♕ RISE & SURVIVE ♕

    Burn his clothes? That seemed excessive to him. Especially if anyone found the remnants and questioned why there was charred clothing in camp. But he says nothing. Tharja was smarter than that, she’d find a way to get rid of it. Bury it, throw it in a river, toss them in some alternate dimension…something. Hopefully, no one finds it suspicious that they both changed and never wore the other outfits again…it wasn’t like anyone had a lot of spare clothes with them. 

    However, he’d expected she meant to give them to her later. So when she demands he give her his clothes at that very moment, he blinks at her in surprise. Right now? Instinctively, he glances around for anyone who might be in the area. Less because he’s nervous about being naked and more because if someone saw him stripping down in front of Tharja…that would raise relentless questions he is not able to or prepared to answer. 

    But, if she was going to burn his clothes overnight, there’s no other option. Once they walk through the camp, they’re more likely to wake someone up. So with a soft grunt of reluctant acceptance, he hands her the soaked shirt that’s hanging over his shoulder. It’s still raining, so hopefully, they’ll be obscured if anyone is up and about. Unfortunately, he knows the shirt isn’t enough. The pants are just as spattered with crimson, and there’s no getting bloodstains out of white. Trying to be quick about it but not lose his balance, he has to pull his shoes off first before he can get his pants off. 

     Lon’qu has no embarrassment when it comes to nudity, but even still, he isn’t wanting to be caught out here in his smallclothes. His feet are in mud, he’s soaked from head to toe, and he really doesn’t want to catch any sort of illness. And clearly, she’s in as much of a hurry as he is. So rather than take his time or waste any of it, he tosses his pants to her as well. “ Hope you have a spell to dry them out, first ,” he remarks. Waterlogged anything didn’t exactly burn easy. Were Tharja’s clothes even flammable? Whatever, not his problem. Turning on his heel he grabs his shoes and gives a half-wave over his shoulder before he departs. 

“ See you in the morning .”

And he certainly will, but right now he’s got to get back to his damn tent before somebody sees him. Damn, he hopes he has a towel somewhere in there still…and dry underwear.

Tharja was in too much of a rush to think about the implications of what could be implied if someone caught Lon’qu stripping in front of her. She actually wasn’t too worried about it either. Should anyone stumble upon them, she could easily cast a quick hex to erase the last few minutes from their mind. Lead them elsewhere in the meanwhile or give them something to put them to sleep until her and Lon’qu were done.

She was rather surprised though when the other didn’t argue with her. Though her face remained stoic as she watched him. Wasn’t he a wuss when it came to women? The fact he had no problem removing his clothes in front of one...or was it just her? Pah, it didn’t matter. They had a job to complete and she didn’t want to focus on his aversion. Or lack there of around her.

“Rain water is no match for fire magic.” She said it with such certainty as if she’d tested it before. And perhaps she had. But she wasn’t about to start a story when they were in a rush to get back to their tents. Collecting the clothes and not bothering to care if some of the red from the pants rubbed off on her own clothes. They were going in the fire anyway.

 “ tiring? ”  hayato parrots. perhaps that’s the way elise thought of things: relaxing and tiring. maybe that was what was the perspective a healer was conditioned to have, thinking only of the health and stresses of their peers. the two of them are more different than just the national divide between them then, though truly could he have been surprised by that revelation? 

grey eyes meet amethyst ones, and he wonders if it’s pity he sees. he’s unloaded too much clearly, and so he starts,  “ hey… you don’t have to worry that much— ”

her face blooms into a smile — one so fundamentally different different than all the peppy ones he’s seen before, so much gentler, and it robs his words, turning them into soundless wisps in the air before his hand is engulfed by hers.  “ h-hey! ”

he doesn’t protest it though. if anything, he kicks himself into gear, swimming hard to make it less strenuous on her too. she’s a storm on the move, and he will not let himself fall behind. all he asks is,  “ where are we going now?! ”

Elise was relieved when the other didn’t seem to fight back. Even seeming to come along and making quick work of helping her get him to the edge. Elise then released his hand and climbed out of the water, wringing out her hair of some of the excess water before turning to Hayato just as he questioned her actions.

Her gentle smile became wide. Her expression full of excitement and passion “You wanted herbs right? Need this trip to be productive? Well, buddy, do I have a place for you!” She declared, hands now on her hips as she waited for him to get out of the water.

    There’s a slight grimace that pulls to his face at her mention of not being trusted. Not that he didn’t already know that, it certainly isn’t news to him. It just always aggravated him. Perhaps unreasonably so, many didn’t trust dark magic. Even Lon’qu had been skeptical of it at first. But he won’t claim not to be biased. He held all the respect in the world for her, and felt she deserved that of everyone. But it wasn’t that simple. Not with a crew full of cretins and low-lifes. 

