idk

I’m actually really insecure. I feel like I’m always gonna fuck things up or people will lose interest in me cause I’m too clingy or too passionate or too much of some other trait that bothers them

*gets addicted to literally anything that distracts me from the fact i exist*

i like to pretend i’m a heartless apathetic b*tch but in reality i’m a baby who cares a fucking lot and emotionally invests myself in everything and is hurt 98.3% of the time

if u miss me just call me

Or text me, or Snapchat me, fucken try damn it

man like. being lgbt kind of ruins time with relatives in a very specific way that cishets will never truly experience. like family time can be rough tm but theres a special brand of discomfort that lgbt people face and it’s kinda wild

It’s the specific feeling of “these people’s love is entirely conditional, and I know exactly what the conditions are, and one day I’m gonna have to bite the bullet and come out and none of these people will love me anymore”. It’s not a feeling cishet ppl experience for obvious reasons.

Even with family that Accepts You tm, theres always this level of “I can only talk about being gay so much before it gets Uncomfortable. I cant actually talk about dating bc someone will look like they ate a raw lemon whole eventually until I’m told I’m oversharing and then conversation will turn to Perfect Cousin with her Perfect Husband and When Are We Going To See Babies? Are they trying? How often? And just….its annoying that it still has to be Rough tm when u do come out and for the most part ur still loved an accepted, but u cant actually talk about it too much, even in the sense of Finding Someone or Boo Evil Politics bc ppl will STILL get visibly uncomfortable

also when you’re trans, you get the We Love You And Accept You ™️, but they still misgender you like every sentence and if you have the audacity to remind them of your correct pronouns, then you’re Attacking Them, no matter how gently you point it out

imagine not hating yourself

well, well, well, if it isn’t the feelings i’ve been trying to avoid