you got me looking for attention

Pre-Semester Prep

You normally plan your schedule better but a dead phone results in you hopping straight off a plane to attend a cohort meeting a week before the semester starts. You're trying to conceal how out of breath you are as you lean against the wall in the back of cohort leader's office. Your neck appreciates the cold wall behind you and gradually, you feel your heart regain its normal pace. Shotaro, another student in your cohort, gives you a slight wave when he notices you. You're about to return his gesture with a 'hello' then your cohort lead claps her hands together to gather everyone's attention.

"Alright, I think we can get started. Welcome back! I hope your winter break was rock solid". A collective mix of groans and giggles ring across the room. You make eye contact with your cohort leader and you shoot her a thumbs up as a means of encouragement. She continues through announcements about department funding and you aren't really paying too much attention until she mentions Teaching Assistant roles.

"Lastly, the assignments for the classes that you'll be assisting in this semester will be emailed by the end of the day. Meetings with your working professor should happen before the end of the week." She claps her hands together, signaling that the meeting was over and you saunter over to Shotaro. He envelopes you in a hug and asks about your break. You divulge all the details of your winter break as the two of you walk to the cafe across the street from your department building.

When you walk in, there's a table of your friends who flag you down when they notice the two of you. Warm greetings and hugs are shared within the group. Shotaro walks over to the counter and orders for the both of you, while you catch up with the others at the table. A feeling of deja vu falls over as you recount the details of your winter break. Shotaro returns with your iced London Fog, chastising you for drinking a cold drink even during the winter.

"I like what I like Taro, sue me!" You say with a shrug and everyone at the table laughs. Everyone is wrapped in their own conversations, including you, when all of your phones collectively buzz. You're the first to read the notification and announce to the group that TA assignments were out. Everyone scrambles to look at their phones. There's a bit of silence before they all starts reacting to the email. You're still scanning the email and then you finally see your name.

You try to hide the smile on your face when you read the little asterisk at the end of the email, but Shotaro immediately notices and nudges you.

"What's with the smile Y/N?"

All the eyes at the table have looked up from their phones and turned to you. The smile that was hiding breaks out when you tell everyone that you were assigned as a Head TA with Dr. Choi. Oooohs and claps ring around the table for you. Jeonghan, who was sitting across from you, lets out a whistle and gives you a high five when he realizes that the two of you would be working together again. He goes back to read the email and then he makes a face.

"What is it Jeonghan," you ask earnestly.

He bites his lip and shoots out a lie that it was something else. But you know him well enough to tell when he's lying. The two of you were in the same seminar in your first semester and spent enough time to be able to call his bluff the way you are right now. This captures everyone's attention and soon the two of you are being pestered to read out the list of TA's for Dr. Choi's class. Not seeing what the big deal is, you unlock your phone and start listing out the names.

"Chaewon." Everyone has nothing but nice things to say about Chaewon. You've seen her at department meetings and mixers. You don't know much except for the fact that her focus is in evolutionary biology.

"Chenle." The same thing as Chaewon, any person who knows him has nothing but nice things to say. You know that Chenle and Shotaro are quite close as they've been friends for a really long time. They went to the same school for undergrad and were part of the same fraternity, Sigma Mu. You've met Chenle several times during some of your hangouts with Shotaro.

"Obviously, Yoon Jeonghan," You say matter-of-factly and there are boos from the table. Several people utter the word menace and you laugh. You skip yourself on the list because that fact is what started this whole conversation in the first place.

"Altair," saying your friend's name brings a smile to your face. You're relieved that you know more than one person in this class. It just makes your life a hell of a lot easier when you can get along with the people you're spending an entire semester with. Everyone agrees when you talk about how welcoming she always makes anyone in her circle feel.

"And lastly, the other Head TA, Lee Seokmin."

A hush falls over the table. You yourself have never met Lee Seokmin, but you've seen his name plastered everywhere. Even in undergrad when you were compiling research for your capstone thesis, you used an article he published. The reaction from your friends made you feel a bit uneasy.

"Okay guys seriously, why is no one saying anything?" A beat passes. Everyone at the table is shifting glances at each other, like they were all thinking the same thing but waiting for the one brave person to actually let the thoughts out. Turning to Shotaro, you shoot him a pleading look and beg with your eyes to clue you into this weird reaction that everyone is having. You see him look across the table to Jeonghan who shakes his head no and you slam your hand down on the table.

"Someone tell me what the heck is going on," you whine towards Shotaro. You can see the pity in his eyes as he look towards Jeonghan. The two of them are having an argument with just their eyes and you break it by whining again. You don't mean to act like a child throwing a tantrum, but your nerves are already shot from the shared silence of the table. Thankfully, Jeonghan puts you out of your misery.

"Okay I'm gonna level with you. Seokmin's not… how do I say this…" He look towards the rest of the group for help to finish his sentence. They all murmur to themselves trying to fill in his blank.

"He's not exactly well-known for being kind." A look of shock appears on your face. This is what they were all having a conniption over? The fact that your co-head wasn't friendly? Before you can say anything Jeonghan continues. He resumes to tell you that Lee Seokmin is someone that you should probably steer clear of. That he doesn't play well with others, that he's clearly a burnt out senior grad student who doesn't really like sharing. It's like the floodgates opened once Jeonghan finishes because then everyone at the table starts chiming in with their own little tidbits and interactions with Seokmin.

All of their comments shared the same sentiment: Lee Seokmin is a gray cloud of human and you're bound for a storm.

WEEK ONE

The first day of class is tomorrow and you have yet to see or hear from Seokmin. After your friends took their turns warning you about him, it was safe to stay you were even more intimidated by him than ever. If anyone asked you right now though, you'd say you are mildly annoyed as you've had to assume all of the responsibilities of prepping for this semester since your "partner" had been missing the entire time. You also have the pleasure of having the first discussion section after the first lecture, so you find yourself holed up in the shared office space revising your section notes.

A ping comes from your laptop and you switch over to the tab that has your university email opened. You sigh when you realize that the notification was just an automated reminder email for the first day of class. Clicking out of the email, you eye the email that you had sent to Seokmin last week, there's an orange message in the preview line.

Sent 5 days ago. Follow up?

A frown crinkles your lips downwards, surely the senior graduate student with this much responsibility wouldn't just ignore your email? You sit up and begin to draft a follow-up

From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Subject: RE: Norming and Schedules Hi again, I just wanted to follow up on my last email to make sure you got it! We have classes in a week and I'd really love to get some 1:1 time to make sure we're on the same page. I can work with whatever schedule you've

Something compels you to stop typing. The blink of your cursor matches the soft click of your wristwatch, both of them taunting you, waiting for your next move. Swiping your cursor down to the taskbar, you check the time. It's a half hour past eight and there are fifteen hours left before the first lecture of the semester. Staring a bit longer at the nudge notification, you decide that nothing will stop you from having a good semester and close out of your email tab. You don't need this jaded senior who has clearly shown no intention of caring about this class.

Being chosen as a Head TA when you were only in your second semester was a big deal to you. Especially when it was under the tutelage of Dr. Choi Minho. You'd known Dr. Choi for longer than most of your cohorts as you'd taken an intership in his research lab during your undergraduate studies. Highly revered in the academic space for his research, you knew that working with and for him was a coveted spot. To be chosen out of so many students in your department, especially those with more years under your belt, was not something you were going to take for granted. Not something you were going to squander over a guy you've never even met, a guy who couldn't bother to show up.

An endorsement from him was a golden ticket in the academic field of Anthropology. When the bell tower on campus signaled that it was now nine, you decided that you would do your absolute best to prove yourself worthy of this decision. Nothing was going to stop you from being the best, especially not Lee Seokmin.

The First Lecture

The lecture hall was empty when you arrived. Of course it was, who shows up 45 minutes early to a lecture?

You do.

After you comes Dr. Choi and the rest of the TA's in your lecture filter in. Dr. Choi is configuring his laptop to the podium while you and the others are making small talk. Your head is on a swivel as the students filter in. Lee Seokmin is nowhere to be found.

Soon enough the lecture hall buzzes with all of the students and there are only a few minutes until class begins. Whispering in Jeonghan's ear, you question the missing scary senior he'd warned you about. He cranes his neck around the hall and you follow his eyes. Turning back to you he shrugs, telling you that he doesn't see him. Another string of annoyance bubbles inside you. As you walk towards the back of the room to take your seat, there's a string of irritation worming its way through your head.

Missing prep week? Fine, that happens.

Ignoring your emails about prep week? Rude but not the worst thing in the world?

Missing the first day of class? You marveled at how this guy could possibly have been chosen as the other Head TA

Dr. Choi begins his lecture and as he walks through his introductions, your mind races through the list of reasons why your co-TA is missing. The annoyance that was running through your body immediately dissipates when you think that he might be dealing with something serious. Ever the empath, you start to feel bad that you'd been so quick to jump to conclusions. Especially about someone you've never really met. Before you can sink deeper into your spiral, you hear your name get called out for an introduction. Looking up you see that all the heads of the students are looking towards you, so you immediately stand up and wave.

"Hi everyone! My name is Y/N. I'm one of the Head TA's this semester, along with Seokmin, who I'm sure we'll see at some point." Looking down at the students, you get a couple smiles back, some of them even wave back at you. The rest of your cohort introduce themselves and when they finish, Dr. Choi lets the class know that any important announcements about the class will be coming from you.

You yell out that they'll probably get annoyed with all of your pings and that earns you some quiet laughter. When that dies down, you focus your attention to Dr. Choi who was wheeling out a cork board. The title of the class is posted on the board — ANTH218: Anthropological Explorations of Love.

"Everyone of us in this room, I'm sure, has experienced some form of love at one point in their lives. Platonic, romantic, or familial. In all three of those, the way love shows up can come in many forms."

Dr. Choi points at the board and exclaims that throughout the semester, everyone in this class is encouraged to post something on this board that reminds them of love. He picks up a box that was on the podium and lets the students know he has plenty of supplies. When he senses that the students have understood the plan for this ploy for class engagement, he moves in to actual lecture material.

The room fills with a cacophony of keyboard clicks and pages flipping for the next hour. Every once in a while, Dr. Choi says something in his lecture that catches your attention and you type it into your own set of notes to bring up during your discussion sections. An hour passes by quickly and the first lecture of this semester is over. As the students leave the lecture hall, you swivel your head to see if Lee Seokmin might have made an appearance. When he is no where to be found, you find yourself pulling up another email draft.

You're not able to type anything except the first initial of his name, as Jeonghan and Altair flank your side, inviting you out for a late lunch. The grumble of your stomach answers for you and the email you were drafting is forgotten as you slide your laptop in your bag.

You don't think about Seokmin again for the rest of the week, as your work begins to pick now that the semester was in full swing.

WEEK TWO

It's the last hour of your office hours and not a single student has shown up. You aren't that surprised as it is only the second week of the semester, but you did try to emphasize during lectures and sections that your office hours were not only for matters regarding class work or concepts. The iced tea you'd been nursing has formed a ring of condensation on your desk and you frown, using the sleeve of your sweater to wipe up the wet circle.

You finish your iced tea and whip out your phone to text your friends about grabbing dinner. As soon as you press send, a knock has your head perking up to check out the noise. The red oak door has swung open and you see a student from your discussion section has stopped by.

"Hi Y/N, sorry I know your hours are almost ov—"

"—Don't be silly! Come in!" You wave them over with a big smile on your face. Asking them to remind you of her name, she introduces herself as Sophia and you offer her the seat across from you. You turn the brightness of your star shaped lamp up higher and ask her what brought her to your office hours.

Pulling out her laptop, she admits that she is having trouble understanding the assigned reading for the week and you reassure her that Carsten's work is not the most accessible so it is no surprise that she was having a hard time with the text.

"Tell you what, why don't you pick out the parts that were the most difficult for you and we can work through them together," you say with a smile and gesture towards her laptop. Nodding back, she scrolls down a few pages to a highlighted bit of text. You read the passage aloud and when you finish, she explains that she thinks she understands the concept of kinship but can't see the connection to functioning societies. Gently, you guide her through the connection, taking the extra time to pause in between points in case she had any questions.

The two of you continue like this and before long, you've gone through every bit of text. When she finishes the last of her notes, she glances at her watch and her eyes go wide.

"Oh! I am so sorry, it's an hour past your scheduled office hours," she profusely continues, worried about the time she's impeded on. Assuring her that it was alright, you tell her that it was actually a delight to help her. That is what a good chunk of your job is as a teaching assistant. Quickly packing up her things, she apologizes one last time before leaving your office and yelling out that she would see you at the next lecture. The door shuts and you glance at your phone which is flooded with notifications from your friends confirming dinner plans and then being concerned since you weren't answering. Swiftly replying that you got caught up in your office hours, you said you would just meet them at the restaurant.

You are halfway through cleaning up when you hear the door open. Well less of an open, it actually slams into the wall from how hard it was opened. You're about to sternly scold whatever student rudely scared you but when you look up, it's none other than Lee Seokmin himself. You were starting to believe that he was just never going to show and you were gonna have to shoulder this entire semester yourself, but here he is. He's younger than you expected.

He's dressed in a navy blue button up, with a gray sweater vest and light blue jeans. Your friends described him as a burnt out senior, but this outfit screams "I have my life figured out and you should feel bad that you don't". Black square glasses sit on top of his unexpectedly handsome face. No one mentioned how attractive Seokmin was.

"Hi!" You gleefully say as you get up. No reply from him. Realizing that your thoughts are probably displayed all over your face, you straighten yourself out. Observing him some more, you notice that he has an earbud in one ear, deducing that he might not have heard you when you greeted him, you raise your voice a little when you start talking.

"Sorry, I'm sure you were expecting an empty office. I just had a student meeting run long—"

"—You done in here?" He sounded bored, almost irritated. He hasn't looked up from the phone in his hand since he got here.

"Oh… Y-yeah. All yours." Dejectedly, you swing your bag over your shoulder and make your way out of the office. Before you're all the way out the door, you turn around.

"It was nice to meet—" The door slams closed in your face. "You," you whisper to the door. Utterly confused by what just happened, you begin the descent downstairs in a questioning daze. You phone buzzing in your pocket pulls you out of your daze, you glance down and see that Shotaro is calling you. The second you answer, he's asking if you were still on your way. Answering that you'd be there in less than ten minutes, you also add on that you just had the weirdest interaction with Seokmin and will need to talk about it with everyone during dinner. Hearing him relay the information to your crew, they cheer at the fact that they can start eating soon. Shotaro tells you to get there safely and you hang up the phone after humming in response.

You get to PANG! and when you enter, you're greeted with the comforting smell of scorched rice and kimchi jjigae. It doesn't take you long to find your friends as you hear their unmistakeable laughter. The first person to make eye contact with you is Jeonghan who immediately waves you down, scooting over to make space for you. As you're skipping over, Seungcheol scowls at Jeonghan getting all up in his space, until he realizes that it's for you. When you arrive at the table, his eyes crinkle up in a smile when he greets you. The mention of your name has everyone turning to the end of the table where you're situated and you're welcomed with smiles and cheers. Jeonghan jokingly snarks that you were holding up dinner.

"God, finally! I was scared Cheollie was gonna eat me if you had been any later!" Sitcom like laughter goes around the table.

"Shove it, Yoon." You reply without a second thought.

There are small gasps that go around and there's even a look of shock on Jeonghan's face. Anyone who knows you, knows that you're not necessarily one to shoot back any sass. It's just not who you are as a person. You're the kind of person that cries at old people getting eliminated off The Great British Bake Off. The person who will be late to a meeting just because you wanted to help a bee out of the walkway. The type of person to immediately apologize when you say something remotely snappy.

"Sorry," you say squeezing his arm as you slide into the seat. He ruffles your hair, knowing that you had no ill intent behind it. Seungcheol pinches Jeonghan's side, or that's what you assume when you feel him jump next to you.

"Don't be sorry, Sunshine, someone has to put him in his place every once in a while." Seungcheol comments as he places a kiss on Jeonghan's cheek, after the younger one whines that the two of you are bullying him. Your group laughs at their antics and when the volume dies down, food starts being laid out on your table. The spice and heat of kimchi stew floods your nose and wraps you in a warm velvety hug. The clanging of spoons and slurping of soup are the only sounds that can be heard from your table for the next couple of minutes. Every once in a while an involuntary moan comes from Jeonghan and you have to keep your composure to make sure you don't choke on the hot soup you're funneling into your mouth.

The sound of spoons quiets down as everyone empties their bowls. Shotaro's the first to ask about what held you up. After cooling down your burnt tongue, you delve into your encounter with Seokmin.

Seokmin's POV

The door slams before she even finishes her sentence. He hears his mother on the other line click her teeth.

Unbeknownst to you, you are not the only one recalling this conversation. On the other side of campus, Seokmin is taking in the office space where you left him. The first thing he notices is how the room distinctly smells like jasmine and lychee. He wants to crinkle his nose in disgust at the sweetness of it.

"What is it eomma?" Thinking that his mother was in pain, Seokmin focuses his entire attention onto the phone.

"That girl seemed nice, it was rude of you to not even greet her. Thought I raised you better than that." She says. A quick glance at the time tells him that his mother should be going to sleep soon.

"I'll be honest, I barely registered her." A sigh crackles through the phone. He fusses at her that she can give her commentary on his etiquette tomorrow.

"Seokmin-ah, you know I'll be fine right? You can let go a bit this year. It's your last year," his mother begins coughing and guilt etches into his gut. Seeing the concern in his face, she waves him off saying that she just has a dry throat. After taking a sip of water, she continues making her case. That he should be trying to enjoy his last year of school. That he's worked tirelessly for the past two years and deserves to have a little bit of fun. Her pleas fall on deaf ears as Seokmin waves her off, replying that he can have fun when he's earned it. When he graduates.

Another click of her teeth, to which he responds with a grunt. This is not the first time the two of them have had this debate. Him constantly insisting that his education is his key to making sure the family is settled while she worries that he might to live to regret that philosophy. This certainly will not be the last time they have this bout, but the two of them concede for now. After a few more exchanges, Seokmin bids his mother goodnight and is left to the office by himself.

The office that still smells like jasmine and lychee. Like you.

WEEK THREE

Monday morning rolls around and you are more than happy to still have a full day before you inevitably have to face Seokmin again. The interaction between the two of you had left an uneasy feeling in your stomach. To be quite honest, you were actually a bit irritated with that interaction. Not because he was rude, well yes there's that, but you were more slighted by the fact that he had left you to do all the heavy lifting of being a Head TA, while he just carelessly strolled in.

The sunlight is just beginning to break in your apartment, the first rays of sunlight reflecting onto the butter yellow wallpaper. Deciding that you were not going to let this random man ruin your academic career, you begin planning for a very productive but relatively chill day.

Today was as relaxing as it could be until your phone buzzes at half-past four. You were mid Great British Bake-off episode when you thought a quick glance at this notification turned into minutes of staring.

From: [email protected] To: [email protected], [email protected] Subject: Out for Lecture Good afternoon you two, It seems that I have somehow forgotten that tomorrow is the annual Humanities Department Spring Marathon. As I'm sure the both of you are familiar, this is something I take very seriously, to everyone's surprise, so I will not be in for tomorrow's lecture. I've attached the lecture slides as well as commentary in the slide notes, below. Y/N, I trust that you'll be able to take the lead and do well. Seokmin, I heard that you've returned to campus. Schedule a meeting with me before the week is up. Additionally, be a pillar of support to YN as the two of you cover for me tomorrow. Take Care, Dr. Choi Minho, Ph.D Anthropology Department | Seoyeon University Office Phone: +82 032 1290526 ext. 1991

Your breath catches in your throat as you reach the end of Dr. Choi's email. There are two lines of thought splitting your brain in half right now: you're honored that Dr. Choi is appointing you the lead, but you now have to lead an entire lecture by yourself. You obviously have some experience in teaching, but this would be the first time that you're teaching to a group this size, by yourself. Your nerves are even higher, anticipating your next interaction with Seokmin.

Mentally thanking yourself for looking through course material this morning, you open the lecture slides and get to work on familiarizing yourself with Dr. Choi's notes. You work at this presentation tirelessly for the entire day, your anxiety a driving force for you to do well.

The Following Day

Once again you show up to class earlier than usual. This time though you are shaking with nerves. You hate how unsure of yourself you feel, cursing Lee Seokmin for his absence. You have half the mind to back out last minute and ask Dr. Choi if you can just cancel class.

Realizing that doing that would not set a good impression, you beg Jeonghan to meet you early to help you prepare everything. He merely texts you back the saluting emoji and you feel yourself breathe a little easier. While you wait for him, you start setting up by yourself.

You fish out a connecting adapter from your bag and plug in your laptop. It successfully connects but then the projector is displaying the animal video that you were crying at this morning. You then take the extra measure to make sure that any extra tabs and windows are closed. Taking it a step further, you even turn off your notifications.

Once you're confident that you won't have any surprises on your laptop, you get to work on setting up the cork board. You find the board in its usual spot and you begin to wheel it out. Unfortunately for you, every little inconvenience is popping up for you today because, one of the wheels of the board gets stuck in a divot on the floor. The click of a door unlocking comes from behind you and you immediately assume that Jeonghan is here to rescue you from your misery.

"Thank God, you're here! Can you come help me with the bo—" The next thing you hear is a scoff and in surprise, you whip your head around. What you see isn't the blonde man you were texting this morning, but Lee Seokmin. You can feel the shock in your eyes. There was a question in your mind whether or not he would actually show up this week.

Since your unfortunate introduction to him, he still had not responded to your previous emails. You were mulling the probability of him showing up to class when you were preparing last night. And now here he is, wearing the same scowl on his face the night you two met.

"Hi again! Sorry I thought you were someone else. Could you uh, help me with the board? I think the wheel is stuck or something."

He wordlessly comes up and effortlessly gets the board unstuck from its spot. Squeaking out a thanks, you wheel the board to its normal spot. When you've finished, you notice him looking at the board. You're unable to make out what he's thinking and the silence feels uncomfortable, so you begin to fill it.

"Right, so I'm not sure how many of my emails you've read or if Dr. Choi has explained anything. Basically for the entire semester, the students can come before or after class to share examples of love." You give him the same spiel that Minho have gave the students on the first day of class. When you eventually finish, he scoffs and makes a comment that you can't hear.

"Oh, I wasn't able to catch that, I'm sorry."

"I said, that's pointless." He says, pointing to the cork board.

You're about to respond, but then Jeonghan comes bustling into the lecture hall. There's also a look of surprise on his face when he makes eye contact with Seokmin. The younger one merely nods and retreats to the back row of seats. Jeonghan joins you at the podium and hands you a coffee.

"Sorry would have gotten here earlier, but y'know Cheol is clingy in the mornings." He says and you laugh, remembering how you had to keep honking outside of Jeonghan's door last semester.

"Anyways, you all ready? I'll stay up here in case you need anything during lecture today." For the second time today, you're cut off from responding as your students file in.

Seokmin's POV

A little annoyed that he was having to walk into a class, completely unprepared, Seokmin was not having a great morning. When he opens the door to the lecture hall he, he's hit with the same lingering scent from last week. Before you face him, you're already rambling about how he was a lifesaver, immediately he deduces that you were not talking about him. There's no way that anyone who had the interaction you two had last week would call Seokmin a lifesaver the following one.

He sees you standing on the stage trying to pull out a cork board. You're dressed in black slacks and a long-sleeved white button up. A fairly normal outfit, but the thing that makes you stand out is the bright butter yellow scarf that's being used as a tie.

You're explaining the board to him and Seokmin finds himself getting annoyed at this exercise. He thinks to himself why Minho would even do something like this. He'd never done anything like this in the past, so why now?

He mutters his displeasure by muttering that it was pointless under his breath. When you ask him to repeat himself, he's a little stunned but he does so anyways. The drop in your face was definitely a sight to see. The door opens before you can say anything in response and Seokmin finds himself walking to the back of the room.

While waiting for class to start, he sees you nervously flitting at the podium. Every once in a while Jeonghan makes you laugh and Seokmin hates the way it makes him feel.

It's sweet, just like jasmine and lychee.

WEEK FOUR

"Alright, that's all for today's lecture," Dr. Choi announces as he ends the presentation. You look up from your notes and make eye contact with Dr. Choi. He signals to the rest of the class, reminding your students that the TA's are hosting a last minute drop-in session for questions about the upcoming midterm. When he makes that announcement, he directs their attention to you. All eighty of the students are blinking at you and you warmly smile at them in return.

"I'll send out a more detailed notice about the drop-in later tonight. Come with good questions!"

The chatter in the lecture hall dies out as the students leave. You head up to the stage to help the others pack up the board. As you do so, your professor is making small talk with you.

"This board has been gathering quite the attention."

You laugh in agreement and question if this exercise has had much success in the past. Dr. Choi shrugs and admits that this is the first time he's done the board and you cannot hide the look of bewilderment on your face. It seems that you are not the only one to have this reaction as Chaewon and Altair also have shock in their eyes. The three of you laugh in unison when you all make eye contact.

It's like all the joy gets taken out of the room when you hear the unmistakable scoff of Seokmin as he sees the board. You're shocked for a second time this morning, that he would openly mock something that is supposed to be a fun and engaging learning tool for students. You knew he was annoyed

"Not a fan, Seokmin?" Dr. Choi asks with a teasing lilt in his voice. You expect Seokmin to back down, but he doubles down and outright affirms his distaste for the board.

