Murdoc Niccals

This is Murdoc.

I'll be using some tags from now on.

#murdoc says things = the tag that I use when I say things. Obviously.

#murdoc reblogs things = the tag I use when I reblog things.

#murdoc gets asks = the tag for all the asks I get.

#murdoc shitposts = shitposts. (No longer in use, I'm merging this with the -says things tag.)

Err. Well. That's it I suppose. Goodbye.

Oh, hey, you're quite a funny-looking fella. Ate too much cabbage and greens? And the nose is... quite something. You remind me a bit of John, if John was old, green and boring.

@paulmaccartney

OLD, GREEN AND BORING? Oh, lad, you're gonna get it. When I finally get that multiverse-travel machine working.

How much? What do I need to do? I'm sick of spending my Friday nights on discord.

What's the best pick up lines? What's your go to? How do you woo them and get them weak at the knees?

Hounding me for my secrets now, are we? You filthy little buggers. I won't just be giving out a free masterclass to anyone who asks. I can give a few tiny tips, though. You can figure it out from there.

Don't get handsy right away - they don't like that very much. If you play your cards right, you might end up with more than one on your lap. But don't touch. Instead, you let them touch. Let them admire you all they like. You only touch once they're sweaty and worked up in your bed.

Go for the loudest ones. The more they yell, the less they'll tell, I say. Not in a bad way - they'll just remember less. The drunker they are, the less embarrassed they'll be, and the more they'll do for ya while most likely not even remembering a single thing in the morning. Comes with the catch of possibly grabbing a fesity one, though. Watch out for their attitude in the morning.

Now, don't tell Noodle I told you this- but getting absolutely pissed sometimes gives you that little extra bit of liquid courage you need. Far as I know, the lasses love a bit of raunchy, intoxicated sexiness. Shed the shirt, yell a slur, impress them with how much you dare to do in a public space. If they're alright, they'll stick around.