    So once they took over, the herd would be thinned out to only those worthy. Only as many as they needed. Quality over quantity, obviously. People who would learn to see her in a similar light as he did. 

    But for now, she’s right. It’s best if she sticks to the background. Keep the skepticism and distrust of the crew focused on their captain and not her. 

    Tharja certainly doesn’t seem worried about it, though. Not with that smirk on her face as she already plots out ways to toy with the weaker-minded fools. “ The sooner we can get them out of the way, the better ,” he agrees. Could they do this without help from her hexes? Probably. He doesn’t doubt that. But it could take a while. And the man could get them all killed before then. After this last battle’s results, urgency isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. She knew to stay subtle enough that people wouldn’t question his quick deterioration rather than immediately look to her to blame. 

    He finishes wrapping the gauze around his shoulder wound, sloppy a job as it is. He’s had plenty of practice with first aid, but the injury limits his mobility. “ I’ll likely have the nightwatch tonight, since the man who was set to do it is half-dead .” And would likely remember it. “ Hopefully he pulls through, I’m sure he wouldn’t be opposed to some changes .” The more allies they can get, the better. 

     “ But it’s for the better. The few on deck working tend to talk most when everyone else is asleep. It’ll be hard to hear it all from the crow’s nest, but I can still monitor their behavior .” And get involved from the rigging or when he comes down for breaks. “ We should start pushing things along tonight, while this loss is still fresh. Before they have time to get comfortable again .”

Night watch. Perfect. The seeds of doubt could already start to be planted. A few words from Lon’qu and a hex bag from Tharja for him to carry around. She’d make sure the effects of the hex wouldn’t grab a hold of him. Just those surrounding him. That mild anxiety would take them over. Make them see more into Lon’qu’s words. Though it was too early to be doing so, Tharja was already plotting out all they could do once she and Lon’qu took over the ship. It would certainly involve less death and more gold. Not that the coins were something she cared about. 

“Exactly what I was thinking,” She responded with a smirk, opening up her tome and flipping through the pages “I’ll give you something tonight to help move the others to your word.” It wouldn’t take long to do either. Such hexes were like child’s play to her. She could have quite a few bags done by that night even though they would only need one.

Tharja glanced up from her tome for a moment and her smirk turned into a scowl. Momentarily she was taken away from their plotting as her eyes saw the bandaged shoulder “That looks horrible.”

She placed her tome down and started to undue the bandages. The hex could wait for now as she went about making sure the other half of her plan didn’t die from an infection or bleed out from a poorly wrapped wound.

       The princess was relieved by the smile on her father’s - no, a version of him - face. He believed her, and by the looks of things, he accepted her. A twinge of guilt nagged at her, however. Did she put another burden on his shoulders with the revelation? 

       Even deeper, there was a sense of fear. Would this ruin the future? Would she never exist? Did she change the course of history just by one simple greeting and revealing the outcome of the war this Seliph was currently in the midst of fighting?

       Deep breaths, deep breaths. Shakily, she managed to return the smile the young prince gave her and responded to his greeting.

       Collecting whatever fragments of her royal propriety she could managed, Lumina tried to salvage the introduction.

       Shaking her head, she bowed her head respectfully. (In hindsight, the gesture may not have been entirely necessary, but it was instinctual). ❝ No, I should apologize, for the manner I greeted you with. I was… Too familiar. ❞

       Yes, she had been hoping for her father to be here. She was so lost in this world of heroes from other worlds. All she longed for was to have him here, healthy again. She needed his guidance more than ever. Yet, when she opened her mouth, those weren’t the words that she spoke.

       ❝ It’s… All right. I would still like to know you, if… If that’s fine. There aren’t many familiar faces here and it’s… Overwhelming at times. ❞

He wouldn’t lie it was a bit...nerve wracking. To meet his own child. If she really was HIS child. There were so many different versions of other heroes there. The girl could easily be some other version of his child. But ah, he still wouldn’t treat her as if she wasn’t his own. If he was the only father there she had, he’d take up the role. Even though it brought him a bit of anxiety. After all, he’d never raised a child before and hadn’t planned to do so for a long time.

Watching over the children in the village he’d been tucked away in one was thing. Having a DAUGHTER, especially one from the future, was another.

