hello    friends    and    fiends    !    my    name    is    dolly,    i’m    twenty    years    old,    and    my    pronouns    are   she/her.    i’m    an    aspiring    teacher    taking    a    gap    year,    i    work    a    part    time    job,    and    i    do    a    lot    of    professional    writing    outside    of    tumblr.    thanks    to    my    busy    schedule,    my    activity    will    be    sporadic,    and    based    solely    on    my    muse.    i    also    have    my    multimuse,    and    my    other    singular    star    wars    blogs,    so    there’s    a    real    emphasis    in    regards    to    my    timing...    i’m    even    on    rp    twitter. ( don’t    worry—    some    of    them    will    eventually    go    back    to    their    homes ). Oh !    and    my    timezone    is    pacific    standard    time.

𝑇𝑂 𝐷𝑂 𝐿𝐼𝑆𝑇 / 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝐻𝐼𝑇 𝐿𝐼𝑆𝑇 ——

( LAST UPDATED ON AUGUST. 9TH 2021 ) drafts: 6 starters owed: 2 ( @/warlcks , @/meddled ). queue: 0 inbox: 10 metas to write: alice and her mother’s death, the dog attack, her first encounter with magic. discord: 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐲#6669 (    mutuals    only    !    quickest    way    to    reach    me    .    )

𝐼𝑀𝑃𝑂𝑅𝑇𝐴𝑁𝑇 𝐿𝐼𝑁𝐾𝑆 ——

BLOG UPDATE / REBOOT : hi, is anyone still here ? I sure hope so... I've been gone for about, what? two years now, and I feel ready to return back to this blog now that I've been on my other blogs for the last few months.

The idea of moving blogs and re-starting from scratch feels like torture to me, so I'll be slowly cleaning up things around here. I may or may not write before I get new graphics ( I have yet to decide that ) but I will definitely be around to plot, and I will be on discord to write too !

@meddled​ 𝙻𝙴𝙵𝚃 𝙰 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙵𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽 : ‘  if somebody says ‘bless your heart’, what they really mean is ‘fuck you’.  ’ / from camille

Huffing   out   a   little   laugh   while   she   stirs   her   drink,   Alice’s   eyes   are   locked   onto   the   alcohol   that   twirls   around   in   that   𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒊   𝒈𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔   of   hers,   courtesy   to   her   very   stirring.   Taking   out   tooth   pick,   STABBED   through   two   olives,   she   sets   it   onto   the   counter,   only   to   pick   up   the   glass   and   raise   it   to   her   lips...   A   pause,   before   she   drinks,   ❝         I   might   not   be   from   the   South,   but   I   know   what   𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒   𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑   𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓   means,   𝘊𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦.         ❞

Sips   from   the   cup,   she   sets   it   down   before   moving   the   conversation   forward.   ❝         I   just   don’t   get   why   she’s   so...   𝑃𝐴𝑆𝑆𝐼𝑉𝐸   𝐴𝐺𝐺𝑅𝐸𝑆𝑆𝐼𝑉𝐸   towards   you.   I   do,   but   I   don’t.   Nothing   cuts   like   a   mother.         ❞

@ivestwins​​ 𝙻𝙴𝙵𝚃 𝙰 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙵𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽 : ‘  Don't call it a fight when you know it's a war  ’ (from Will!)

Carrying   the   bucket   as   they   walked   through   a   low   shoulder   ditch,   Alice   and   Will   were   both   collecting   some   rocks   for   Lucas’   slingshot.   A   bad   storm   was   brewing   from   ꓕHƎ   ՈԀSIᗡƎ   ᗡOϺN,   and   now   was   the   time   to   prepare   for   a   noble-war.   It   was   a   team   effort   getting   everyone   ready,   and   knowing   Alice   and   Eleven   were   going   to   work   together   ( no   prep   needed   outside   of   eating   a   balanced   meal   and   getting   sleep ),   she’d   put   her   time   into   helping   the   others   until   the   flood-gates   crashed   open   and   unleashed   upon   the   streets   and   citizens   of   Hawkins.