"Definitely not."

Jeonghan enters behind him and claps him on the back. You do not miss the irritation that is bubbling in the younger one's eyes.

"He only says that because he's never experienced a love that breaks through his grumpy wall," Jeonghan jokes. A few of the eager and early students catch Jeonghan's comment and snicker to themselves. You also stifle a giggle and walk over to smack Jeonghan on the back of his neck.

"Leave him alone, Jeonghan." The older man whines and pouts at you, rubbing his neck over-dramatically causing the students to giggle over him even more. You roll your eyes and begin to pack up your things. As you and your friends are making your way out, one of your students stops you. They tell you they won't be able to make it to the session tonight and had a question. Telling the bunch that you'll meet them later, you have a chat with your student.

Seokmin's POV

It's the end of class and Minho makes his way to Seokmin.

"I'm still owed a meeting, Seokmin."

Seokmin nods quietly. To the outside person, one would think that his focus is on the book he's carrying in his hands. However, just a little to the left is where you stand, getting ready to leave with the rest of the TAs.

Minho is able to snap Seokmin's attention back when he asks about his family.

"My sister is fine and my mother could be—" Just as easily as the topic of his family can take his attention, so does your laugh. Seokmin finds himself looking up and away the second he hears it. He feels the same funny feeling he did the week before, when he heard your laugh for the first time.

At the drop-in session

Seokmin is genuinely surprised by how many students have actually shown up to this drop-in session. Most of the time in his discussion sections, for this class and those in the past, it's mostly him talking. Occasionally, he would have one student who would chime in, but he'd never seen anything like this.

The five TA's are spread out across the department's conference room and students who came in could take their pick in TAs to ask their questions. It came as no surprise to Seokmin that found himself without a student a majority of the time. He quite honestly preferred it. The only reason he was there was because he had to be. Minho would've chewed him up if he missed another responsibility as a head TA.

This isn't the normal him. Or at least, it used to not be. Seokmin cared. So much. But then his mother fell ill and financial responsibilities began to pile up. The professor he was working under left Seoyeon and that meant there was nothing funding his post-doctoral career. To Lee Seokmin, Dr. Choi Minho is something of a guardian angel. Minho was a visiting professor turned full-time who happily took Seokmin under his care. Somewhere along the way, Seokmin found himself to be the current version that everyone steered clear from. He told himself it was better this way. No one to drag down. No one else to disappoint.

His reminiscing on his younger self is cut short when a student clears their throat next to him. Seokmin looks up and indifferently gestures to the seat in front of him. He tries not to be annoyed by the fact that he actually had to do his job, but the student literally had no other choice. The rest of the cohort were already working with their own students. Seokmin doesn't recognize the one sitting in front of him, he assumes that they must belong to someone else's discussion section.

The student, who introduces herself as Jihyun, pulls out one of the textbooks for the class. What shocks Seokmin is when she flips to the beginning section and asks a question that, by this point in the semester, she should have already known.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," he mutters under his breath. He must've not been quiet enough because the student stares at him. Her eyes are in shock and look like they're about to burst with tears.

"I-I'm s-sorry?" Jihyun quivers out.

Seokmin doesn't really know what comes over him. All he knows is that he cannot stop himself from the barrage of words that fly out of him.

"You should be. I mean, I cannot believe you're here wasting my time over a question that you damn well should know the answer to!"

A few heads have turned at the decibels of his voice raising. Jihyun is stunned into silence, unsure of how she should respond. It's shark week and her fear sends Seokmin into an emotional frenzy.

"I mean seriously! Do you actually expect to get anywhere in this class, much less life, if you can't get this?! This is a simple and foundational fucking concept!"

This breaks the dam in Jihyun because she runs out of the conference room in tears. Everyone in the room was staring at Seokmin, you included. Just a few minutes before his outburst, you had wrapped up with one of your own students. You'd heard the first comment and frowned at the harshness, but kept to yourself because you expected he'd at least have the decency to tone it down after. When he dug even further, you were sent into your own frenzy.

"Lee Seokmin!" You yell out from across the room. His head whips towards you.

"What the fuck is your actual problem?!" You yell, as you stomp towards him. He's a whole head taller than you but he feels himself shrinking.

"I don't know who you think you are! Where the hell do you get off berating MY students?!" Seokmin raises his eyebrow slightly at the possessive over the students. You don't miss it.

"Yes, mine. Since for the last three fucking weeks I've been doing all the fucking work as Head TA!"

You stick a finger in his chest and continue to yell at him.

"You do not get to act this way. You are supposed to be someone the students can come to, not someone they run crying from!"

Seokmin can do nothing but blink when you exit the room. You have Jihyun's things in your hands and he hears you call out for her. He turns his head to the rest of the conference room and when he makes eye contact with Jeonghan, the older one does nothing but whistle and laugh.

WEEK FIVE

It's been a couple of days since your outburst at Seokmin and you're sitting in Jeonghan's apartment stressing over it. The second you'd finished yelling at him, you felt awful. The way you were feeling honestly probably felt very comparable to what Jihyun felt.

You hated yelling. Especially when you were angry. There was just something about that night and the way he yelled at Jihyun that drove you over the edge.

"I don't know why you're stressing, he had it coming," Jeonghan says as he pours you a glass of water. The blond had invited you over for a movie night. Seungcheol appears before you can respond.

"Who had what coming?" The older man greeting his lover with a kiss on the cheek.

"Seokmin, I kinda lost it on him," you say sheepishly. Cheol comes around the kitchen island and gives you a hug.

"Mmm, Jeonghan's right, he probably deserved it."

You sigh and pout at the two of them. Cheol laughs and assures you that he was only kidding. You give him the full context of what happened and while he mulls over his response, Jeonghan chimes in.

"I'm being serious! Honestly it's about time someone stood up to him." Your friend goes back to the cupboards in search of snacks for your movie night. An eye roll comes from you while his back is turned and Cheol has to fight a giggle from coming out.

"Have you reached out to him?" Cheol asks. You nod, explaining that you'd sent him an email. He reassures you that Seokmin's probably just not used to someone putting him in his place or giving much of a fight. Telling you not to worry about it for the rest of the night, he retreats to the office space in the apartment for the rest of the night.

"Is Cheol working? It's a holiday week, why is he working?" You ask Jeonghan as the two of you sit down on his couch.

"Dissertation defense waits for no one," he says matter-of-factly. You let out a puff of air and express relief that you don't actively have to worry about that for quite some time. The two of you bicker over what movie to watch, but eventually settle on the LEGO movie.

By the time the movie's over it's late and Jeonghan's drool is dangerously close to getting on your lap. Gently, you make your escape from the couch. Rolling your eyes at the fact that he fell asleep, you quietly tiptoe out of the living room. The door to Cheol's home office is cracked open and you lightly tap on it. A hum from him has you poking your head in.

"Hey, I'm heading out for the night. Hannie's asleep on the couch," You say softly.

"Need a ride home?"

Shaking your head no, you jingle your car keys softly at him. He nods and hops up from his desk to walk you out. When you get to the door, you jerk your head towards the couch and remind Cheol to move him before he wakes up with a crick in his neck. The two of you share a laugh as he walks you to your car. Wrapping you in a hug he wishes you a good night and to drive safely.

You're backing out of their lot and start the drive home. It doesn't take you very long to get back to your palce, but your mind is focused on one thing: Seokmin. Well not necessarily him, more the emotional unloading you did on him last week. When park your car, you sit and thumb through the email you had sent profusely apologizing to him. You'd written it immediately after the session ended, which was right after you left the room to unite Jihyun with her items.

There was still no reply, the only thing in that email line was the familiar orange text of a nudge reminder. You sigh and contemplate whether or not you should write another apology email. Almost as if he had some sort of telepathic superpower, you get a text from Seungcheol asking if you had gotten home safely. You took that as a sign to head in for the night and not lose sleep over this.

It's Saturday when you actually hear from Seokmin.

From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Subject: RE: My Sincerest Apologies Y/N,You were right I was out of line. I've since reached out to Jihyun. Lee Seokmin Ph.D Candidate Anthropology | Seoyeon University

You are stunned to say the least. You're out with Jeonghan when you get the notification and you immediately show him.

He raises his brows in surprise, "Well that's… something."

It's your first email reply from him. It also happens to be outside of the working hours, so you're even more shocked.

Later in the evening, you're sitting in the department office after Dr. Choi asked for a quick meeting between all the TA's. He assured you all it was nothing serious, he was only sharing information about the class. True to his word, he gathered your group together to share some revisions to the syllabus and some deadlines he needed to switch around to accommodate some previous responsibilities he had. When the meeting started you hadn't seen Seokmin, but as it ended you found him leaning against the back of the wall.

Chenle turns to everyone and suggests going out for food and drinks since it's essentially the last day of break. All of you happily agree and start making your way out the office. As you're passing by Seokmin, you stop and let the others pass you.

"Hey, we're all grabbing dinner together. Would you like to come?" You ask the senior. From the corner of your eye, you see everyone has turned back in surprise. Seokmin is also quite surprised.

"Me?"

You nod enthusiastically. Telling him it would be fun and also sheepishly saying that you still feel awful about the last in-person interaction the two of you had. He hesitantly says yes and you squeal in delight.

"C'mon everyone, it'll be fun right?!" You don't miss the shared look between everyone else, but you pay them no mind. They all immediately get on board when you shout that you'd be buying the first round of soju.

You're all sitting around the table at PANG! Luckily with the holiday, the place isn't filled with students. You've all eaten your food and it's time for you to pony up and provide the first round. After asking everyone for their flavors, you head to the counter to pay for the bottles. Before you reach the counter, Chenle calls out and asks you to bring some beers too. You roll your eyes, knowing that this request is only being asked because he wants to play drinking games. As you wait for the server to ring you up, you see Seokmin come up.

"Hi!" You say as you lean on the counter. He smiles at you and you are dazzled by his smile.

"Can I help you with those?" He points to the bottles and cans that have appeared next to your elbow. You nod excitedly and begin to hand them over. He lets you go ahead and while you're walking back, you make eye contact with Jeonghan who is wiggling his eyebrows at the sight of you and Seokmin. You shrug and mouth for him to shut up as you hand out everyone's bottles. Everyone takes their first sips and return to their earlier conversations.

The second you sit down, Chenle yells out for a game of Titanic. Immediately, him and Jeonghan set up for the game and force everyone to sit closer to each other. Seokmin just happens to be sitting next to you and there is a scheming look from Jeonghan that you decide to question later. The younger one of the bunch explain the rules of the game.

"It's simple. Pour the soju into the shot glass, whoever sinks it has to drink the whole thing!"

Chenle suddenly yells for a game off rock, paper, scissors to determine who goes first. To his chagrin, he loses and has to start the first pour. When he fills the glass more than halfway full, Chaewon, Altair and you yell at him that he's not being fair. You turn to the two older men at the table and whine to try and get them to reign in Chenle. Jeonghan is no help, he just throws his hands up and laughs. Seokmin's response happily surprises all of you.

"A game's a game."

The three of you complaining start booing him and Chenle is quick to his defense, saying that Seokmin is right. It's Chaewon's turn and your jaw drops when she pours an amount that guarantees you to be the person sinking the glass. Chenle cackles and claps like a seagull when you call her a traitor. Unfortunately for you, a single drop is all takes and you're watching the soju and beer mix together. All in good fun, you shoot Chenle a dirty look and down the drink. It's been a while since you'd been out drinking, so the alcohol hits you not too long after.

A couple more rounds of Titanic are played and since Chenle wanted to play dirty, all bets were off. Elbows were being jerked during pours, some of you used Chenle's earlier technique, Jeonghan cleverly distracted Seokmin during a pour. By the end of the final game, three of you had to drink the loser drink.

The next game was sam, yuk, gu, better known as 3,6,9. Jeonghan gives everyone a refresher on the game. Going around the table, you all count off but any time the number three, six or nine was said you had to clap. The number of times you had to clap was dependent on how many times the number appeared. It didn't take you all very long until someone had to drink. That someone happens to be you when the alcohol in your system gets you to stutter at thirteen. The laughter and alcohol warm your cheeks as you take another drink. As the game progresses, the lot of you get drunker and before you know it you're all a laughing mess when Chenle yells the number three.

The last game of the night happens when you're down to the last shot. You're the one that initiates the game, your words beginning to slur as you explain. Gathering a bottlecap, you explain that whoever flicks off the metal rim will have to take a drink. Seokmin starts and the cap makes its way around, all the way to you. Luck was nowhere near your side because when you flick the end of the metal it goes flying. Everyone else cheers, but you groan and whine.

"Do I haaaave to?"

A resounding yes comes from everyone and you tip your head back to drink the last of the bottle. Your face twists at the slight burn of it going down and you slam the shot glass down on the table.

"W-well. I'm tapped!," you begin to get up, but the sudden move has the blood rush down and you get a little wobbly. Seokmin's able to get you in time and he steadies you. A giggle comes from you.

"Sunshine, you gonna be okay to get home? If you don't mind waiting, Cheol can drive you from mine." Jeonghan asks you when he sees your unsteady gait. You're about to whine that you're a big girl and can walk yourself back just fine, but Seokmin cuts in and says that he'll walk you home. You say your goodbyes and you drunkenly make everyone pinky promise to text you when they get home.

You and Seokmin start the walk home and you can barely keep yourself upright.

"Oops!" You giggle when you stumble on the sidewalk. His hand reaches out and steadies you. Turning to him, you turn and give him a wobbly curtsy. When you meet eyes with him, you're struck with the most genuis idea and you gasp. Concern is etched on his face and then you loudly say that you have a great idea.

"You should sooooo give me a piggy-back ride!"

Before he can fully object, you jump and cling onto his back.

Seokmin's POV

There isn't much he can do except accept his fate. Making sure that you're secure, he begins walking in the direction of your place, under your slurred instructions. He carries you in silence for a minute until you hiccup. You giggle to yourself and Seokmin swears he feels something bloom in his chest. He suddenly becomes very aware of his senses. Even though the smell of soju is strong, he can still find the scents that he's come to associate with you: jasmine and lychee.

After your hiccup, Seokmin feels your finger poking his cheek.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah, why are you so grumpy all the time?"

"Not all the time."

You remind him that he literally made a student cry not that long ago. He sighs and reminds you that he had already reached out to Jihyun so that he could apologize. Under your breath, you slip out that apologizing to her was the bare minimum. He jokes that he can let you off his back and he hates how much he likes it when you cling onto him tighter.

"You still haven't answered my question. And you can't answer with 'I just am'. Because I know you're capable of not being grumpy, especially after today."

Seokmin stews in silence for a little bit. He mulls over the risk of being vulnerable with someone who isn't his family. When he hears you giggle to yourself about the stars, he concludes that you likely won't remember this conversation so he starts talking.

"It wasn't always like this. I actually used to be like you, believe it or not." You make a sound of surprise and he finds it incredibly endearing. Describing his younger self, he's reminiscing of a long-gone version of him like he was a few weeks ago.

"My funding got cut and then my mother got sick. Between those two things, I was burning the candle at both ends. Something had to give and I guess it was me…" he says wistfully.

"It became easier to care less, I don't know."

You're quiet and for a second Seokmin thinks that you might have fallen asleep. But then you pipe up and the first thing that comes from you is an apology. Sharing that while you may not understand what its like to be in his shoes, you can understand the demands and insane amount of stress he was under. Leaning your head on his back, you hug him tighter and tell him that things will be okay.

Eventually, the two of you get to your apartment and he gently lets you off him. The two of you are facing each other and the space between the two of you is pretty much nonexistent. You look up at him and in the warm glow of your porchlight, he can see the different shades in your eyes.

"Well this is me," you say with a dreamy smile. Seokmin nods and he wonders why he feels stuck in place. Your eyes take a slow blink and Seokmin finds himself closing the distance between the two of you. The scent of jasmine and lychee is full force when he grazes your soft lips. Before the kiss can go anywhere else the wind flows through your windchimes and it gets you to pull away from him. You unlock your door and start to head in.

Seokmin begins to turn to start his walk home, which happens to be in the opposite direction but you don't know that. Before he makes it far you call out to him.

"Seokmin?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm awfully fond of this side of you. I hope I get to see him more."

WEEK SIX

The week off from class has severely messed with your circadian rhythm. On top of the fact that you had been out drinking, it was truly a recipe for you being late. When your eyes open from the sun beaming in your face, you are hauntingly reminded of how little water you drank the night before. Grumbling, you roll over and blindly feel for your phone. Once you feel it in your hand, you take a look and immediately shoot straight out of bed. The speed at which you get up causes you to stumble over the duvet that you kicked off in your sleep. You are rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and mentally cursing yourself for not taking care of yourself the night before.

You step into the bathroom and quickly splash water on your face. When you come up and catch your reflection, you're relieved that drunk you at least remembered to clean your face last night. Scurrying to your closet, you grab a cream penny tee and some faded jeans. Normally, you'd like to be a little more put together especially when you have a class to teach, but you just don't have the time to do anything else.

You grab your phone and see an endless scroll of text messages from Jeonghan asking for your whereabouts. The last text he sent you was a threat to call emergency services if you didn't respond within the next ten minutes. Quickly responding that you'd be at lecture within the next twenty minutes.

It's worth noting that you aren't technically late as class hasn't even started yet. But you're the person that shows up at least thirty minutes early and normally you would have already been in the lecture hall setting up for class. Grabbing your scarf and a thick jacket from the back of your bedroom door, you speed into your living room. Thankfully, your work bag was still sitting on your couch, unpacked from two Friday's ago, you sling the straps over your shoulder as you're shoving your feet into a pair of heeled boots. Hoping that the added height makes you look a little more put together, you make your way out of your apartment.

You get to campus in record time and book it to your lecture hall. You walk into the hall and the entire room is buzzing. The students have all gathered at the front of the room, crowding over the board. So far this entire semester, you'd never seen them make a fuss over the board. Making eye contact with Jeonghan, you question why the students are so excited. He's about to answer you, but then Dr. Choi walks in and announces that it's time to start class. The two of you take your normal seats in the back and you forget about the board until the end of the lecture, when Dr. Choi makes an announcement about it.

"Before I forget! I appreciate the enthusiasm you all have shown towards the board. That being said, I wasn't intending for it to be a confession board."

Your eyes are wide and you smack Jeonghan's arm in shock. He giggles and shakes his head. Dr. Choi lists off another couple of announcements regarding class and then bids everyone goodbye. Turning to Jeonghan, you smack him again.

"Ah! Woman what is it and your penchant for hitting me as a strong emotional reaction?!" He says jokingly as he rubs his arm. You quickly apologize and all but run to the board. You get to the board and smack dab in the middle is the confession post that had everyone enamored.

the first time i saw you, it felt like clouds parted the sky everyone has been talking about kinds of love and you are the only person i've come across that even makes me believe that love might be real is what i feel love or a deep infatuation? honestly right now i couldn't tell the difference i hope that when i do figure it out i'll get the courage to tell you in person one day - m

There's a small chill that runs through your spine. You turn around and look for Seokmin, there's something in your gut that has you wondering whether or not he had something to do with it. Jeonghan pulls you out of your thoughts when he comes up behind you.

"You look like you've seen a ghost. You okay?"

"Uh. Maybe? I don't know I'm freakin' out a little."

The two of you walk out of the lecture hall and he prods you for more information. You wave him off telling him that you need to prepare for your discussion section later. He seems hesitant to let you go, but for as much as you know him, he knows you. And he knows that you have your reasons for keeping whatever this is close to your chest.

As you sit in your classroom, your mind is unable to focus on anything but the confession note. Something in your gut is making you wonder whether or not that note was about you. You thank your lucky stars that you had planned to watch a supplementary documentary during your section. It worked out because you knew the students were still quite hyped over the confession and this made sure they weren't talking about. You wrapped up your discussion section by reminding them to make sure they do the reading for this week as you have a quiz planned for them in the following week.

There luckily isn't another class that uses the same classroom you do for another hour, so you take your time packing up. You spend this time convincing yourself that the note just happens to be a coincidence. The note itself is very vague and could literally be about anyone. You also recount the fact that Seokmin has vocally shared his distaste for the activity and the idea behind it. The biggest thing that convinces you that this is a coincidence is the timing of it all. Of course you would think that it's about you, the two of you shared a nice moment very recently.

You finally finish packing up and make your way out of the classroom. Before you head home, you decide to stop by your office to drop some things off. As you exit the stairwell of the building, you run into Seokmin.

"Hey! Did you just finish up with a section?" He asks, and you swear you see the smallest smile on his lips. Nodding, you let him know that you decided that this was the week you were showing the documentary. You then ask him what he was doing in the same building.

"Weekly seminar," he says with a sigh. You nod in understanding, you lucked out this semester with not having to take a seminar, but you remember last semester. The two of you find yourselves at the front of department office building and it only then dawns on you that the two of you were walking the same way.

"Hey, can I ask you a kind of weird question?"

He's in front of you now and he raises a brow in anticipation.

Before you can get a word out, his phone rings. He's quick to apologize and you urge him to take the call.

"Find me later?" He says before connecting the phone to his ear.

You nod and wave goodbye as he walks in the opposite direction, back where you had come from.

THE INSTANT LOVE AND HATE

Wonwoo likes and dislikes things at a gradual pace.

Like the first video game that made an impact on his life.

Spyro, the game about the little dragon who goes on many different adventures. He didn't know what it was about it but he only liked it when he first played it. However, by the end of the game series, he loved it. It was a gradual change. He found himself talking about it more and more with his family whenever his mother had asked him what he was up to, then he talked about it more with his friends at school and then to anyone that he had met in his IT club.

His first dislike was also gradual. There were some guys in his class that were into some games that required a lot of hours and a lot of grinding. He found it annoying at first but the more he tried to play them — in a fear of not fitting in with his classmates — the more annoyed he felt by it. Hence, he stopped after three weeks and never sought out grindy games again.

However, there are two instances in Wonwoo's life where he distinctively remembers loving or hating something.

The instant love? When he was introduced to League of Legends through a friends birthday at a gaming cafe. The minute Wonwoo's fingers touched that keyboard, he knew this game would be one that he would be playing forever. He instantly loved it. He loved how fast-paced it was, how much strategy it required and what he loved most of all? He was fucking incredible at it.

It was as if he had been playing this game for years, even the friend that had introduced it to him, commended him on it and jokingly told Wonwoo that if there was a way to make a career out of this, Wonwoo should instantly go for it.

Wonwoo had laughed it off that day and shoved his friend but when he went home that day, he couldn't stop thinking about it. Could he really make a career out of this?

He tossed and turned in bed, unable to shake that feeling in his chest before he gave in and searched it up. After an immense amount of research, he found himself staring at the entryway to GOSE HQ, a company that not only developed fast paced strategy games, but also had open auditions for an e-sports team that they were trying to put together.

Wonwoo's parents thought he was crazy. Hell, even Wonwoo thought he was crazy but the second his fingers that keyboard, all his doubts instantly cleared from his mind. It was as if he had blacked out because the next moment, 'VICTORY' had shown up on his screen in giant letters.

He blinked at the screen for a few moments before he clicked next and saw his username there, top of the leaderboard.

Safe to say, life was never the same for Wonwoo after that. He joined the GAM3BOIs with seven others who had made it through the audition and had instantly clicked with all of them upon the first meeting.

It was a fun filled decade after that, they went on to win competition after competition and Wonwoo swore that his life couldn't get better than that.

Well, there is one thing that could make it better.

"You gotta be fucking kidding."

Jeonghan, the vice captain, gives a tight smile at Wonwoo's dry outburst before the latter turns to Seungcheol, his nonchalant look cracking when he meets Seungcheol's serious face. "He's kidding right, Cheol?"

Seungcheol heaves out a heavy sigh at Wonwoo's words, pinching the bridge of his nose as he shakes his head, feeling a migraine coming on.

"Does it look like he's kidding, Wonwoo?" He asks, a tired edge to his words as he leans against the console behind him.

Wonwoo resists the urge to say an instant 'yes' when he sees his teammates looking at him with a knowing look on their faces.

"We can't be going onto the same program show as the ST4RL1GHTs." Wonwoo repeats, in slight disbelief. "Aren't they on some promotional tour for their new game that's coming out?"

The two captains share a look. "They are." Jeonghan starts, a small smile on his face as he crosses his arms. "But this promotional program is in two weeks. It was a request from the host of the program so both our management and their management thought it was a good idea and good publicity for the top two teams to be seen together. Hence," Jeonghan casts a quick glance towards Seungcheol as he gnaws on his bottom lip before continuing. "They rearranged our schedule with the ST4RL1GHTs so that we can all make the program on the same day."

Wonwoo feels dread crawling through his veins. "Is there any way for us to skip the program?" He finds himself asking.

Jeonghan tongues his cheek before sending Seungcheol a look. Seungcheol, however, fixes Wonwoo with an unreadable look as he scans him, as if calculating what to say next.

"And why." Seungcheol asks, his eyebrows raising. "Would you need to know that, Jeon?"

A little fear surges through Wonwoo's veins at Seungcheol's use of his last name.