“Of course it’s fine. I would never turn you away. Especially when I can relate.” When he’d first arrived In Askr, there had been so few from his own world there. It had mainly just been him and Julia trying to get by. Surrounded by so many unfamiliar people. But they had adjusted, and hopefully Lumina would too.

   being a subject to miriel’s studies and then helping cherche with her chores had clearly been helping! perhaps he was taking a bit more than he could chew — he knew that in a few meters, he’d have to take a break with all this ( if not sooner! ) but for now he felt on top of the world! 

WHACK!

“ waaaugh! easy there, sully! ”  perhaps he was doing worse than he thought. that smack hit him off his balance, making it apparent that movement might make this a lot more of a struggle than he anticipated. still, he rebalanced himself, trying to readjust his grip on all this inventory only for him to see sully eager to add even more.  “ h-hey, i don’t know if that’s a great — ”

sure enough, all the metal came tumbling out of his arms with a large cluster of clangs against the ground, his muscles evidently not used to that much weight.  “ …idea. ”  a great big sigh spills out of him as he looks at all the armor strewn about.  “ well, that sure made a bigger mess than i was hoping… guess we should pick it all back up again, huh? ”

His words fell onto deaf ears as Sully gleefully added more items to Stahl’s pile. She wasn’t daft though. She kept an eye on his legs and arms. Looking for any shakiness or weakness in them. And if she didn’t see it, she assumed Stahl could handle even more and piled it on. But was sure to leave some items for herself. She couldn’t look as if she were letting her panther do all the work after all. 

But any further plans to add more to Stahl’s pile came to a halt as things came crashing down onto the floor. Momentary surprise shared between the two before Sully cocked her head to the side “Huh, maybe that was a bit much.” She mumbled but soon a smirk took up her face again.

  though dimitri seemed certain the myths and legends had engaged in some hyperbole when going on about loog’s physical prowess, ashe could hardly think the same. after all, just the other day, mercedes had recounted over cooking how dimitri had broken a sewing needle himself! if that was only what a descendant was like, imagine the bonafide ancestor!

still, the archer keeps his mouth shut, not wishing to invite any ire or humiliation in the case that dimitri would rather keep it a secret. besides, there was something much more interesting to react to.

“ you? and… fiction? why, that’s a pair i wouldn’t have guessed! not that i mean that in a bad way — certainly not, your highness! ”  nobles always seemed so busy, each book surely chosen carefully so as to not waste a moment of their time. someone as high rank as dimitri surely would’ve had to make the most careful selection of all, yet here he was, willing to indulge in the pleasures of a commoner. why, it all felt a little scandalous, even!

“ well, if it’s fiction you’re looking for, i know quite a few titles myself if i might say so. ”  the pride in his smile betrays the humility his words attempt to suggest.  “ are there any genres or topics you’re interested in? rest assured, we’ll find you the right book just for you! ”

“Do I not look like the type to read a few outlandish stories now and again?” He wasn’t annoyed with the assumption, far from it. He was more AMUSED by it if anything. But he supposed it would be a given that others would assume a prince would want nothing to do with tall tales. That he’d be more interested in philosophy or historical documents. And those could be worth a read now and again. But they could also grow very, very dull if something else wasn’t read in between them.

Dimitri couldn’t help but to smile himself at the pride that was dripping from Ashe. He was glad the conversation was starting to settle. Starting to seem...comfortable. He hoped it would help he and Ashe to grow closer. Perhaps to eventually drop that your highness title. Eventually. Hopefully. He mentally asked Seiros for help in that regard.

   siegbert is filled with surprised pride at the comparison only to quickly deflate once elise dissuades him from letting it get to his ego. his father was a perfect man — why not relish in this link? but there were bigger things to care about, his mouth ready to cry out in displeasure at the news of elise’s sibling relationships.

and then she bests him. this calms his heart, but he awkwardly coughs into his fist at being so easily read.  “ i would certainly hope so… ”  he had totally bought the story, no matter how flippant the remark had been. 

elise continues to be relentless, knowing exactly how to rile up the prince. “ n-no! i… i don’t even have more than soleil right now, though i have been considering a few options for my second retainer. but… even with soleil, i wish she would just present herself with even an ounce of decorum. did you know she doffs her clothing in front of me, as if it were nothing? i was mortified! ”  perhaps a bit too much oversharing, but he can’t calm the jitters in his heart at being accused anyway. 

Elise nearly choked on her tea as she heard Siegbert describe his retainer’s actions. Not that she found it crude or anything. She found it absolutely HILARIOUS! Soleil was certainly a prideful girl, definitely had more confidence in her than her father. But ah, someone should probably speak to Soleil about that, lest anyone get the wrong idea. 

