Nic

i started thinking about canon fyolai again. Ive been au pilled most of the summer but ough. Canon hurts me in a way i cant explain. Like now that fyodor is dead genuinely what is nikolai supposed to do?? Fyodor was his purpose in life and as a character and now that hes dead, now what? Is he gonna actually kill himself? Asagiri confirmed hes gonna come back but for what? Fyodor’s last words to nikolai were “for now, im going to rub you out for trying to kill me.” But hes dead now. He told nikolai that after all of this he was going to kill him, but fyodor is dead. Nikolai is practically the only decay of the angel member left, sigma is asleep for who knows how many years (i estimate fyodor to be around 2,000 years old because in an interview or something asagiri said to describe dazai it would be like putting a 2000 year old being inside a 22 year old human, and sense they have equal intelligence i would assume fyodor to be around that age) so sigma could be asleep for decades, even fyodor himself said sigma may never wake again. So that just leaves nikolai, someone who could become an insane threat to the detective agency if he decided to become one. Which wouldn’t surprise me, because dazai was the one who made the plan to kill fyodor, so perhaps he wants revenge. But that also doesnt seem very in character for him, cos he wants to be as detached from his emotions as possible so it isnt like him to seek revenge. My best guess is that he will become and empty shell of a person. Because thats what he wanted, right? He wanted to be free from everything that made him human, if he doesnt end up killing himself then he will become a corpse that still lives. Dead while still alive. Because his purpose, his friend, the only one who understood him is gone, and theres nothing more for him to live for.