憎しみ

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i'm working on my vaccination tech certification irl and have honestly just been engaging in other hobbies, if you're waiting for me to write you something you might be waiting a while, but i do promise that i will make a return here eventually when i get the writing bug again! my discord is iwbltatt for anyone who wants to chatter about our blorbos ; i am more likely to reply faster to those who plot with me, but right now things are at a stand still because i'm using the free time i do have for socially isolated hobbies that don't require much communication. c:

as always, you can see my tracked threads here. maybe i'll compile all my asks to take stock of what i have, but i'm honestly leaning toward picking some out to answer and deleting the rest because of how old they're getting. we'll see !

sasuke's harsh tone, and biting words, glint off of knox easily. he knows he is no good at socializing, and hasn't found any desire to try much recently. knox is glad to have a life of (mostly) his own, and if that meant he had to play house sitter for the last remaining uchiha... so be it. when he notices the rinnegan, knox feels the hair on the back of his neck bristle.

"i've not had many opportunities," knox speaks calmly, walking with measured pace into the kitchen, "to practice domesticity."

his social life is a joke. now he was having tea with someone paid to stalk him. sasuke could almost laugh ; he's quiet, calculative, eyes watching the other like a hawk while he doesn't take the tea he's so graciously poured for him. perhaps he believed it poisoned, even though he's poured from the same pot? perhaps he simply does not like white tea.

sasuke doesn't care.

his notes lie there with so many words scribbled in that she wonders, vaguely, if she’s being given a run for her money. well, better him than someone else, she thinks, amused. ❝ y’think so? ❞ she is grinning, joyous in the praise. there is no one more truthful than sasuke; he says things as they should be spoken / he says things that he means. ❝ then i will consider it as a backup career! i think it’ll be fun. i even have you to vouch for me. i’m going to convince naruto next so that i can leech recommendation letters off him. ❞ a jest, a whimsical jest. naruto probably can’t write even one of those without shikamaru to consult with.

" i do. " if there's anyone that could be considered driven, it would be sakura. it's a good thing ; she's got the best work ethic of team seven and the accomplishments to match. while he was off avenging his clan, what was she doing? toiling away at a career that saves lives instead of taking them. there's nothing more honorable than that in this world that he could think of. " hn. i'll write you a glowing review. "

when the plate is handed over, he sets it down atop his notes ; it's better that his break is actually a break after all. he took another bite of apple bunny and hummed under his breath, swallowing before he spoke again. " the moon rabbit in distant lands was said to be making medicine -- the elixir of life, in some texts. the apple bunny is a more feasible alternative unless you want to start teaching children medicine. "

that's actually not a bad idea. he looked thoughtful for a moment, considering how young sakura was when she began studying under tsunade.

It was the simple truth. He didn't necessarily have a problem with Sasuke - not on a personal level, truly. The concepts in which he represented to Neji, he did have a problem with. The betrayal, the sacrifice of his and other comrades's bodies, then the redemption - and then the forgiveness.

However, Neji was also painfully aware of how the problem he had with Sasuke was borne out of a selfishness and an internalized sense of self-destruction. But he must consider that - he too had been forgiven. If Hinata had been willing to forgive him for almost taking her life when he was so wrapped up in his own anger at thirteen - her barely being twelve...

Then he could ignore his moral compass. And he knew that it was something inside of him that he had been taught years ago. Uchiha and Hyuga had been rival clans before the massacre. The Hyuga had been more forthright with the village as it was founded, providing the land and resources in exchange for political and military power.

But, was that not simply a continuation of more of his ancestors' belief in destiny? They were more than their names and more than the blood in their veins.

Sasuke's gaze is still an unrelenting thing, not breaking even when he pops a chunk of tuna in his mouth, chewing it silently. He doesn't know what's going on in Neji's head; frankly he's never even thought twice about what the Hyuga thinks of him.

" It's good. Have you never had it before? "

The Uchiha is turning over a new leaf anyway, pushing the chair opposite of him out with his foot as an invitation for the other to sit. He points with the chopsticks emphatically.

the questions spat at him hurt. that year still weighs heavy on him, and he knows that he should have been here. but knox also knows it is not fair of sasuke to throw this at him; when his choices were limited, knox acted impulsively to avoid regret. what an irony that was, now that he stands here full of it. words die before they can leave him, what can he say? he's sorry? he is, but that won't change anything now. knox can't stop the hurt from pinching his brows together, or twisting like a painful fist in his chest.

"you know..." his voice is quiet as the fight drains out of him slowly, leaving him cold and (under it all) fearful, "you know if i'd had any other choice, one that kept me here with you, i would have taken it."

tears, angry and hot, threaten but knox staunches them back. someone honks a car horn outside absurdly, a small reminder that life goes on. it feels like there is a fist cramming itself down his throat, making knox want to gag. sasuke continues, getting closer as he does, knox's breath catches in his throat. their noses are nearly touching now, as sasuke is gnashing out his biting words. all knox can think, pitifully, is that he doesn't want to feel cornered by sasuke of all people.

"i do understand what you want, sasuke," his voice is strained, as he steps backward to create some space between them. despair waterlogs him, and he leans back against the dining room table nearly knocking the glass bowl holding their keys off. knox thinks of his own life, and the violence he's had to endure for other people's revenge quests or vanity. he loves sasuke, achingly, even if neither of them are willing to acknowledge it, "and... i can gather that you're in too deep to stop now."

one and two, sensing the disturbance, slink away to hiding spots in the apartment. one tucks himself under the couch while two retreats to the the space underneath knox's bed. sasuke does not share this desire to hide from his problems, even when they're with someone he never thought would oppose him in any way.

" what makes you think i have any other choices to make? should i run away and let him get away with killing my entire family? " they both know the answer is that sasuke can't. there's a minor respite in that sasuke doesn't step closer to him when he stumbles back, grasping for what little space there is available between them and dining room table. he doesn't want to fight him either, but the gnashing parts of him that sinks its fangs into everything he loves keeps his eyes ice cold.

" i don't want you to be my weapon. his life is mine, no one else can take it. " he says as if it's some material object they're talking about instead of danzo's wellbeing, but he takes the out that knox is desperate for, forging a fragile peace between them.

"okay, fuck! okay," there's no attempt to hide the acid in his tone, as knox shifts on the couch while holding a towel-wrapped ice pack to his face. guilt is quick to surface, and knox lets out a clenched, "thank you."