“At least she’s...proud of her body?” Elise questioned with a soft chuckle, putting her tea down now so she could look at her nephew head on. A mischevious twinkle in her eye.

“But enough about Soleil. What about this other retainer you’re looking for. Who are the options? One wouldn’t happen to be part wolf would she?”

After summoning his courage to invade her personal space, he was adamant about letting her know his feelings towards her and her sister. Whatever may happen, he is going to stand by her and Lucina. If they wished to stay, he will welcome them, and if they decided to leave, he will respect and support them. They are adult and they can choose for themselves. 

Once he said his piece, he waited for her response or any indication she heard and understood him. Her response was good enough for him for now. It is understandable if she felt overwhelmed at this moment. Honestly, he is, too, overwhelmed but he can’t falter now.

A gentle pat to her back before he pulled away, hands traveled up to rest on top of her shoulders. “Of course. I just want you to keep that in your mind, alright?” a soft squeeze to her shoulders before he turned around. “Come on! If you are going to fix that shield for your mother then we better get back before she spots us, heh.”

Chrom walked ahead, his right hand pressed against his face trying to wipe any tear that threatened to come down before he was spotted by his daughter. 

As much as she hated to admit it, she felt more comfort when her father released her than she did in his embrace. Perhaps it was the fact that his touch and hold brought about things she didn’t wish to remember. The fact it gave her a desire to grow close to a man that was a memory of her father, even though she knew she couldn’t. As Chrom released her, Kjelle felt the tension leave her shoulders. Looking at him with a blank expression. A look she had practiced holding on her face for many years now.

She wasn’t sure if she was disappointed in his response or not. No doubt he was just trying to be respectful to her wishes. But it also hurt he didn’t put up much of a fight. So much from within her was fighting against each other. But it would be unfair to be angry at her father for something she ASKED him to do. It wasn’t as if she’d given him much to respond to anyway.

Kjelle eyed the ground, allowing her father to get farther way. Eventually she had to come back to reality and moved to catch up with him.

✦ ( @nessblessed​ ) 𝓼𝓪𝓲𝓭 : think you can get up? {From Silque to Faye}

          ❝ Ah— Yeah! I’m okay… ❞ SHE’S STARSTRUCK, astonished by the cleric’s persistent kindness. Perhaps she’s a tad embarrassed as well. Often does she make the feeble effort to gain a certain someone’s attention, and sometimes playing the part of the damsel just doesn’t quite work out. That, and she’d taken more of a tumble than she’d intended. If anything, she was lucky that Silque had taken notice above anyone else. 

Delicate fingers brush over a scrape healed by magic, a deep sigh escaping her lips. She’d certainly failed in her attempt to keep everyone but those from Ram Village at arm’s length. There would be no point in hiding her disappointment from someone she can consider a friend, now. Linking hands with the other, she pulls herself back onto her feet. 

          ❝ Hey, Silque? ❞ Faye murmurs, dusting off the skirt of her dress. It’d probably be better to keep a stupid slip up like this quiet. Those boys know well enough by now that she’s capable of handling herself. They’d never stop fussing if they thought something was wrong. ❝ Thanks, but… Could you keep it a secret that I tripped? I don’t want anyone making a big deal of it. ❞

Silque made it a priority to keep a close eye on the young archer. Mainly because it always seemed she was healing the other. Though it was often just a few cuts and bruises, it was still quite a bit of work on her plate. Not that Silque minded, feeling as if the constant attention she gave to Faye allowed the pair to grow closer. Certainly they were on friendlier terms then they had been a few weeks ago.

“Yes?” The cleric spoke up as she helped the other to stand. Her hands remaining interlocked with Faye’s for a moment longer before she released her hold “I have no reason to tell them to begin with. Your injuries weren’t anything that are of any concern. However...”

✦ ( @nessblessed​ ) 𝓼𝓪𝓲𝓭 : don’t be a coward. {From Nyx to Kamui}

          ❝ B-but Nyx! ❞ HIS VOICE CRACKS, hands trembling as they grip tightly onto the Yato. Maybe it is a little childish, let alone utterly unbecoming to show such crippling fear towards an insect of all things. After all, in his short lifetime, Kamui has already witnessed plenty of atrocities far worse than some oversized beetle. He’s a prince with nowhere to call home, at the center of three kingdoms. The man certainly has a number of repressed memories, tucked away in that naive head of his.

Yet here he is, showing the same uncertainty he would on any battlefield — to a bug. It’s like a rock with long, twiggy legs! The noise its wings make when it leaps from one wall to another sends shivers down his spine. That is to say he even has one. Anyone else would slip their boot right off and squash it, but he can’t even manage that! 

