The Second Shelf to the Right

straight people: *makes literally hating your spouse a cultural norm* straight people: gays are ruining marriage

I didn’t know this shit got so many notes also the straights are so mad in the comments lmfao

theres a foreign object in her large and small intestine and in taking the x ray to find that out they found out her hip is displaced pls donate if u can i had to leave her there until they call me back

the surgery to fix her hip will cost 2500 dollars. please keep sharing this she’s limping and needs to have it soon. im calling around to try and find the lowest cost in my area but its all around the same. im disabled and was deemed unfit to work by my therapist but im trying anyway cause i need to help my service animal but im not getting any call backs. please dont send me hate im doing everything i can. please keep sharing this

true

also when i say sirius black is a drama queen what i actually mean is that sirius black had an abusive childhood with awful, bigoted parents, lived through and fought in the first wizarding war, lost two of his closest friends was betrayed by a third and seperated from the fourth, spent 12 years in a cell being forced to relive all of his worst memories, before escaping prison only find himself in the midst of another war and being forced into his abusive childhood home whilst suffering from depression/ptsd and generally he brushed everything off and acted like he didn’t give a damn (maybe he broke down once/twice in front of james bc it was james so he could) but generally he internalized shit and did not make a big deal out of things he would be perfectly entitled to make a big deal out of…. but at the same time he would wax poetic for two hours about the bitter sting of betrayal after remus stole his eggs at breakfast

*Slams fist on table* I’ve been on this website for three and a half years and I’ve never seen such a perfect post about Sirius Black.

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. the heroes are always sprinting, always running. you ever seen darth vader run? hell no. and I ain’t about to either.

My favorite part about that line is that it implies that Gilderoy Lockhart was a more competent teacher than Dolores Umbridge. And that may be the biggest insult in the entire series.

this remains one of my favorite posts of all time

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but stickers on books will be the end of me.

social media aus make everything better lmao literally imagine the harry potter books + social media. second year someone snapchats a picture of literal death threats written on the walls in blood captioned ‘’hogwarts its the safest place in the world’ lmao bitch where??’ fourth year #potterstinks is trending locally on twitter. sixth year story gets out about harry’s conversation with snape and everybody in the gryffindor group chat changes their name to ‘roonil wazlib’ for a week. draco bitching about harry on yik yak as if the entire school doesn’t know for a fact its him. 

Out of nowhere people start getting followed by someone called @Thesiriusblack on instagram and all it has is a “surprise bitch, I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me” meme

the wizarding schools around the world compete to see which does the best harlem shake

My ‘to be read’ list is longer than my life expectancy