A   clacking   noise   sounds   out   as   she   plopped   another   rock   into   the   bucket   from   which   she’d   plucked   from   the   ground   below.   The   rocks   were   all,   for   the   most   part,   spherical.   Easy   to   shoot   with   a   decent   amount   of   damage   if   aimed   right   at   the   correct   speed.

❝   Does   it   matter ?   ❞   Alice   asks,   ❝   Fight...   War...   We   all   know   how   this   is   going   to   end,   and   I’m   not   going   to   𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄   𝐌𝐘   𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄   worrying   about   giving   it   a   name.   We   can’t   give   it   the   advantage   of   thinking   this   is   a   war.   In   a   fight,   anyone   can   have   the   upper-hand;   but   a   war   means   it’s   an   equal   match.   ❞

@wyntered​ 𝙻𝙴𝙵𝚃 𝙰 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙵𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽 : ‘  tomorrow ,  when  i  wake  up ,  i  promise ,  i  will  be  better .  ’

❝         And   you   will.   I   know   that   you   will   because   you’re   strong,   Buck.   You’re   persistent.   I’ve   never   known   you   as   someone   who   gave   up   so   easily,   so   don’t   give   up   on   yourself.   At   least   extend   that   𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒   𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑠𝑦   to   your   own   well-being.         ❞   She   says,   brows   scrunched   together.   It   was   clear   by   her   expression   that   she   was   worried   about   him.   Every   word   that   came   out   of   her   mouth   held   a   truth   to   it,   but   it   was   almost   as   though   she   believed   that   if   she   didn’t   convince   him   of   these   things   right   now,   something   AWFUL   might   happen.   She   was   hopeful   she   could   make   him   believe   too.

He   was   on   the   right   path,   though.

❝         I   don’t   believe   everything   happens   for   a   reason.   Sometimes   the   universe   just...   𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑳𝑬𝑻𝑬𝑳𝒀   𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑺   𝑼𝑺,   and   we   have   to   live   with   that.   But   it   doesn’t   mean   we   can’t   take   control   of   our   own   destiny.   𝒀𝒐𝒖   𝒕𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕   𝒎𝒆   𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕.         ❞

@synchronzed​​ 𝙻𝙴𝙵𝚃 𝙰 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙵𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽 : ‘  Man, I'm so high  ’

Staring   at   the   night   sky   above   them,   Alice   had   her   hands   crossed   and   resting   loosely   on   her   chest   while   it   rose   and   fell   with   each   breath   she   took.   They   were   placed   meticulously   with   intent.   Was   she   really   breathing   right   now?   WAS   SHE   TRULY   HERE ?   Alive?   She   had   to   make   sure.

The   sky   was   so   dark   it   looked   black   rather   than   a   darker   shade   of   blue.   But   the   stars...   See,   that   was   the   thing   about   𝐻𝑎𝑤𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑠.   Sure,   maybe   it   wasn’t   like   the   tiniest   town   in   the   midwest,   but   it   was   small   enough   that   you   could   actually   see   those   stars   in   the   sky.   Heck,   you   might   even   see   them   twinkle   if   you   pay   close   enough   attention.   That’s   not   something   you   get   in   the   city.   But   Alice   wasn’t   a   𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐘   𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋,   and   Jason   wasn’t   a   𝘾𝙄𝙏𝙔   𝘽𝙊𝙔,   not   as   far   as   she   knew.

Looking   over   at   him   while   they   laid   beside   each   other   in   the   grass,   her   vision   was   overly   focused,   it   felt   almost   blurry.   Was   she   high   too?   Did   it   work?   She   couldn’t   tell,   she’d   never   tried.   But   she   hadn’t   felt   this   good,   maybe   ever,   𝒔𝒐   𝒊𝒕   𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒕’𝒗𝒆   𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆   𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈.

