are u gonna give me kisses every five seconds or do u hate me
Noah Kahan

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@nightmare-siren
are u gonna give me kisses every five seconds or do u hate me

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Theย Titanoboa, is aย 48ft longย snake dating from aroundย 60-58million years ago. It hadย a rib cage 2ft wide, allowing it to eat whole crocodiles, and surrounding the ribcage were muscles so powerful thatย it could crush a rhino.ย Titanoboa was so big it couldnโt even spend long amounts of time on land, because the force of gravity acting on it would cause it to suffocate under its own weight.
Iโm so glad they arenโt around
omg me too. Iโm scared enough of 26 ft long anacondas. Iโm so happy Megalodons, those giant sharks, arenโt alive either
Praise natural selection
I remember watching Walking with Beasts or something similar, or some British tv show about evolution
The subject was something like a 12 foot long water scorpion
I was so startled by its sudden appearance and narration that I yelped: โ12 fucking feet?!?! ย Iโm fucking glad itโs extinct!โย
Dude, prehistory was home to some fuckingย TERRIFYINGย creatures. For some reason, everything back then was enormous and scary. Extinction doesnโt always have to be a bad thing!
And Poppy, what you saw was an arthropod known asย Pterygotus (it was actually featured in Walking With Monsters). Not only was it as big (or maybe even bigger) than your average human, it had a stinger the size of a lightbulb. REALLY glad that bugger isnโt around anymore.
Also, Megalodon deserves to be mention again, because just hearing its name makes me want to never be submerged in water ever again.
GOD, I HATE THIS POST. HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW THAT SHIT ISNโT STILL AROUND? LURKING? EVOLVING? WE DONโT. WE DONโT KNOW SHIT ABOUT SHIT DOWN THERE. THE OCEAN IS A PRIMEVAL HELLSCAPE NIGHTMARE AND WE ALL JUST DIP OUR STUPID FRAGILE UNPROTECTED FETUS BODIES AROUND THE EDGES OF IT LIKE THATโS NORMAL. FUCK THE OCEAN.
this is so relevant to my interestsย
It wasnโt just the predators. North Carolina was once home to giant ground slothsโฆ
THAT IS A GODDAMNED LEAF-EATING SLOTH.
Weโve got a skeleton of one of these fuckers at the museum downtown, and man, just being NEAR it is unsettling.
DONโT FORGET PREHISTORIC WHALES, SOME OF THOSE FUCKERS WERE TERRIFYING
AMBULOCETUSย WAS AMPHIBIOUS AND PRETTY BADASS
BASILOSAURUS WAS THIS GIANT REPTILIAN CETACEAN THAT PROBABLY SWAM LIKE A DUMB EEL BECAUSE OF ITS TINY FLUKES BUT THIS FUCKER WAS 60 FEET LONG AND AT THE TOP OF THE MARINE FOOD CHAIN
AND THEN THEREโS MY FAVORITE,ย ZYGOPHYSETER,ย WHICH WAS THIS HUGE EARLY SPERM WHALE THAT ATE SHARKS AND OTHER WHALES
IT WAS NOTHING BUT TEETH
The reason why the animals in the prehistoric times were so big was because there was much more oxygen in the atmosphere if I recall correctly. Because there was so much oxygen and so few carbon gasses, life on earth was able to grow to terrifying lengths and heights, donโt forget how giant the bugs were.
I have never seen so much prime nope in a single post
Also important to note that megalodon is theorized to still be alive,possibly living in the darkest depths of the ocean. They havenโt found signs of its extinction
scientists: โwe havenโt seen a megalodon in quite some time now, letโs just hope itโs exstinctโ
This whole post is my JAM not gonna lie I am fascinated by massive prehistoric animals

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When you've been traumatized in ways that made you question your worth, going through hard or stressful times in the future can make it harder for you to believe in your worth in the present. This is especially true if your present hardships activate past traumas. I'd just like to remind you that your worth is immeasurable and does not diminish even when you cannot see it. You have immense worth. You always did, and you have it still.
Awful awful terrible terrible brain

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how i feel about all those "q slur" people
Rainbow Velvet Couches (by request ๐ซ๐ณ๏ธโ๐)
i call to my children on christmas morning and they all snap their legs running down our ribcage stairs
the OSHA inspector takes one look at this and starts strangling the architect with his bare hands
Looking at this broke both of my ankles
Old Tumblr post layout with a lot of reblogs
egg slicer for people
tumblr might enjoy this one. humans are cognitively incapable of properly conceptualizing big numbers so itโs important to find other ways to think about just how much money the wealthy have.
Wealth inequality in the United States is out of control. Here we visualize the issue in a unique way.
today is a good day to respect and cherish trans women

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Boomer, fragile and ignorant:ย โMy wife is a demon (derogatory)โ
Me, powerful and wise:ย โMy wife is a demon (affectionately) (lustful) (longingly)โ
friendship breakups truly are not talked about enough. i feel like there's plenty of advice for how to deal with exes, but nearly none for how to recover from a very important friendship in your life ending. it hurts like hell. and if you were really attached to the person, it hurts just as much--if not even more. platonic love is no less profound than romantic love