Duality

“I see. Shima it is then.” That went much smoother than he originally thought it was going to be. It was good to know that this guy didn’t really care about whether or not someone called him by his name with honorifics. It told him a couple of things about Shima. Actually, this whole conversation did, but he wasn’t going to set anything into stone just yet. All he could think of was that he reminded Shintaro of Kano. They seem like they would’ve gotten along to some degree. At least, until Kano sought out his weak spots and prodded them until Shima lost his mind.

What a funny idea…

That thought had his heart beating a little faster. So much happened between him and Kano. Out of all his friends, he was probably the one he missed the most. Sure, he got along with Kido, Marry, and Seto just fine. Kano just, got to him differently. Not to mention everything that happened between them. However… thinking about it, he didn’t remember why they fought in the first place. He was sure it was something important, but… He couldn’t remember. That’s frustrating.

As he tries his best to remember what the reason was, his eyes turn red once again. Not that he could really tell. Out of everyone else, he had the hardest time controlling his own ability since he never really got to use it until the end of each loop. Sometimes, he never even used it. Wait, didn’t he meet the person who gave him his ability? The harder he thought about it, the more frustrated he got. All he could see in his mind was a body that looked to be scribbled out with a black marker. What the hell was the reason for that?

Hearing Shima speak again snaps him out of his thoughts and he mentally decides to shelf that for now, too. “Yeah, I get it.” His eyes shift back to brown within the second. When the other mentions how the people here can get weird, his mind flashes back to meeting Leo. That man surely was something else. Never before did he ever think he would meet a fellow composer that seemed to have completely lost his mind. Just remembering how cold it was that day was enough to make him shiver all over again. “Weird seems to be an understatement.”

Hopefully Leo was okay now and in good hands.

Shima explaining that he was a monk wasn’t really that strange, and he even cracks a small smile that lasts all of a millisecond when he does the mantra. It was slightly amusing that the man found it necessary to explain his whole situation when Shintaro really wouldn’t have questioned him on the matter. He was a monk? Neat. Not that he really knew what monks do, but that meant that, to some extent, Shima was a hard worker. Or, at least dedicated since he still considers himself one after coming here. “My family wanted me to become something big, but I ended up falling for composing. I wrote a few songs, but… Never posted them.” Had Ene not destroyed it, he would’ve uploaded it.

What a waste.

The last question drops on him like a bucket of cold water. No, he hadn’t realized his eyes were doing that and he sure as hell didn’t like the fact that it supposedly happened while they were talking. He remembers when he thought about his past and mentally slaps himself. Idiot! Shintaro closes his eyes and groans, reaching up to rub the bridge of his nose. God dammit. How was he supposed to explain why his eyes went red without sounding like he was lying? How can he just tell someone without sounding crazy? There was no way to explain it either without going into the nitty-gritty.

After a moment, he opens his eyes and drops his hand. “No, I wasn’t aware. But I know why.” No more thinking about his past, or any of his pasts, while out with anyone. That was a dangerous game to play. What if it happened and the wrong person saw it? They’d surely attack him! What a stupid thing to expose. At least Shima didn’t outright run in fear.

“I can explain, but I would rather not do so on the street where everyone can hear. Since you saw… and told me about you being a monk, I guess I can tell you about it. Just. It’s difficult to explain.” What an understatement. 

Honestly he was appreciative of the fact that he wasn’t the only one who had had strange encounters thus far, for it gave him a sense of unity: ‘you’ve seen strange shit, I’ve seen strange shit, let’s be friends’. Maybe not entirely, especially not when Renzou had full intentions of betraying Shintaro’s trust if it ever came down to it, but the sentiment still stood. Friends until they weren’t anymore, that was a good way to deal with people. Even then, even faced with betrayal, his own comrades had appeared stupidly intent to still trust in him, something which Renzou to this day still couldn’t quite conceive, but he supposed it made things a lot easier for him. 

On one hand Renzou was incredibly interested in hearing more about Shintaro’s supposed peculiar encounters, for at least he’d know what to prepare himself for (he didn’t doubt that there were weirder creatures out there than squid girl) but on the other hand, the matter of Shintaro’s eyes was much more pressing in his focus. Although he didn’t go around promoting himself as one, Renzou was quite the nagger and quite the person to stick his nose into other people’s business. He would be an incredibly bad spy if he didn’t go around snooping in other people’s secrets after all.