Wonwoo should have taken that as a cue to say, 'just wondering' and let the rest of the promotional content meeting continue but his mind is plagued by the amount of dread in his veins.

"I refuse to be on the same program as her." Wonwoo says bluntly, crossing his arms as he stares at the team captain. The room becomes eerily quiet as the tension rises slightly. Wonwoo feels his teammates eyes burning at the back of his head but he didn't care. There is no way that he can be civil with you in the same room.

Soonyoung — codename: Hoshi, lets out an awkward laugh as he senses the tension in the room. He reaches over to sling an arm around Wonwoo's shoulders making the man grunt as he pats him, a little too happily.

"Wonwoo~" Soonyoung coos, trying to ease the tension. "It's just a few hours, besides they might not make the two of you interact! You can be on the other side of the room and—"

Wonwoo lets out a stubborn scoff before shaking his head. "No." He interrupts. "I can't and won't be in the same room as Icy. I refuse."

"Wonwoo—" Soonyoung tries again before Seungcheol cuts him off by clearing his throat and waving the younger man off. Soonyoung looks between the two before he sighs and removes his arm away from Wonwoo. He purses his lips and rolls his chair back.

Seungcheol lets out a slow exhale before pushing himself off of the console behind him in favour of leaning against the table.

"I think that's more of a 'you' issue, Jeon." The team captain says sternly, his eyes filled with a stubborn fire. "I know the two of you can't get along but this program means something to all of us." Seungcheol gestures to the rest of the team members. "So, I need you to put this stupid rivalry with Icy away for just three to four hours while we record the program and the two of you can go back to hating each other's guts right after. If not," Seungcheol stares Wonwoo down as his voice lowers by two octaves. "I will make sure that you're benched for the season."

Wonwoo's eyes widen upon hearing Seungcheol's words. "You can't—"

Seungcheol cuts him off. "I can and I will if you screw up this opportunity for the team, Jeon. This is one of the biggest programs that we've been invited— requested to be on. It will bring a lot of publicity for the team and frankly, I think this rivalry between you and Icy has gone a little too far behind just the screen."

Wonwoo bites the inside of his cheek before he looks down, feeling a slight bit of rage in his veins. Seungcheol lets out a sigh before massaging his temple, unsure if he took it too far. He lowers his leader persona, running a hand through his hair before levelling Wonwoo wth another gaze that's softer than before.

"I know you can be better than this, Wonwoo." The older man softly says, watching Wonwoo's unreadable expression. "You've also been wanting to go onto this program so please. It's just for three hours."

Silence envelops the room after Seungcheol breathes out the last few words. The team members exchange looks with each other.

Wonwoo lets his eyes move from Seungcheol's genuine expression to Jeonghan's cautious one before he takes a quick glance at his team members.

He lets out a ragged sigh. "Fine." He softly says, the disdain in his voice a little evident. He sees Seungcheol's shoulders slump a little in relief before standing up.

"I need some air." He says, not bothering to look up from the floor. "I'll find out the rest of the promotional calendar after this."

Wonwoo speeds out of the room without so much as another word as the glass door violently swings close behind him. The rest of the team collectively heave out a breath as they relax more into their chairs, the tension easing.

"Well!" Soonyoung chirps. "That could've gone worse!"

Jihoon — codename: Woozi — scoffs at the blonde's statement. "It could've also gone a lot better." He says without an ounce of remorse. "It was like we were killing him slowly."

"We might as well have been." Minghao — codename: The8 — mutters, swaying in his chair.

Seungcheol lets out a sigh as he pushes himself off of the table. "He'll get over it."

"You sure?" Jeonghan asks, raising an eyebrow as he crosses his arms. "We basically just told him that if he doesn't 'behave', we're benching him for the first half of the season." He tilts his head to the side. "Are you going to actually follow through with that if he screws up the program?"

Seungcheol internally curses himself, he knows he needs to set an example for his teammates. They may be a close knit group but they also had a job to do and Seungcheol's the team leader. The responsibility of leading this group to be the best they can be, depends on him.

"He won't." Seungcheol answers easily, his voice wavering a little that lets the rest of his team members know that he isn't quite sure of the answer himself. "Let's just get back to the rest of the promotional calendar."

The rest of the team share a look with each other as Seungcheol spares a quick glance towards where Wonwoo had exited from before he sighs, he really hopes his words will be true.

Because the one thing that Wonwoo had instantly hated, was you.

TABOO WORDS

You shuffle uncomfortably in your makeup chair as your stylist fixes a few strands of your hair. You know you shouldn't be nervous. You've done promotional reality content shows with the rest of your team before and being the witty and sarcastic person you were, you're the perfect guest for these kind of shows.

Not to mention that you've actually been dreaming on appearing on this particular reality show for the longest time. However, all you can think about is the annoyingly handsome guy that you need to be civil with for the next few hours.

You didn't know what sparked this rivalry between the two of you, but the hate was instant. It was probably the way he always had this cocky aura around him and he was not as nonchalant as he wanted to be. It was just a little insufferable.

You probably wouldn't have been so pressed about it if he was just a good sport. It was one of the first few matches of the season, a friendly tournament that didn't affect your placing for the overall season, just something to get the players warmed up.

You were bright-eyed and new and ecstatic to be playing against some of the players you watched during your free time. You've always been good at League, multiple of your friends trying to encourage you to get into the e-sports world but you were always scared to do so and it irked your friends till the end of time.

Hence, they made you attend an open audition without your knowledge and the next thing you knew, you were one of the newest recruits for ST4RL1GHT.

So, during that first friendly competition, you were actually excited to meet the stellar players, especially said handsome guy in glasses. However, you were also really good at League and when you had beat that star-studded player, you had heard him mutter 'beginners luck' under his breath and that made your heart instantly drop into your throat.

I guess it was true that you should never meet your heroes.

"Ready?" Jihyo, your team captain asks which jolts you out of your thoughts. You sit up straighter and send her a smile through the mirror as she stands behind you.

"Yeah." You mutter out, dusting off your leather outfit that the stylist has put you in. "I think so at least."

Jihyo sends you an empathetic smile as she helps you off the high chair. "Well, just remember what we all told you in the hotel room the other day. Just don't make eye contact with him, only interact with him when you need to and smile as if seeing him doesn't make you want to jump out of the building."

You let out a snort at her words. "I'll do my best." You reply dryly, your eyebrows furrowing at the thought of having to be nice to the guy who basically said your win was luck based.

You think you would rather go into a League game blindfolded.

Jihyo sends you one last smile before she rounds up the rest of the girls on the team. You smile as they all assemble in a line, Yunjin immediately taking the spot next to you as she hooks her arm through yours. Chaewon, Kazuha, Eun Chae and Sakura all stand facing Jihyo as well as the vice captain, Tzuyu, awaiting the quick briefing before the eight of you get called for standby.

"Alright, we aren't sure what the program is for today but knowing the history of this show, they will most likely make us play a few games with the GAM3BOIs, it will be a competitive time but," Jihyo sends you all a look of unwavering confidence. "I'm sure we will be able to beat them."

A few murmurs of agreements rise from the rest of you.

"And the whole line-up is here today?" Yunjin asks, flashing you a quick glance. Jihyo's eyes flit to you for a moment before nodding.

"Yeah." Jihyo easily answers. "Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Soonyoung, Jihoon, Vernon, Minghao, Jun and…" Her tongue wets her lips. "Wonwoo."

His name immediately makes your expression sour and everyone's gaze falls onto you, as if his name was some taboo word that sets you off immediately. Instead, you shrug, silently willing for this day to be over.

"I'm fine." You mutter, trying your best to assure them as you give them a smile that doesn't quite reach your eyes. "What's the worse that could happen?"

THE CONFESSION

You want to curse whatever possessed you to say those words an hour ago.

It started off civil, you managed to avoid him till you had to force a smile onto your face as you greeted him and the rest of his members, the handshake that the two of you exchanged as stiff as it could've been. But it was fine.

The hosts asked the two of you questions, there was a little bit of teasing here and there but it was fine.

Until they announced the games that you and the rest would be playing.

"Next up!" The male host announces, making you sit up straighter. "After the break, we're moving onto our game section for the day which is the 'Horror Lineup'!"

At his words, you feel your heart drop in your stomach and your face pale.

Yunjin also freezes beside you after she hears the words and shoots you a small glance. You try to keep your expression neutral, an easy smile on your face but internally, you think you regret your words a little bit.

The hosts turn to you and the rest with a tantalizing smile on their faces. "However, this event comes with a twist!" The male host looks towards your team, eyeing you specifically. "We will be pairing you up with members on the other team so!" He looks back towards the cameras with a shifty expression and a big smirk, "Let's see the pairings!"

You feel your blood run cold at his words as the female host starts exaggeratedly clapping at his words. You feel Yunjin's eyes on you but you couldn't bring yourself to look at her as your eyes lock with the man across the room.

Yeah, you seriously regret uttering those words.

"This can't be happening." You think aloud as you collapse onto the couch in the dressing room. "A horror game and he's my fucking partner?!" You want to run a hand down your face in distress. "The world has got to be against me."

Your teammates stare at you, unsure of how to comfort you when Eun Chae speaks up.

"Maybe he will be civil this time!" She supplies, a little nervously.

"Maybe over my dead body." You bluntly mutter, sinking in deeper into the couch.

"How about one of us request to switch partners?" Tzuyu offers. Jihyo, however, shakes her head as she silently paces while Yunjin takes a seat beside you.

"I don't think they'd agree to it." Jihyo says softly. "They know all about the famous rivalry between Jeon and Icy. They might just want to do it more if we protest it or suggest the member switch." She shakes her head. "It's probably been their goal from the start when they wanted all of us to be on this show."

"Those assholes." Yunjin mutters, her fists clenching a little. If it was any other scenario, you would've barked out a laugh at her swearing, however all you can do is stare upwards at the ceiling and let your thoughts run wild.

The room falls suffocatingly silent as you feel your nerves spike, your heart hammering fast in the confinements of your chest as you feel your member's eyes on you. Your restlessness gets the better of you making you shoot out of your seat which makes a few of your members jump in surprise.

You shoot them an apologetic look before excusing yourself. "I need some air."

With that, you take off. You push the dressing room door, speedwalking down the hallway. You aren't sure where you're going but you just knew you needed to get out of there before the walls completely swallow you whole.

Your prayers are answered as you push open a firm white door which leads you to the roof of the building. You take a deep inhale, filling your lungs with fresh air as you feel the weight on your shoulders start to lift. You eye the skyline as you watch the sun start to dip below the horizon, feeling your worries start to dissipate from inside your veins as you walk closer to the railing. You lean against it as a gust of wind washes over you, increasing the serenity of the scenery.

"Enjoying the scenery?"

You jolt, jumping a little before you whip your head to see Wonwoo stood behind you, leaning against a wall with his arms crossed.

"Are you the fucking devil, Jeon?!" You ask, your hand on your chest as you will your heart to calm down. "You're going to give someone a heart attack if you make yourself known like that."

You see a ghost of a smirk tug at the corners of Wonwoo's mouth. "Didn't answer my question, Icy."

You roll your eyes as you cross your own arms. "I enjoyed it a lot more before you made yourself known to me."

Wonwoo barks out a bitter laugh as he pushes himself off of the wall. He takes a few steps towards you, "Have a problem with horror games, Icy?"

You blink in surprise at his question before quickly schooling your expression. "What's it to you?"

He shrugs. "You just looked like you were going to pass out when they mentioned it." A snarky smirk appears on his face as he fixes you with a mocking pout and a condescending head tilt. "Do you need me to hold your hand later so that the scary monsters don't get you?"

Your jaw clenches as you resist the urge to slap the annoying expression off of his face. "You're such an asshole." You bite out, your tone laced with venom as you glare at the taller man. "What is your problem with me?"

Wonwoo's eyebrows furrow as his expression does a 180 and he's glaring at you. "I should be asking you that." He mutters lowly, taking another step towards you. "You're the one walking into every room glaring at me with the power of a thousand suns. I was willing to let it go the first few times but when you suddenly started making it your personal mission to get me out first in all the League games, that's where I draw the line."

You feel your blood boil more. "Are you saying that this fucking rivalry is my fault?"

"If the shoe fits!"

A sarcastic laugh escapes you as you shake your head. "You're such an asshole, Jeon." You mutter out, trying to push past the man.

"No." Wonwoo sternly says, blocking your path. "You started this. Tell me what your fucking problem with me is."

Your jaw clenches more. "Jeon—"

"No, we're settling this here and now because if I have to play nice later in-front of everyone. I have to at least know what I did for you to act as if I took a shit in your goddamn cheerios."

If you weren't so pissed off with the man standing in-front of you, you would have found that joke funny but all you see is red as you jab a finger into Wonwoo's chest.

"You wanna know what my goddamn problem with you is?!" You hiss, nudging him hard with your finger. "Fine! It's the fact that you always think you're the fucking smartest in the room and God forbid a rookie tries to beat you at your own stupid game because you're such a sore ass loser — and the rookie actually fucking looked up to you by the way. And don't even get me started on—"

"What?" Wonwoo says, interrupting you before you can continue your ramble, his eyebrows scrunching. "What the fuck was that?"

"What the fuck was what?"

"That rookie example that you used."

You feel your heart stop as you realize what you had just told this godforsaken man.

"Was that you?" He asks, his voice dropping a few decibels, barely above the breath of a whisper.

"No." You quickly reply as you refuse the meet the man's gaze.

"Oh my god. It was you." Wonwoo says softly, taking a step backwards to fully see your expression.

"No—"

"Icy."

You feel a little vulnerable in-front of the man, knowing that you just exposed something that you should've taken to your grave.

"Drop it, Jeon." You mutter out, unsure of what to do now that your adrenaline of your ramble had died. "You called me lucky during my debut match when all I did was look up to you." You chuckle lowly. "Maybe that was a petty ass reason to kinda hate your guts but that match meant everything to me and I worked hard to get to where I was. And for you to just say that it was fucking luck…" You cut yourself off with a soft scoff as you fix your eyes on his shoes. "That fucking sucked."

Wonwoo is silent for the first time, your words rendering him absolutely speechless which makes you shift uncomfortably.

"I'll see you later, Jeon." You mutter, pushing past the man. You stop in-front of the door that leads back inside. "I promise I won't be too much of a bother later. So just…" You hesitate, chewing nervously on the inside of your cheek. "Just fucking forget whatever I said."

With that, you pull the door open and leave Wonwoo standing there with his thoughts.

DO YOU HATE THE PLAYER?

"Wow!" The host announces, wiping a stray tear from his eye from how much he was laughing. "That was a fantastic combination of wit and whimsy from our two team captains!" Seungcheol helps Jihyo step off the platform before giving her a smile which she returns with ease as they walk back to their seats. "They really show their stellar leadership skills in switching between being team players and leaders through this game show."

The female host flashes a smile as she nods at the male host's words. "You said it!" She turns back to the cameras, her eyes glinting. "Now, for our final pair. The feistiest set of rivals in all of E-Sport history. Wonwoo and Icy!"

You slide out of your chair, a fake smile plastered on your lips as you 'confidently' walk up to the steps of the platform. You refuse to look at Wonwoo as he settles beside you, even though you can feel his eyes on you.

"Now," The male host says, turning to the two of you. "As said before, one of you would need to put on the VR headset and go through one of the two rooms of your choice. The other will be guiding you through the maze that is set in that room but beware of the dangers lurking in between the turns." He eyes the two of you with a mischievous grin. "Got it?"

You nod as Wonwoo grunts in acknowledgement.

The host turns to you, a glint in his eyes that makes your skin crawl as he holds out the headset to you. "Seeing as you're known as the most confident member in ST4RL1GHT, I assume you would be taking the headset and doing the maze!"

The action stuns you, rendering you a little dumbfounded as you stare at the white headset in his hands. For the rest of the pairs, they just left the headset on the pedestal in-front and let the pair discuss who would be taking the challenge.

You open your mouth, about to accept your fate and take the headset when Wonwoo stops you.

"I'll do it." He answers, making you blink in surprise as he glances at you. "I've seen Icy's comms and I think she would do a better job of guiding me through the maze than I would. I also know that my navigational skills are pretty good so I will be able to follow her instructions."

The male host falters slightly as he stares at Wonwoo's outstretched hand. "Really?" The guy hesitantly says. "I feel that Icy might be better at going through the maze because—"

"Because you planned this around the fact that you heard that she hated horror games and wanted to personally humiliate her on the show?" Wonwoo finishes, raising an eyebrow.

At those words, the host pales as his jaw drops open. "H-how—"

Wonwoo shrugs. "The hallways are pretty echoey, don't you think." He bluntly states. "I just so happened to be in the hallway where you were laughing at what a misfortune it would be when the Ice Queen of ST4RL1GHT falters and screams at this pathetic horror game."

You jolt a little feeling a hand linking with yours making you peer to your side to see Jihyo standing there with her leader face on. "I think it's time for us to take our leave." She says, plastering on a fake but serious smile. "I don't think we will be coming back to this show but we thank you for inviting us."

You feel a few other people line up beside you making you look to your left and right to see the rest of the girls stepping into line with you and Jihyo. Their faces are filled with unamused expressions as Yunjin takes a glance at you, giving you a warm smile before squeezing your shoulder in a firm reassurance that says 'We got you.'

"I think it's the same for us as well." You hear Seungcheol say as you see the GAM3BOIs stand up as well, moving towards the front. "Thank you for having us as well but," he locks eyes with you, sending you a small reassuring smile before it disappears as he turns back to the hosts. "We can't be on a show where the hosts have a secret vendetta against their guests and want to humiliate them."

With that, the sixteen of you leave the room, leaving the hosts blinking owlishly at all of you, unsure of what to do. You giggle at their reaction as you hear the producers start to chastise the two of them, wondering how their ratings were going to do. In any other situation, you probably would've felt bad for how badly they were getting told off but you can't bring yourself to care after they tried to use one of your biggest weaknesses against you.

You hear a soft breath of your name being called making you stop in your tracks and turn to face the individual. There stands a nervous Wonwoo who looks almost as if he was silently cursing himself for calling your name.

Jihyo looks between you and the man before detaching herself from you. "We'll see you inside." She whispers to you, giving your shoulder a quick squeeze before pushing the rest of the girls towards the dressing room.

"You think he's going to confess to her—"

"Shut up Eun Chae!" Chaewon hisses. "He's right there!"

"But—"

You shake your head as their voice trail off down the hallway, leaving you with a very awkward Wonwoo.

"What can I do for you, Jeon?" You ask, an attempt to break the ice when it becomes clear that the man was not going to do it himself.

The man shuffles uncomfortably in place before he opens his mouth. "I wanted to apologize for being an asshole when we first met." He softly says, fiddling with his hands. "I'm also sorry that it took you telling me to realize what I had done wrong and I have no excuse for saying that it was luck based." He clicks his tongue before he continues his ramble. "I actually remember that first friendly match. I was upset with something one of my teammates did and I took it out on you by calling you lucky because I wasn't thinking clearly that day. I know it's not a good excuse but for what it's worth, I thought you were one of the best players I saw that day. You made quite the impression."

His apology and words make a warmth spread through your chest. You clear your throat as you cross your arms in-front of your chest.

"Thank you." You softly say. "For the apology and also for doing what you did just now."

Wonwoo shakes his head. "Small matter." He mutters. "Someone needed to put those assholes in their place."

His words make a small smile tug at the corner of your mouth.

"They really were assholes, huh." You say as you watch a ghost of a grin appear on Wonwoo's face. He lets out a low chuckle as he scratches the back of his nape.

"Yeah, they were." He assures you, his voice rumbles making a shiver run down your spine. "Kinda upsetting to be honest." He admits, chewing the inside of his cheek. "I'm actually a really big fan of their content."

Your eyes widen at his confession. "So am I."

Wonwoo looks at you with a surprised look before a devastating smile appears on his face. "Looks like we might have more in common than we thought."

You feel your heart start to race as a flush erupts up your neck. "Yeah." You honestly say. "We might."

You feel a comfortable silence envelope the two of you before you hear loud noises down the hallway, recognizing them as Wonwoo's teammates. You see him realize it as well as his eyes flit from you to the hallway behind you.

"You should go." You say, taking a step to the side. "I probably need to get going too."

Wonwoo hesitates for a second, glancing between you and the hallway before nodding. He starts to take a few steps towards the hallway behind you before he turns and faces you.

"Does this mean we're friends now?" He asks making you blink at him.

You raise an eyebrow at the man before feigning a ponder when you realize how nervous he's being. "I don't know." You softly tease. "Might need a rematch of that friendly so that I can make you eat those words."

Wonwoo blinks before he lets out a soft breath of a laugh, shaking his head before he looks back up at you. "Deal." He says, holding out his hand for you to shake. "Till the rematch then."

You bite back a smile as you shake his hand. "Till the rematch." You repeat. You feel him tilt both your hands so that his is on top before he slips something into your hand. You quizzically look at him as he pulls his hand out of your grasps before closing your knuckles around the object in your hand.

All he does is give you another devastating smile before he takes off down the hallway without another word.

You glance at your hand, unclenching it slowly to see a folded piece of paper. Your eyebrows furrow as you open it before a small smile appears on your face as you read the words on it.

xxx-xxx-xxxx, hope I can continue to make it up to you.

©livmarauder2026Thank you guys so much for reading my v8 birthday fic! I do hope you guys truly enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! <3 More fics to come!! Like my work? Join my Permanent Taglist! All my fics are 18+, which means blogs without age or age indicator will not be tagged! If you like this, please consider reblogging or liking! It really makes my day! <3 I hope you all enjoyed e-sports wonwoo <333

⋆⭒˚.⋆ TAGLIST: @mellowgyu @izzyy-recs @cherrymayz @luvrung @nerdycheol @choco-scoups @hopecutie @gentleisa @chogiwaw @caratchronicles @huiimoon @gyuhao365 @unemployedcarat @bramos91 @dollhoonki @orbitonrcrd @jaylaxies @hye-na03 @hye_na @yethoughts @sn4psh00t @in-somnias-world

ᯓ★ love letter taglist: @leigh-darling @lostinfakescenarios @joongtime @star-dust17 @insannities @asparagushaerin @blindspotquokka

── ⋆⋅☆ LOVE LETTER #1 ☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆˚✿TITLE: The Wedding Game ⋆˚✿PAIRING: wedding photographer!seokmin x wedding planner!reader ⋆˚✿SYNOPSIS: There is nothing so dangerously thrilling like walking the line of love and hate, especially at weddings. You and Seokmin are addicted to it. ⋆˚✿WARNINGS: slight sexual content (making out and stuff, but no smut!)

