That was a fact the Major never tried to hide.
Not in training, never in bed.
But I let him hate me. It made me feel alive.
To have such a strong emotion targeted at me; it was attention, focus, determination.
In a place where everyone saw me as a vessel, a weapon, he saw something else.
Maybe a toy, perhaps a pet…
I like to call myself his partner.
The pain he inflicted was the very only thing keeping me alive.
It started small; words, more pressure that he should apply, looks… Then some heavy punches, broken bones, pools of blood.. And finally, the sex.
After all he’s done, after all the time, I shouldn’t feel this way.
“Stockholm syndrome”… yeah,,, it's a possibility.
But I love him, I really do…
He isn't always a brute, you know?
Yes, he inflings things on me that no human could ever survive,
but he only does it for my own good.
He wouldn't do it if I didn't have my mutation…. right?
Because when the monster rests, Jack clean the wounds the major made,
he does look at me in my eyes, and I can feel it, the heat on his skin when his touch isn't meant to hurt.
But one day I really fucked up.
It was supposed to be a punishment.
He did all kinds of vile things to me, I allowed it all, embracing them, taking the only emotion he was able to show me.
Beaten up, bloody, sore, and breathless…
it came so natural it scared me
I didn't correct myself, I would never take back the truth.
But I still braced myself for the impact. Waited for him to break my neck, my jaw, ribs, skull, nose… All of me
Instead, his movements just stoped
And I’ll never forget the look on his face.
An expression that disappeared as soon as it came.
He started moving again, choking me harder, denying fresh air to stroke my lungs.
I let him, I was foolish, that was what I deserved, I embraced it, I wanted it.
When I woke up he wasn't there,
but so wasn’t the blood, the sweat, the smell of sex…
He took care of me. Jack always did.
And as delusional as it may sound,
those actions have words, and for me, it is a
snowghoul
origamiaround
germansingergirl
andulkaphoto
areudirty
titsay