          ❝ Augh…! No! I can’t do it! What if it has a little beetle family to go home to? Please go away, beetle! And not so loudly… ❞

Nyx had tuned out the prince’s complaining at that point. Instead watching the bug fly about the room, looking for any sort of escape. Perhaps it was just as annoyed with Kamui’s whining as she was. Endearing it could be at times, but it eventually wore thin. How was he the leader of an entire army? How had she allowed him to snake his way into her heart when he acted like...such a child?

The mage couldn’t help but to sight, holding her hand up and allowing the bug to eventually land on her. Seeming at peace even when she moved and looked at it closer.

“It is just a beetle. Don’t cry over it.” She looked in the prince’s direction but maintained a distance. His fear was genuine and she wasn’t going to tease him about it and bring the bug closer. 

    She looks away, and he takes that opportunity to do the same. Mostly because it felt odd for his eyes to bore into the side of her face…but also so he could return his attention to their surroundings again. He is still on night watch, after all. 

    A huff of amusement escapes his nose at her offer to make a hex for it. She seemed to have a hex for everything, somehow. He would never understand the complexity of dark magic. Though he couldn’t cast simple anima spells like thunder or elwind, they made sense to him. You have a tome. It casts a certain spell. And while dark magic seemed to have similar tomes, there was also this…plethora of other things she could do with it without a tome, but with reagents…Should it be alarming what she could do with such spells? Maybe. But never once does he think that she used a spell to attract him to her. This wasn’t something that had blindsided him or that he didn’t understand. He’d simply refused to see it out of fear and denial. 

    But if someone asked, he could list everything about her that he loved. 

     “ That is no doubt the better solution ,” he agrees. He wasn’t one to rely on magic anyway. Save for when that was the only solution, say, for having your body swapped with someone else’s. “ I won’t be obvious, I’m sure it doesn’t surprise you that I don’t have the slightest clue how to act like I have feelings for anyone .” He pauses, leaning back further against the log and up at the sky briefly. “ Which will be essential, since lying certainly isn’t a good skillset of mine .” Hiding the fact he was in a relationship? Easy enough. Denying it if he was directly asked specific questions about it? Much harder. He can only say ‘no’ so many times before he starts to get defensive and rattled. 

    He groans and can’t help the roll of his eyes at the mention of Vaike. “ Urk… Don’t remind me. He’s in my business enough as it is. Thankfully he’s a big enough idiot not to catch on. Gaius is the one I’m worried about .” That sneaky thief could very well be listening in on them now and Lon’qu would be none the wiser. And he’d be just as relentless…possibly more so. 

   “ Not that it will change anything .” He certainly wouldn’t leave her over something as petty as being teased. “ But killing him would be a mess .” It’s a joke, despite his flat-as-ever tone. And with the rate Lon’qu threatened to kill people, no one would think twice. After Vaike had spread the rumor Lon’qu was gay, the swordsman literally told him to bend his head and prepare for it.

    But it was also true, they knew first hand. He wasn’t stupid enough to ever say so out loud, however. In case there was someone lurking in the shadows. 

Vaike and Cordelia would be their biggest hurdles out of everyone in the camp, should anyone find out. Henry would have been their hardest to convince, if he were still around. But luckily they didn’t have to worry about him anymore and would never have to again. The mage buried more than six feet under in dirt that couldn’t be moved. His ghosts and any lingering hexes left now long gone. Tharja made sure of that nearly every day. Perhaps that was another reason she’d grown so close to Lon’qu. Not just from the body swap and the...disposal. But also because she checked on him nearly every day to make sure no further harm had befallen him overnight. No secret hex cast on him by Henry from the dead.

“Should Gaius cause any trouble I’ll take care of it.” Tharja shrugged, as if the thief was of no concern to her. At least that candy grabber could keep a secret if persuaded, or threatened, enough. Vaike on the other hand, that moron would shout it to the heavens and back. 

“Should ANY of them cause any trouble - I’ll take care of it. Despite how open this army likes to be I rather not have my entire life laid out for them. Especially...this.”

She wasn’t embarrassed of Lon’qu. Far from it. But she didn’t need everyone meddling into her personal matters. As well as the fact she had a reputation to keep. If Cordelia got word of it, Tharja had no doubt the flier would be dragging her along to look at perfect date spots and things the dark mage could wear. To that day, Tharja questioned herself for ever agreeing to become friends with such a love sick woman. Even NOWI was more tolerable than Cordelia. And that was saying a lot.

