This is no Bridget Jones

*walking past a church*

Child: *points at a large wooden crucifix replica out front* who is that?

Me: uh, that's...Jesus...

Child: who is he?

Me: well, in the Christian religion he is regarded as the son of God

Child: is he real?

Me: *internally screaming FUUUUUUCCCKKKK* um, that's a good question. Evidence suggests there was in fact a historical personage who once lived and that we now know as Jesus. How closely his life resembled the events written in the bible is somewhat unknown, and largely a matter of belief, I suppose, although what isn't, really?

Child: *long pause* okay.

Child: *points at the statue again* Is he real?

Me: oh. OHH. You mean like, is that a real body???

Child: yes