It did however amuse him slightly that his conversational partner didn’t find his supposed occupation weird in the slightest. He didn’t really tell people about his family business usually exactly because he didn’t want to seem uncool, but this guy just shrugged it off as though it was the most normal thing in the world. Taking his parents and older brothers into consideration, Renzou didn’t really look the part of a man of the cloth in comparison (Kinzou being the only exception to this rule, but that guy was an exception to every rule ever made) and he didn’t really feel like one either.

“Composin’ eh? That’s...” So normal. Good for Shintaro. Words trailing off, Renzou never finished his sentence, trying to imagine a world where he himself had time to sit down and do stuff like that. With both normal school and cram school he barely even had time to run around in the tails of girls vying for their affection, so he would never have time for something like that. Neither did he have the creative soul for it if he had to be honest. Renzou had however considered for a mere moment to pick up the guitar or something because chicks digged a man who could play, but that dream had been quelled after hearing Kin-nii perform his blasphemous act towards music. How Izumo had found that interesting, he still failed to comprehend.

Looking around, he had to conclude that there were indeed quite a few people around, and if Shintaro was about to let him in on some secret and didn’t want the world to hear it, then Renzou wasn’t one to tell him to stand here and burst it out in the middle of everything. Honestly he had been on his way to the bookstore to see if they had some of the magazines he enjoyed reading back at True Cross, but a quick glance at his wristband watch dictated that he might as well forget about that idea for the time being. Of course he could try and look at a convenience store, but the selection was usually much smaller in such places. Such a shame. He’d have to return another day.

“If yer sure, then come with me.” Giving Shintaro little time to consider, Renzou turned on his heels and walked back from whence he’d come, gesturing for the other boy to follow. “My apartment’s just ‘round the corner. I ain’t got a room mate or partner or whatever ya call ‘em yet so it’ll be completely empty. That good enough fer ya?”

Truly a stroke of genius there. Honestly having to invite a guy to his place as the first visitor was kind of depressing, but it’d have to do with how things turned out in the end. And it annoyed him, but he was curious about what Shintaro had to say. Perhaps, depending on the absurdity of the tale he was about to hear, he could return the favour and talk about his own exorcism career. The guy did make it sound like he was about to spill something pretty big after all, so maybe it was only fair. But on the other hand, maybe it would just make it seem like he didn’t believe in Shintaro. ‘Yeah, your story is cool and all, but did you know that demons exist and that we’re surrounded by them right now?’ Probably not the best course of action for someone who was about to spill his heart. This was really rather annoying.

It looked like the kid’s concerns had just melted away before her once the apology was given. Which was not unjustified, it wasn’t her fault he got a headache, so there was no reason to hold it against her. Shima seemed like a really nice guy, but there was the feeling that when she came into the conversation, he had an inkling regarding her (hence why he didn’t ask what she was like so many others did) and yet his responses to her statements seemed to be more and more confusing. It was like those old tv shows where they used misunderstandings between the characters to build drama or something.

So that age-old adage was true: the more she knew, the more she realized how ignorant she was. The ability to warp time and space itself would certainly explain how so many living humans were able to gather here, as well as octolings, androids, and whatever else happened to show up. But Shima was right, if such technology existed, why would it be used to bring random people here? There was no helping the boggled look she had when she spoke next. “I mean, yeah. You’re acting like you’ve never seen an octoling before, and I’ve never seen a human before I was dropped off here!” Smooth, Vanna. Though she was reluctant to clarify her earlier lie, out of fear that Shima would reject her, at least her present statement was nothing but fact.

Octoling? What the heck was an octoling? Certainly Renzou wasn’t a master at demonology, but he was pretty certain that he had never heard of such a species of demons before. The only octopoid demon he knew was the kraken, and after having an encounter with one he could say with absolute certainty that this girl was not one such. So maybe that theory on interdimensional travel wasn’t as far fetched as he had first assumed it to be. After all the keys he used as an exorcist sort of allowed the same form of travel, didn’t they? Just sort of. He still wasn’t aware of any way to cross past the borders of Assiah after all, but maybe, just maybe, it was possible for other realms aside from Assiah and Gehenna to exist. How absolutely fascinating. This conversation was getting more and more exciting, but of course he didn’t let as much show on his face.