          GAWKING, she’s practically petrified the moment she sees him. She was well aware that the professor had paired her with the prince for this week’s group task. Of course, Bernadetta instantly protested in spite of the warning. It didn’t matter if they were only doing a simple task like weeding — Dimitri was scary! There was a reason she avoided most of her classmates, in spite of transferring houses! Not that it was a very good reason…

Yet here he was, his words no more than a murmur to her ears ( deafened by paranoia, no doubt ). It’s not that Dimitri was mean. He was entirely welcoming of her when she joined the Blue Lion house! It’s just that… There was something about him, even when he was being kind. Bernadetta seemed to be someone who would scatter at her own shadow; but in this case, she couldn’t help but feel as though the prince’s shoulders were terribly heavy.

Now is the worst time to be letting her mind race. She’s completely ignoring the prince’s efforts in getting her to snap out of it. They have work to do! ❝ I… Oh! I’m so sorry! I wasn’t listening! Please don’t be angry! ❞

weeding out the weak! | @nessblessed​ | dimitri

It was rather...amazing how easily the professor could get other students to transfer houses. Especially when it came to the Black Eagles house. He surely thought no one would leave Edelgard’s side. His stepsister had a way with words after all and had no difficulty in convincing others to fight alongside her. But ah, the professor could work miracles.

Though he wasn’t sure if it was best to pair him with their newest addition. Dimitri prided himself in being able to know what he could about his fellow housemates. And from what he gathered on Bernadetta - she was of the nervous sort. Made evident by how she was reacting to him for a simple group task. He feared how she would react in battle, even a mock one, if she ever had to fight alongside him.

 “ huh? what? you’re not making any sense. ”  he narrows his eyes at her, scrutinizing her face before rolling his eyes.  “ you said two negatives there. ”

though even if he said all that, he in his heart knew exactly what she was asking anyway. feigning ignorance for banter wasn’t going to be all that helpful. he turns his gaze to glance across the streets again, surveying the people all around them before he reached his answer.

“ …food. these people need it a lot more than us. ”  it clearly wasn’t the kind of thing daisy wasn’t interested in stealing to begin with, considering her eyes were aimed at fancy trinkets. but the farm boy in him sticks to it anyway.  “ to a lot of them, it’s all they have. or worse, they’ll need it to send to the empire as taxes. starve or die. this world really sucks… ”

“You really just took notice of the poor grammar in my sentence and nothing else? Listen, we all can’t get fancy educations like the rest of you in the army.” She huffed, more irritated that he only seemed to care about her grammar. At least he eventually answered her question and it...wasn’t what she expected.

Daisy peeked around the other’s form and glanced in the direction he was looking in. As selfish as it was, she often stole for herself and not others. Even her own brother didn’t get the gifts she would pluck from vendors and stores alike. Deimne was the first person she offered to steal for in years and he was...wanting her to get things for others. Chivalrous sort of guy, wasn’t he?

  the lack of an answer is telling. of course no one would be able to reject their own professor — not when they were clearly placing heavy hopes upon you. that meant they saw something in you, even if you didn’t want to see it yourself. 

“ yes! my father is a good friend of lord sigurd, and my mother is his sister… i hear a lot about you because of that. ”   his wording is clumsy, threatening to even sound too indifferent or bitter about being given these tales, but leif lights up completely as he explains it. it is almost as if the boy who was preoccupied by his own paranoia is gone.  “ they talk about lord sigurd’s son all the time. they’ve wanted to see you, but they make do with letters for now. i’ve heard you’re great with a sword and the kindest person ever  —  exactly what i expect from someone from house chalphy! you… you have a crest, don’t you? ”

it’s his solid bet. someone with so much hope placed upon him must be a crest bearer. besides, if he wasn’t, then he would have had siblings. as far as leif knew, seliph was an only child. the signs all pointed towards the affirmative.

maybe someone destined to be so great wouldn’t understand the need to diversify. after all, seliph was going to be great with the blade  —  someone difficult to compete with. leif shakes his head.  “ no. if i only master a few, i’m not worth anything. but if i master everything, then i might be able to stand up alongside all the crest bearers. i won’t let myself fall behind! ”

Seliph couldn’t prevent the blush from coming to his face at the thought of someone speaking highly of him. Even if it was family members. He still felt rather heart broken and upset with his own father for the sole fact along he knew very little of his own cousin. Yet Leif clearly seemed to know so much about him. Already Seliph was crafting the letter he’d send to his father, questioning the reasons why he hadn’t been told of other family members.

So preoccupied in his own thoughts that he missed the slight bitter tone that had come from Leif. Moving on with the conversation as if nothing had happened.

