nishta venkatesh

this is a video of me practicing a jungle beat, i messed up a bunch (confession lol)

here is a draft of my graphic novel project. im using illustrator to portray different parts of my life through color auras and gradients. this is kind of a basic start, i might add more than just age phases (ex: first concert, first heartbreak, etc). but for now i just tried to show my life through colors and shadows.

confessional vlog

this is one of my band's vlogs that we randomly made last year. i feel like most vlogs are inherently confessional in the sense that it gives viewers an inside look into someone's life, most of the shots show more than what a different form of video media might show. for example, you might find a video of our 30 minute performance, but the vlog shows you everything else that happened that same day leading up to it.

micrographic memoir

this is one of american apparel's iconic ads that took the internet by storm in the early 2010's. they played off of this laidback, casual, provocative yet relatable vibe that everyone wanted to be a part of. it was one of the first brands that shaped thousands of young social media user's identity and honestly contributed to what an 'aesthetic' is today. having american apparel items or posting pictures of their bags was a huge moment and even people who could not buy their products would post about it to feel like they are part of the american apparel identity.

we had a conversation about loss

about how you grieve the loss of kin

about how the warm solace of a lover turns into a cold, distant unfamiliarity

and the anger that follows you after carelessly losing your favorite leather jacket at the bar

you grieve the lost opportunities that could have made you ‘great’

or at least in a subjectively better place than you’re in now 

you lost your best friend from grade school to a petty disagreement

one petty enough to confine their existence to a mere linkedin notification

you realize too late that you’ve lost your culture 

and that your parents know stability only in a second language 

the same language they made a better life for you in

you traded reality and authenticity for right swipes and algorithms

so much so that you lost the sweet lady at the café to an iPad on a swivel stand

but the loss that seems to get swept under the rug,

and arguably the loss most intrinsic to your soul

is that of your previous self --

and the world as you had known it

the idea that your childhood was temporary never seemed to cross your mind

you never anticipated the last bedtime story,

the last time you’d beg your mom to drive you and three friends to the mall,  

or the last time that ‘summer break’ was a real summer break,

not three months allotted to carefully plotting how to make your résumé look better

and you certainly don’t remember when “why are adults so tired all the time?”  

turned into “where do these kids get so much energy from?”

or the last time you were showered with christmas presents 

before being the one spending your entire last paycheck on them

the restlessness you once felt before an important day is now drowned out with melatonin,

and you sleep through all those brisk mornings that previously accompanied you at your sixth grade bus stop

engulfed in a slew of transitory phases, you never formally completed your teenage self’s search for meaning

probably because you got busy, 

and you lost the privilege to ponder, 

a privilege that a slow and undemanding life once gave to you in hopeful abundance

we had a conversation about loss

how we lose ourselves to the sudden complexity of life,

and how quickly everything escapes us --

apart from the inevitability to transform.

recording sesh non selfie doing some drum n bass

good weather flick between classes

here is a selfie that our cat yuno took with my roommate on my phone

selfie #1 played a show last night at the delancey for valentines day and took a pic of my outfit

me talking about time (at 60 bpm) because i was running out of time

mini podcast!!

The Office

above is a screenshot from the office. the office is a fictional show filmed as reality TV, and there are many scenes in which the cast members go into 'confessional' and reveal certain things to the camera that they hide from their coworkers. it serves as an added layer of humor to the show and creates more dimension than the regular scenes.

SZA - Kill Bill

There is a lot to unpack in this song. The entire song is basically a confession of SZA wanting to kill her ex and her ex's new girl which masks the real confession that she feels anger, jealousy, and shame - and that she would rather feel these things than be alone while her ex moves on.

"I hate to see you happy if I ain't the one driving"

"I'm so mature, I got me a therapist to tell me there's other men, but I don't want none I just want you, if I can't have you no one should"

"I might kill my ex, not the best idea, his new girlfriend's next, how'd I get here?"

"Rather be in jail than be alone"

i am most interested in trying out the video/audio mediums. i have always been interested in film and video content in general so i am excited to be able to scratch that creative itch and see what i come up with. i'm also a musician and have played the drums/other stuff for over 10 years so adding some cool sound to a podcast definitely sounds appealing to me.

i will say i'm less excited for the graphic novel (for lack of better words) only because i'm not the best at drawing. i am still looking forward to it but it is easier for me to gravitate towards something i'm better at/more familiar with.

i have a tendency to keep things to myself, unless i trust the person (big scorpio energy). i don't tend to overshare online unless i really have to, i only post things that i feel comfortable sharing.

i would not say that the personal is political but rather that the political is personal. it affects real people and real lives.

i'm interested in developing an online persona and challenging the relationship between art vs. artist. someone's outward 'identity' may not always reflect what they create in music, photography, writing, or any medium for that matter.