All i got for mothers day were the painful reality checks of just how meaningless my life is, how insignificant i am to everyone i care about.
Im done dude. I give up. Theres literally no reason to keep this facade up anymore.
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@nihilistic-lilith
All i got for mothers day were the painful reality checks of just how meaningless my life is, how insignificant i am to everyone i care about.
Im done dude. I give up. Theres literally no reason to keep this facade up anymore.

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“But I need to feel beautiful and holy things around me, always: music, mystery cults, symbols, myths. I need it, and I refuse to give it up… . That’s my fatal flaw.”
— Hermann Hesse, Demian (via shisasan)
Tove Ditlevsen, from a poem featured in There Lives a Young Girl in Me Who Will Not Die: Selected Poems

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Remembering when there used to be people who were proud to think they were the first ones to text me "happy birthday" at midnight. . .
12:01 and tonight ive ran down dwindled lists of names of people considering if i could reach out and ask for help from anyone. . .
Because im suffering beyond what i can handle anymore and i know im not gunna make it.
No one would care enough to make sure i survive this.
Im sorry for being a failure.
Eraserhead (1977), dir. David Lynch
Tomorrow is my birthday and i know im going to spend it depressed, alone, and wishing i could die on my birthday like william shakespeare
😮💨🥺

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is there anybody out there...?
😔
the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this
not again

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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