ᯓ★ A Love Letter to @aeristudios ᯓ★ Delivered by: @orbitondgtl on 20th July

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── ⋆⋅☆ LOVE LETTER #2 ☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆˚✿TITLE: Do Hate The Player ⋆˚✿PAIRING: rival e-sports player!wonwoo x rival e-sports player! fem!reader ⋆˚✿SYNOPSIS: Everyone knows Wonwoo as the most nonchalant member of the notable e-sports team — "GAM3BO1", however, they also know that Wonwoo only loses his cool with a particular hotshot member of the e-sports team, 'ST4RL1GHT'. You. When a variety game show brings the two teams together and expects you two to work together, there may be more to this rivalry that meets the normal viewer's eye. ⋆˚✿WARNINGS: swearing, reader is really competitive, some mean comments thrown here and there, everyone else on their team is lowkey (highkey) done with their shit

ᯓ★ A Love Letter to @jakedustry ᯓ★ Delivered by: @livmarauder on 23rd July

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── ⋆⋅☆ LOVE LETTER #3 ☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆˚✿TITLE: Idiots At Work ⋆˚✿PAIRING: coworker!seungcheol x reader ⋆˚✿SYNOPSIS: A heavy snowstorm + a blackout = the solution to your growing feelings for the ever so charming and popular, Seungcheol. ⋆˚✿WARNINGS: none, it's fluffy and cute

ᯓ★ A Love Letter to @gent1es3xy ᯓ★ Delivered by: @orbitondgtl on 27th July

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── ⋆⋅☆ LOVE LETTER #4 ☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆˚✿TITLE: Under The Skin ⋆˚✿PAIRING: boyfriend! idol!jihoon x girlfriend! non-idol! fem!reader ⋆˚✿SYNOPSIS: Jihoon has never been good with emotions. Everyone know that he pours that into his life's work with Seventeen and you aren't the exception. When he starts working late and neglecting you for their newest comeback, your secret relationship starts to take a toll on you and all the negative thoughts start to swarm which makes you wonder if this relationship was ever worth it in the first place. ⋆˚✿WARNINGS: SMUT, Angst, negative thoughts, self-doubt, jihoon being a little oblivious, stressed working environment, (more to be added)

ᯓ★ A Love Letter to @cherry-zip ᯓ★ Delivered by: @livmarauder on 30th July

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── ⋆⋅☆ LOVE LETTER #5 ☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆˚✿TITLE: Brain Less ⋆˚✿PAIRING: college student! bf!chan x college student! gf!reader ⋆˚✿SYNOPSIS: Chan is in desperate need of a distraction. You have the perfect solution to his problem. ⋆˚✿WARNINGS: SMUT (more to be added)

ᯓ★ A Love Letter to @luvrung ᯓ★ Delivered by: @orbitondgtl on 3rd August

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── ⋆⋅☆ LOVE LETTER #6 ☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆˚✿TITLE: Lost In Translation ⋆˚✿PAIRING: idol!soonyoung x backup dancer! fem!reader ⋆˚✿SYNOPSIS: Hoshi's known for having one of the best stage presences in k-pop history with how confident he was and how much aura he holds on stage. Kwon Soonyoung on the other hand, is the complete opposite when he tries to talk to you, one of Minghao's dancer friends. When he finally works up the courage to, he realizes you can only understand Chinese and everyone begins to wonder how far his crush on you will take him, including himself. ⋆˚✿WARNINGS: soonyoung being nervous, minghao being a little shit, (more to be added)

ᯓ★ A Love Letter to @duhnuuuuwrites ᯓ★ Delivered by: @livmarauder on 6th August

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── ⋆⋅☆ LOVE LETTER #7 ☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆˚✿TITLE: My Husband Is A Loser ⋆˚✿PAIRING: husband!seungkwan x wife!reader ⋆˚✿SYNOPSIS: You love Seugnkwan in all his silly and annoying glory. Sometimes you just need to get back at him. ⋆˚✿WARNINGS: none, but I will be very funny in this

ᯓ★ A Love Letter to @cherrypickedxo ᯓ★ Delivered by: @orbitondgtl on 10th August

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── ⋆⋅☆ LOVE LETTER #8 ☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆˚✿TITLE: Subliminal ⋆˚✿PAIRING: brother's best friend! fwb!joshua x fwb! fem!reader ⋆˚✿SYNOPSIS: Joshua Hong is known as the campus heartbreaker, once you get into bed with him or catch feelings for him, you are doomed. When you end up doing both and your brother finds out, you end your partnership with him before you meet your impending doom. However, it seems like Joshua has other plans in mind because he can't seem to let you go without a fight. ⋆˚✿WARNINGS: none, it's fluffy and cute

ᯓ★ A Love Letter to @mellowgyu ᯓ★ Delivered by: @livmarauder on 13th August

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── ⋆⋅☆ LOVE LETTER #9 ☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆˚✿TITLE: Food For Thought ⋆˚✿PAIRING: best friend!mingyu x chef!reader ⋆˚✿SYNOPSIS: Your usual food date with your best friend leads to a night you'll never forget. ⋆˚✿WARNINGS: SMUT (more to be added)

ᯓ★ A Love Letter to @cherrymayz ᯓ★ Delivered by: @orbitondgtl on 17th August

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── ⋆⋅☆ LOVE LETTER #10 ☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆˚✿TITLE: Iridescence ⋆˚✿PAIRING: boyfriend!jeonghan x girlfriend! fem!reader ⋆˚✿SYNOPSIS: Jeonghan's always known that he wanted to marry you. It was as if it was written in the stars. However, when the day finally arrives to ask you to be his forever, everything that can go wrong, goes wrong. ⋆˚✿WARNINGS: swearing and making out! loads of panicking (more to bed added)

ᯓ★ A Love Letter to @hopecutie ᯓ★ Delivered by: @livmarauder on 20th August

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── ⋆⋅☆ LOVE LETTER #11 ☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆˚✿TITLE: Bubble Pop Electric ⋆˚✿PAIRING: rich guy! minghao x reader ⋆˚✿SYNOPSIS: You have Minghao wrapped around your finger and he proves to you how much he loves it over and over again ⋆˚✿WARNINGS: SMUT! (more to be added)

ᯓ★ A Love Letter to @gentleisa ᯓ★ Delivered by: @orbitondgtl on 24th August

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── ⋆⋅☆ LOVE LETTER #12 ☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆˚✿TITLE: MIA ⋆˚✿PAIRING: childhood best friend! idol!vernon x rockstar! fem!reader ⋆˚✿SYNOPSIS: Seventeen thinks Vernon might be a bit delusional sometimes, because why was he talking about you, a world renown rockstar as if he personally knew you? Even worse, why does he think he's dating you?! ⋆˚✿WARNINGS: none! a lot of crack humour, the guys "bullying" vernon, swearing, guy's being stupid (more to be added)

ᯓ★ A Love Letter to @mylovesstuffs ᯓ★ Delivered by: @livmarauder on 27th August

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── ⋆⋅☆ LOVE LETTER #13 ☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆˚✿TITLE: The Chronicles of a Girl Dad ⋆˚✿PAIRING: husband! idol!jun x wife! non-idol! fem!reader ⋆˚✿SYNOPSIS: Jun didn't think fatherhood would look like this... especially with him dressed as a pretty princess with blue eyeshadow and a tiara to a picnic that his daughters wanted. ⋆˚✿WARNINGS: none! loads of fluff and reader making fun of jun!

ᯓ★ A Love Letter to @nerdycheol ᯓ★ Delivered by: @orbitondgtl & @livmarauder on 31st August

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©livmarauder2026 & ©orbitondgtl If you would like to be tagged for this, do comment down below! All fics are 18+, despite whether there is r-rated content or not, which means blogs without age or age indicators will not be tagged!

STUPIDITY KNOWS NO BOUNDS

You swear your boyfriends are stupid. You've always known that when boys get together, their intellect goes down by quite a bit but witnessing it in action… is a whole other story.

Minghao and Hansol came as a pair. It was rare to find one without the other and in the underground racing world, they were known as the deadliest and fastest duo there ever was. Sure, they were different in many ways — their unique styles in fashion being one of them — but if there was one thing that the both of them loved and shared, it was the thrill of the game. Hence, it wasn't that surprising when rumours started spreading that they also shared something — or someone — else.

Minghao's been on the tense side recently, having made a few minor mistakes in an underground race that he partook in a few days ago. To anyone else, it would've been fine but you know your boyfriend and Minghao is a perfectionist, through and through. He still won the race but you knew that those mistakes were tugging at the back of his mind every time he spaced out when he was home. Hence, he needed an outlet, which so happened to be you.

He mentioned this to you before during one of your solo dates, but your presence has a way of making everything calm. You just have a way to make everything feel easy and his mind that normally races with a hundred and one things, just quietens when he's in your comfort.

However, Minghao wasn't the only one feeling off this week.

Hansol is normally really easygoing. In the time that you've spent dating the two of them, you realized that nothing really phases him and he always thinks with his head, not his heart. However, you know that he's been having trouble with his cars and he's had a few shitty days of bad races on the other side of town. Hence, he needed your comfort just as bad as Minghao did.

This lead to the two of them almost fighting for your time. Normally, you thrive a little on it, loving the effect that you have on them but as the tension kept building over time, you knew that it would eventually overflow if they didn't talk about it.

And overflow it did.

It was a small glare here and there, the atmosphere being a little tense in the room if you weren't there but then it started to get a little more intense when they started to talk to each other with clipped tones over a tiny mistake or two.

You were worried but you knew that they won't get physical with each other because no matter how angry or upset they were with the other, they both were aware and rational enough to know that violence was never the answer.

Racing on the other hand… was a free game.

Which leads you to this moment where you are sat next to your childhood best friend, Joshua who also owns part of the underground street racing scene.

"This is so stupid." You mutter under your breath. Joshua gives you a side glance before smirking as he leans back in his chair.

"The racing or the fight?"

"Both." You scoff, rolling your eyes as you cross your arms, your eyes fixed on the monitor that has a multi-camera view for you to see the route plus a tracker on both cars to see who finishes first.

Joshua fixes you with a familiar intrigued and mischievous look. "And here I was, under the impression that they agreed to not race on the same track after what happened two years ago."

You grimace, remembering the reason for that decision. It involved you as well but it was more of a rational decision than an emotional one, a just in case if you will. It was a particularly bad and memorable race for the both of them. You remember waiting in the stands, your anxiety through the roof as the cars revved their engines to start. There were six racers that day, your boyfriends occupying two out of six of the slots. It had started raining while they were waiting for the race to start and although that normally makes the race more interesting as winning is more dependent on the driver than the car, you had a bad feeling in your gut.

Minghao and Hansol had assured you that they would be fine, the two of them giving you a kiss before sliding into their respective cars but, you still felt uneasy. You watched with Joshua from the main room (being both their race engineers) as they sped away, the ache in your chest getting more tense as they went sped down the narrow and wet roads.

It was during the second lap where you noticed something wrong with Hansol's car, causing your heart to drop further in your stomach as you radioed it in. Due to the rain though, the connection was particularly bad which meant that Hansol had trouble hearing you and by the time he connected what you were trying to tell him, it was too late.

His brakes stopped working and his car skidded straight into one of the barriers that was setup, knocking him unconscious. As if it couldn't be worse, you weren't able to convey the information to Minghao, causing the man to crash into the other side of the barrier a few meters away, just to avoid crashing into Hansol.

You felt your heart break as you immediately collapsed into Joshua's arms when you witnessed the crash from the screen in-front of you as you broke into a fit of sobs. Minghao made it out with a minor concussion and a few scratches, having already been prepared for the worst of it but Hansol on the other hand, was unconscious for a day in the hospital.

You refused to leave his side, no matter how much Joshua and Minghao tried to convince you, as you blamed yourself for this happening. If you had just pushed a little harder, convinced them a little harder about the bad feeling in your chest, maybe this wouldn't have happened.

Thankfully, you woke up the next morning with Hansol's arms wrapped around you, accompanied by his soft snores in his hospital bed. You cried tears of relief that woke him up, blinking blurrily at you before he gently comforted you, assuring you that it wasn't your fault.

When Minghao came in a few minutes later, having gone to get the three of you breakfast and saw you in that state, it only took a shared glance between your boyfriends for them to come to the consensus that the they weren't allowed to participate in the same race anymore. One of them always being by your side just in case the worst happened.

However, you guessed that rule went out the window the second they started yelling at each other in a quick fit of anger after you stepped out to do some grocery shopping for the two of them, only settling it when one of them suggested to race.

"I guess men's intellect and common sense really take a toll when they're together." You deadpan, letting out a frustrated sigh.

Joshua feigns hurt. "Hey!" He pouts. "You can't stereotype all men like that."

"I can when you and Jeonghan display the same exact energy when you guys are together."

"Aww and here I was thinking that I was your favourite, sweetheart." You resist the urge to roll your eyes as you glance behind you, seeing Jeonghan walking into the control room, dressed comfortably in a plain white tee with a bomber jacket, jeans and a beanie.

"I'm pretty sure Hao and Non will physically beat you up for even suggesting that, Hannie."

The older man sends you a smirk. "They don't have to know, sweetheart."

"You're dreaming if you think you're her first choice after us, Hyung." Minghao says, his voice crackling as it came through the control room speakers. "I also advise that you tone down on the 'sweetheart' calling, she's known as 'Rookie' and only 'Rookie' to you."

Jeonghan's mouth twitches as clicks his tongue. "Point noted, geez. Don't need to put your claws out." He teases, his hands raising in mock surrender even though Minghao couldn't see him. "Such possessiveness."

You roll your eyes before dishing out the headsets for both the men beside you to connect them to their respective drivers. When they had agreed to do this race, you immediately opted out of being a race engineer for either of them because you didn't want to get in between whatever this was (even though you were already in between it). Hence, you called your two older confidants to give the callouts and to make sure your boyfriends were safe, no matter who won the race. All the radios were connected to one singular channel but you think that each of them having their own space would also be good because that might help to resolve whatever was going on.

Or at least you hope it would.

You grab your own headset, placing it over your head before switching everyone to the general channel with the click of a few buttons on the control panel.

"Test, test. Can everyone hear me?" You ask, slightly adjusting your headset mic.

"Loud and clear, Baobei." Minghao's voice says first making you smile.

"Yep." Hansol clicks his tongue as you hear a little bit of shuffling. "Crystal clear, Angel."

You smile fondly to yourself before you purse your lips and look at the track.

"You know you both don't need to do this." You whisper into the microphone, gnawing at your bottom lip as you try one last time to convince them out of this. "We can talk it out here right now and then go home."

You feel Jeonghan and Joshua exchange a few glances behind your back but you try to ignore them and focus on what your boyfriends are going to say.

"We're already here, Baobei." Minghao says, trying to keep his voice light and airy so that you don't worry. "You also dragged Jeonghan and Shua Hyung here to help us so we might as well make the most of it."

"He's right, Angel." Hansol's voice cuts through and even though you can't see him, you know that he's nodding his head. "We promise we will be safe, we just need to settle this and this is the best way to do it."

Minghao lets out a hum in agreement, making you sigh as you pinch the bridge of your nose. You want to yell at them or tell them off because you can think of a hundred other ways to deal with this without either of them getting upset by the end of the night or in any injuries but, they're too far gone to listen.

"Okay." You steel your emotions, the tone of your voice going neutral. "Ground rules." You say, adjusting the mic once more as you spare a glance at Jeonghan and Joshua. "I want a clean race, you two. You two can shit talk each other as much as you want but if there is any sign of cheating, the two of you are sharing the couch till I say so."

The protest of your sentence is immediate. "What?!" They both exclaim.

"Baobei, you can't be serious." You roll your eyes.

"I am serious, Xu." You chastise, hating everything about this race. "If any harm comes to either of you that is inflicted by the other, I will be pissed."

The line goes quiet at that the tone in your voice indicating to your boyfriends that you are indeed not joking. "Moving on." You say, clearing your throat as you grimace, looking at the route that they chose.

V8.

You don't know whether it's ironic or poetic.

The race starts off with an uphill zigzag path, followed by a ton of different eight round bends that really test a street racer's skill and ends with what everyone calls the leap of faith which is a downhill slope that is so steep, it feels like you're taking a leap of faith.

You describe the course to your boyfriends — even though they probably know it by heart — before setting the race rules. "As you both are aware, there are ramps around as well as shortcuts but use them safely and at your own risk. Shua and I went through just now to remove debris because no one has used this course in months…" You click your tongue. "so, take everything with a pinch of salt and be careful."

"Jeonghan and Joshua are here to assist you guys with route guidance and route guidance only. They are not allowed to tell you how close the other is because that's F1 and we don't run motor sports here."

That gets a soft chuckle out of the four men with you as your lips twitch, a ghost of a smile wanting to form.

"Any sign of a Jump, will be considered a false start and the other person will be automatically considered the winner. Lastly, and because I need this fact to be drilled into both your heads, any sign of foul play, I'm calling the race off and both of you are sleeping on the couch. Understood?"

The line is silent for a little bit, making you slightly annoyed as you clear your throat. "Understood?" You ask again, your tone reflecting seriousness.

"Yes." The two of them reluctantly murmur out.

You lean back in your seat with your arms crossed. "Good." You say. "I'll start the countdown."

You click at a few of the buttons on the dashboard as you peer at the time.

11:39pm.

You let out a slow exhale, hoping that this race will end before twelve before you flick the starting switch for the countdown lights.

Red light illuminate the track as you peer at the two cameras beside you that show both your boyfriends in their respective cars.

"I love you both." You whisper out. "Please be safe."

The two of them simultaneously eye the camera that's in their cars as they give you a smile.

"We'll be safe, Angel." Minghao nods, echoing Hansol's sentiment.

"Regardless of the outcome of this race," Minghao starts, leaning in closer to the camera. "We both love you and each other very much, Baobei."

You should feel a little more reassured after Minghao says it and Hansol nods, but you can't help that same uneasy feeling in your gut and chest that something was just about to go wrong. However, you know that both of them are far too deep into this to stop now.

You close your eyes to steel yourself as you let out a slow exhale before you nod at the two older men beside you before you flick the second switch that officially starts the race.

A steady beep rings out through the speakers before the lights change to yellow as Minghao and Hansol rev their engines, which seem to charge your body as well, the antipation of the race leaving your body on edge. "Ready. Get set…"

Your adrenaline rushes and your heart pounds in your ear before the light switches to green and the resounding beep rings through the speakers.

"GO!"

The effect is immediate as your boyfriends speed down the zigzag paths, making you hold your heart race as you watch them from the monitor in-front of you. You silently tune Joshua and Jeonghan out as they advise your boyfriends, having been amateur street racers long before them and just watch the cameras as you will your heart to slow down.

They will be fine. You internally tell yourself as you gnaw on your bottom lip. Right?

You lean back into your seat as you close your eyes, letting the engines roar in your ear as you sigh.

It either ends really well or really badly.

THE EGO FUCK UP

Two laps in and everything is smooth so far. You wince every time one of them makes a risky drift or takes the shortcut that you aren't sure is cleared or not. You had to have lost around a decade of your life just sitting here and watching your boyfriends eagerly battle it out in cars.

"Your drift there was a little risky, wasn't it, Hansol?" Minghao's voice rings out in the joint channel as he smoothly overtakes the younger man. You spare at a glance at his monitor, grimacing as you see Hansol's jaw clenching as he lets out a dark chuckle.

"Just learning from your drift a round ago, hyung." Hansol says coolly. "I need to learn from my seniors, don't I?"

Minghao's face doesn't change but his knuckles turn white at Hansol's words, making you sigh as you click the button that deafens them from the three of you.

"It's going well so far." Joshua gently says, giving you a smile.

You scoff, shaking your head. "If you call the name-calling and insults that rile them up even more and make them reckless, 'going well'." You sarcastically quip, raising your hands to make quotation marks. "Then, yeah! It's going great!"

The two older men share a look as you sink further into your chair, the build-up of anxiety getting a little too much for you.

"Rookie." Jeonghan gently calls, giving you a comforting squeeze on your arm. "Did you try telling them how you feel about all this? I mean, you basically have a free card that you can pull in a few minutes."

You glance at the clock.

11:55pm.

You sigh, shaking your head. "I don't even know if they remember." You admit quietly. "They've been talking about this stupid competition for the last week and whenever they spend time with me, it's to rant about the other one and I'm genuinely so sick of it."

You watch Jeonghan and Joshua share a look before the younger of the two scoots his chair over to tug you into him, letting you rest on his chest. You lean into your childhood friend who is like a brother to you. "What if they actually forgot, Shua?" You ask quietly, your voice cracking slightly.

You feel Joshua sigh underneath you. "I'm sure they didn't, darling." He assures quietly as he presses a kiss to your temple. "They love and adore you too much."

"You can say that again." Jeonghan says with a playful scoff. "Do you not remember your big birthday bash two years ago where they rented out the whole go-kart place with arcade machines?"

You bite back a fond smile as you recall that, you offhandedly mentioned once that you were a big fan of surprises during one of your movie nights with them. You didn't notice it then but they had shared a glance when they heard about it and just started surprising you with things whenever they could.

A bouquet of your favourite flowers here and there. Sometimes they saw a book that you have on your 'to be read' and immediately bought it for next day delivery. They also loved to buy you little trinkets that reminded them of you to put in your display shelf (which is running out of space) in your gaming room.

The biggest surprise was the one that Jeonghan had mentioned where you confided in them that you wanted to try an arcade and go-kart place because you never had the chance to when you were younger. Being the overachiever boyfriends they were, they got you a two-in-one with all your friends.

The two older men beside you were right, there is no way that they don't remember. They hadn't mentioned any plans yet but that was normal if they were planning on surprising you again this year.

You peer upwards at Joshua offering him a soft smile before you do the same with Jeonghan. "Thanks guys." You softly say. "I needed that."

Jeonghan gives you a genuine smile as he ruffles your hair. "We always got you, Rookie. Don't you ever forget it."

Your smile grows wider at his words before something catches your attention from the corner of your eye.

You immediately sit up and stare outside the control room windows to see that it had started pouring. The uneasiness in your gut flares as you gnaw at your lips, looking as the rain hit the control room windows. You dial back into the call with Minghao and Hansol.

Your head spins as you go back into race mode, moving both boys back to the their respective calls with the older ones. "Check tire and car condition with both." You command, making the two older men nod before unmuting their headsets to talk to their respective drivers.

You monitor the route as the rain continues to pelt down heavily. You tune out the men beside you as you switch between the cameras that are left on their respective route. Your eyes flit around the screen as you flick through each camera scene. You let your eyes linger for a few moments to see if there's anything out of the ordinary before repeating the process with the next one.

All is good till you reach camera eighty-four that is right at the last infinity bend. You were about to pass it over when you notice one of the trees swaying a little too much to the side. Your eyes narrow, your finger twitching as it hovers over the microphone button to pull all of them into the collective call.

The tree stops swaying making you breath a sigh of relief before moving your hand from the button. However, your heart stops when you notice something rolling from the corner of your eye. Your eyes immediately flick to it to see a boulder rolling down the nearby mountain. Your blood runs cold as you watch it knock into the nearest tree, breaking it and causing it to tumble down onto the path that both Hansol and Minghao are racing through.

Your adrenaline surges as you press the button, bringing everyone into the general call. The call immediately fills with overlapping conversations from both groups. You vaguely hear them talking about different strategies but you couldn't care less, more worried about the blockage in the road.

"Boys!" You interrupt, immediately halting all the conversations. "I need you both to slow down right now."

There's a brief period of silence before they both immediately start protesting. Minghao is currently just slightly ahead of Hansol, trying his best to not block him.

"Rookie." Minghao calls, his voice serious. "What is it?"

"There's a blockade on the road so I need the two of you to pull out now." Your boyfriends go quiet as soon as you say that, their focus still on the road but you watch as they contemplate your words, as if they are trying to find a workaround to what you are saying.

Your eyes flicker between both the screens as your patience starts to wear thin, your anxiety shooting through the roof. "Hello?!" You ask, your tone one of panic. "Did you guys not hear what I just said? There's a blockade in the middle of the road that the two of you are going to crash into—"

"How big is the blockade, Rookie?"

You freeze upon hearing Hansol's question cut through your panic.

"I beg your fucking pardon?" You blurt out, unable to stop yourself as you feel your blood start to boil.

"The blockade, baobei." Minghao affirms but this time with the loving nickname, as if it could placate you from the annoyance you're starting to feel. "How big is it?"

"You guys can't be fucking serious." You answer, your fists slowly clenching on the desk as you feel your anger rising with each word they were saying to you. "Turn back, right now. I'm being serious."

You watch the gears turn in your boyfriends heads before Hansol speaks. "Hyung." He calls, completely ignoring your earlier sentence which makes your heart drop. "How far till blockade and how big is it?"

Joshua looks between you and Hansol's face on the camera footage in-front of you before his eyes flicker towards the route map where time to impact is stated.

Five Minutes.

"Shua." You warn, your tone wavering as you stare at him with a pleading gaze, hoping that he will back up your decision.

"Hyung." Hansol tries again as he takes the lead from Minghao who lets out a groan of frustration, his palm smacking the steering wheel as he watches Hansol pull ahead by quite a bit.

"Hyung." Minghao tries this time. "Time to impact so I know if I can overtake?"

Jeonghan hesitates, watching your head whip to him as he contemplates whether he should tell your boyfriend.

"Hannie." You warn before turning back to your boyfriends.

"Xu Minghao. Chwe Hansol." You warn as you stare at the time until impact on your screen. "If the two of you do not turn your cars around, there will be consequences."

Three Minutes.

"Rookie, we're in too deep to stop here." Minghao sternly says as he changes gear and tries to overtake Hansol.

Your heart lurches as you see how close the cars come to knocking each other. The rain pelts down harder and the road narrows as they round the last bend, meaning they were only a couple of kilometers away from the giant tree that's blocking them.

"Hyung." Hansol presses harder, his grip on the steering wheel tight as he tries to fight of Minghao's advance. "Time to fucking impact!"

Joshua stares at you, almost stunned that the two hopelessly in love men were not listening to you. Your boyfriends in the car start to overlap their yelling, demanding that their race engineers tell them the time from impact so that they can plan accordingly while you sit there, your face pale as your palms begin to sweat.

You're speechless as you watch them still fight it out despite all your words, your heart racing as you watch them get closer and closer to the thing that will be the death of both of them.

One Minute.

"Fuck it." You hear Minghao whisper before he reaches over to turn off the camera in his car. You watch from the monitor as he speeds ahead, causing Hansol to immediately break, to slow his car down before he hits the other male.

"Hyung." Hansol yells. "The fuck are you doing?"

"Winning." Minghao says smoothly as you hear him shift his gears before seeing the car speed up on the monitor.

"Mother—" With that, Hansol also turns off his camera meaning that the three of you are blind to the egotistical drivers that are down there on the track.

"What the fuck are you two doing?!" You exclaim, standing up now as you slam your hands on the desk, a last ditch effort to get the two of them to turn around. "Please." You plead into the microphone, your eyes getting slightly watery as you watch them get closer and closer to the tree.

"Fifty seconds." Joshua whispers as you fumble with the dashboard in-front of you, flicking through the different cameras there till you found one that showed you exactly where they were on the track.

When you find it, you hit a few more buttons to trigger the path following on the device as you watch the cameras change in-front of you to follow your boyfriend's cars.

They ignore you, still swapping positions with each other as you feel like throwing up, the anxiety in your chest getting too much as you watch them get closer and closer to the tree.

"Guys." You sob out, nearly begging at this point. "Please turn around."

"Thirty seconds." Jeonghan says softly, making you slam your fist against the desk as you watch the distance between them and the tree. You wonder why they're doing this, why they are silent and it hits you like a ton of bricks.

