💧 all torn up 💧

(note: it’s safe to assume all these fics are nc-17 unless otherwise stated)

***

a sense of touch by liketheroad (16,000, rated PG)

from the very beginning, slowly at first but always steadily growing towards more, they touched. so much and eventually so without thought that they never had to wonder why it felt wrong when they didn’t, because that itself happened so infrequently.

(this is so so lovely it makes me cry tbh. canon compliant and delicate and wonderful)

all in by fictionalaspect (8000)

"last person still in wins the pot," jon says. he finishes with a flourish, folding up his two pieces of paper and dropping them on top of the folded twenty at the bottom of their empty weed jar.

brendon pushes his hair out of his eyes, bites his lip, and stares at his two scraps of paper. he writes the first two things that come to mind.

(well written, well read, well loved. brendon gets rimmed, ryan wears lingerie, we’re all happy)

be(side) the sea by liketheroad (21,000, rated T)

ryan and spencer grow up on a lonely island by the sea, two against the world, and then comes jon walker to make it three.

(and then brendon arrives too! this is so sad in places but exceptionally pretty in others and i just really really like it)

burn up in love love love by dsudis (12,000)

miss you miss you miss you

(who knew jon getting gang banged could be so sweet??)

circus verse by mokuyoubi (38,000 altogether)

spencer and ryan are part of pete's travelling circus. jon and brendon come for the show, but there's something about the place that keeps them coming back for more.

(this is ryan/brendon and jon/spencer in the first part, but it’s so good and i love the idea of this au tbh)

clearly aware of the stars by jenish (18,000)

(bby!brendon has a huge crush on jon, so spencer and ryan decide to, ahem, help him out. aka cute tiny gay boys having feelings)

different names for the same thing by liketheroad (24,000, rated PG)

wherein ryan, spencer, brendon and jon live in a house in chicago and go to school and work and make waffles and have misunderstandings and fall in love. also wherein tom conrad is kind of magic.

(i love everything this author writes to be honest, but this and the other 2 fics by them on here are just so cute and awesome and everything i love about polypanic)

discussion of children at prayer (divine in accepting your defeat) by ignite_it (4500)

in which ryan, spencer and brendon died before they could live forever, pete is ruthless and possibly crazy, the world might be ending, and jon walker just wants his family back. (sad and far-fetched, but it made me cry so it belongs on this list)

every turn a surprise by mixtapestar (56,000)

when brendon is 10 years old, weird things start happening. he quickly discovers his ability to read minds, and then he spends several years at the academy, learning how to control it. after he is forced to run away to avoid being drafted for his ability, he gets hired onto a spaceship, where he meets spencer, ryan, and jon. things just get crazier from there, especially when he starts to fall in love with more than one of his coworkers.

(considering the length, the plot is kind of underdeveloped in places, but still - space au ot4!!! with superpowers!!!)

find what you need by lady_deathangel (5000)

(this was written for a bottom!jon meme and it actually has a bit of a plot. what more needs to be said)

four men and a little cabin by gigantic (9000)

unrelated, non-linear scenes from a recording cabin

(i constantly thank god for cabin fic)

from countess to cabin boy by formerlydf (35,000)

to be fair, brendon never truly intends to join the crew of a pirate ship. It just sort of... happens. she's sitting at a table in the corner, sipping her water and trying to figure out where to go next, when a boy about her age sits down at the table with her. "have you ever considered a life of action and adventure on the high seas?" he asks her cheerfully. brendon stares at him. she also stares at his hair — at least, she thinks it's his hair. It could be some sort of weird, hair-like hat gone terribly, terribly wrong. "um. what?"

(pirate au!! is it kind of ridiculous? yes. is the genderswap awkward and/or offensive? surprisingly not! overall p adorable tbh)

high school verse 1 and 2 by softlyforgotten (38,000 altogether, rated T)

(the reigning monarch of high school aus writes more high school au. the first part is mostly vicky/greta, but seriously this entire thing is so good and the polypanic in both parts is so well done i love it a lot)

(i’ll be) the only thing between you and the stars by mokuyoubi (68,000)

pete likes to be the admiral of the fleet in his free time, the cobra is after the academy, the helena is after the cobra, and brendon gets caught in the middle, leaving it up to spencer, jon and ryan to come to his rescue. oh yeah. star trek au.

(*bangs on table* star trek au!! star trek au!!! star! trek!! au!!!! amazing tbh)

the less specific i become by notamagnet (21,000)

brendon was found wandering the desert when he was two and was later adopted by the uries. he’s never felt as though he fits in with them, but he loves them regardless. everywhere he goes he can’t help but wonder if he’s passing someone who knows what happened to him. one day on tour, he meets someone who does.