❝   I   feel   like   everything   is   happy   and   all...   All   tingly.   ❞   Alice   softly   says   while   she   continues   to   scan   him.   It   was   just   pot,   what   was   so   special   about   pot?   Not   much,   really,   but   for   someone   who   had   never   tried   it   before   until   now,   it   was   a   feeling   like   no   other.   It   was   her   very   own   paradise   in   A   SHITTY   TOWN   LIKE   HAWKINS.   She   was   walking   on   sunshine,   only,   she   wasn’t.   It   was   nighttime,   and   she   was   laying   down.

Huffing   out,   she   smiles   a   little.   It   was   a   genuine   smile,   you   could   tell   because   her   teeth   showed   just   a   little.   ❝   Like   how   you   feel   when   your   stomach...   Drops   on   a   rollercoaster.   But,   my   whole   body.   𝐷𝑜   𝑦𝑜𝑢   𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙   𝑖𝑡   𝑡𝑜𝑜 ?   ❞

@antibullyng​ 𝙻𝙴𝙵𝚃 𝙰 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙵𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽 : ‘  do  we  simply  stare  at  what’s  horrible  and  forgive  it ?  ’

Fire   in   front   of   them   crackles,   the   only   thing   to   light   up   𝒈𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒚   𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒆   𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔.   The   winter   cold   nipped   at   the   back   of   necks,   but   the   their   faces   were   heated   up   with   stinging   heat   by   that   very   same   fire.   The   feeling   made   the   tips   of   her   nails   heat   up   and   even   burn,   but   she’d   prefer   that   over   hypothermia.   Oh,   the   things   that   she   did   for   a   mission.   𝑯𝒆𝒍𝒍,   the   cold   was   the   least   of   their   problems   though.   It   was   all   about   staying   alive,   and   hopefully   they’d   𝙲𝙰𝚃𝙲𝙷   𝚃𝙷𝙴   𝙱𝙴𝚁𝙻𝙸𝙽   𝚃𝚁𝙰𝙸𝙽   tomorrow.   Or,   in   a   few   hours,   really.

❝   It’s   what   we’re   taught   to   do   ❞   She   says   softly,   eyes   not   averting   from   the   mesmerizing   colors   in   front   of   her,   ❝   Forgiveness   is   good.   I   think.   But   I   don’t   think   we   should   have   to   forgive   atrocious   crimes.   Personal   injustices.   Any   of   it.      ❞

She   looks   up   to   the   woods   in   front   of   them.   They   were   surrounded   by   trees,   snow...   Winter   nights   out   here   could   be   unforgiving   if   you   weren’t   alert   and   prepared.   ❝   Free   will   exists   for   a   reason.   I   don’t   know   about   you,   but   I   fully   intend   on   using   it   to   say   ‘𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊   𝐘𝐎𝐔’   to   anyone   who   tries   to   tell   me   what   I   should   and   shouldn’t   let   slide.   ❞

@killerxquccn​​ 𝙻𝙴𝙵𝚃 𝙰 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙵𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽 : ‘  why stay if you hate it so much?  ’

❝             𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘓   𝘎𝘌𝘌,   𝐵𝑎𝑟𝑏𝑖𝑒,   if   only   I’d   have   thought   of   leaving!             ❞   Alice   sarcastically   says   to   the   blonde   at   her   side   while   they   both   peered   over   the   counter   they   were   hiding   behind.   Loud   clanking   and   clanging   could   be   heard   from   across   the   room,   AN   ENEMY   rummaging   violently   through   the   room   in   search   of   the   two.   It   was   a   surprise   he   couldn’t   smell   them...   But   beggars   can’t   be   choosers,   and   Alice   wasn’t   one   to   complain.

Jumping   slightly   at   the   even   louder   banging   as   items   were   loudly   dropped   to   the   floor,   she   glances   over   at   the   other   girl   before   ducking   back   down   to   hide.