You heart races. They're wearing you down, wanting you to crack and tell them the impact timing because they know you care too much about them. You feel your heart crack as you watch them go down the road.

"Fifteen seconds." Joshua says, his voice in a slight panic as he stares at you.

You angrily wipe your tears away. "Fuck it." You mutter before putting your microphone closer to your mouth. "Ten seconds, blockage is the same size as the fucking truck we saw yesterday."

You sniffle, pushing down a sob. "Good fucking luck." Is the last thing you venomously whisper before you tap out, not wanting to see your boyfriends risk their life for some fucked up competition.

You rip the headset off and slam it down onto the control room dashboard making the two men beside you jump. Without wasting another second, you pick up your things before picking up and walk out the door. Joshua recovers first and is quick to follow, ripping off his own headset to chase after you as you try not to angrily break down.

You don't make it very far as Joshua catches up to you with his significantly longer legs. He pulls you into him with ease as you try to wrestle out of his grip, needing to get away for your own sanity. You're fighting a losing battle as he tugs you firmly into his chest and wraps his arms around your center to keep you from leaving.

When it becomes clear that you aren't able to break out from his grasps, you break down into it instead. Joshua's hand runs through your hair, soothing you as you sob into his chest, feeling all the tiredness and overwhelm that you've been struggling to keep at bay for the last week or so.

"I hate them." You whisper into his chest. "Why are they so fucking stupid."

Joshua sighs as he presses a kiss to the top of your head as he moves his hand to slowly run up and down your back. "Ego, darling." Is what he answers after a couple of seconds. The two of you don't say anything else after that, Joshua letting you focus on regulating your breathing so that you stop crying.

Stupid fucking ego.

The two of you stand like that for a while, Joshua letting you take as much time as you need as your breathing starts to even out. You both hear a scuffle of footsteps, making you lift your head from Joshua's chest to see Jeonghan with his hands in his pocket.

"Are they okay?" You whisper out, unable to help how much you care about your idiotic boyfriends. Jeonghan gives you a weak smile before nodding.

"They both reversed and took a shortcut a couple of metres back." He shoots you a sympathetic look. "The race did end in a tie though."

Your heart drops.

A fucking tie.

All that for a fucking tie.

You close your eyes, a heavy sigh already building in your throat. This couldn't be worse.

The loud sounds of engines revving and drifting makes the three of you turn to the entrance of the outdoor carpark. The lights make you wince as you squint to see your boyfriends arriving. They don't bother to park and just turn off their engines before getting out of the car.

You expect them to walk straight to you first but Minghao instead slams his car door shut hard and walks over to Hansol, cornering him to the side of his car.

"What the fuck was that there at the end, Chwe?!"

Joshua and you blink at the sight as Jeonghan grimaces, remembering how they almost ran each other off the road at the end there.

"Driving, Xu." Hansol replies, his tone dry and pointed as he shows no sign of remorse. "But I could ask you the same for what you pulled at infinity turn forty-eight."

Minghao's jaw clenches. "Watch your tone, Chwe." He venomously seethes, jabbing a finger into the latter's chest. "You forget that I'm the older one here."

"I don't fucking care." Hansol bites back, grabbing Minghao's hand tightly. "Your recklessness nearly ran both of us off the fucking road."

"You did the same fucking thing towards the end there, Hansol."

"Well, like I said, I'm learning from my senior."

Minghao scoffs before leveling Hansol with a glare. "Well, let's fucking go again then." Minghao says as the younger one folds his arms. "If you are that good of a driver and you learned everything from me, you should be able to beat me without the fucking helpline of the tree right?"

"Oh that's easy." Hansol says, a smirk on his face from riling up the older man. "At the end, you wish you had the fucking helpline of the tree as you did today."

You see Minghao fume as Hansol gets up in his space. He shoves Hansol backwards and opens his mouth, ready to tear him a new one.

"Both of you, shut the fuck up!"

The two men immediately freeze, hearing you yell at them before turning to face you, their faces a little pale.

You, on the other hand, are fuming.

"Are you two even listening to the words coming out of your fucking mouths?" You ask, your eyes stinging with hot tears. "You both tried to kill each other out there!" You angrily brush at your eyes as Joshua gives your shoulder a squeeze, trying to ground you.

"Breathe, darling." Joshua whispers into your ear as you glare at the two boys you love so much.

"I told you both that this was a fucking stupid idea and you two wouldn't even listen to me! Your girlfriend that's been with you both for the last three years." You shake your head, your words getting softer and softer as you stare at them, slightly defeated. "You both didn't need to settle this on the stupid track. The three of us talking it out would've solved everything but no."

You glance between the two of them. "The two of you needed to show the other that you were better and broke the promise that you made to me two years ago. Is proving your worth to each other that important?"

Hansol and Minghao share a look before Minghao steps closer to you cautiously.

"Baobei." He softly calls out as he reaches for you. "We didn't mean for this to happen."

Hansol nods, also trying to get closer. "We're sorry that we got angry at each other and for the race. I swear when we do it again tomorrow—"

You bitterly laugh as Joshua's hand tenses on your shoulder, sensing the oncoming rage. "Tomorrow?" You ask softly.

"Yeah, when we actually can find a winner."

Joshua internally sighs as his grip on your shoulder tightens, hoping that it will help to ground you so that you don't unleash fury on the two men in-front of you. His hope however, goes down the drain when you break out of his hold.

"What the fuck is wrong with you two?" You lash out, the tears flowing freely down your face from how angry you are. The two men are stunned again as they stare at you before you toss your hands in exasperation. "I'm fucking done." You say as a laugh with absolutely zero humour escapes you.

"If the two of you race again tomorrow." You fix them with a hard stare as your heart breaks with the next words that come out of your mouth. "I'm done with you two."

Before either of them could even process what you meant or stop you, you turn on your heel and walk off. It takes one look from your childhood best friend to understand what you need as he gives you a small nod before taking your hand into his and walking off with you to his car. Joshua tosses your boyfriends a look of disbelief before shaking his head at them.

Hansol and Minghao just watch as you get into Joshua's car and leave, speechless and unsure what they did wrong. They fix each other with a look as Jeonghan stands there, looking at the two of them in utter disbelief.

"What just happened?" Are the first words out of Hansol's mouth as he stares at Jeonghan, hoping he knows the answer. Minghao, on the other hand, runs through every possible scenario in his head.

Jeonghan lets out a scoff at the clueless expression on both their faces. "You two are really stupid, you know." He deadpans out, making the two look at him a little more exasperatedly.'

He sighs, realizing that he needs to spell it out for them. "Both of you need to put your fucking egos to the side for second and look at what just walked away from you." He points towards where you and Joshua were. "That girl has been so patient with the two of you for God knows how many weeks, listening to the two of you argue while trying to be the middle ground for you both. She's been dividing her time, without any regard for herself and her well-being and she even let you both proceed with this stupid race despite her begging you not to do it."

Jeonghan shakes his head. "You guys claim that she's the best thing to have ever walked into your lives but because of this stupid fucking race, the two of you forgot the one thing that you promised to continue doing despite however much you were angry at each other." He pins them with a hard gaze. "Both of you broke your promise of remembering important dates."

Hearing that, Hansol immediately pulls out his phone before looking at the date for today.

12:48am on the 29th of June.

Hansol feels his heart shatter as he lets out a wrecked gasp, the date finally clicking in his head. "Hyung." He calls out to his counterpart who looks at him as Hansol shows him the screen. Minghao's face pales as it clicks into his head, his heart dropping into his stomach as his mind races.

Jeonghan watches the two of them go through mixed emotions and the five stages of grief before sighing.

"You two better find a way to fix this." He softly says. "If not, you're going to lose the most important person in your lives."

You can't remember the last time you've felt this empty. After Joshua took you to his place last night, he immediately sprinted to his closet to pull out your favourite hoodie of his and a pair of sweatpants that you left the last time the two of you had a sleepover. He ran a bath for you before he ushered you to it, wanting you to relax as much as possible.

When you had enough of the bath, you walked out of the bathroom to see that Joshua had ordered all your favourites. Stir fried mala sits on the table alongside your favourite bubble tea order as he gives you a smile.

You had given him a look of surprise, knowing how he felt about such an unhealthy combo. He just gave you a simple shrug and responded with a soft, "Figured we could use it today."

Those words alone were enough to cause your eyes to water as your older brother figure immediately plated you a plate with all your favourite ingredients. He passed you the bowl before putting on 'How to Train Your Dragon'. The intro of the movie plays as you leaned against his sofa, staring at the bowl of mala with a frown.

"Do you think I was too harsh on them?" You ask which makes Joshua stop eating, his food halfway to his mouth. He fixes you with a soft look before shaking his head as he places his chopsticks back onto his bowl.

He makes you look at him. "Darling." He softly says. "They were being absolute idiots. You had every right to act the way that you did because they hurt you with their actions. If you didn't stand up for yourself back there, they would've continued acting like that and you were doing what was right for yourself." He fixes you with a look.

"If you didn't do that, I would've probably done it for you anyways."

A soft watery laugh escapes you, which makes a small grin tug on Joshua's face. His hand goes to ruffle your hair in a very elder brother way before he gestures to the food in your hands. "Eat." He softly says. "And watch the movie, we're missing the best part."

You give Joshua a small smile before you nod and scoop up a spoonful of mala to eat. You turn your attention to the movie but you can't help the feeling of emptiness in your chest as you do. You love your boyfriends, you really do but they really hurt you and you couldn't help but feel less important to them. However, you couldn't bare the thought of having to actually break up with them. You loved them, you were sure of that. They filled your life with so much joy that you can't imagine dating or loving someone, the way that you love them.

Yet, on the night where they were supposed to treat you like a queen, ringing in your birthday, you spent it on your best friend's floor with a broken heart.

You sigh as you shake your head, your recollection ending as you stare at the ceiling in the guestroom of Joshua's house. You contemplate just staying in Joshua's house the whole day but you immediately push that thought aside because it's your birthday, you should do something you want to do instead of rotting in your best friend's house.

Luckily, Joshua shares the same sentiment as you.

"That's an amazing idea, darling." He says as he packs a tea to go for you as you're finishing up the special birthday breakfast that he had prepared for you.

Bacon and pancakes with a side of orange juice.

You had smiled when you first saw it, it was a childhood favourite of yours and it definitely brightened up your day just a little more.

Joshua walks over to you, placing the thermos on the table. "You did say you wanted to finish up the car before August so that you could show it to your parents when you go back and see them."

You swallow your last bit of food before nodding, a small smile on your face.

"It's a good distraction for sure." You say quietly as Joshua gives you a sympathetic smile. He glances at your phone that had been laid flat on the dining table.

He raises an eyebrow at it, "They haven't tried contacting you at all?"

You spare a glance at it, the pit in your stomach deep as you shrug. "I don't know." You answer honestly. "Put it on do not disturb as soon as I came here last night." You shake your head. "I don't wanna hear any of their half-excuses at the moment."

Joshua gives you another sympathetic look before reaching over and squeezing your hand. "Well," His tongue darts out to wet his tongue. "Happy Birthday, Sweetheart."

You give your older brother figure a small smile before he leans and gives you a kiss on the top of your head. "I should get going." You say softly, standing up. "Before the calvary arrives because they think they've given me enough space."

Joshua lets out a soft chuckle at your use of words as you give him a quirky smile. You slide your phone into your back pocket as you sling your bag over your shoulders. Joshua stands up with you as he holds your thermos of tea.

"Let's get going then." He says, giving you a smile as he opens the front-door for you.

FIRST MEETINGS

Joshua drops you off at your workshop before he presses a kiss to the top of your head and speeds off with the promise of seeing you after he finishes the errands he needs to run. You bid him goodbye before digging through your bag for the keycard to your garage.

A beep is heard before you push the door open and breathe in the smell that you've grown up with your whole life, your body immediately relaxing at the familiar comfort.

While Minghao and Hansol seek the thrill of the drive, you prefer to know the ins and outs of the machine. You had always been in love with cars, your dad being one of the main engineers for street racers back in the day. You always hung around and helped him grab his tools, your eyes wide with awe as he always manages to find whatever was wrong with the car.

Hence, he trained you for it, letting you take care of the workshop every other day so that you get some hands-on experience. Funnily enough, that wasn't where you met Minghao and Hansol.

It was one of the slower nights in the workshop. You spun on one of the chairs in the garage as you tossed a wrench up and down, your boredom reaching a new high. You almost fell out of your chair when your phone rang, piercing the silence.

"Shua?" You asked, a little confused as to why your best friend was calling you.

"Hey, you busy?" Joshua asked as his background noise booms in the background.

You winced a little at the loud sounds. "No, but where the hell are you? Why is it so noisy?"

Joshua ignored you, telling you that he was going to send you an address and to be there as soon as you could before he hung up the phone. You stared at your phone, bewildered as you wonder what the hell was going on.

You sighed before you made your way to lock up. If there was one annoying thing that your best friend knew how to do, it was to entice you enough that you'd drop everything to see whatever he was doing.

You get out of the car and stared at the underground racetrack with a confused expression on your face. What the hell was your best friend doing here. You walked through the different areas, taking in all the details of the place while keeping a keen eye out for your best friend.

"Darling!" Your ears perked up as you turn to the source of the greeting. You smiled to yourself as you saw Joshua jog to your side before he pulled you into a tight hug. "You made it!"

You scoffed. "You knew that I would come, Shua." You flicked his forehead. "Don't act all surprised now."

Your best friend let out a yelp from the pain before a pout appeared on his lips as he rubbed the spot you just flicked. "You hate me." He whined out, making you scoff.

"If I did, I wouldn't have locked up the shop early for you, dummy."

A ghost of a smile appeared on Joshua's face as soon as you said that statement as he feigned sentiment. You rolled your eyes before you grabbed his hand. "C'mon, show me whatever you want to show me." You muttered, which made Joshua let out a breath of a chuckle before he dragged you away from the current area.

"Why are you at a street racer course anyway?" You asked, raising an eyebrow at your best friend.

"Well, I own this establishment." Your jaw dropped open as you stopped walking, jerking Joshua back a little. He glanced at you, a confused expression on his face which meets your shocked one.

"You own an underground street racing establishment?" You asked, repeating the words slowly as if you had hoped that the words become more believable if you did.

Joshua chuckled at your expression and nodded. "Yep." He said, popping his 'p'. Without another word, he dragged you off towards God knows where as if everything was now suddenly clear.

You rolled your eyes at your best friend as you give up, letting him drag you wherever because you would have an easier time getting answers when Joshua was not so tunnel-visioned on where he wanted to go.

He dragged you through multiple crowds before the two of you appeared in-front of the VIP section. The security guard gave him a once over and a nod before letting the two of you into the closed off section.

"Shua!" A voice boomed over the music, making the two of you whip around to see a man with a leather jacket and jeans on, with a beer in hand. "Was wondering where you hurried off to."

The man glanced at you before a smirk appeared on his lips. "Well, well, well." He whistled out. "Looks like you brought a new friend."

Your best friend let out a scoff before he tugged you closer to him. "Out of your league, Jeonghan."

The man, Jeonghan, feigned a flabbergasted gasp as he placed his hand on his chest. "Ouch, Shuji." He muttered, a fake pout on his face. "Way to hurt a guy, why don't you."

Your best friend rolled his eyes before he said your name to the man in-front of you. "This is Jeonghan."

Jeonghan's expression did a full 360 as he gave you a smirk and a small salute with a wink. "Pleasure to meet you, sweetheart." His eyes twinkled with mischief. "I wonder why Shuji has been hiding you all this time."

"Probably because she's uncomfortable with you calling her sweetheart, Hyung." Your ears perked at the new voice that caused goosebumps to appear on your skin. You turned to see lanky, tall man, who was leaning against a nearby wall with blonde hair and a pair of sunglasses on the top of his head. He donned a white sleeveless shirt that effectively showed off his tattoos that dotted his arms and a pair of dark brown cargo pants with some timberlands.

He eyed you, making your pulse jump at the intensity of his gaze, feeling slightly warm under it. He was definitely one of the most attractive men that you've ever seen. Jeonghan scoffed, shaking his head as a ghost of a smile lingers on his lips.

"Minghao." He greeted, raising an eyebrow. "Where's your counterpart?"

Minghao doesn't answer at first, his gaze unwavered from your figure which makes you fidget slightly, a little exposed under his gaze. He noticed, his lips pulled up into a small smirk before he looked at Joshua and Jeonghan, acknowledging them for the first time since he had arrived.

"Hansol went to grab the two of us a drink." He answered easily before he pushed off the wall and made his way over to you.

"Are the two of you not racing today?" Joshua asked with a raise of his eyebrow. Minghao nods at that.

"We are. Hansol's just grabbing us some sparkling water before we have to head for the drive."

He stopped walking as he reached your side, his gaze calculated as he stared at you.

"Minghao." He said after a beat, reaching out his hand for you to grab. You blinked, a little stunned by how forward the handsome man was being before you took his hand into yours as softly replied with your name.

Minghao's lips quirked a little when he noticed your cheeks heat up as he tested how well your name rolled off his tongue. The air felt a little charged and dangerous as he held your gaze, your heartbeat in your ears before he pulled his hand back when someone held out a drink for him.

Everyone's gaze fell on the newcomer who made your breath hitch. There stood a man with the most gorgeous face and mullet that you've ever seen. He was dressed comfortably in a sleeveless ripped hoodie with ripped skinny jeans and a pair of gloves on.

"Ah, there he is." Jeonghan said, his gaze twinkled with mischief as he looked between you and the boys. "Hansol, meet Shuji's best friend."

Hansol's eyes pierced through your soul as he gave you a once over, just like Minghao had done before he held out his hand for you to shake.

"Pleasure to meet you." You felt hot under their gaze as you muttered the same, shaking the man's hand.

Jeonghan clapped his hands. "Right, not to be the weird party pooper here." He said cheekily, causing your cheeks to heat up more as he gave you a wink. "But I think our racers need to get to their starting positions and we should probably head up to the main control booth.

Jeonghan hooked an arm around Joshua's shoulders before he dragged him a little, making Joshua lose his grip on you. The older man gave the three of you a look before he dragged your best friend with him, despite his protests.

"Come find us when you're done, sweetheart." Jeonghan threw back to you with a shit-eating grin on his face. You silently cursed the man that you just met as you felt the heat of the two good-looking men's gaze on you.

You turned to them, a timid smile on your face as you shifted uncomfortably.

"Is this your first time at an underground race?" Hansol asked, noticing the minor fidgeting you were doing. You let out a nervous breath of a laugh as you nodded.

"Is it that obvious?" You wondered aloud as you eyed the two of them. A faint smirk appeared on Hansol's face as he nodded.

"Just a little, you look a little out of place." Your heart stuttered at that as you frowned.

"Like I don't belong?" You asked.

"Like you're a little too innocent for the likes of this." Minghao answered before he took a sip of his drink. The low rumble of his words made your stomach flutter as you willed for the heat on your cheeks to disappear.

"Is that a bad thing?" You asked, your voice soft as you peered upwards at the two of them.

The two shared a glance as you watched a common understanding pass through the two of them before they turned back to you as Minghao shook his head.

"Not at all, Baobei." He said, leaning in closer. The nickname made your heart stutter as Hansol leaned in as well.

"Just means we got a thing or two that we can teach you, Angel." The double meaning of his words and the low rumble of his voice made your stomach do flip flops as they stared intensely at you, making your knees feel weak.

A sound was heard from the speakers before you could even reply, which effectively broke the spell and hold that the two of them had on you. They glanced at the speaker.

"Well," Minghao drawled out. "That's our cue."

Hansol nodded as the two of them took a step back from you. "Will you cheer us on?" Hansol asked making you blink at them as they stared at you in anticipation.

"Probably." You answered. "I mean the two of you are the only drivers I know." You blurted out before even having the chance to stop yourself.

Minghao's smirk grew as he gave Hansol a look.

"Good." He said before he reached out and gave your hair a small ruffle. "Let's keep it that way."

You swear your heart skipped a beat or two after he said that as Hansol fixed you with a smirk. "See you after the race, Angel." He sealed off his sentence with a wink. "Can't wait to get to know you better."

With that, they left you standing there, a little dumbfounded as they prepared for their race. You stayed glued to the spot for a few minutes before you shook yourself out of it and composed yourself as your thoughts raced.

You had no idea what you had just gotten yourself into but as you recalled their faces through your mind, you bit back a grin.

What was the worst that could happen?

KISS AND MAKE UP

You don't know how many hours you've spent working under the hood of your dream car but when you pull yourself out from under it and actually check your phone after wiping your hands on the washcloth, it's already 5pm.

You sigh before you let your eyes drift lower to stare at your lockscreen. It's a picture of the three of you during one of the first few underground races after the three of you made it official. You feel your emotions get stuck in your throat as you see the big smile on your face as Minghao and Hansol just stared at you, a soft and fond smile on both their faces as they looked at you instead of the camera.

You feel your heart clench as you contemplate checking your notifications. You sigh before you turn off your 'do not disturb' and let the notifications roll upwards.

62 Missed Calls from Hansolie <3 48 Missed Calls from Hao <3 22 Unread Messages from Hansolie <3 24 Unread Messages from Hao <3 296 Unread Messages from 'The Reason We Drive'

2 Unread Messages from Hannie 1 Missed Call from Shua 1 Unread Message from Shua

You sigh, placing your phone back face down onto the desk as you smack your face lightly. "Get it together." You mutter to yourself. The amount of time you spent here really did help to clear your head but with all the muck and grease over yourself, you really need a shower before you even think about answering any of those messages.

You huff before pushing yourself off of the desk and tidy up your workspace before going to the washroom to take a shower, the dirt and grime making your skin crawl. You step out of the shower in a pair of ripped jeans, a fitting top with a windbreaker and sigh, feeling a lot more refreshed.

You walk back to your workshop, using the towel to dry off the remaining bits of water in your hair when you freeze, noticing the door to your garage open. You frown, recalling that you had shut the door behind you because you remember hearing the magnetic lock click in place after you did.

You slowly creep to the workshop as you hear some shuffling inside as well as some soft voices. You peak your head through the door before your heart stutters. Out of all the people you were expecting to see, Hansol and Minghao leaning against your workshop table, talking more than they had in the last few weeks, wasn't one of them.

"What the hell." Are the first words to leave your mouth, which alerts the two men who whip around to see you standing there, looking super confused.

The two man immediately scramble to stand up as they give you a nervous look, fidgeting every few seconds. You eye them skeptically as you slowly walk into the workshop, the towel still in your hands as you glance between them.

"How did you get in here?" You ask, a small frown on your face as you scrunch your eyebrows. "Better question, how the hell do you guys even know about this space?"

The two share a glance as you cross your arms.

"We might've dropped by Shua Hyung's house." Minghao admits, scratching the back of his neck. You raise an eyebrow at that, urging them to continue.

"We might've begged him to tell us where you were and when he wasn't looking, stole the keycard for your workshop." Hansol finishes.

Your eyes narrow. "How did you even know that keycard was for here?"

Hansol lifts up the keycard and stuck onto the card was a label which had your name and garage behind it in a cursive font. You roll your eyes. Of course your meticulous best friend had labeled the keycard so that he wouldn't forget what it was for.

The workshop has always been a sacred place for you, you never really told anyone about this place since your father had given it to you and it was a place for you to come to when you needed some sort of escape.

Joshua was the only one who knew about it because he had dropped by many times when the two of you were younger and after your dad had given it to you, it felt right to give him a keycard for access at all times.

"Well," You huff, unable to escape the inevitable conversation anymore. "You guys found me. I'm fine and you guys can go now." You try to step around them to retrieve your things when Hansol reaches out, gently grabbing your hand.

You've always been a little weak to either of their touch so it's no surprise when he's able to easily pull you back to stand in-front of them. You internally curse yourself for being a little easy but you still refuse to meet their eyes.

"Baobei." Minghao softly calls, ducking his head a little to try to meet your eyes. You stubbornly look away, making the older man sigh. "Can you look at us, please?" He softly begs, his tone sounding a little exhausted, almost as if he didn't sleep well.

You refuse, gnawing on your bottom lip which makes them change their strategy.

"Angel." Hansol starts, fidgeting with his hands. "We're sorry."

You stare at the floor as he continues. "We were stupid and let our egos get the better of us because we were frustrated at ourselves. We didn't mean to take it out on each other and more importantly…" You feel Hansol grab your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. "We didn't mean to take it out on you."

You purse your lips, still refusing to answer as you feel Minghao approach you before he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his chest as his head sits on your shoulder.

"We're also sorry for breaking our promise to you, to keep you happy and to always remember the special days. Even though we didn't mean to forget, it's no excuse because you mean the world to us and we're sorry that we didn't listen to you."

You feel Minghao brush a kiss to the side of your neck, causing a shiver to run down your spine. "Please forgive us."

You internally sigh before composing yourself as you pull out of their grasps to fully look at them. "It really hurt when the two of you wouldn't listen to me." You softly say as you fidget with the zipper of your windbreaker. "It felt like nothing I said mattered to you guys and I was just a personal comfort thing for both of you. It was like I didn't actually matter in this equation between the two of you when we're supposed to be in a relationship together."

