fuck it dude, life's a risk

55.

We’re trying to convince ourselves that this broken down car older than either of us can handle it, that maybe this time it’ll be different-

65.

and I’m going too fast for this shitty little car or this shitty little street, this shitty little down or my shitty little life-

75.

and you’re in the passenger seat, head thrown back in laughter, your laugh that makes the world stop spinning, that laugh that could keep the sun from setting, that fucking laugh-

85.

and I’m so trapped in this moment that I can’t do anything. Can’t slow down, can’t stop, can’t tell you what this feels like-

95.

and the brakes are fucked, the engine is crying, the road is ending in front of us-

100.

You’re still laughing, and I’m laughing in spite of myself, but I’m so afraid, I’m holding the wheel so hard my knuckles go white, and there’s only one thing left to do-

110.

We leap from this speeding car, and in the moment before we both hit ground, everything stops. I can see the smile still crossing your lips, and I don’t know if you can hear me, but this is my chance to tell you everything I wouldn’t, everything I couldn’t-

Like how I’m jealous of the sun for getting to kiss your skin when I can’t, how the color of your eyes reminds me of the storm that we always create, how the smell of your perfume is home to me, that I don’t remember what it feels like to kiss you anymore, that there was no point in trying to fix something that was so fucking broken from the start, but-

0.

DONT LET ME DIE HERE