the guy who made the hardware store cat edit

i have been informed by literally every french speaker on earth that “une pipe” is slang for blowjob

An ant was spotted chewing a seed below decks on the night of June 12th, 1809. 200 sailors died of fright

sometimes you have to knock on the table to trick your mind into thinking someone's at the door for no reason

it’s kind of crazy that “he has a sadness in his eyes you only see in Eastern European gay porn” took off, because the joke is, like, exclusively about people being sexually exploited due to miserable economic conditions.

Unfortunately to the majority of this site Eastern Europe is not actually a real place full of actual human beings, instead a vague concept where everything's grey and miserable and (to the slightly less ignorant) full of violent ethnic tensions, and if you try to explain why that's the popular Western conception of the place and why things got so miserable from the late 80s onward they'll just call you a tankie

there are songs i hear and go “man there is no way anyone actually listens to this” and then you hear it on the radio 300 times a day and the album is nominated for a grammy and there are fans who spend every dollar they have on merch and concert tickets to sold out stadiums of people who all love that song. and you wonder if maybe you’re the one who’s wrong but then you hear it again and decide that nope, you’re right and everyone else has lost their minds

music not hitting, phone not hitting, Minecraft not hitting, food not hitting, mouth taste like blood, death comes for us all

*drink’s a delishes coffy.* *drink’s a delishes coffy.* *drink’s a delishes coffy.* *dri

im glad we're in the internet backwaters i think if dove chocolate or something replied to my post i would just keep reporting them for terorism again and again and again

love the word fruitless. arguing with you is like if there was no apples involved whatsoever

you're bountiless you stupid bitch

a lot of those "feel old yet?" type posts don't really surprise me, but for some reason i feel differently about things i experienced as an adult vs. things i experienced as a kid. "shrek is 25 years old" checks out just fine to me. i'm 30 and i probably saw it when i was 5. makes sense. "fortnite is almost 10 years old" hits a little different though