&. NO / 𝕁𝕌𝔻𝔾𝔼𝕄𝔼ℕ𝕋

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“ you do ? i wasn’t aware you had that reputation at all. ” lili admitted, partially teasing given that she was nearly certain he was joking himself. “ i thought so, because no one’s ever called you that. how is your ankle, by the way ? doesn’t sound like a fun experience. ” she shook her head. “ absolutely. any specific genre of food in mind ? ”

“i do, i mean i can’t believe you hadn’t already heard, lil,” niall grinned, trying to keep a straight face but failing miserably. “hey, i’ve called meself that and i think that counts. ankle is fine, pretty crazy bruises but not as painful as a few days ago so i’ll take it as a win.” he scratched absently at the top of the boot. “hmm, i did promise you chicken, but i could go anything really. i invited you here and then ruined dinner, so it’s your choice.”

how did you manage that?! i call bullshit on not being spry, you were just distracted, weren’t you? we’ve all been there, niall. you’re not alone.

i may or may not have been a little inebriated and fell over — may or may not, there’s just no way to know, brie, no way at all. ok, i may have gotten distracted by the telly, but i’m only human and i’ve just started rewatching stranger things...

wait, wait, you’re telling me you took so damn long to finally be able to walk after your unfortunate injury that your chicken was absolutely destroyed? man, i’m so sorry. that’s awful, my sincere condolences are being sent your way right now. nothign hurts more than throwing food in the trash, right? if you’re looking for suggestions but are still in the mood for chicken, i recommend some kfc.

the distance between my couch and the kitchen is too far when i’m in this state. thank you for your condolences though, they’re greatly appreciated. yeah, i wish i could salvage it, it feels like a waste to throw it out, but i also want to live, so eating it isn’t really an option. you’ve said the magic words... kfc, i haven’t had that in so long. you want in?

you really are one of the best chefs i know, it’s a well deserved reputation even if it’s one you’ve created yourself. the old age finally catching up on you, niall james?? i could make something instead, you should really be relaxing with your smashed ankle anyways. or if you’re about to pass out i can just order something, do you eat burritos?? i could totally go for a burrito. 

coming from the queen of baked goods? this is high praise, miss swift, and i’m blushing if you can believe it. hey, i’m younger than you, swifty, so you’re really insulting yourself if ya calling me old. not gonna pass out, but i’m also not gonna force ya to cook me something! we can definitely order burritos. hey, have ya ever done that thing with your cats to make them purritos?

that was a very long way to ask me if i wanted to have dinner with you. but i’ll say yes. what do you have in mind? i was thinking about sushi.

see, ‘daya, you get me, you’re pickin’ up what i’m puttin’ down, ya feel? sushi sounds good to me, i want a bit of everything i think. how hungry are you? usual level, not very or monstrous?

“ and what reputation might that be ? you’re about as good a cook as i am, mate. nobody’s ever called you chef horan. ever. ” louis remarked with a light laugh. “ you’ll be back to your usual bouncy self in no time nialler, and till then you’ve got a right decent excuse to laze about. of course i do, to be honest i was hoping we’d end up ordering in anyway, no offence to your chef expertise, though. ”

niall’s nose wrinkled up in mock offence. “’scuse you, mate, i happen to be a fine chef!” he laughed, shaking his head — he’d never been able to be annoyed with louis seriously. “you make it sound like i’m a feckin’ bouncy ball, jumpin’ all over the place. but hopefully you’re right, though you know i get too bored lazing about. yer gonna have to stay and keep me company.” he rolled his eyes good naturedly at the other lad. “alright, alright, we’ll order in. what are ya in the mood for?”

“apples and oranges… huh. wasn’t it pears and apples?” she frowns in confusion for a second before dismissing her own question with a hand. “doesn’t matter. but yeah, i don’t know. i guess i just love the pain and i love all the heartbreaking stuff in music. like, please shatter me to pieces.” she rolls her eyes as she speaks her truth in a joking manner. “i have a problem, oh my god.” looking down at his leg, she ash tilts her head and frowns once again, “what happened to you? what were you even doing?” she asks, now worried about the wellbeing of her friend. “i hope you’re taking some pills for the pain or something. that’s the thing, i love emotional pain, but physical one? i can’t stand it. i’m really fucked up, aren’t i?” she laughs, resting her left side on the back of the sofa as she adjusts to face her friend better. “i’ve been alright. tour’s been over for a while now. i’m just keeping myself entertained with the studio and stuff. i think i wanna get another tattoo.”

“maybe that’s an american thing,” niall muses. “it’s definitely apples and oranges back home.” he shakes his head, laughing as she moves to the next topic. “i like a bit of both, i think it’s good to have the balance. i know people think you write your best stuff when you’re hurting, and you do put out more raw material, i guess? and it resonates more with people, but i would say lover or folklore are taylor’s best albums, and she’s happy in them, and it shows.” he waves her concern off. “drinking. fell over. me ankles been a bit gammy for a few years, it was only a matter of time, really.” he shakes his head at her statement. “nah, you’re human. most people don’t like the pain, unless you’re into some bdsm shite.” he leans back against the couch, stretching his foot out in front of him. “yeah? whatcha thinkin’ about getting?”

niiii, you don’t think i could handle a dog?? but i can’t go jogging with a cat. and what do you mean i’m the human incarnation of a cat!! just because i like my food hand delivered and people to play with my hair, and laying in the sun doesn’t mean i’m like a cat. i do love their cats. hmm…or i could bring it with me, though that’d probably be stressful for it wouldn’t it?? i’d get one from a shelter, not a breeder. though naming it niall might be good, because then i could just tell everyone i’m hanging with niall and they’d think it was you. what a good prank. 