“I...yes I have a crest.” Not that he cared for it though. But he wasn’t going to admit that out loud. Not when the academy was such a crest driven facility. To bad mouth his own crest may be more trouble than it was worth. And though Leif was family - he was still a STRANGER in Seliph’s eyes.

But the way Leif spoke. To think he needed a crest to be worth anything. It made Seliph frown.

    He hates that she makes as much sense as she does in her words. His stubborn pride tells him to refute her logic, but he can’t bring himself to do it. Not when he knows it to be true. The endless circles of arguments were frustrating, they slowed progress, they accomplished nothing. Fighting an endless war has no purpose if there is no victor. Both on the battlefield and among the courts. Berkut’s lips press into a hard line, twitching up slightly with aggravation, but he bites his tongue rather than arguing further. What argument would he even spout? 

    If he’d had any intention of admitting that she had a point, that he agreed in any capacity, that desire was decimated when she speaks of his mistakes. Of his siding with Duma, sacrificing Rinea…She says that he will already go down in history as a villain…The way he hears it, there is no redemption for him. He could spend the rest of his life appeasing them and still, they would write him off as evil, as the villain who tried to destroy them for power. True as it might be in some capacity, he had hoped for some sort of redemption. He had wanted to move past it, to make things right on some level. He knew he would never be absolved from his sins, but to still be plastered as the face of vile darkness on what would one day be an age-old tale, likely left to be twisted further and further into cruelty and obscurity as the decades passed…any record of his attempts to set things right erased altogether or, worse yet, rewritten to be Alm’s doing…

    His temper doesn’t snap this time, but something in him does. A low chuckle starts to bubble in the back of his throat, shoulders tensing as he comes to a stop. And that chuckle quickly escalates into a full-on cackle, mad in nature. Not too unlike the laugh that had echoed down the halls after Fernand had witnessed his possession. But this time the laugh is not laced with greed, but rather a sort of resignation. Even if the way he throws his head back reeks of arrogance. 

    When he snaps his face back down, he looks at her with an uneasy grin and unsettling eyes that are an impossible mix of horror, pain, and hysterics. His voice seems to match, though it sounds more ominous than he realizes, practically laughing as he speaks. 

   “ Is that so? Then why the wait? Bring me to the noose now, if you find me such an abberation. If the lot of you know SO WELL what I intend, see no purpose in my existence save for the ability to USE me as I’ve been used all my life…then by all means, I’ll place my neck upon the guillotine now. Maybe when my head finally rolls at your feet, I’ll find some semblance of respite from the horrors that cling to my shadow and spill from my very fingertips .” 

    Another laugh that fades out before he looks back down, staring blankly ahead at the hall before him….one that now seems like an endless trek to nothing but Hell. But it all subsides so quickly. Expression becoming ghostly blank as he stares, voice a hollow and monotone mutter, like a man who’d been brainwashed and denied sleep for days on end. In truth…perhaps he sounds like that…because he is that man. He mumbles as if he is suddenly alone, as if Clair nor anyone else is nowhere in the vicinity. He’s all but blacked out, questioning the very point of his existence…Is he meant only to suffer?

     “ I was supposed to die that day…Not her…Not Fernand…I was…If Alm were to defeat me, then I was to die…there was no other option…Living with it was not an option…yet here I am among the living still…he wouldn’t let me die…couldn’t let me die…I have to live with it…It will never end …” 

     And no one seemed to understand why he couldn’t bring himself to thank Alm, why he hated him so. It was a mercy they said, that despite all his sins, the new ruler chose to save his life. To spare him from the horrible blackness of death. 

    But this is no mercy. Every day he’s cursed to wake up and remember what he’s done, what he’s lost, what he’d been put through. How he’d been used his whole life…By his uncle, then by Duma, now by Alm and his court…His life is not his own. He’s merely a puppet, a scapegoat, a pariah for their own ends. How can it be that the greater good relies so heavily on destroying someone who had the audacity to be born into royalty? His mutterings continue, but they become unintelligible…

    If Alm truly wanted to have mercy on him…he would have left him to die…This was not mercy, this is his purgatory, his Hell. This is his punishment for lashing back at those who used him…a reminder that he will never be allowed to step out of the clearly drawn line set out before him. 

     Never.

She expected him to lash out. To start screaming in her face when she reminded him of his past mistakes and sins. She was READY for it. Having steeled herself to his behavior. But instead she was left stunned as he started to chuckle. A shiver running up her spine when that chuckle became a maniacal laugh. Like one of a crazed man having been backed into a corner and having nothing left to do. It unnerved her greatly and for a split moment she wanted to turn away and leave just to get away from the sound.

