I’ve wanted to be vegetarian and even vegan since I was a teenager. I’ve talked to my mom many times before I even got married about it but she always discouraged me from doing it. So once I moved out and got married, got started on my addiction treatment, I wanted to give it a go.
I’ve always been interested in astrology. Space, the moon. Planets. My mom and I used to go watch the meteor showers. I’ve always wanted to buy a moon lamp. I just never really got around to it because when I got my first job I was in a lot of debt so I had to pay that back. There is a lot of stuff I wanted to buy just never got around to it. And then when I got married stuff Is expensive.
I’ve always felt I’ve had a gift. Or gifts. I’m not really sure. I know ever since my granddad passed (who I call my dad, he raised me) I’ve experienced many strange things from myself. I can sense spirits. I’ve also seen them. I can sense things that might happen. It’s really hard for me to explain and I have only told my mom bits of it since 2004.
I’ve always been into witchy stuff. Am I a witch? I don’t know. But I’m fascinated by it. I’ve always wanted to make my own book of shadows. I love herbs. I love anything spells. I feel like I’m a witch. But I never practiced because my mom wasn’t. And truthfully she hated the idea. She told me if I ever wanted to do that to move out and do it on my own. Unfortunately at my new place with my husband I don’t feel like I have a dedicated space and this is important to me. I need a space of my own. An altar. I need a room to put all my supplies. My books. So I never got around to it. I mostly just read about it. My first book was “the green witch” which I read in 2015 before I even got with my husband.
I’ve always been interested in tarot. I got my first tarot deck from “White’s Farm” it’s a flea market place. It’s from 1960s and kinda old. I picked it out from a witchy shop. She had a lot more items I felt drawn to but I only had $20 which is what the tarot deck cost. It was originally $40 but I loved it so much she lowered the price. I never got around to learning how to use the deck once again because as I said my mom was against anything like this being 17 she was mad I bought it in the first place.
I felt so much resistance from my mom and family to be who I felt I really was that I just shut down. I never pursued it. Even when I became free to, I still never did. I just worked so much at stant and I never had extra money. Games were easier to buy and hang out with Steven. I just never pursued my interests.
Until I met someone in June who made me think about all I missed. She did everything I was interested in and I thought why did I push all of this to the back burner? Maybe she could help me. Since she was interested in all of the stuff I was. I thought it was so cool I found someone like me. I even told my mom I was excited to have made a friend.
So imagine my surprise when she backstabbed me. Said she had all this evidence on me about “copying her” she even told me I was a nutcase. She told me I was pathetic. She went behind my back to my husband and told him “you need to do something about Morgann” “maybe she don’t have many friends I don’t know but it’s got to stop” saying that I follow when she changes her Facebook photo then I make a new one. That I tried to overshadow her when I made a post about my experiences with loved ones dying, which is ironic because she’s the one who told me writing was very therapeutic and would help me. Told me she wanted to use me as an example of how writing helps trauma, then turned around and used it against me.
And I felt like something was up months before that but I thought no I’m just being weird because it’s been so long since I had a friend. Boy was I wrong. What’s sad is she doesn’t even think she did anything wrong. She says how I triggered her and made her life hell. Okay how? I get her parents died within a year of each other but how did I trigger her? She never came to me and told me anything. Was I not supposed to talk about my own mom? When she asked “hey what’s up?” And I went with my mom somewhere should I lie and say oh nothing? I’m not going to tip toe on eggshells around anyone. Yeah it’s sad but people learn to deal. No one tip toed around me when I lost my dad or my biological mom. I couldn’t stay inside my house for months or years. I had to still attend school. I had a life to live. And I was hurt by her because I was trying to be her friend. I didn’t want her to be alone. I didn’t want her to hurt. That’s why I messaged her. I wanted to be there for her. And it’s not like she wasn’t friends with my husbands family. I mean fuck, they are friends still. And tbh I’m still hurt by this. I’ve had a trough life of anxiety myself. I’ve been suffering with addiction. With loss. Everyone has shit. But it doesn’t give anyone the right to stomp on another person. And what kills me is this chick thinks she’s some kind of healer. “I just want to help people” “I’m an Empath” yeah If you’re such an Empath then how did you get me so wrong then? Everything you said about me is the opposite. This has been eating me up inside since Jan and I finally felt like sharing how I felt about it. Truth be told, I blocked her immediately because I was so shocked and hurt. She said I was a stalker. She said so many mean things about me that I literally cried for days, while she told my husband “I triggered her” no she triggered me. And if she was ever triggered by me, that was her own fault. Because I been nothing but nice to her. And then to have her call me out on Facebook over shit I wasn’t even aware of. Over stuff obviously she didn’t even know of because she didn’t take the time to know me apparently. And here I was so fucking naive and proud I made a friend when in reality she was out to get me. I think a bout it a lot even the fact I told her about my addiction when no one hardly knew. I felt close enough to tell her. And she did that to me. It takes a cold as fuck hearted person to do that. I know she’s been through a lot but so have I and s lot of others have to and it doesn’t give anyone a free card to be a cruel Bitch. Especially to someone that’s clueless. Maybe I’ll post this. Maybe I’ll put a link to my Facebook. I mean she called me out and I never got to say how I felt about it. What hurts even more is she just goes on like I didn’t even matter any. Like it’s good I’m gone. And to make it worse, she still interacts with my husbands family. Isn’t that just the icing on the fucking cake? As far as her evidence goes, when I say I like something oh I want that, usually that just means it’s really cute and something I’d buy but I probably won’t. Tbh it don’t even matter what her evidence was. Because if she was an adult, a real friend, a caring soul (like she claims) she would have came to me and asked. Maybe it could have been sorted out. I would keep typing for days because of how mad and triggered I am but I won’t and I have screens of what she said if you’re interested.