❝             Is   this   really   a   conversation   we   need   to   be   having   right   now?             ❞

it was rare for bucky to find someone he could be open with. of course there was sam and steve and maybe a handful fo the other avengers and heroes but bucky didn’t feel like he knew them. like they would get his story. growing up in the forties had been different and no book or show or lifetime movie would explain the feeling of shift of time, the concept of immortality was nice until you lived it.

he sighed, hand running down his face unable to make eye contact with her. the only thing he could really focus on was her fingers on his metal arm, pale skin against shinny silver. most people tended to ignore, heck bucky liked to pretend it wasn’t attached to him most of the time. but it became harder and harder, to the point that he was recoiling from people touching it. he still wasn’t over that feeling, despite the constant therapy. but it helped that at least it was someone he knew that was touching him. “sometimes… when i first wake up i forget its there. i just think im normal, and then i can feel the pain and i’m reminded of what they made me into.”

𝑺𝒉𝒆  𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒅.  𝑮𝒐𝒅  𝒅𝒊𝒅  𝒔𝒉𝒆  𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘  𝒉𝒊𝒔  𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏.  The  memories  of  the  20th  century,  the  forties  to  be  more  specific.  Another  thing  they  had  in  common,  was  that  although  they  were  both  there  to  experience  the  world  shift  gears,  and  learn  to  live  during  a  war-time  effort,  they  both  perished  from  their  old  selves  at  the  very  height  of  the  decade.  At  times,  she  couldn’t  help  but  feel  like  she’d  missed  out  on  history  even  though  she’d  lived  through  it  all.  Maybe  not  lived....  LIVING  WAS  NOT  THE  SAME  AS  SURVIVING.  She  was  a  survivor,  but  at  times,  she’d  wished  she  hadn’t  been.

No,  Alice  would  never  know  how  Bucky  truly  felt  with  his  mechanical  prosthetic  limb.  What  it  felt  like  being  frozen  in  time  in  a  literal  sense,  or  to  be  wanted  by  the  entire  nation,  or  world  if  you  really  think  about  it.  All  she  could  do  is  try.

If  you’d  asked  her  what  she  missed  the  most,  it  was  the  inevitable:  a  future,  and  then  your  inevitable  death.  Mortals,  they  were  forced  to  live  life  to  the  fullest,  they  were  promised  a  future  filled  with  possibilities,  they  never  really  knew  what  life  would  bring  or  when  they’d  take  their  last  breath-  they  just  knew  death  was  a  guarantee,  so  why  not  live  your  life  with  no  regrets?  𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆  𝒘𝒂𝒔  𝒔𝒐  𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒕,  𝒊𝒇  𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚  𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒅  𝒉𝒂𝒅  𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆  𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆.  It  seemed  magical,  maybe  as  a  mortal  human.  She  knew  better  now.  She  would  always  be  just  this.  𝚂𝚝𝚞𝚌𝚔.  𝙵𝚛𝚘𝚣𝚎𝚗  𝚒𝚗  𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎.  A  future  that  wasn’t  her  own.  Not  the  one  she’d  have  picked  out  for  herself,  that’s  for  sure.