i think you could handle a dog, but i think you’re more of a cat guy. you could go jogging with a cat! you could strap it to your back in a little bag and go. you just answered your own question, bud, you literally described a house cat. house cat harreh. hmm, dunno, taylor brings her cats on tour, doesn’t she? maybe ask her how they get about. i think if they’re always on tour with you, they’d get used to the pack up and go situation. true, get a rescue cat. still call it niall because niall is a quality name. best name in the universe. great prank, harry buddy, though you know then we’d get photographed on opposite ends of the earth and everyone would be like huh?

glad to see you turning over this new leaf. i’ll be ready for a detailed report afterward. oh, i can’t imagine how big those shoes are to fill. gotta’ go into it knowing you won’t be as good as bale, and whatever happens after that happens. marvel, usually, but even then i’m a little pathetic with keeping up. black panther sealed the deal for me. hell, the soundtrack alone did me in! how’d you break your foot? glad you lived to see another day, anyway. course i do! the title track slaps, and i mean that from the bottom of my heart. oh, it’s unreal how good it is. right there with you. where do you want to start with britney’s bops? no, you know what - we’ll start with a girl named lucky. hold on, let me get my lighter to wave in the air.

i’ve decided that 2020 is all about growth. or something. expanding your horizons and what not. i mean, look, you at least would know you’re gonna be better than affleck, and maybe even clooney — though, he wasn’t bad, he was just unfortunate to be in a nippled batsuit. ah, i’m the same, i think it’s because marvel pop out with new things every month it seems, particularly now it’s aligned with disney. black panther is a quality choice there, but i think iron man is still my favourite. it probably helps that robert downey junior basically is tony stark. ahh, well, technically me ankle, i guess i should say. i... stumbled coming out of a pub, ha. thank ya so much! i was nervous about this one because it was so unlike flicker, but glad to hear you liked it! i made a gym playlist of britney’s bops... i completely forgot how good lucky is. likewise with overprotected. now i want to watch that movie she did. i think we need a parks & rec marathon followed by a britney dance party.

do you think i’m more of a cat guy or a dog guy?? i feel like i want a pet, i‘ve never had one and it’s always been a dream of mine. though i want one of each, and i feel like i should start with one then figure it out. so, what do you think??  

@ragstarters​

harreh, you are the human incarnation of a cat, so if you think you could have a dog, ya dreamin, mate. i’ve seen ya with ya mum and gem’s cats, so don’t pretend. plus, that way they can go stay with anne when you’re off gallivanting the world as ya do. get a little bengal and call it niall because i’m cute and exotic like a bengal.

you’ve gotta’ open your mind, man. that time as edward cullen, brooding king of the decade, must have done him some good. better than batfleck, at least. dude was doing too much and it came across all messy. i’m holding out hope for this one. black widow, long overdue! what’s up, niall? i’ll take albums, too, jazz up some playlists. i’ve already got yours. kicked ass. right? i swear i’ll rewatch every six months or so. mouse rat needs no promotion here.  

i like to think i’m a pretty open minded guy, but... no, ya know what? just for you, i’ll give it a go. i’ll even watch the trailer. i feel sorry for guys who step into the batman role though, to be honest, it’s a lot of pressure, especially with a long line of great batmans before them. you more of a marvel or a dc, or do you love them equally? not much! restin’ the broken foot... too many shenanigans, ya know? how’s ya-self? i was gonna shamelessly plug heartbreak weather but ya revealed ya had it, so thank ya very much. i’m really diggin’ taylor’s new album, folklore is on repeat. and i also re-discovered britney spears... no word of a lie, she had some bangers, didn’t she? i’m probably due for a rewatch to be honest. i wish they’d put out a mouse rat album, you’re five thousand candles in the wind.

“i don’t know…” she says while sitting down on the other’s sofa. it’s a lazy day and nothing’s better than catching up with the people she hasn’t seen in a while due to work. “i feel like it was a good record but nothing can beat multiply, you know?” she’s referring to ed sheeran’s third album, of course. “i used to be a big fan but then divide happened and i kind of lost -i mean- he lost that spark. does that make sense? i don’t know, that’s just my opinion.” she shrugs. “but anyway, we don’t need to talk about the ginger man now, i haven’t seen you in a while. how are you?”

@ragstarters​

niall can’t help but chuckle at the way ashley makes herself at home -- not that he’s surprised, he likes it. it’s casual and lazy and it’s the marker of being comfortable with the other person. “oooh,” he comments, rubbing the stubble on his chin thoughtfully. “i think divide is a very different vibe to multiply though, it shows he was at a different stage of life when it wrote it. like apples and oranges, if you will.” he can’t really judge when artists do that -- while one direction put out generally the same pop sounding albums ( except for their later ones when they fought for more control ), his two solo albums had sounded fairly dissimilar to one another. harry’s too. it was like they were still testing the waters with their sounds. “honestly? lovin’ my down time but it has led to accidents like this...” he gestures down at his leg, a hazard from a drunken night out. “but apart from that, ok. how’re ya, love?”

the new batman trailer has been living in my head rent-fucking-free since it dropped. you can catch me front row next year when the movie comes out. i’m no movie buff, but it’s not too late to become one, is it? what new movies are you looking forward to? self promote the hell out of yourself, now’s the time! i’m jordan, looking to expand my horizons … and maybe stop watching reruns of shows over ten years old. here’s lookin’ at you, parks & recreation. 

@ragstarters​

i don’t know how i feel about battinson, to be honest. look, i know he’s come a long way since his twilight days and he hated that time as well, but i just don’t know if i see him as batman. better than batfleck though. also, nah, never too late to be a movie buff, i think if ya enjoy them, then who cares? i was keen for wonder woman and black widow. ha! i’m niall, and i’m not in any movies but can recommend ya some albums! parks & rec is class though, mate.