Jam Tomorrow, Jam Yesterday

"I heard that Connor was doing Saturday Night Live, and that's when I texted you "oh I know where you're going!" and then bam you popped up."

The way it feels so natural, so obvious, even for his (former) teacher, that, of course, Hudson was gonna be present for Connor's big day on SNL, it's quite telling really. Because of course, they are meant to be side by side. Like there's no other possibilities.

And so next to that, the confirmation that, Hudson pushed everything aside, as he was filming at the time, and even had (apparently) a podcast scheduled, just to make sure he was there for Connor. To quote his own words "he had to be there for him". He probably didn't even question anything, this was the priority. And he will always be the priority. That is true commitment, that is true love.

I have been seeking a way to describe what I (and I suspect many of us) feel when looking at Hudcon. Why we are always so enchanted and mesmerized by seeing Hudson and Connor together. And not just us - people in their real life including celebrities who encounter them. What is it about them?

My proposed response is going to draw from some of my educational training which was adjacent to my faith tradition. No worries if you need to scroll away, but I promise this is more historical, philosophical, and eschatological in nature and expansive rather than judgy and restrictive.

I have been cooking this post for days. You can take the girl out of the Dominican university but the worldview that we are all connected and yearning for something bigger than ourselves? Never fades.

The Transcendentals - blending Greek philosophy with scholastic theology of the high Middle Ages

I won’t go too deeply into in, but the Transcendentals - often cited as “the Good, the True, the Beautiful” — are considered properties of being that extended into the metaphysical, supernatural world. Things that are good, true (authentic or genuine), and beautiful appeal to us because their contemplation allows us to see something beyond ourselves - universal unity, harmony, peace. Things for which we all long and for which we are made.

Seeing Hudcon together and the love they have for each other? Is seeing something wonderful, genuine, gorgeous. It is irresistible as a result.

Why we had such whiplash in July

July was a study of contrasts, wasn’t it? Certain parts had me wanting to look away with all my might, and had me frustrated because the opposite appeared to be on display with Hudson while Connor was MIA

What I said at the time

When Paris photos dropped and Ohana was in Greece on July 16th, here is what I wrote about my frustration with the ugly, inauthentic, and fraught content we had seen.

“Where is the art created by the artist we all love? I don’t mean the usual obscure glimpses of art found in galleries that are in the insta drop — I will evaluate those later — but Hudson’s art?

It is very performative.

Once again, all the stuff that is most important: the actual creative work and relationships that matter most, are not on display. I observe that too.”

@holls24 added:

“The best move for Hudson, right now, would be to actually let him live his life and prioritize his work. We’re here because we love him as a person, but we also love him as an artist, a creator, a performer. And the more they move to shove this personal life bullshit in front of us, the more they move the attention of his millions of fans onto that instead.

What I will end this with mirrors OP’s last point: all we ever see are the same merry band of clowns running around. Hudson has an entire life we’re not seeing at all.”

https://www.tumblr.com/this-daydream-is-dangerous-13/822310274005712896/reblogging-my-own-post-bc-holls24-deserves

And on July 19th, I was begging to see LESS of Hudson.

“I am a devoted, ardent Hudson Williams enthusiast (don’t come for me bc I also love Connor but I have an ever so slight preference). And this seemingly endless, performative 🎪 has me hoping desperately to see less of him. Or of this particular version/facet of him.

I genuinely did not imagine that possibility. And it has little to do with his travel companions.

He looks unhappy and exhausted a lot. He is acting in ways that are inconsistent with the very thing that appealed to me (and many of us) in the first place.

Hudson’s authenticity, frankness, and wit were and are so attractive. And I can look forward to any role or any art he produces because I am a fan of his mind and his talent.

In much of the content from this trip he seems to be playing a weird version of “Hudson Williams” and I find it wildly unappealing.

It’s incongruous with the way he behaves in other settings. And it is poorly done.

JFC - can we talk about his actual art please? Or the things that inspire him creatively?

One of which he has told us repeatedly is Connor Storrie.”

https://www.tumblr.com/this-daydream-is-dangerous-13/822585564340617216/was-this-the-desired-outcome-wanting-fans-to

And then, a shift

Things improved in Seoul. The work and meetings seemed to intensify and he was weary, but his behaviour was much more consistent, and he seemed happier and more at ease. Sunny’s presence (and that of other family) seemed to fortify him despite the jet lag, and the team members seemed to have a better time too.

And then Hudson rushed to Toronto and Connor.

And we began to see photographic evidence of what we have always, always seen when they are together: delight, affection, focus, devotion, care.

They are living life. Walking around the grimy, humid, congested streets of Toronto in late July/early August. Going to the gym, getting take out, going to dinner and a movie. and buying Gatorade and paper towels.

And it is mesmerizing us more than anything we saw in the City of Light or on sailboats circling an idyllic Grecian island.

Because it is real, lovely, authentic. Their relationship is real, lovely, and authentic. They are giving us glimpses of something rare and precious and powerful.

The photos are out there. We are all looking at them. They know what they are about and it's time we all stopped infantilising them about it. If they want to fly under the radar, they are perfectly capable of doing so. They are choosing not to.