But she found herself frozen in place when he finally came back to reality and looked at her. Muscles growing tense but refusing to show any fear on her face despite the slight terror running through her. Prince Berkut was still just as terrifying as he had been when Emperor Alm and the rest of them faced him long ago. 

Clair bit her low kips at his words. Unsure of what to say and mentally cursing herself for having brought the prince to such hysterics to begin with. Though disliked in court and on shaky terms with Alm, the emperor still didn’t wish for his cousin to suffer. Though Berkut thought he was being used, Alm wanted nothing more than to coexist with the other and have them both have their slice of the throne. To make decisions together. But...she supposed on some level,,,she could see how Berkut saw the opposite of that.

Just saw himself being strung along by a leash and told to play nice with the true ruler.

Her fear seemed to melt, if only slightly, as she barely caught his muttered words. She bit her lip harder when she heard Ferdnand’s name. Still missing her friend greatly. Still blaming Berkut on some level for what happened to him.

The prince seemed so despondent now. The fire from before seemingly gone and replaced by endless mutterings. Of a possible wish to have died back during that battle. Clair raised a hand and reached out for a moment, then quickly pulled back and held her hand to her chest. It felt as if they stood there forever. The only sound being the mumbling of Berkut.

    She wants him to fetch supplies for her? That’s not a problem. A welcome challenge, if he’s honest, though he wouldn’t admit that. It would probably be for the best that he didn’t vocalize that he was going to try to work himself back into her favor. Even if it wasn’t romantically, as much as he’d wish for it, he knows all too well that he’s likely missed his chance on that front…assuming he ever had one to begin with. But if he could repair enough damage to make her stop hating him…He could happily live with that. 

    He gives a nod of acceptance at that, no protests at being her errand boy if when she willed it. “ As you wish .” Really…it’s a mild form of recompense. He would do anything for her…Especially now after what he’s done. If she’d demanded he give up his other arm to prove his remorse…he’s not so sure he’d say no. 

    Lon’qu glances in the direction she’d indicated, at the closet door across the room. It wasn’t what he expected, but that was mostly because he’d expected her to kick him out altogether. A closet was a step up from his usual these days, considering he’d been sleeping in the streets most nights. He’ll gladly take a closet floor. At least he won’t have to worry about being conscious enough not to get mugged. 

    He shakes his head, clearly showing no signs of disapproval or disappointment on his face at that development. The last thing he’d want her to think is that he was ungrateful for it. Particularly when he was far from it. “ No, it’s more than enough .”  But he still doesn’t move, as if making the wrong movement or taking the wrong action would ignite her fury again and he’d find himself out on the street again. But even if she’d invited him into her home, he hardly feels welcome enough to move about it. 

    But he’s also curious about what he’s missed. What she’s been doing all these years since he left. He wonders if she was at all curious about the details on where he’d been or why or how he’d lost a limb…but she might be too angry to care. Nonetheless, it doesn’t change the former. Asking stupid questions like ‘how have you been’ seem like a suicide mission, though. He exhales again, keeping his nerves of fucking things up even more in check. Lon’qu wasn’t scared of much these days, not even women, he’d come to realize (though, he had developed a fear of Wyverns…and heights to some extent…), but her…How ironic the one woman he wasn’t afraid of before is now the only one he fears. Fear of losing her again, even if he doesn’t technically have her back. 

    “ What have you been working on ?” Maybe it’s also a stupid question, but at least it wasn’t as stupid as anything else he could have asked. She’d always kept herself busy with her spells, no doubt his disappearance hadn’t changed that. 

She gave him another once over. He didn’t seem displeased with taking up space in her closet. The look from before now having melted away and seemingly placed with indifference. More than enough? Well she supposed it was an upgrade from living on the streets. Was that how he had lost his arm? Did someone sneak up on him and take it? She felt a mixture of curiosity and anger boil up within her at the thought.

Anger of someone else touching him and taking something. Then a moment later she reminded herself she wasn’t meant to be angry at his situation and should her fury pointed at HIM. Curiosity was there due to the fact she wanted to know just how he’d lost it. But she didn’t want to seem interested in his condition and make it easy for him to weasel his way into her heart. Not again.

Not yet?

“Things.” She responded to his question with a shrug. She made her way to the closet she’d designated as his and started to remove the few supplies from within it. It was mainly books that took up space. Books that she could either dispose of or move elsewhere. A few empty jars that could use cleaning or refilled. She was already making a list in her head of things he could go fetch for her by that night.

“Nothing that concerns you.” At least not anymore. She wasn’t going to admit to the fact she had spent a whole year trying different spells to try and locate him. Growing more and more frustrated every time one of them failed.