You feel your eyes start to prick with tears as you sniffle. "It felt like I was just walking on eggshells in my— our own apartment, the one place that I am meant to feel the safest and I… I grew tired of it." You glance between the two of them as you watch their faces crack, the guilt in their eyes evident. "I was only there when you needed someone to rant to or someone to affirm what you guys were angry about. Neither of you asked me about my day or even cared enough to see if I had eaten. Even when I was tired, I still felt like I needed to cater to you two because I love you both so much and seeing you both fight really broke my heart."

You see their hands twitch, especially Hansol's, who wanted nothing more to reach out for you, to comfort you, but they were waiting for you to finish, not wanting to interrupt you.

"I don't really care that the two of you forgot my birthday." You admit softly, taking a step closer to the two of them. "I just didn't want you to get hurt because I love you both with everything I am and I can't imagine my life without the two of you."

As soon as you finish your sentence, Hansol is up from the desk and he all but tugs you into his warm embrace, his breathing a little shaky as his whole body wrecks with emotions.

"Angel." He softly breathes out into your ear, his voice shaky and soft, as if he was scared that you were going to disappear if he spoke any louder. "We're so sorry. We didn't mean to make you feel like you needed to take on the weight of the world. It was stupid of us and we were only thinking of ourselves and we know that it's no excuse but we want to make it up to you, please."

You bit the inside of your cheek, to will the tears that dot your waterline to not flow over as you breathe in Hansol's comforting woody scent before you smell a hint of an earthy light scent as Minghao wraps his arms around you as well, placing a soft kiss to your temple.

"He's right, Baobei. You have every right to be angry with us and you should care that we forgot your birthday. It's the one day where we're meant to celebrate you. Not that we shouldn't celebrate you everyday anyway, but it's the one day where the universe blessed us with you by bringing you into this world. We can't imagine not having you in our life and we're sorry that we let our ego get the better of us. We shouldn't have fought over who is more worth your time but be grateful that you choose to spend your time with us and love us despite how flawed we both are."

You peer upwards at the older man who gives a soft kiss to your forehead. "We love you." Minghao says, his voie barely above a whisper as he pulls back from you and gets on his knees, making your eyes widen as Hansol does the same.

"Please forgive us."

You glance between the two of them on their knees for you as a bewildered giggle escapes you as you smile at them, wiping away the tears in your eyes.

"You're both idiots." You say as you reach for both of them to tug them up. "Please get off the floor."

A ghost of a smile of relief lingers on Minghao's lips as he shakes his head. "We can't." He says, tugging you closer to the two of them, which makes a surprise giggle escape from your lips. "You need to forgive us first, Baobei." He says, bringing your hand to his lips as he brushes a kiss onto them.

Hansol nods, as he places his hand on the back of your thigh, making you squirm a little as he looks up at you. "Please say you forgive us, Angel."

You glance downwards at them as you realize the position that the three of you are in. Heat pools on the underside of your belly as you see the way that they catch on too, their eyes darkening beneath you.

You swallow before feigning a ponder, trying to keep your heart from racing. "Well…" You drawl out as you look between the two of them. "Maybe the two of you should show me how sorry you are." You softly say, letting your eyes pierce into theirs as you watch their pupils dilate slightly. "Then maybe, I'll forgive you."

There's silence for a little bit as they share a glance before they turn back to you with a smirk on both their faces.

"With pleasure, Baby."

Those are the last words that fall from Hansol's mouth before your boyfriends move. Minghao stands and pulls you into a searing kiss that elicits a gasp from your lips, making him groan as he slides his tongue into your mouth. Hansol, on the other hand, moves his hand upwards and under your shirt before he pushes himself up slightly on his knees to be able to kiss all around your stomach.

You feel yourself getting wetter at their touch as they continue to overstimulate you with their touch, each making your knees weaker and weaker. You let out a whiny moan as Hansol starts to tease your nipples, pushing your bra upwards for easier access. Minghao bites lightly on your bottom lip, making your mind blank as he continues to kiss you as if you are providing him with the oxygen to breathe.

Minghao pulls away, pressing two chaste kisses on your lips as the two of you catch your breath before your boyfriends move you towards where your car is. Hansol rips the canvas off of the car and lets out a low whistle as he catches the make and model of it.

"Damn, Angel." He looks at you, his eyes filled with lust as he gives you a smirk. "A baby blue 2004 Mazda RX-8?" You blink at him, slowly registering his question as you nod, your brain still foggy.

Minghao sends his partner-in-crime a smirk as he pulls you toward the car to lay you on the hood of it. He hovers above you as he eyes you up and down and devilishly smirks at how wreckced you already look.

"What a perfect car," He hums as he unbuttons your pants and pulls it down along with your underwear in one swift motion, making you gasp as the cold air hits your wet pussy. "To fuck you on."

Before you even have a chance to register his words, his mouth is on you, eating you out like a starved man. You gasp as your back arches and your eyes bulge. Hansol is next to you in a matter of milliseconds, his hands tight on your waist which effectively stops your squirming.

"Shhh." Hansol coos as he spots a few tears leaving your eyes. "Be a good girl and let Hyung eat you out like you deserve." Those words make your mind blank more as Minghao captures your clit into his mouth and sucks as it, groaning a little which sends a wave of pleasure through you as the vibrations roll through your body.

Your eyes roll as Hansol takes the opportunity to lift your shirt and bra up fully and over your head, his one hand still steady on your waist before he dips his head and wraps his mouth around your right breast.

You let out a loud moan as Hansol massages your breast while sucking and nipping at your right one. Minghao takes that chance to dip his tongue into your hole, fucking you with his tongue that makes you lose all sense of your sanity.

"Fuck." Minghao drawls out as he glances upwards to see Hansol switching and continuing his ministrations on your other breast. "You taste so heavenly, Baobei."

You whimper at his praise as he dips a finger into your folds, making you let out a gasp as he gathers your wetness onto them.

"Want a taste, Hansol?" Hansol is quick to pull away and take Minghao's fingers into his mouth, sucking erotically as he eyes you, making your jaw drop open as that gesture causes you to clench around nothing.

Minghao notices and smirks as his pupils dilate more. "Think you need a better taste, Non." Minghao all but whispers as he pulls his fingers out of Hansol's mouth with a soft 'pop'. "Want it?"

Hansol nods, making Minghao smirk as he pulls Hansol in for a kiss, licking into his mouth to let the younger man taste the remnants of you on his lips. You, however, are not forgotten as Minghao sinks two fingers into you without warning, making your eyes roll backward as he fingers you, hard and fast.

Your boyfriends pull away from each other, panting as Minghao gestures his head towards you. "Go on." Minghao goads, his voice low. "Eat her out while I finger her, Hansol."

That's all the command that Hansol needs before his mouth is on you, making you let out a loud broken moan, your legs shaking as their touch brings you closer and closer to the edge. Minghao, who notices that you are pursing your lips, a tell that you are almost close, immediately angles his fingers until they hit your g-spot inside of you.

The first time he hits it, you nearly cum on the spot from the shock of it, your body wretching upwards and making Minghao's angle change.

He looks at you with a slightly disappointed look as he shakes his head before his other hand moves to pin you to the car. "Be good, Baobei." He says sternly as he fixes you with a pout. "We can't make it up to you if you thrash around like that, so be still and let us give you what a birthday girl deserves."

Before you could even sob out a reply, Minghao captures your lips into a searing kiss as he re-angles his fingers to hit the same spot, harder now. You whine into his mouth as he licks and nips at your lips as Hansol sucks on your clit hard.

You feel yourself getting closer to the edge, your right hand gripping and pulling at Minghao's hair which indicates that to him. He pulls away from your lips before leaning down to your ear.

"Be a good girl and cum for us, Baobei." He whispers, his voice rumbly and low.

That command is all it takes as you let out another whiny moan before the coil in your stomach snaps and you cum all over Hansol's mouth. Hansol doesn't complain. In fact, he does the opposite and groans into your pussy as he begins to lap up at your elixir, not wanting to waste a single drop.

You feel like you've just seen the stars as Minghao coos sweet words at you and gives you soft pecks as his fingers still move inside of you, chasing the high of your release. You lets out a whine, your body shuddering as you feel the start of the overstimulation, making your hand fly to Minghao's arm.

He glances at it and nods before he nudges Hansol, lightly with his foot. Hansol immediately pulls away from your pussy, the lower half of his face shiny with your slick, making your cheeks heat up as he gives you a slightly dazed smile.

You whimper as Minghao's fingers slide out of you, still sensitive from cumming. He brings his fingers to his mouth and leaks them clean while staring straight into your eyes making the butterflies in your stomach flutter as he groans.

You glance around for Hansol who is back at your desk, digging around your table for a little bit before he finds what he is looking for. He returns with some wipes and a bottle of water from his bag as helps you to sit up. He opens the bottle in one quick twist before placing a straw into it.

"Slowly." He gently mutters as he watches you drink the water. "Don't want you to choke."

Your heart warms at his concerns as he opens the wipes and hands one to Minghao. You watch, with the bottle in hand, as your boyfriends wipe you clean, making sure to be extra careful around your private parts as they don't want to overstimulate you. Minghao helps to pull up your underwear and pants as Hansol helps you adjust your bra and your shirt, brushing it downwards so that it doesn't wrinkle.

Hansol presses a chaste kiss onto your lips as he helps you to fix your hair, causing you to give him a small, lovesick grin which he returns before he plants a kiss onto your nose, making you giggle.

Minghao smoothens out your ripped jeans before rising and planting a kiss onto your forehead. "Do you forgive us, Baobei?" He wonders softly, looking at you at eye level as you give him a soft grin before nodding.

"I do." You say, giving him a quick peck on his lips. A cute smile appears on his face which makes your heart race as Hansol takes the bottle of water from your hand and shifts the straw for himself to drink.

"Good." Hansol hums after he gulps the water down. "Would be pretty awkward for the two of us to go to your birthday dinner without you."

Your heart flutters at his words as you glance between the two, a smile of excitement appearing on your lips. "Really?"

The two of them look a little offended by your question as they crouch down to meet your gaze a little better as you still sit on your dream car.

"Angel." Hansol starts, grabbing your hand into his. "We were serious about making it up to you. We will never ever forget your birthday again for the rest of our lives and if we do, you have full permission to leave us."

That pulls a soft giggle out of your lips, making Hansol crack a small smile as Minghao continues. "We love you, Baobei. We were in the wrong and we also re-promise that the two of us will not be on the same track ever again. Just because we always want one of you to be here with us because baby, you might not need us, but we both sure as hell need you."

You feel your chest ache at their words as you squeeze both their hands. "Silly boys." You mutter glancing between the two of them. "I sure as hell need you both too. So don't ever say something silly like that ever again."

Your boyfriends flash you smiles before you stand up, tugging them up with you.

"So…" You eye the two of them eagerly. "Where are we going?"

Your boyfriends sneakily glanced at each other before giving you a knowing smile.

"You'll see."

FOREVER AND ALWAYS

"I love you both so much." You sigh out, glancing at your boyfriends who are lying on either side of you on the grassy hill that they took you too. "This is absolutely perfect."

Minghao gives you a grin as he pushes himself up, leaning on his elbow. "Well, we know that you didn't want a big birthday bash this year so we decided that it should just be the three of us. Plus," He darts his tongue out to wet his lips. "Hansol and I had a lot of apologizing to do."

"And I forgive you both." You mutter. "You both planned an amazing birthday for me."

It's true, they had.

After they helped you to pack up the rest of your garage, you guys dropped by Joshua's house to give him back his key, which led to a twenty minute sigh-lecture fest from your childhood best friend before you physically had to push your boyfriends out of the door so that he doesn't rip them a new one for stealing from him.

You promised the two that they would get keycards from you in the coming days because you trusted them and it was honestly something that you should've given them a year or two ago.

Hansol was particularly interested in that because he wanted to help you out with fixing the car and learning from you. "It will probably help me to be a safer and better driver." He hums out in the car. "Not many racers have the knack for knowing what's going on in the organs of the car."

Minghao had scoffed at Hansol's word choices but was excited to see you in action, all the same.

They drove you to one of the nearby taco truck that is your go-to and ordered a few before they drove you to 'Lover's Hill'. A stargazing spot that had been on their mind for ages.

The three of you ate happily as they asked you to talk about the car before you guys started to stargazing at the beautiful night sky.

"It's our pleasure, Baobei." Minghao softly says as he leans in to press a kiss to your temple. "You are the reason we do this, y'know?"

You tilt your head to the side. "To do what?"

"Drive." Hansol answers, making you peer at him as he too, leans on his elbows. "You're the reason we drive."

You swear you're going to break down into a second fit of sobs if they continue to say things like this to you. "I love you both, so much."

Hansol and Minghao grin at you. "We love you more, Angel."

"Forever and always, Baobei."

You smile up at them before giving a thought crosses your mind, making you give them a small smirk. "Y'know…" You drawl out, pushing yourself up and leaning on your palm as you glance between the both of them. "This hill is called 'Lover's Hill for a reason…"

Your boyfriends share a glance before turning back to you, small smirks on both their faces.

"Oh, really?" Minghao asks softly, leaning in closer. You nod, your breathing hitching slighly at how close they're getting.

"Maybe you should enlighten us, Angel." Hansol says, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip.

You look between the two men in-front of you and smile to yourself at how much love the three of you have for each other and looking at them, you honestly see forever.

"With pleasure."

©livmarauder2026Thank you guys so much for reading my v8 birthday fic! I do hope you guys truly enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! <3 More fics to come!! Like my work? Join my Permanent Taglist! All my fics are 18+, which means blogs without age or age indicator will not be tagged! If you like this, please consider reblogging or liking! It really makes my day! <3 Thank you for showing our hyperpop v8 street racers so much love!

"Alright, I think we can get started. Welcome back! I hope your winter break was rock solid". A collective mix of groans and giggles ring across the room. You make eye contact with your cohort leader and you shoot her a thumbs up as a means of encouragement. She continues through announcements about department funding and you aren't really paying too much attention until she mentions Teaching Assistant roles.

"Lastly, the assignments for the classes that you'll be assisting in this semester will be emailed by the end of the day. Meetings with your working professor should happen before the end of the week." She claps her hands together, signaling that the meeting was over and you saunter over to Shotaro. He envelopes you in a hug and asks about you about your break. You divulge all the details of your winter break as the two of you walk to the cafe across the street from your department building.

When you walk in, there's a table of your friends who flag you down when they notice the two of you. Warm greetings and hugs are shared within the group. Shotaro walks over to the counter and orders for the both of you, while you catch up with the others at the table. A feeling of deja vu falls over as you recount the details of your winter break. Shotaro returns with your iced London Fog, chastising you for drinking a cold drink even during the winter.

"I like what I like Taro, sue me!" You say with a shrug and everyone at the table laughs. Everyone is wrapped in their own conversations, including you, when all of your phones collectively buzz. You're the first to read the notification and announce to the group that TA assignments were out. Everyone scrambles to look at their phones. There's a bit of silence before they all starts reacting to the email. You're still scanning the email and then you finally see your name.

You try to hide the smile on your face when you read the little asterisk at the end of the email, but Shotaro immediately notices and nudges you.

"What's with the smile Y/N?"

All the eyes at the table have looked up from their phones and turned to you. The smile that was hiding breaks out when you tell everyone that you were assigned as a Head TA with Dr. Choi. Oooohs and claps ring around the table for you. Jeonghan, who was sitting across from you, lets out a whistle and gives you a high five when he realizes that the two of you would be working together again. He goes back to read the email and then he makes a face.

"What is it Jeonghan," you ask earnestly.

He bites his lip and shoots out a lie that it was something else. But you know him well enough to tell when he's lying. The two of you were in the same seminar in your first semester and spent enough time to be able to call his bluff the way you are right now. This captures everyone's attention and soon the two of you are being pestered to read out the list of TA's for Dr. Choi's class. Not seeing what the big deal is, you unlock your phone and start listing out the names.

"Chaewon." Everyone has nothing but nice things to say about Chaewon. You've seen her at department meetings and mixers. You don't know much except for the fact that her focus is in evolutionary biology.

"Chenle." The same thing as Chaewon, any person who knows him has nothing but nice things to say. You know that Chenle and Shotaro are quite close as they've been friends for a really long time. They went to the same school for undergrad and were part of the same fraternity, Nu Chi Theta. Eventually Shotaro parted ways with the frat to join Rho Zeta Epsilon, but the two stayed in touch. You've met Chenle several times during some of your hangouts with Shotaro.

"Obviously, Yoon Jeonghan," You say matter-of-factly and there are boos from the table. Several people utter the word menace and you laugh. You skip yourself on the list because that fact is what started this whole conversation in the first place.

"Altair," saying your friend's name brings a smile to your face. You're relieved that you know more than one person in this class. It just makes your life a hell of a lot easier when you can get along with the people you're spending an entire semester with. Everyone agrees when you talk about how welcoming she always makes anyone in her circle feel.

"And lastly, the other Head TA, Lee Seokmin."

A hush falls over the table. You yourself have never met Lee Seokmin, but you've seen his name plastered everywhere. Even in undergrad when you were compiling research for your capstone thesis, you used an article he published. The reaction from your friends made you feel a bit uneasy.

"Okay guys seriously why is no one saying anything?" A beat passes. Everyone at the table is shifting glances at each other, like they were all thinking the same thing but waiting for the one brave person to actually let the thoughts out. Turning to Shotaro, you shoot him a pleading look and beg with your eyes to clue you into this weird reaction that everyone is having. You see him look across the table to Jeonghan who shakes his head no and you slam your hand down on the table.

"Someone tell me what the heck is going on," you whine towards Shotaro. You can see the pity in his eyes as he look towards Jeonghan. The two of them are having an argument with just their eyes and you break it by whining again. You don't mean to act like a child throwing a tantrum, but your nerves are already shot from the shared silence of the table. Thankfully, Jeonghan puts you out of your misery.

"Okay I'm gonna level with you. Seokmin's not… how do I say this…" He look towards the rest of the group for help to finish his sentence. They all murmur to themselves trying to fill in his blank.

"He's not exactly well-known for being kind." A look of shock appears on your face. This is what they were all having a conniption over? The fact that your co-head wasn't friendly? Before you can say anything Jeonghan continues. He resumes to tell you that Lee Seokmin is someone that you should probably steer clear of. That he doesn't play well with others, that he's clearly a burnt out senior grad student who doesn't really like sharing. It's like the floodgates opened once Jeonghan finishes because then everyone at the table starts chiming in with their own little tidbits and interactions with Seokmin.

All of their comments shared the same sentiment: Lee Seokmin is a gray cloud of human and you're bound for a storm.

WEEK ONE

The first day of class is tomorrow and you have yet to see or hear from Seokmin. After your friends took their turns warning you about him, it was safe to stay you were even more intimidated by him than ever. If anyone asked you right now though, you'd say you are mildly annoyed as you've had to assume all of the responsibilities of prepping for this semester since your "partner" had been missing the entire time. You also have the pleasure of having the first discussion section after the first lecture, so you find yourself holed up in the shared office space revising your section notes.

A ping comes from your laptop and you switch over to the tab that has your university email opened. You sigh when you realize that the notification was just an automated reminder email for the first day of class. Clicking out of the email, you eye the email that you had sent to Seokmin last week, there's an orange message in the preview line.

Sent 5 days ago. Follow up?

A frown crinkles your lips downwards, surely the senior graduate student with this much responsibility wouldn't just ignore your email? You sit up and begin to draft a follow-up.

From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Subject: RE: Norming and Schedules Hi again, I just wanted to follow up on my last email to make sure you got it! We have classes in a week and I'd really love to get some 1:1 time to make sure we're on the same page. I can work with whatever schedule you've

Something compels you to stop typing. The blink of your cursor matches the soft click of your wristwatch, both of them taunting you, waiting for your next move. Swiping your cursor down to the taskbar, you check the time. It's a half hour past eight and there are fifteen hours left before the first lecture of the semester. Staring a bit longer at the nudge notification, you decide that nothing will stop you from having a good semester and close out of your email tab. You don't need this jaded senior who has clearly shown no intention of caring about this class.

Being chosen as a Head TA when you were only in your second semester was a big deal to you. Especially when it was under the tutelage of Dr. Choi Minho. You'd known Dr. Choi for longer than most of your cohorts as you'd taken an intership in his research lab during your undergraduate studies. Highly revered in the academic space for his research, you knew that working with and for him was a coveted spot. To be chosen out of so many students in your department, especially those with more years under your belt, was not something you were going to take for granted. Not something you were going to squander over a guy you've never even met, a guy who couldn't bother to show up.

An endorsement from him was a golden ticket in the academic field of Anthropology. When the bell tower on campus signaled that it was now nine, you decided that you would do your absolute best to prove yourself worthy of this decision. Nothing was going to stop you from being the best, especially not Lee Seokmin.

The First Lecture

The lecture hall was empty when you arrived. Of course it was, who shows up 45 minutes early to a lecture?

You do.

After you comes Dr. Choi and the rest of the TA's in your lecture filter in. Dr. Choi is configuring his laptop to the podium while you and the others are making small talk. Your head is on a swivel as the students filter in. Lee Seokmin is nowhere to be found.

Soon enough the lecture hall buzzes with all of the students and there are only a few minutes until class begins. Whispering in Jeonghan's ear, you question the missing scary senior he'd warned you about. He cranes his neck around the hall and you follow his eyes. Turning back to you he shrugs, telling you that he doesn't see him. Another string of annoyance bubbles inside you. As you walk towards the back of the room to take your seat, there's a string of grumbles coming from you.

Missing prep week? Fine, that happens.

Ignoring your emails about prep week? Rude but not the worst thing in the world?

Missing the first day of class? You marveled at how this guy could possibly have been chosen as the other Head TA

Dr. Choi begins his lecture and as he walks through his introductions, your mind races through the list of reasons why your co-TA is missing. The annoyance that was running through your body immediately dissipates when you think that he might be dealing with something serious. Ever the empath, you start to feel bad that you'd been so quick to jump to conclusions. Especially about someone you've never really met.

WEEK TWO

It's the last hour of your office hours and not a single student has shown up. You aren't that surprised as it is only the second week of the semester, but you did try to emphasize during lectures and sections that your office hours were not only for matters regarding class work or concepts. The iced tea you'd been nursing has formed a ring of condensation on your desk and you frown, using the sleeve of your sweater to wipe up the wet circle.

You finish your iced tea and whip out your phone to text your friends about grabbing dinner. As soon as you press send, a knock has your head perking up to check out the noise. The red oak door has swung open and you see a student from your discussion section has stopped by.

"Hi Y/N, sorry I know your hours are almost ov—"

"—Don't be silly! Come in!" You wave them over with a big smile on your face. Asking them to remind you of her name, she introduces herself as Sophia and you offer her the seat across from you. You turn the brightness of your star shaped lamp up higher and ask her what brought her to your office hours.

Pulling out her laptop, she admits that she is having trouble understanding the assigned reading for the week and you reassure her that Carsten's work is not the most accessible so it is no surprise that she was having a hard time with the text.

"Tell you what, why don't you pick out the parts that were the most difficult for you and we can work through them together," you say with a smile and gesture torwards her laptop. Nodding back, she scrolls down a few pages to a highlighted bit of text. You read the passage aloud and when you finish, she explains that she thinks she understands the concept of kinship but can't see the connection to functioning societies. Gently, you guide her through the connection, taking the extra time to pause in between points in case she had any questions.

The two of you continue like this and before long, you've gone through every bit of text. When she finishes the last of her notes, she glances at her watch and her eyes go wide.

"Oh! I am so sorry, it's an hour past your scheduled office hours," she profusely continues worried about the time she's impeded on. Assuring her that it was alright, you tell her that it was actually a delight in helping her. That is what a good chunk of your job is as a teaching assistant. Quickly packing up her things, she apologizes one last time before leaving your office and yelling out that she would see you at the next lecture. The door shuts and you glance at your phone which is flooded with notifications from your friends confirming dinner plans and then being concerned since you stopped answering. Swiftly replying that you got caught up in your office hours, you said you would just meet them at the restaurant.

You are halfway through cleaning up when you hear the door open. Well less of an open, it actually slams into the wall from how hard it was opened. You're about to sternly scold whatever student rudely scared you but when you look up, it's none other than Lee Seokmin himself. You were starting to believe that he was just never going to show and you were gonna have to shoulder this entire semester yourself, but here he is. He's younger than you expected.

He's dressed in a navy blue button up, with a gray sweater vest and light blue jeans. Your friends described him as a burnt out senior, but this outfit screams "I have my life figured out and you should feel bad that you don't". Black square glasses sit on top of his unexpectedly handsome face. No one mentioned how attractive Seokmin was.

"Hi!" You gleefully say as you get up. No reply from him. Realizing that your thoughts are proabbaly displayed all over your face, you straighten yourself out. Observing him some more, you notice that he has an earbud in one ear, deducing that he might not have heard you when you greeted him, you raise your voice a little when you start talking.

"Sorry! I'm sure you were expecting an empty office. I just had a student meeting run long—"

"—You done in here?" He sounded bored, almost irritated. He hasn't looked up from the phone in his hand since he got here.

"Oh… Y-yeah. All yours." Dejectedly, you swing your bag over your shoulder and make your way out of the office. Before you're all the way out the door, you turn around.

