They Say That Love Is Forever

“If flowers can grow through blankets of melting snow, there is hope for me.”

“We often want it so badly that we ruin it before it begins. Overthinking. Fantasizing. Imagining. Expecting. Worrying. Doubting. Just let it naturally evolve.”

I was so angry. Not because we’d ended, or because things hadn’t worked out the way I’d hoped. I wasn’t angry because I loved him so much that I’d given up half of my dreams for him. It wasn’t even because he’d tainted every memory I had, every ounce of happiness I’d allowed myself - not because he’d taken the light and cast shadows everywhere. I was angry because I’d tried so hard to make things work. Because I’d given so much of myself to something that must have been doomed from the start. I was angry because I’d allowed myself to love a person who would never have understood that love. I was angry because I’d broken my own heart.

You come up with all of these scenarios in your head and they drive you mad. But the truth is they’re all an extension of the same thing: you want someone and they don’t want you back.

It was words that I fell for. In the end, it was words that broke my heart.

With or without him, you know you’re going to be fine, but I get it… had it been up to you, you’d have preferred to be just fine, with him.

She was wrapped in a blanket of petals, surrounded by thorns— a soft beautiful heart guarded by strong walls.

maybe this is it. the story ends here the ink is used up you can no longer write even though you aren’t nearly  finished and even if there’s still so much paper left

I think a lot about moments. Your whole life can change in a second, but you might not remember it the next day. Everything I am, I am because of a few moments, scattered over the years, and I don’t know which ones are important. I may not even remember them. That’s some sort of cosmic injustice, isn’t it? That I can forget the things that make me who I am, but I’m still trapped as myself.

I feel strange today. I don’t like it much. It’s foggy outside. The whole world is blue-tinged white and dirty snow. I can see my breath and it scared me at first because I had forgotten I was still alive. The earth is spinning and I swear I can feel it. My head is spinning and I don’t know why. I think everyone would forget about me if I walked outside and didn’t come back. The fog makes me want to disappear.