Network Rail: We run, look after, and improve Britain's railway

ticket inspectors will once again not be receiving invites to my birthday party this year. you know what you did

i think most trains would love a soft fluffy blanket

just one more redesign. surely one more redesign will cut costs. surely if we redesigned the railway currently mid construction to be slower it would cut costs right. surely if we alter the specs for the trains we already ordered we'll save money. surely if we downgrade the signalling system and upgrade it later it'll cost less. just one more redesign trust.

in the quiet carriage, no one can hear you scream

That would compete with @network-rail’s transatlantic railway…

No the option of some sort of watercraft was ruled out (though a transatlantic hovercraft would be very cool)

me: ugh i'm yearning so much surely there's some stupid post about kissing trains i could make about this angelic class 377 descending above me from the heavens: *crushes me into a fine paste as it crashes into the ground*

each time a train is built they smash a bottle of whatever the cheapest pint at spoons is over her (like ships get with champagne). this is for good luck but so far has just led to an understanding that trains don't like beer

really, if you think about it, the modernisation of british rail was perfect actually. this is because it created the class 37.

Dr Beeching? the physics PHD holder and small arms designer? what could he possibly have to do with the railways.

station staff don't respond to reports about girls making out with trains it's both normal and allowed

ME: hold up. you see that? train's been through here FRIEND: how can you tell ME: tracks. they're not fresh, maybe 60, 80 years old FRIEND: no chance it'll come back, then ME: don't be so sure. That's well within their lifespan... and they're highly territorial

@network-rail

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It should never be about those

i think someone is forgetting about the class 99's

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