"It was nice to meet—" The door slams closed in your face. "You," you whisper to the door. Utterly confused by what just happened, you begin the descent downstairs in a questioning daze. You phone buzzing in your pocket pulls you out of your daze, you glance down and see that Shotaro is calling you. The second you answer, he's asking if you were still on your way. Answering that you'd be there in less than ten minutes, you also add on that you just had the weirdest interaction with Seokmin and will need to talk about it with everyone during dinner. Hearing him relay the information to your crew, they cheer at the fact that they can start eating soon. Shotaro tells you to get there safely and you hang up the phone after humming in response.

You get to PANG! and when you enter, you're greeted with the comforting smell of scorched rice and kimchi jjigae. It doesn't take you long to find your friends as you hear their unmistakeable laughter. The first person to make eye contact with you is Jeonghan who immediately waves you down, scooting over to make space for you. As you're skipping over, Seungcheol scowls at Jeonghan getting all up in his space, until he realizes that it's for you. When you arrive at the table, his eyes crinkle up in a smile when he greets you. The mention of your name has everyone turning to the end of the table where you're situated and you're welcomed with smiles and cheers. Jeonghan jokingly snarks that you were holding up dinner.

"God, finally! I was scared Cheollie was gonna eat me if you had been any later!" Sitcom like laughter goes around the table.

"Shove it Yoon." You reply without a second thought.

There are small gasps that go around and there's even a look of shock on Jeonghan's face. Anyone who knows you, knows that you're not necessarily one to shoot back any sass. It's just not who you are as a person. You're the kind of person that cries at old people getting eliminated off The Great British Bake Off. The person who will be late to a meeting just because you wanted to help a bee out of the walkway. The type of person to immediately apologize when you say something remotely snappy.

"Sorry," you say squeezing his arm as you slide into the seat. He ruffles your hair, knowing that you had no ill intent behind it. Seungcheol pinches Jeonghan's side, or that's what you assume when you feel him jump next to you.

"Don't be sorry Sunshine, someone has to put him in his place every once in a while." Seungcheol comments as he places a kiss on Jeonghan's cheek, after the younger one whines that the two of you are bullying him. Your group laughs at their antics and when the volume dies down, food starts being laid out on your table. The spice and heat of kimchi stew floods your nose and wraps you in a warm velvety hug. The clanging of spoons and slurping of soup are the only sounds that can be heard from your table for the next couple of minutes. Every once in a while an involuntary moan comes from Jeonghan and you have to keep your composure to make sure you don't choke on the hot soup you're funneling into your mouth.

The sound of spoons quiets down as everyone empties their bowls. Shotaro's the first to ask about what held you up. After cooling down your burnt tongue, you delve into your encounter with Seokmin.

Seokmin's POV

The door slams before she even finishes her sentence. He hears his mother on the other line click her teeth.

Unbeknownst to you, you are not the only one recalling this conversation. On the other side of campus, Seokmin is taking in the office space where you left him. The first thing he notices is how the room distinctly smells like jasmine and lychee. He wants to crinkle his nose in disgust at the sweetness of it.

Getting out of bed, you decide to drop the bottom of your pajama set, changing the shorts out for a pair of panties instead. You leave the tank top on for now, trying your luck at falling asleep now.

You still feel like dying.

There must be something wrong with the walls, flooring—you don't know. But there has to be something wrong with this room. There is no way it can still be this hot despite all your tries at reducing the heat.

Groaning, you lie flat on your back, staring up at the ceiling. If you can't bear the heat now, what are you going to do when Wonwoo comes back? The two of you have always slept cuddled together and you don't want to change that. But his body heat never does well to you and you end up without any sleep at night.

You're quick to discard your top as well, letting it drop to the ground as you stay in bed in just your panties, the rest of your skin on full display. You close your eyes for what feels like the hundredth time, giving falling asleep another chance.

As much as you'd love to sleep, you don't get a chance to see if the lack of clothing helps you keep the heat down as the bedroom door opens and Wonwoo comes back in, ready to join you in bed. Your name slips past his lips, forcing your eyes open as you question what he needs.

Wonwoo's eyes trail down your body, taking in every inch of your naked skin. There was no part of him that thought he'd be coming here to this. He certainly isn't complaining, though. You, sprawled out on his bed, your hair a mess on the pillow, your chest on full display, your nipples greeting him, and your pussy covered with a simple lacy sage fabric that would be so easy for him to take down.

You watch as his cock grows hard under the fabric of his sleep shorts, your eyes widening. "It's too hot in here," you excuse, turning to lay on your side.

Mistake. Big fucking mistake.

Your breasts squeeze together, appearing much bigger now than they did when you were on your back. Your ass has also joined the sight this time, and it all makes Wonwoo feel like he's going insane. "Tell me about it," he breathes out, unable to take his eyes off you. There is so much for him to look at. He doesn't have enough eyes. "Is this helping?" He steps closer to you slowly, watching as your cheeks flush.

"I didn't have a chance to figure it out yet," you mumble, your eyes following every one of his movements. His shorts rest low on his hips, the rest of his body on full display for you. He always sleeps like this but somehow, it feels much more intimate tonight. Is this how he feels watching you lie here practically naked? Is his head spinning at the sight of you like yours is over him?

"What if I want to make you warm again?" He asks, a smile spreading on his lips as he comes to your side, your head tilted back so you can look up at him. "You're so beautiful, my love."

Squeezing your thighs together, you bat your eyelashes at him. "Depends if getting warm is worth it."

"I think it'll be worth it," he nods, creating a smile on your face as well.

Pushing yourself up, you sit on the edge of the bed, opening your legs so he can step between them. Brushing your hair behind your ears, he cups your face gently before leading down and pressing his lips to yours. You wrap your hands around him without pulling away, leaning back and tugging him with you. With your back flat against the mattress, you let him climb up so he hovers over you, his lips grazing your skin. From your jaw to your breast—he's got it all covered.

Sighing in pleasure, you rock your hips forward as his lips take in your nipple. Your boyfriend's tongue has always been skilled—a fact he reminds you of each time you're naked together. You love when he has his mouth on you, no matter where he decides to find his home. Tonight it's your chest, and you absolutely love it.

Squeezing your other breast in his hand, he makes you moan as he rolls your nipple between his fingers. He pinches the little bud as well as tugs on it, your eyes closed and your head tilted back. You're not sure where to put your own hands, needing to feel all of him. From his broad shoulders, to his chest and waist, down to his ass and then crotch. He groans against your skin as you wrap your hand around his length through the fabric covering him.

"Won," you moan, giving his cock a tight squeeze in hopes of getting some release. He hums, rocking his hips into you.

"I know, baby," he whispers, kissing your breast once more before he pulls back to look at you. He's left a mark around your nipple, one he admires proudly. Letting his hand wander between your legs, he feels how wet you are on his fingers. "Look at you," he coos, unable to hold back a smile. "This is why you decided to sleep naked tonight, isn't it? You wanted us to end up like this."

You hum, unable to tell him no now that you have him between your legs. You wouldn't say that's what you planned all along—you really just wanted to be less hot—but you're also not confident in yourself. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you dig your heels into his lower back and bring him closer. "Will you do something about it?"

Wonwoo groans at the sight of your pouty lips, not hesitating anymore and tugging your panties down, exposing you completely. His shorts are gone next, your naked bodies melting together as he puts his lips to yours once again. You exchange open mouthed kisses as he nudges his tip against your clit, teasing you before he allows himself to dip inside. Your nails scratch onto his back at the stretch you feel, heavy breathes leaving your lips.

He looks down to your connected bodies, biting back a curse as your walls clench around his length. Your breasts move along with him, calling out to his hands again. He takes care of them thoroughly, playing with your nipples while his hips move into yours.

You keep him close to you as he fills you up perfectly—just like he always does. You don't think you'll ever get enough of him. Wonwoo is intoxicating—from his smell to his touches. You feel drunk on him every time you're like this, and tonight is no different.

So many lewd sounds fill your room, you're sure your neighbors will leave complains in the morning. Neither of you seem to care, too in the pleasure to control yourself properly.

Your orgasm approaches first, your walls fluttering around him. You use the thrusts following your release to ride out your high, moaning into his ear. It's when you scream his name as he rubs your clit that his pace shutters, his head falling to your shoulders. You don't need to ask to know he's about to come. "In," you beg. "Please, in."

A loud whimper fills your ears and it takes you a second to figure out it's not your own voice but Wonwoo's. God. A second orgasm comes crashing down your body faster than you can comprehend it, accompanying his own.

He presses his lips to your to contain the cries coming from you, holding you as close as he possibly can, his hands nothing if not loving. Your bodies lock together on the bed, pressed to each other even as he pulls out of you. He kisses your face all over, soft whispers of love etched into your skin as he coos you to sleep.

Turns out you can sleep even when your body is all burning as long as he's by your side.

SOMETHING NEW

You lay in bed while staring up at the ceiling. You were still hurting from your relationship. After all, four years was no joke. You were numb and you were sick and tired of everyone telling you that it'll pass.

There were only so many times someone could tell you that you'd be okay before those words lost its meaning. It had been three months since the breakup. Three months since you packed the last of his things into a box. Three months since you watched him walk away. You never asked him to stay. Three months was long enough for everyone around you to assume you'd moved on.

You haven't. Not really.

You were inconsolable before, but now, you were sort of a functioning citizen. You went to work, answered messages, laughed at the right moments, and even remembered to water your plants by the windowsill. But every now and then, usually when you were alone, you'd catch yourself wondering when your heart would stop hurting.

A knock on your door echoed through your apartment, making you slowly sit up. You doubted it was him, but you still kind of hoped it was. The person knocked again and with a heavy sigh, you got out of bed and answered the door. As soon as you unlocked it, Seungkwan was already inviting himself inside with a bunch of stuff (i.e., food, drinks, care kits you might need, etc.).

"You look alive," he announced, slipping off his shoes. "That's an improvement."

You blinked. You weren't expecting him. Heck, you weren't expecting anyone. "Well, hello to you, too."

"I'm serious." He glanced around the apartment before setting everything on the coffee table and dropping onto your couch. "You've officially spent enough time moping."

"I haven't been moping."

"You reorganized your bookshelf alphabetically and by color." Seungkwan nodded towards your bookshelf.

You sat next to him. "It was therapeutic."

"It was concerning."

You rolled your eyes, but a small, reluctant smile tugged at your lips. Seungkwan noticed immediately. "There she is," he pointed dramatically. "I knew my best friend was still in there."

"I hate you."

"No, you don't."

He fully turned to you. "So."

You narrowed your eyes. "No."

"I haven't even said anything!" Seungkwan whined.

"You've got that scheming look on your face. What are you plotting, Boo?" You eyed him suspiciously.

"Fine!" Seungkwan said exasperatedly. He leaned over the coffee table, grabbed a bag of chips, and opened it. He grabbed a piece and ate it while you stared at him, waiting for whatever scheme he had to say. "I want you to go on a blind date. I swear, I think I've hit the jackpot this time. So much so, you'll name your first born after me."

"Absolutely not." You shook your head.

"Aw, c'mon. Don't be like that!" Seungkwan huffed, eating another chip. "He's tall, ridiculously handsome, a great cook, he's such a giver! Give him a chance!"

"Seungkwan, please." You groaned. "I'm not ready. Besides, what if he's just like—"

"Don't compare him to Jeonghan, Y/N. They're different guys." Seungkwan said, leaning back and continued eating chips. "I'm a Jeonghan anti, but I guess he's not totally evil. He's just... built different."

"The answer is no."

-

"I want you to go on a blind date. I swear, I think I've hit the jackpot this time. So much so, you'll name your first born after me." Seungkwan smiled, repeating the same spiel to Mingyu.

Mingyu looked up in thought. "Okay, but what if our child is a girl? We can't name her 'Seungkwan'."

Seungkwan's eye twitched. The different answers he got gave him whiplash. "Then name her Boo Youmi."

"Boo Youmi?" Mingyu made a face. "Shouldn't it be 'Kim Youmi'? I'm the dad, not you."

Seungkwan pursed his lips, "Boo Youmi is a cute name. 'Kim Youmi' sounds incomplete. Name her 'Kim Boo Youmi'."

"Absolutely not." Mingyu shook his head.

"How about 'Kim Youmi Boo'?" Seungkwan asked.

"Kim Youmi is final, Kwannie."

"Ugh, we're getting sidetracked!" Seungkwan exclaimed. "So, go on this blind date with my best friend. She's—"

"Sure." Mingyu said with zero hesitation. Seungkwan was expecting Mingyu to whine. He didn't expect such a direct answer.

"...That's it? You're not going to make me beg?" Seungkwan eyed him suspiciously.

Mingyu shrugged. "Yeah, that's it. Unless..." Mingyu smirked. "...Unless begging is a kink of yours that you weirdly want me to fulfill. If so, I'm honored, Kwannie."

"Ew! Shut up, himbo!" Seungkwan said, causing Mingyu to laugh. Seungkwan gave Mingyu a dirty look. He tried to keep it that way, but it's been a while since he heard Mingyu laugh. Like you, Mingyu's heartbroken, too.

When Mingyu's laughter died down, he cleared his throat and looked at Seungkwan. "I think I'm ready to meet someone."

Seungkwan gave him a small smile. "Yeah?"

Mingyu nodded. "I mean, I don't think I'll ever be ready." He rubbed the back of his neck. "But I don't want one relationship deciding what the rest of my life looks like."

"You're SO gonna love me for this, Kim Mingyu."

-

Saturday arrived faster than either of you expected. You didn't know how Seungkwan was able to persuade you into going on this date with some rando, but here you were. You stood in front of your closet with your arms crossed, staring at the clothes hanging inside.

"...Seriously?" You sighed. "So many clothes, yet nothing to wear."

Nothing looked right. You pulled out a sweater, too casual. A dress, too much. A blouse, too boring. With a sigh, you tossed everything onto your bed until half your wardrobe was scattered across the comforter. Somewhere in the pile, your phone buzzed.

[kwannie 🍊]: don't cancel.

You rolled your eyes.

[y/nie <3]: I'm genuinely thinking about it.

Three dots appeared almost immediately.

[kwannie 🍊]: no, you're not :p

-

Across town, Kim Mingyu was experiencing a crisis of his own. Three shirts were laid neatly across his bed. He held up the first one.

"...No."

The second.

"Ew, definitely not."

The third.

"...Maybe."

Unsure, he snapped a picture and sent it to Seungkwan.

[mingoo]: quick! blue or white???

The reply came within seconds.

[seungkwannie]: white.

Mingyu stared at the message.

[mingoo]: that's what I was thinking, too! [seungkwannie]: asdfghjkl then why'd you ask?! [mingoo]: for emotional support, ofc!

-

You settled on something simple. Cute enough to make an effort. Comfortable enough to leave in if the date went terribly. Standing in front of the mirror, you adjusted your sleeves before letting your hands fall to your sides. You looked... fine. Not amazing. Not terrible. Just fine. That would have to do.

-

Mingyu buttoned the last button of his shirt before taking a step back from the mirror. He frowned.

"...Maybe I should change."

Five minutes later... He was wearing the exact same shirt.

One spray of cologne. He paused. "...Too much?"

He sniffed his wrist. "...Maybe one more."

Another spray. A beat. "Okay, that's definitely too much."

-

You grabbed your bag, checked for your wallet, keys, and phone. Everything was there. Good.

You reached for the doorknob. Stopped. Exhaled. You could still text Seungkwan that you weren't coming. You could crawl back into bed. Pretend this never happened. Your phone buzzed again.

[kwannie 🍊]: you're leaving now, right? [y/nie <3]: unfortunately [kwannie 🍊]: 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

-

On his way to the restaurant, Mingyu slowed down when he spotted a small flower stall on the corner. He walked past it. Kept walking. Stopped. Turned around and walked back to the flower stall.

"Would flowers be weird?" He asked himself as looked at the wide array of flowers.

The elderly florist smiled knowingly. "First date?"

Mingyu scratched the back of his neck. "Is it that obvious?"

"A little." She laughed.

He left the stall with a small bouquet wrapped in brown paper. Halfway to where his car is parked, he looked down at the bouquet and turned back around.

The florist looked at him from across the stall. "You're not returning those, are you?"

"I... wasn't?"

The florist shook her head, "Keep them, and give it to your date. It's never too much to give flowers on a first date."

"Okay." Mingyu said, turning back to walk to his car. He turned to face the florist and walked backwards, "Thanks, wish me luck!"

-

You arrived first. Of course you did. Better to wait than make someone else wait. You sat near the window, fingers wrapped around a glass of water you hadn't touched, rehearsing all the ways this evening could go wrong.

-

Mingyu took a deep breath before entering the restaurant that Seungkwan ever-so-kindly booked for the two of you. Mingyu looked around and spotted you before you spotted him. Well, he's never seen you before, but his gut was telling him that it was you.

He approached the table with a small smile on his face while smoothing out imaginary wrinkles on his shirt. "Y/N?"

You looked up and nodded. "Mingyu?"

"Hi." Mingyu smiled.

"Hi."

A beat. Then, he awkwardly held up the bouquet he'd been hiding behind his back. "I, uh... these are for you."

You blinked.

"For me?"

"Unless Seungkwan set me up with someone else, then this could get awkward."

A laugh escaped you before you could stop it. "No, I'm definitely Y/N."

"Good," he sighed dramatically before taking a seat in front of you. "That would've been embarrassing."

You accepted the flowers carefully, fingertips against the brown paper wrapped around the stems.

"They're beautiful."

"I'm glad you think so." He said, his shoulders visibly relaxing. His eyes sparkled and you almost forgot what it felt like to be on a first date. For the first time in months, you stopped wondering how long it would take for someone to leave.

-

Dinner was... easy. Much easier than you expected. Mingyu talked enough to fill the silence but never so much that you couldn't join in. He asked questions, actually listened to your answers, and somehow turned even the most ordinary stories into something worth laughing over.

By the time the waiter cleared your plates, you realized you hadn't checked the time once.

Seungkwan wasn't lying," Mingyu admitted, leaning back on his chair.

You tilted your head in wonder.

"He said you laugh with your whole face."

"...He said that?"

"Mhm."

You looked away, smiling despite yourself. "I'll have to yell at him later."

"He'll probably thank you."

The evening stretched naturally into a walk. The city had quieted by then, leaving only the occasional passing car and the glow of streetlights overhead. Mingyu matched your pace without thinking.

"So..." he glanced over. "How bad do I rank on the blind date scale?"

You pretended to consider it. "Hm."

He gasped. "The hesitation already tells me everything."

"I was going to say you're somewhere in the top two."

"...Out of?"

"Two."

He laughed so loudly that a couple walking past turned to look. Worth it.

A cool breeze drifted between the buildings. Without thinking, you rubbed your hands together. Mingyu noticed immediately. "Here."

Before you could protest, he slipped his jacket over your shoulders.

"Keep it." He smiled while he adjusted his jacket on you. Your eyes widened in shock, "What?"

He gave you a small smirk, "I'll get it the next time I see you."

A memory surfaced before you could stop it.

"I'm freezing." You shivered. Your teeth chattering so hard, you were scared that it would fall off.

Jeonghan glanced at you briefly before stuffing his hands deepers into his own pockets. "You should've brought a jacket. You didn't even wear gloves, Y/N. You knew it'd be cold outside tonight."

The memory disappeared as quickly as it came. You looked down at Mingyu's jacket around your shoulders.

"...Thank you."

"No problem." He smiled.

By the time your apartment building came into view, neither of you seemed particularly eager for the night to end.

"Thanks for driving me home," you said.

"I was going this way anyway."

You raised an eyebrow. "Weren't you parked in the opposite direction?"

"I didn't know you paid close attention to me, Y/N." Mingyu teased.

You laughed.

"There it is again."

"What?"

"That laugh."

Heat crept up your neck. "Oh."

"I like it."

For a second, you forgot how to respond. Then your phone buzzed in your pocket, pulling you back to reality. You glanced at the dark screen before looking up again.

"...I should head inside."

"Right."

He took a good look at you and smiled. "Goodnight, Y/N. It was a pleasure being your date tonight."

"Likewise. Goodnight, Mingyu." You got out of his car, and watched him turn the corner before unlocking your apartment.

Your flowers found a home in the only vase you owned. Mingyu's jacket still carried a faint trace of his cologne. You caught yourself smiling. Then, another uninvited memory.

It was all over the internet. 'Just because' flowers are now making rounds on social media. You weren't fond of flowers yourself, but seeing all those people receiving flowers made you happy for them. You wondered if Jeonghan would buy you 'just because' flowers. After all, you've been together for so long. Surely, he'd thought of that, right?

"Hannie?"

"Hm?"

"Would you ever buy me flowers?" You asked.

He looked at you with knitted brows, "What's the occasion?"

"Nothing." You shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. "It's just a question. Would you ever buy me flowers even if there's no occasion?"

Maybe it was your fault for being hopeful because your heart sank when he laughed at your face.

"Baby, they're going to die in a week or less. It's not practical." Jeonghan chuckled, shaking his head.

"But Seungkwan buys me flowers sometimes. He even bought me a small bouquet for Valentine's Day." You said.

"Then go date Seungkwan." Jeonghan said. His tone was light, but you knew it was off. You stared into each other's eyes and you knew it was time to drop the subject. You gave him a tight-lipped smile, "You're right. It'll just die. Waste of money, am I right?"

Jeonghan's eyes lit up. "See? I knew you'd understand. You're so smart, baby. Anyway, what's for dinner?"

You looked up at the bouquet sitting on your kitchen counter. Maybe the flowers would die less than a week, but they were beautiful and goddammit, you deserved it, anyway.

Your phone buzzed.

[Mingyu]: Hi!

You smiled.

[Y/N]: Hi

Three dots appeared almost immediately. Disappeared. Appeared again. Finally—

[Mingyu]: I'll just shoot my shot here 😅 Can I see you again?

You stared at the message longer than you'd like to admit. Your fingers hovered above the keyboard. Maybe this was the part where you should slow down. Maybe this was how people got hurt.

But then... you thought about the way he'd looked at you across the dinner table. The flowers. The jacket resting over your hair. The way he'd never once made you feel like you had to earn his attention.

Your thumbs moved before fear consumed you.

[Prettiest Girl]: I'd like that, actually :)) [Mingyu]: 🥰♥️

You couldn't help but smile. Maybe, just maybe, this could be something new.

STICKY SWEET LIKE HONEY

Somewhere between coffee dates that stretched well past sunset, late-night drives with nowhere in particular to go, and Mingyu insisting on driving you to your apartment every single time, the two of you had quietly become inseparable.

One month became two. Two became three.

Neither of you could remember whose idea it was to stop calling them dates and simply start calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Your first outing as an official couple came sooner than you expected.

"Just a few friends," Mingyu assured you while driving to the restaurant. "Nothing scary."

You chuckled nervously, "You say that now."

He laughed as he parked his car. He removed his seatbelt and fully turned to you, "I promise they're nice."

As soon as the two of you entered the restaurant, five heads turned toward your direction. Your eyes widened. You immediately leaned over to whisper to Mingyu. "You never told me your friends were all models."

"Hm?" Mingyu looked at them before looking back at you. "They're not, hon."

"Gyu, they're literally glowing!"

He let out a laugh before leading you over to the table. "Y/N, this is everyone." He gently rested a hand against your lower back. "Everyone, meet Y/N. My prettiest girlfriend ever."

A chorus of greetings followed.

"Hi!"

"It's nice to finally meet you."

"We've heard SO MUCH about you."

You smiled nervously before bowing your head slightly. "It's nice to meet all of you, too."

Then you leaned toward Mingyu again.

"Mingyu-yah," you whispered, "if I'd known your friends looked like this, I would've dressed up better."

The entire table erupted into laughter as you both sat down. Mingyu frowned, "Why?"

"Because they're all ridiculously attractive."

He blinked before looking around the table. "...Them?"

"Yes," you nodded. "them."

"Nah." He waved his hand dismissively. "They're just normal guys with normal jobs."

You looked at him. Then at them. Then back at him. There's no way these people had normal jobs. "You're telling me none of you are CEOs? Models? Nepo babies?"

"Absolutely not," Jaehyun laughed. "We hate nepo babies."

Mingyu nodded in agreement and let out a small "true" before moving his seat closer to yours and putting his arm around your shoulder.

Seokmin pointed at himself. "I'm Seokmin, an elementary school music teacher."

Your jaw dropped, and you shook your head. "No, you're not."

"I am." Seokmin laughed. "I spend my weekdays convincing eight-year-olds that the recorder is a real instrument."

Minghao raised his hand next. "I'm Minghao, and I own a pottery studio."

"Oh? You make bowls and stuff?" You asked, causing Mingyu to chuckle next to you.

"I make aesthetically pleasing bowls and stuff." Minghao corrected. He took a sip of his tea before smiling, "But thank you for assuming I'm a model. I'll take that as a compliment."

"Jungkook. I'm a physical therapist," Jungkook said, taking a bite of the appetizer.

"Seriously?"

"I help people recover from injuries." Jungkook nodded.

You looked at Mingyu, and he nodded. You looked back at Jungkook and gazed at his muscles before looking at his face, "I thought you lifted buildings for a living."

Jungkook chuckled, "I only lift patients who have trouble walking."