(brendon is adopted and his real dad is the president???? idek man but there’s just something about this fic that i really, really like)

let each who is worthy by mokuyoubi (86,000)

“it was probably just some shitty band, you know? i mean, how many high school bands ever go anywhere, what are the odds? but i still can’t help wondering how things might have been different, if i’d joined them. like. that was a bad time for me, and what if i had found a place where i fit in? where would i be now?"

brendon has his religious crisis but never meets panic! and goes away on his mission after high school.

(hugely long and ambitious considering, but it still works and it’s kind of amazing. absolutely worth a read)

one more than three by cynthia_arrow (9000)

"i think i want to have sex with ryan ross," jon says as he spills across the threshold.

to his credit, gabe doesn't laugh, doesn't even so much as smirk.

(brendonryanspencer are together, jon is sad and wants in, and gabe is actually a very good friend)

panic! at the discworld by imperfectcircle (+ podfic by reena_jenkins) (5000, rated G)

brendon came from a tiny farm in the ramtop mountains half a cow and two acorns short of being a hovel, and had assumed the city of ankh-morpork would be similar in size and variety to the kingdom of lancre. it might even be smaller, he had supposed, because lancre -- that huddled collection of villages, mountains and goats -- was a kingdom, whereas ankh-morpork was merely a city.

this was much like using height to deduce that a baby made less mess than a hat stand, and tended to have the same effect on one's shoes.

(oh man this fic THIS FIC. 100% as good as it sounds, it captures pterry’s voice perfectly, it features otto!!!, and it is just so fucking great i cry. podfic is a++ as well)

so tonight that we might see by softlyforgotten (32,000)

adventures and reunions of a spacely sort.

(more spaceship aus!!! okay ngl this fic p much broke my heart but i love it very dearly and there’s a happy ending i promise!!)

(songs about fighting for boys who don’t fight) by jae (17,000)

right when jon was joining, william had said to him, “you know, they’re a - tight-knit bunch.

(new beginnings are hard to navigate, and ryan is a little bitch (as per usual). jon centric and wonderful if painful)

spyro! by solarcat (9000)

in which spencer smith is a small, purple dragon, ryan ross makes magical scarves, brendon urie writes songs about lonely manticores, and jon walker is magic!

(okay so part of me can’t even believe i’m even putting this in this list, but i couldn’t not do it. it’s ridiculous, it’s hilarious, but it’s also well written and it’s sure as hell original!)

that’s what he said by cyclogenesis (23,000)

truckstops and statelines and boyfriends, etc.

(okay so this is, to be truthfully honest, mostly just smut, but it is smut that is very important from me. take it from rosie, i never shut up about this fic)

there’s no ‘i’ in ryan ross by jzbell (9500)

jon walker attempts the impossible: to make the gayest band on the planet even gayer.

(group sex as organised by jwalk - what’s not to love?)

triangulation and other games of numbers by redsnake05 (24,000)

spencer doesn't think he should believe mike or tom, at first, but he finds himself wanting to trust them. when he finds out what they've really been doing, he's lucky to also find something else that he actually can trust in. (features various permutations of tom conrad/mike carden/spencer, but ultimately a great polypanic fic about trust and boundaries. and sex. obviously)

the way you make me feel (it knocks me off my feet) by dishonestdreams (9000)

jon doesn't know how he ever got by without this. without them. (i’m not super down for dom!ryan but i am incredibly down for sub!jon so there we have it. also v well written)

***

never quite like this by wardo_wedidit (markwardo, 3000)

girls are not meant to fight dirty (never look a day past thirty) by roaroftheninth (markwardo, 9000)

call me (any, anytime) by aqualined (markwardo, 15,000)

missing transition by innusiq (markwardo, 20,000)

sweet invention of a lover’s dream and podfic by hapakitsune and read by knight_tracer (markwardo, 4400)

stars forever by justbreathe80 (markwardo, 18,000) 

you could dress this wound (this is my absolute favourite fic omfg) by myownremedy (markwardo, 31,000)

in which mark witnesses terrible things and dustin enforces the roommate pact by roaroftheninth (because she’s awesome okay)(markwardo, 3100)

five happy endings mark and eduardo never had (and one they did)by pendules (markwardo, 4400)

every king has his throne by robpat (markwardo, 18,000)

(like catching) sunlight in a jar by laliandra (amy/dustin and side markwardo, 8300)

the derivative of a constant is zero read by daisysusan (markwardo podfic)

the shortest distance between two points by yaseanne (markwardo, 3400)