Nile

Based on this image which I recreated from memory:

People be focusing on Patrick and Paul when we have this HUNK right in front of us 🥰

Technically, it WAS on TV, just not the channel that we are subscribed to... I did cry a little, but I'm (relatively) fine now... Maybe.

So, to calm myself, I decided to open TikTok and look up content about it on there...

For those who are blessed enough to not know, TikTok LOVES to mischaracterize and misinterpret American Psycho, ESPECIALLY Patrick Bateman. But in my weak state of mind, I didn't think clearly... And now... Now I'm more pissed than ever.

One of the first videos was of some kid spewing nonsense about how "Patrick Bateman being a loser is up to interpretation and everyone can interpret the media differently"...

You can't interpret something that's objective. And I'm not joking here or being sarcastic, he is MEANT to be a douchebag loser. You can't throw around words and not understand that they actually mean something.

I'll use another media for example; "Metamorphosis" by Franz Kafka. SOME of the main themes of the book are about being an outcast, not belonging and being pushed out of society when deemed "useless". That's objective. Meanwhile, the transformation of Gregor is something that can be up to interpretation, as in what it represents.

The whole book/movie can't be up for interpretation. There has to be some objective facts that keep the story pushing.

In "American Psycho", the subjective/"up to interpretation" parts would be "Did he really kill anyone?", "What actually happened to Paul?", "What actually happened in the end?" and so on.

I'm not going to name the kid or insult him, but I wanted to take this opportunity to teach people that "up for interpretation" doesn't mean twisting something to fit YOUR narrative.

I originally bought it for 7×10⁹ FREEDOM dollars while already being in "crippling gambling debt" (or whatever the WOKE LIBERAL SNOWFLAKES call it) from spending my hard earned money (which I EARNED by streaming on TWITCH and spreading the LORD'S WORDS on how we should all judge our neighbors, throw stones at sinners and not help the people in need) on the new Adopt Me Egg release!

My NAGGING WIFE filed a RESTRAINING ORDER against me alongside DIVORCE PAPERS, saying "Your addiction to children's games and your overall inability to be financially responsible as a 45 year old man is terrifying and should be investigated" not long after I bought 'im. My month old son spoke up in clear English and forbade ME from ever speaking to HIM. THE HOUSE grew feet, walked away and has stayed with MY WIFE since and now works part-time in a hospital. My dog left to pursue his dream of becoming a writer, joined a whacky Family and since has become nothing more than a jerk... Guy

All this to say, I regret NOTHING! He's been my everything, my one and only, the one that DIDN'T g(o)et away. And before the liberal snowflakes say somethin'; no, this isn't "gay" or "homoerotic" or whatever. And you wanna know why? Cause I haven't taken my socks off since I got him!

I present to you:

Luis John Lenin McCartney smoking a cig

Sure, he meant it in a "I'm a psychopath and nobody knows it" way, but when observing the people around him, it isn't wrong to say that it's true.

Names are a loose concept to Wall Street men. Everyone pretty much shares the same mass illusion of what status a specific name carries. They don't know who that person actually is and just assume that they're talking about the same person.

This was inspired by a post I saw that said something along the lines of "My theory is that Patrick Bateman is actually Marcus Halberstram and that 'Marcus' is actually 'Patrick'", but I heavily disagree.

First of all, we don't even know if the person who Patrick calls Marcus IS Marcus. Patrick himself doesn't have a shared name amongst his co-workers (a random co-worker in the hall (the sigma walking scene if that jogs anyone's memory) calls him "Hamilton", Paul Allen calls him "Marcus Halberstram", his lawyer, Harold Carnes, calls him "Davis"). How we do know that Patrick is Patrick is from the interactions with Jean and detective Donald Kimball, and overall personal relationships he had.

Detective Kimball addresses him by Patrick Bateman multiple times. Most people would agree that Kimball was suspicious of Patrick (I personally believe that Willem Dafoe in general looks like he knows your deepest secrets), so wouldn't his name be something he'd ask about?

Jean, as his secretary, handles his work and probably legal issues, so she definitely knows his legal name.

Legally changing his name doesn't count cause then he IS Patrick Bateman. And if he did so, he'd done it long before meeting any of his friends. Imagine changing your name when you're friends with a group of bigots... Do you really think that they'd let that down? Ever?

Plus, in the story we run into people from his past, some from his college years (in the book), and they all call him Patrick.

And since we are talking about legal issues, Harold Carnes is NOT somebody I'd trust with anything. He probably works for more than half the company, most likely bribes the judges and other notorious "lawyer" stuff.

You can argue "Well, he was trying to make it into a joke so Patrick wouldn't get into trouble", but not directly telling a mentally unwell person (an understatement of the century right here) who famously can't read body language or pick up on social cues to follow a storyline you made up will lead to more trouble in the long-run.

And anyway, I don't think he's that smart to come up with that in the first place.

Or maybe he's lazy enough to not care about the consequences.

And to add to this, Paul Allen calls Craig McDermott "Baxter" in the famous card scene. Unless that is an 80s slang for something (which I doubt since in the script it's written with a capital letter, indicating a name, more likely a surname), the "nobody knows who anybody is" theory just proves to be correct again... Well, it isn't really a theory, but still.

Patrick says, as 10 different people show a card with "Vice President" on it

For example:

I accidentally found some random Bill Skarsgård movie a few days ago while looking for something else. I can't remember the exact one, so I'll just use a movie he was in last year called "Locked" (I never watched it and never will, I just needed an example). His other role, which he is most known for, is Pennywise in the hit movie(s) "It". "It" was originally a novel written by Stephen King. Stephen King made a short-lived TV series in 2002 called "Rose Red". One of the main characters in "Rose Red" is Emery Waterman, who is played by the most gorgeous man alive; Matt Ross. And we all know that Matt Ross played the most iconic, breathtakingly beautiful, whimsical, confident, love-of-my-life character; Luis Carruthers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All this to say that I found a picture of Matt Ross is "American Horror Story" and he was covered in blood... I would say "I could get pregnant just by looking at the pictures", but his character did illegal abortions and then someone killed and dismembered his child and he tried to sew the child back together out of grief?? Also his wife shoots him and herself?? I saw a 20 minute recap of that season cause I'm too broke to watch the whole thing so I have no clue if that's even correct...

And just as I was thinking of an alternative universe where Luis is the psycho... That AU is more and more tempting every time I think about it...

Here's a pic of him in a random episode of "American Horror Story" (season one) I took while watching the recap... I'm so tired of pretending that Matt Ross isn't fine, I'm not going to be silenced no mo!!

All mine, by the way!!

Someone most likely did something similar to the "we are not getting a reservation at Dorsia", but I still wanted to make it ❤️