Think one of my biggest struggles that I've only realized recently is my lack of a solidified identity. Its the reason I love to see myself in characters like me, or desperately seek that. I know the root of happiness is on the personal level, I try to disregard what other people think. But I'm always kind of changing, I feel like the person I was a year ago is someone I don't connect or resonate with as much as I should, even more so as you go farther. And that kind of goes for my current self, I really do admire the person I am to some extent, of course there are times where that cant be said, but it's hard for me to pinpoint the good and bad. I try to connect with everything and be every version of myself, doing the right thing. But it's hard. I want an established identity.
This is probably a root cause of my anxiety, which is less from a social fear as it's there when I'm alone, and when I'm feeling good and confident in myself it fades. But from a lack of self-confidence in my personality, actions, behavior, whatever.
There's an obsession with truth, every word I speak being what my soul approves, every action. I start to spiral when little by little I disapprove of myself, an emotional takeover.