Eyes  don’t  move  to  look  up  at  his.  She  could  sense  it,  even  without  her  magic...  He  didn’t  want  the  eye  contact,  he  didn’t  want  that  awkward  social  pressure,  and  he  didn’t  want  her  to  have  a  loud  or  very  serious  reaction.  So,  she  kept  things  light  in  terms  of  her  speaking,  and  tried  to  make  the  atmosphere  feel  comfortable.  ❝  I  know  it’s  not  easy.  𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒  𝑖𝑡’𝑙𝑙  𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟  𝑏𝑒.  I  can’t  say.  I’ll  never  understand  what  they  put  you  through,  even  if  you  decided  to  tell  me  one  day.  I  could  nod,  pretend  to  understand  all  the  details  you  tell  me.  What  it  was  like  waking  up  for  the  first  time,  or  how  you  knew  the  old  you  was  gone...  But  I  wouldn’t  know,  NOT  TRULY.  ❞  She  starts,  eyes  focused  on  his  hand  and  hers,  knowing  staring  dead  into  his  soul  wouldn’t  be  the  most  fun  in  this  particular  scenario.  Fingers  continue  to  brush  against  his,  almost  in  a  comforting  manner,  though  she  was  sure  he  couldn’t  truly  feel  it  to  the  fullest  extent,  ❝  But...  I  know  you.  I  know  your  friends  know  you,  Steve  knew  you  before  all  of  this,  and  he  knows  you  now.  I  know  you  know  yourself  better  than  anyone  else.  I  know  what  they  made  you  do.  Not  all  of  it,  but  I  know  what  they  wanted,  I  do.  I  know  why  they  must  have  decided  to  pick  you,  and  why  they  changed  you,  and  put  this  arm  on  you.  ❞  she  continues  before  looking  up  to  him,  ❝  But  it  was  never  your  fault.  None  of  it.  You  never  would  have  done  it  on  your  own  free  will,  Bucky.  You’ve  lived  three  lives.  Before  the  war,  with  hydra,  and  now.  You’re  not  the  same  as  you  once  were.  𝚈𝙾𝚄'𝚁𝙴  𝙰  𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳  𝙼𝙰𝙽,  𝙰  𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳  𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙾𝙽.  You’ve  always  been  just  that.  Whether  or  not  this  is  connected  to  you.  It  doesn’t  define  you.  It  defines  the  ghost  of  you.  The  Winter  Soldier.  Hydra.  You’re  none  of  that.  Not  anymore.  ❞

there’s no easy way to say it, nor does steve harbor any qualms over speaking his mind whenever alice is around. so he says it, leaning over a rack of terribly dated blazers at the local thrift shop so that no one else can eavesdrop on their conversation.

“we gotta stalk my mom’s new boyfriend.”

steve is no stranger to being overprotective over those he cares about, and while he always has the best intentions, sometimes his methods are a little… extreme. “he’s coming over tomorrow night for this weird family dinner thing at her place but we need to get some intel on the bastard before then. he gives me the fucking creeps, alice. oh, and i already said i’m bringing you as my plus one to dinner, so buckle up. i’m thinking we slip some holy water in his drink just in case. no way is this dude normal.”

Color  her  stoked !  Though  Alice  had  always  been  a  bit  of  an  extreme  person,  to  put  things  lightly,  it  seems  that  the  last  few  years  have  only  geared  her  full  speed  in  that  direction.  So  while  a  teenage  Alice  may  have  𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑑  𝑡ℎ𝑒  𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑟  on  such  an  action,  she’d  at  least  have  asked  for  some  sort  of  background  info  before  diving  in  headfirst;  a  24  year-old  Alice  was  a  completely  different  story.

Eyebrows  perk  as  Steve  stands  a  little  straighter  so  she  could  see  him  over  the  blazer  rack.  Okay,  maybe  this  was  a  little  extreme.  BUT  WHO  WAS  SHE  TO  JUDGE ?  And  besides,  Alice  trusted  Steve’s  judgement.  If  his  mom  seemed  to  be  dating  a  wack-o,  whose  to  say  it  wasn’t  the  truth?

❝                  Me  and  family  dinner ?  That’ll  be  interesting                  ❞  Alice  attempts  to  lightly  joke  before  continuing,  ❝                  Alright  alright,  well  do  you  at  least  have  any  sort  of  information  on  this  guy?  Like  what  does  he  drive?  Maybe  we  can  tail  him  for  the  day  and  𝙱𝙻𝙴𝚂𝚂  𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝙵𝚄𝙲𝙺𝙴𝚁'𝚂  𝙳𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙺  to  see  if  he  foams  out  the  mouth  or  something.                  ❞