How carefree did someone have to be to just lend an ear to someone that looked like he got hit and ran over by a bus? Granted, that mental thought in of itself made him cringe with distaste. Hibiya not only watched it happen to Hiyori, but he also ended up getting hit by one as well. … What a terrible memory. His eyes flicker red when those thoughts ran across his mind and once they were gone, his eyes fade back into brown.

“If it makes you feel better, I would have asked if you were alright if you looked like shit, too. But you don’t.”

Hearing his last name said out-loud jarred the NEET for a moment. Back home, no one called him that. It was always Shintaro because his sister was Kisaragi. At least, that’s what he was used to. Honorifics never bothered him, but his last name did. Guilt, remorse, and longing filled him all at once. Instead of letting that show on his face, he merely closed his eyes for a second to lock the emotions up in his small little box inside of his mind. That was a problem for another day. Missing his sister… He couldn’t think about her now. Maybe when no one was around to watch him break down.

“Shintaro. Please call me Shintaro,” The words left his mouth at the same time his eyes opened back up. It was obvious that he was somewhat bothered by hearing his name, but he wasn’t going to open that gate for anything or anyone. “I don’t really care for formalities… But if you do, I can call you Shima instead of Renzou?” That was the best way he could say ‘hey, I don’t want to talk about it’.

The whole honorific system was asinine when it came to getting to know people. Other people used them and he didn’t mind, and if someone wanted him to abide by them, he would. But for himself? No. Granted, the only people he knew back where he was from were just like him. They all had abilities. They all went through hell and got the abilities in return. It happened over and over and over again. His eyes change once again as he remembers every past loop he had to go through. Every August 15th. Every death, every person.

They all meant so much to him and he was probably never going to see any of them ever again. They all accepted him for the way he was. He understood that he wasn’t exactly the happiest person to be around, or the easiest. But they all loved him regardless. If he were to see any of them again, he’d probably break down in a fit of tears.

Shintaro’s eyes fade back to brown when Shima began talking again, bringing the NEET out of his thoughts. It was probably bad form to keep thinking about the past. Especially right now. This man had no idea who he was, what he knew, what he went through. None of that really mattered right now. Trying to figure out where he was and what he could do here should be his priority.

“Tokyo? That means you’re also from Japan. I’m from Kashiwa.” It was nice to find someone else that was from the same country he used to live in. Even if it wasn’t the same city, and he was grateful for that since his town was a target for terrorist attacks, it still felt like he wasn’t completely alone. However, even Shima didn’t know where this place was and that was a little disappointing to hear.

“You used the term spirited away…” Shintaro rubbed his chin and looked around, thinking about how he felt about the term. “It’s more like I’ve been through into an isekai game or show.” After the words left his mouth, he regret them. That easily outed part of his personality. Hopefully he wouldn’t come across as an absolute NEET. No matter where Ene had said before, he had changed. At least, he could talk to people easier now than before.

A light-hearted laughter left him at the suggestion that the situation could have been reversed, because Renzou genuinely doubted that this Shintaro character would even have noticed it if he was the one feeling like shit. Unless of course that was what he wanted to show. Having fooled even those who were closest to him for half a year, Renzou believed himself to be quite the master at showing only what he wanted other people to say -- which was honestly quite easy when people knew you as a carefree fool anyway. He felt as though there had only been one time before everything had gone down and the cat was out of the bag that he had slipped up and let his true feelings show, and that was in a genuine life or death situation.

He was no hero. He was not ready to sacrifice his own life for the greater good and never would be.

Somehow it seemed as though his conversational partner had something very abnormal happen to his eyes, but with just a blink it was gone again, and Renzou was left staring in wonder if he was just imagining things. Shaking his head to himself, he accepted the offer. “I mean, sure. Shintaro it is then. Honestly I don’t really care what ya call me in return: all my friends go with Shima and it’s only really my brothers ‘n my parents who call me by my first name ‘cause otherwise we’d all be Shima and that’d be very confusin’ yanno.”

Another laugh left him at the thought of his family, but if he had to be completely honest an outsider might found the Shima family confusing even when on a first name basis with them. Even with Take-nii no longer amongst the living, there were too many zous amongst the male part of the family -- and being the youngest of five brothers, Renzou had to admit it was overwhelming to keep track of everyone. If there was one thing his parents didn’t have it was naming sense -- or perhaps it was the disability to step away from the traditional naming sense that was in play here. His family could be painfully old fashioned sometimes.

