never washing spiders down the plughole

Here’s to 2017 being full of laughter, mental stability, good friends, and gorgeous sunsets

concept: go to sleep early and wake up early to tackle the day, accomplish Things™ reality: goes to bed at 2am, wakes up at 12pm, is dead inside

you could be my boyfriend of 85 years or my husband of 586778 years or my favourite teacher or my most beloved mentor but if you are a man and you yell at me or raise your voice at me i can 100% guarantee our relationship will never be the same ever again there is something so treacherous about men who needlessly raise their voice 

Do not jingle their bell without their permission!

“This has to stop Karen! Im putting my paw down!”

I love how the cat begins to show more and more emphasis

Reblog in 10 seconds and $1700 will come your way

I have nothing to lose and 1700$ to gain

do older generations not get fatalistic humor?? like the other day my friend’s parents were hanging around and we were joking and i was like “well no matter what i can always fling myself off the nearest cliff” and they didn’t laugh then later the mom pulled me aside and was like “maybe you should get some help, sweetie” like stfu?? help? in this economy? i don’t think so, debra

I honestly don’t think they get it as a coping mechanism, they think it’s a cry for help rather than actually helping.

i’d even say it’s past just coping and is also now a category of Stuff Kids Got Used To When No One Was Looking; not everyone using that humor is even covering up something bigger, we just stopped thinking fatalistic = taboo/unspeakable somewhere along the line, and most parents don’t seem to know why or how ~

My boss opened a door and missed me by inches, he said “whoops, almost killed you there!” My result of “Oh, if only.” Led to an awkward end of shift debrief.

This generation shares the same humor as the goddamn Addams Family and the previous generation is the White Sixties Family™ that lives next door and runs away screaming at the end of the episode

I’m so tired and I just want to be kissed.

Oh and also that she cares sooo much about Scotland uwu but her Lumos charity operates in England but not here lmao