Amidst his musings, Renzou’s glance yet again locked upon the other’s eyes, and this time there was no doubt about it. Squinting a bit, he had to wonder if it was even possible for irises to randomly change colour (he wasn’t exactly an expert on human biology but he definitely hadn’t heard about something like that before) and for a moment it passed his mind that Shintaro could be possessed by something. Only trouble was that Renzou had never seen this kind of possession before and that the other looked perfectly human otherwise, so such a thought was quickly dismissed. Shintaro himself didn’t seem to be aware of his situation either as he simply continued talking as if nothing had happened.

“Chiba prefecture, eh? That’s pretty close. Well I dunno if it’s close ta here, but ya get the gist. Gotta say though, it’s nice ta meet another Japanese person in here. People here are weird, man.” Crossing his arms behind his head, Renzou thought back to his encounters thus far, and had to admit that the most peculiar one was the talking squid. Still hadn’t completely coped after that. Probably never would entirely.

Unsurprisingly Shintaro found a way to reverse his words on him and Renzou figured he might have been a bit too casual in his expressions. Not that it mattered much. He had plenty of ways to hint at his profession without actually spilling it and explain himself out of situations like this. “Ah, that eh? Honestly it’s not that weird,” he began, scratching at his own nape, right below the ear. “Ya see, I’m kinda a monk. At least in trainin’.”

Realising that probably didn’t explain much, he chanted one of the few sutras he actually remembered, simply for display, complete with the hand movements and everything. ““Namu amida butsu” yanno?” A smile was still present on his visage, but it had somehow stiffened and become a bit more slanted in the edges. “Probably sounds really borin’ ‘n I can promise ya it is. But gotta do it yanno. Family duty ‘n all that jazz. My family are all monks so it’s always kinda been expected fer me ta become one too.”

Wait, somehow it had turned out to be him spilling his life story on a stranger instead of the other way around. Some kind of counsellor he made. But oh well, there was no harm done. The only thing he could really guess about the other was towards his hobbies, considering the used terminology. Renzou himself was more of a 3D guy. Waving a hand dismissively in front of himself Renzou continued: “That ain’t important though. There’s somethin’ I’m kinda interested in knowin’. I mean ya don’t have ta tell me if ya don’t wanna but...” How did he ask this without sounding crazy? Well, there was no real way to do that, was there?

That was weird. Did he come from a place where octolings lived alongside humans? Now it seemed really hypocritical to say that to him. Maybe humans there had really bad eyesight and the octolings camouflaged themselves more often. “Oh, don’t worry. Here I have no reason to hide from anyone. Like you said, the whole point is to meet new people!”

Vanna drew her hands into her lap, resting at the bottom of her sweater, as she settled in. It was pretty awkward, knowing she was the source of this guy’s discomfort and all. What could she say to make up for it? “Sorry for bothering you, I mean, I wanted to get to know you and all, but I didn’t mean for you to get a headache…”

Blanking for a moment, Renzou couldn’t help but wonder if they were really on the same wavelength here. As far as he knew demons didn’t really choose whether or not they were visible to the general populace: them remaining unseen until a person was exposed to temptaint was really just how things worked and there was no use in questioning that much. In a sense he was kind of intrigued -- Renzou had never had a conversation like this with Yamantaka before and wasn’t even aware if his own familiar was conscious of such self-reflecting questions as whether or not he wanted to be seen.

Oh, okay that would explain it. He’s just another human that was struck dumb by this weird city. Was she really the first nonhuman he met though? After all, she had seen a couple of strange beings around the city, in the school, even! If he was so shocked by her appearance, that probably meant he wasn’t a local then, right? This project brought them both to this place for a reason, whatever that was.

“Yeah, no. I’m not human at all. In fact, where I’m from, there’s hardly any humans at all!” A sweet lie was better than the hard truth. Outright telling him ‘your species has been extinct for thousands of years’ probably would have put him off his food anyway. “But aside from that, are you part of the project?”

The words ‘where I’m from’ seemed to strike more interest in him than the fact that his conversation so proudly declared herself to be nonhuman. He had understood already that this was not the Japan he was used to and that he was further from home than he had ever been before, but for a ‘where I’m from’ with barely any humans to exist to be around, it had to be some sort of parallel world or something. “Man, this is givin’ me a headache...” he unintentionally complained out loud.