Your gaze landed on a quiet man, "Please tell me you at least work in fashion."

He smiled and shook his head. "I'm Eunwoo, and I'm actually a librarian."

Your eyes widened in shock, "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope." Eunwoo shook his head. "I spend most of my day reminding people to whisper."

"I'm Jaehyun, and I work in finance." Jaehyung grinned.

"You... willingly stare at spreadsheets?"

"Unfortunately." Jaehyun chuckled. "I like it, though. Besides, I handle these guys' finances. I can do yours too, if you want. Totally free. These guys just buy me samgyeopsal, or they treat me to a buffet every six months."

"Yah, she doesn't need it." Mingyu pouted. "She has me. Besides, we'll be having a joint account when we get married."

The table fell silent. You slowly turned to look at him.

"What?" Mingyu blinked innocently.

Jungkook looked at him over the rim of his glass. "It's only been three months."

"So?" Mingyu frowned. Minghao sighed into his tea, choosing not to say anything. After all, he meditated earlier that day.

Seokmin sighed. "Ignore him. He's always been like this. Once he likes someone he's all in."

"No, I don't!" Mingyu defended.

"You do," Jaehyun nodded. "It's actually kind of impressive."

You laughed as Mingyu reached for your hand.

"Anyway," he smiled sheepishly, "I'll handle everything. Don't want your pretty mind to be tired."

Seokmin lightly nudged Jaehyun. "Tell her."

Jaehyun sighed dramatically. "My parents couldn't afford college, so I studied hard to get a full-ride scholarship."

"Wow!" You nodded, impressed. "You must be pretty athletic, too, huh?"

Mingyu laughed, "Honey, he's not athletic enough to get through at least one sport. Not even table tennis."

"It's true," Jungkook nodded in agreement, cheeks full of food. "He's terrible at sports."

"I was dirt poor before I became a teacher," Seokmin said with a big grin. "Worked my ass off and everything."

"Same," Minghao nodded. "We all worked our asses off to get where we are."

"Amen." Mingyu raised his glass before drinking. "There are times when I'd hate my fucking job, though. Being an architect is a pain in the ass, but then I realized that this is literally what I prayed for, so I'd cut myself some slack."

You looked around the table once more as Mingyu fixed your hair for you. "So... no trust funds?"

Five heads shook.

"No secret billionaire parents?"

"I wish," Seokmin said.

"No hidden royal family?"

"Unfortunately." Eunwoo sighed.

You laughed. "I seriously can't believe any of you."

"Neither can we," Jungkook muttered, grabbing a piece of kimchi.

Everyone started eating, then another question popped into your head. "How did all of you become friends? I mean, I doubt you were co-workers, given that your line of work is completely different."

Silence. Everyone looked at each other.

"...College?" Jaehyun answered uncertainly.

Minghao nodded, "Technically."

"I honestly don't remember," Jungkook admitted.

"I do!" Seokmin announced proudly. Everyone turned to look at him. "I collected them... like Pokémon."

Jaehyun nodded. "You did."

Without warning, Seokmin shot up from his seat. He pointed dramatically toward absolutely nothing. "GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!"

He even threw in a fist pump for good measure. The entire restaurant fell silent. A little kid from another table gasped excitedly, while their mother sighed.

Minghao closed his eyes. "I don't know him."

"You've known me for almost ten years." Seokmin laughed as he sat down again.

"I've tolerated you for almost ten years." Minghao corrected.

Jungkook rubbed his temples. Eunwoo offered an apologetic smile to the surrounding tables. You looked at Mingyu, "Is he always like this?"

Mingyu smiled as he reached under the table to intertwine his fingers with yours. "This is actually one of his calmer days."

"You're joking, right?"

"I wish I were, baby."

You couldn't help but laugh. And just like that, the nerves you'd carried into the restaurant quietly disappeared. As all of you fell into casual conversation, a memory resurfaced again. As much as you want to shake it off, it started playing in your head.

The first time you'd met Jeonghan's friends. Joshua and Seungcheol had welcomed you politely enough.

"It's nice to meet you."

"You too."

For a moment, you'd thought the night would go well. Then the conversation shifted. University stories, military enlistment, old classmates. Inside jokes that had everyone at the table laughing.

You smiled whenever everyone else did, hoping it looked natural. Every now and then, Joshua would glance your way with an apologetic smile, almost as if he realized you'd been quiet for a while.

Seungcheol tried once. "So, Y/N, what do you—"

Before you could answer, Jeonghan interrupted with a story of his own. The conversation drifted away again. You spent the rest of dinner pushing your food around your plate, wondering if anyone had noticed you'd barely spoken at all. By the time you got home, you couldn't remember if Joshua and Seungcheol knew anything about you other than your name.

"Y/N, you're coming next week, right?" Jaehyun asked.

"Sorry, what's next week?" You asked, turning to Mingyu. He smiled and held your hand, "We do this every week, baby. It's okay if you don't want to go, but just know that the invitation is always open."

"You're so whipped." Jungkook teased, handing his card to pay the bill.

Seeing this, you quickly grabbed your wallet, but Mingyu stopped you. "Don't. Jungkook is paying this week. Next week is on Seokmin." He turned to Jungkook and said, "Also, I don't care. She's my person."

You smiled to yourself, quietly slipping your wallet back into your bag. It wasn't just the way Mingyu said things. It was how naturally they came to him.

"My prettiest girlfriend."

"She's my person."

He never hesitated; not once. Never second-guessed himself. If there was one thing you'd quickly learned after dating Kim Mingyu, it was that he loved loudly. Within an hour of making things official, his lockscreen had changed. By dinner, his profile picture followed. By the end of the night, his Instagram bio proudly read: ♥️ @yourusername.

Seungkwan kept telling you that you shouldn't compare Mingyu and Jeonghan, but you couldn't help it. They were just... different. Seungkwan would argue that they both loved differently and the way you love is just more in tune with Mingyu. He'd often tell you, "You and Hannie hyung are just way too different."

"What if we matched profile pictures?" You asked Jeonghan.

Jeonghan glanced up from his phone. "...Why?"

"I don't know." You shrugged. "It'd be cute. Besides, everyone would know that we're together."

"Y/N, I don't really see the point." Jeonghan huffed. "I mean, everyone knows we're dating. There's no need to publicize it on Instagram. I'm barely online, anyway. What matters is I love you, and you love me, right?"

Not wanting things to escalate, you gave him a small smile and decided to tease him, "Okay, Barney the Dinosaur."

Jeonghan laughed. "Wow!"

You were dropped off by Mingyu an hour ago. You were just grabbing a snack when you received a notification that Mingyu changed his profile picture. To your surprise, it was a picture of the two of you at dinner a while ago. The picture was taken by Jungkook, and it was a great candid shot.

[Prettiest GF]: Kim Mingyu [Handsome]: ♥️♥️♥️♥️ [Prettiest GF]: You're unbelievable. Can't believe your pfp is a candid photo of us 😭💀 [Handsome]: HAHAHAHA, but I'm YOUR unbelievable, though. I'll pick you up at work tomorrow, okay? Get some sleep, pretty. Good night. I love you so much ♥️

Your smile slowly faded. Then, before you could stop it, another memory surfaced.

It had only been a few months into your relationship with Jeonghan. You'd spent the entire evening convincing yourself to say it. When he walked you to your apartment, you took a deep breath.

"Jeonghan?"

"Hm?"

"I... I love you." You stuttered.

The words slipped out before you could lose your nerve. Jeonghan looked at you. Then, he smiled. A small, almost amused smile.

"You do?"

You felt your cheeks warm and nodded. "I do."

He tucked his hands into his pockets and looked down for a second. "I think," he started, searching for the right words. "it's still a little early for me to say that."

Your smile faltered for the briefest moment. "Oh."

"It's not that I don't like you." He was quick to clarify. "I just don't say things unless I'm completely sure."

You nodded. "Right."

"I don't want to tell you I love you because it feels like the right time." He reached over and gently squeezed your hand. "When I say it, I want to mean it."

You smiled. "I understand."

And you did. You really did. It just didn't stop your heart from sinking when you got home.

You stared at your phone. Your thumb hovered over the keyboard. I love you, too. The words came so easily in your head. Your fingers, however, refused to type them. Instead...

[Prettiest GF]: Good night, Gyu ♥️

HERE'S TO HOPIN'

Being loved by Kim Mingyu was easy.

He'd show up outside your office with an iced coffee before work because he'd remembered you mentioning you were tired the night before. If you forgot an umbrella, he'd somehow already have one waiting in his car. When you complained about skipping lunch, he'd quietly drop off your favorite food with a sticky note that simply read: eat ♥️

He loved loudly. Somehow, that scared you more than you'd ever admit. It wasn't because he was too much. It was because every day, he gave you another reason to believe he'd stay. And a tiny part of you kept wondering what it would feel like if one day, he didn't.

The following Friday came around quicker than expected. Like clockwork, Mingyu was waiting outside your office building. The moment he spotted you walking out, his face lit up.

"There she is." Mingyu smiled, jogging over to you.

You smiled despite yourself. "Have you been waiting long?"

"Nah." Mingyu shook his head, grabbing your bag from you.

You took a good look at him, squinted your eyes suspiciously. "You've been here for twenty minutes, haven't you?"

"Hm," Mingyu scratched the back of his neck. "maybe."

You laughed before slipping your hand into his. "You're unbelievable."

"But I'm your unbelievable." He grinned, swinging your hands as you walked, making you laugh.

Dinner with the boys felt as chaotic as ever. Seungkwan somehow invited himself this week. No one really minded. They all liked Seungkwan, anyway. He was their gossip dealer, and what's life without any gossip?

"I'd just like everyone to know," he announced proudly while taking a seat, "that this relationship exists because of me."

"Here we go," Jaehyun sighed.

"I changed two lives." Seungkwan said, pretending to cry.

"You set up one blind date, Seungkwan-ah." Jungkook corrected. "You didn't cure cancer."

Minghao took a sip of his tea. "The Nobel Peace Prize committee must've missed your email."

"I deserve a medal!" Seungkwan exclaimed, while grabbing some food to put on his plate.

"I'll buy you dinner, Kwannie," Mingyu offered.

"I want a statue." Seungkwan said, taking a bite of food.

You laughed, looked at Mingyu, and then at Seungkwan. "I'll name our first born after you."

Seungkwan gasped dramatically, giving Seokmin whiplash. Seungkwan was practically shaking in his seat. "You mean it?"

"No." You said. The table erupted into laughter. Mingyu quietly placed another piece of grilled meat onto your plate.

"You haven't eaten enough," Mingyu said quietly.

"You worry too much." You chuckled lightly. Mingyu pouted, "I know. Sorry."

You looked at him and cupped his face with your hands. "Don't apologize for caring. I appreciate that you worry about me."

His smile returned instantly.

After dinner, the two of you sat on the hood of Mingyu's car overlooking the Han River. The city lights danced across the water. Neither of you spoke. It wasn't awkward. It never was.

Mingyu was staring at the river. "Can I ask you something?"

You turned toward him, and nodded. "Of course. Ask away."

He stayed quiet for another moment. You waited patiently. He took a deep breath and looked at you. "Do I... love you more than you love me?"

Your stomach dropped. "What?"

He laughed softly. "I know how that sounded, and I'm not asking because I'm upset."

"Mingyu..."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I've just been thinking." He looked over at you. "You never say that you love me back. I mean, you smile, you hold my hand, you kiss me, you call me when you get home, you do all these things..." He smiled. "but you never say it."

Your chest tightened. You didn't know what to say, truly. He quickly shook his head. "I'm not keeping score, I promise. I just..." His smile faded. "Sometimes it feels like you're always waiting for something bad to happen."

"Gyu, I..."

"Honey, I don't know how to convince you that I'm not already halfway out the door. I feel like you're already grieving something that hasn't happened yet, like you're waiting for me to leave before I've even gone anywhere." Mingyu said sadly.

Your eyes immediately welled with tears. "No, Gyu..."

He reached for your hand instinctively. "I know you care about me."

"I do."

"I know." Mingyu gave you a small smile before he looked away. "I just... sometimes I wonder if I'm loving you too loudly."

The words shattered something inside you.

"No." Your voice cracked. "It's not you, Gyu."

He looked back. You took a shaky breath. "It's me."

He looked at you and patiently waited for you to explain your side.

"I know you're not Jeonghan."

His expression softened immediately.

"I've never compared you to him because I wanted to." You said, another tear rolled down your cheek. "I compare you because... I'm scared. So, so scared."

You laughed weakly through your tears. "I didn't think I'd survive that. I barely did. I mean, that was four years of my life."

Mingyu nodded in understanding.

"Then you came along." You smiled at him. "You loved me so easily, so openly, so fearlessly. It's all so new to me because it wasn't like that with Jeonghan."

You looked down at your intertwined hands. "Every time you tell me you love me, a tiny part of me keeps thinking, 'what if this is the last time?", and I don't want to know how you'll leave me. I don't ever want to know what you'll look like when you leave."

Your voice was barely above a whisper. "I love you a lot, Mingyu. I've been too scared to say it out loud."

For a long time, Mingyu didn't say anything. He simply looked at you. Then, he cupped your face with both hands. His thumbs brushed away your tears.

"I'll stay with you," His forehead rested against yours. "for as long as you want me to be."

You closed your eyes.

"I can't promise that we'll never fight. I can't promise I won't disappoint you. I can't promise that life won't get hard." A tiny smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "But I can promise you one thing..."

"Yeah?"

"I'm not looking for an exit."

A sob escaped your lips. You wrapped your arms around him. "I love you."

You felt him smile against your hair. "I know."

You pulled back just enough to look at him. "No, you don't."

His eyebrows lifted as you laughed through your tears. You took a deep, trembling breath, "I love you so much."

For the first time since you'd known him, Kim Mingyu was speechless. He simply pulled you into another hug. Holding you as though you had all the time in the world.

"For the record," he smiled. "I also hope I never see what you look like when you leave either." He gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

"I mean, the Lord knows I've memorized your face so well, and I'd search for it everywhere until my next life." A tiny laugh escaped him. "You're it for me, honey."

a/n: tysm for all the love you've sent my way for the hoshi installment of this series! i hope you give mingyu's installment the same love i gave while writing it xo

But today, you don't have any lemons in stock. You were given a box of tangerines instead, probably from one of the relatives, you guessed. Not that you know half of them. Perhaps it was given by the other side of your husband's family. Being married to the son of the family that owns and operates Diamonds Group—the conglomerate company—was not for the weak. You nearly had to pay half the price for being his wife.

It's not that he had been treating you badly, or that his family treated you like an outsider. If anything, half of these years living with him felt like living with a roommate. Maybe even business partners who shared the same space and lived under the same roof.

It was all dull and gloomy.

Just like that, you had wasted seven years of marriage with a man who acted as cold as stone toward you.

"I want a divorce."

You said it out of nowhere as Jeonghan hummed, skimming through his documents while leaning back in his chair at the office.

"I'm serious this time," you said with a sigh, crossing your arms as you stood in front of his desk. "I know I've been saying the same thing for the past few years, and thank you for being my unpaid therapist—but I'm really filing for divorce this time."

Jeonghan stopped skimming through the documents, his fingers hovering over the paper as he looked at you through the rim of his glasses.

"Okay..." he slowly exhaled, placing the papers down as he clasped his hands together on his desk. "So, how do you want to get divorced? By agreement or... trial? Unless Seungcheol disagrees, or you want to file a lawsuit. You'll have to go through mediation if you want that."

He stood up now, palms resting on the desk as he looked at you.

"But I doubt he'd disagree. Just go by agreement—talk with him and—"

"I wanna file a lawsuit."

Jeonghan immediately laughed at that, shoving his hands into his slacks pockets like it was the funniest joke he'd ever heard.

"Don't joke around. If you wanna win against him, you're going to lose—"

"And I want you to be my representative lawyer."

Almost instantly, his laughter died down. His lips sealed shut as he stared at you.

There was a brief moment of silence.

And judging by the look on your face, you weren't joking either.

"Are you kidding me?" Jeonghan looked as though he'd just been personally insulted. "That's like ASKING for the death penalty! Are you trying to put my career at risk?"

He was pacing around like a madman while you simply watched him tear his hair out, fiddling with your hands.

"That's why I reached out to you. You're one of the best attorneys in this building."

He stopped in his tracks, looking at you sharply like he was about to scold a child, making you flinch under his intense gaze.

"_____, I'm the legal director. One of his closest partners. Do you want me to get fired?" he groaned, pacing again. "Remember Attorney Kim who sought a divorce from his wife? Yeah, that divorce didn't end well. His career basically went downhill afterward. Even his own firm isn't doing well now, from what I heard."

"You mean Mrs. Choi Mina, the CEO of the department store?" your brows lifted in curiosity. You knew her; she was one of Seungcheol's relatives—the one you saw at the memorial ceremony.

Jeonghan snapped his fingers. "Yes. Exactly. He should've seen that coming. He had everything and still chose to leave in the end."

You nearly scoffed at that. “What would you know about marriage? Maybe the relationship was bad, probably why he's leaving.”

He ignored you and continued. “My whole point is, why would you go to such trouble for this? Oh my god, thinking about it makes me want to—”

“It was a loveless marriage,” you stated. “I want to sue him because of that, and also for making me waste a whole seven years of my life on this.”

The man stopped in his tracks, his crash-out temporarily postponed as he looked at you. For a moment, he just stared.

“You know that's not a proper reason to sue him.”

“Then what about suing him for breaking a promise?” you said casually with a shrug. “You know, is that reasonable enough? Marriage vows and contracts were made.”

“I mean...” He sighed, rubbing his temple. “It does count as breaching a promise between spouses. Listen, why not just talk to him, discuss whatever it is, make a mutual agreement—and you're free.”

“...It's not that easy.”

“Just try. Be on the same wavelength as him,” he punctuated with a knock on his desk. “And if you're lucky, he'll agree to a mutual agreement, you'll be on the same page, and that's the end of it.”

You made a face, letting out a disbelieving scoff.

“Same page? We're not even sleeping in the same bedroom, Jeonghan! And that's the problem.”

Now it was your turn to pace around like a madwoman.

“Oh my god, it seems like you don't understand me. I wanted to sue him because of that. I spent years trying to be a good wife to him, and I even quit my job as a news anchor because of him!”

You finally let out an exasperated breath as Jeonghan just stared at you. It looked like he was staring because he thought you were being weird now.

But you were far from finished.

“I didn't just quit, I also dedicated my whole life trying to please him, but he never ever looked my way!” you said, flailing your arms. “Then when I told him I wanted to create my own beauty brand, he did support it—but only by giving me the capital and never supporting me verbally. I guess his way of showing his so-called love is throwing money at me.”

You scoffed at that.

“And not just that, he never eats dinner. When I tried to cook his favourite dish, he came back the next day. Does that man even eat?” You felt ridiculous for even caring in the first place.

Jeonghan just let you ramble as you continued.

“What kind of workaholic insanity is that? In fact, I never see him at home. It's like he's sleeping in his office.”

After a while, he spoke slowly. “So...you want to sue him for emotional damage and neglect?”

You thought for a moment before nodding. “Yeah. Maybe that's what I'm thinking.”

Then suddenly, your eyes widened as you snapped your fingers. “Oh! We can use a third party interference claim. I want to charge him with that too.”

The man rolled his eyes, dragging a hand down his face. “You need actual evidence for that. Accusing someone without proof is not it.”

“Then find one.”

The way you said it so simply nearly drove Jeonghan insane.

“I'm not doing that. And who's we?”

“You're a former Supreme Prosecutor. You can fabricate anything, right?”

“Oh my god, are you trying to get me fired by my boss???”

He looked genuinely bewildered now.

Your afternoon was wasted on trauma-dumping in Jeonghan's office. You were supposed to be at your father's house, but this whole burdening issue needed to come to an end.

The moment you were about to head downstairs, you ran into Seungcheol—your husband, as stated on paper.

The elevator opened, revealing him with his secretary, Mingyu, beside him. His secretary stepped out, allowing Seungcheol to enter the elevator alone with you.

“Are you not going to come in?”

That deep voice almost made the hair on your arms stand up. Even the staff around him probably felt the same.

His secretary only smiled and gestured politely. “It's alright, sir. You go ahead first. I'll take the next one.”

With that, the elevator doors closed as Seungcheol pressed the button. The silence was torturous. Dreadful enough to leave you suffocating in the same space as him.

God, even his cologne invaded your nostrils, almost making you gag at how overwhelming it was. Not just you either—the entire building knew it.

You once heard one of the front desk staff exaggerate that they always knew when he arrived because his signature scent lingered like a nightmare. You could practically imagine employees scrambling into panic the moment they realized their boss was on the way.

“Why are you here all of a sudden?”

His voice made you jump like a deer caught in headlights. You hadn't done anything wrong, so why did you feel like you had committed a crime?

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you answered softly.

“I was meeting with Jeonghan.”

“Is it about the staff member who broke one of your prototypes and tried to leak the plans to a third party?”

He didn't even look at you.

Great.

“You can ask Chan to handle that lawsuit.”

You wanted to hit him. Your fist even lifted slightly, tempted to smack the back of his head. Of course, he didn't notice your childish behaviour.

“No. It's not about that.”

You cleared your throat, trying to follow Jeonghan's advice.

“S-so... will you be back home today?”

You mentally cursed yourself for stuttering.

Why were you nervous? You're the one who wanted a divorce after all.

He glanced down at his wristwatch, a quiet sigh escaping his lips.

“No. I'll probably be late. As usual, don't wait for me.”

The way he said it so casually, like it was a line he'd repeated over and over again, never failed to make your heart sink.

And somehow, it still did.

Even though you were supposed to be numb to it by now.

“It's important,” you insisted.

“I don't know how important it is. If you want to discuss it, we can do it another time.”

He still wasn't looking at you.

“But it is urgent,” you pressed. “When am I finally supposed to see you?”

“You could've told Mingyu about it, and I could fit you into my schedule.”

The words sounded so formal. So business-like.

You hated it.

You wanted an immediate answer, not to ask for an appointment with your own husband.

“I want a divorce.”

There.

You finally said it.

Seungcheol faltered ever so slightly.

Then, almost deliberately, he turned to look at you.

The elevator doors opened. You stepped out, turning back to face him.

“Let's discuss it more at home.”

That word—home—felt both foreign and familiar.

You couldn't even call that place a home anymore if there was no warmth left in it.

Then the elevator doors closed again.

For the first time, Seungcheol didn't know how to feel. So consumed by work, he had failed to notice that something like this would come much sooner than he expected.

Seungcheol doesn't know how many hours of his life he had dedicated to work in a single day. The work that he swore himself to the day he turned eighteen.

And that same work had also caused his marriage to fail.

Another day had passed yet again. For some reason, the world around him had slowly faded. The sounds in the background had become so distant that he didn't hear the voice calling out to him.

“Director Choi?”

The voice echoed, catching his attention as he blinked. Momentarily, he stared at the boardroom table as everyone waited for his response.

“Right,” he exhaled, straightening in his seat. “Could you repeat that?”

One of the staff members continued, repeating the report regarding last year's balance sheet. Seungcheol's body was physically there, he was anything but focused on what was happening around him.

Just as he blinked, his eyes widened.

The boardroom was gone.

His gaze adjusted to the ceiling of his penthouse instead, then to the papers spread out in front of him.

The divorce agreement. 

His eyes landed on you. You looked back at him, still listing out the details of the property division.

“Did you even hear what I'm saying?”

He didn't press any further. Instead, he slid the paper toward himself and signed it without hesitation. “I am. Just list out what you need, and I'll compensate for it.”

He finished signing before sliding the papers back to you with ease. There wasn't a hint of a smile or any emotion behind his expression.

Like he had already adapted to whatever this was. You took a moment to stare at him, disliking how easy all of this seemed for him. Taking the papers from him with deliberate movements.

His eyes darted up to you as he finally stood. You watched the broadness of his shoulders as he walked away.

Just as he stopped in his tracks, he turned back. “You can take the villa in Jeju Island. It was a wedding gift after all.”

You almost bristled at that and immediately stood up. “I don't need that. I have my own property too.”

Your husband actually looked at you this time, hands buried in his slacks pockets.

“I told you to just take it. Don't be so stubborn about it. I don't have a reason to go there anyway. You can use it for your tangerine picking or whatever, since you've been replacing lemons in my bottle.”

Then he walked upstairs, leaving you frustrated.

Even in the middle of the divorce process, he still treated you like the immature one.

When Seungcheol finally entered his room, he sat on the edge of the bed and closed his eyes for a moment.

A sudden buzzing sensation spread through his head. His brows furrowed, exhaling slowly before glancing at the calendar beside him.

A reminder.

Your anniversary this weekend. The reminder itself felt like it was mocking him. You two were about to separate anyway. Why was he still dwelling on things like this?

The last time he celebrated it, it had been another expensive dinner with gifts and flowers. The same routine every year, until the sixth anniversary.

As the years passed, your smile only seemed to grow more distant whenever he gave them to you. Perhaps you were tired of the same meaningless gifts. Still, he thought it was better than doing nothing. Forgetting would've been worse.

The point was, he had a feeling something was wrong. His body felt exhausted more than usual. At first, he assumed it was because he had been working too much.

But this wasn't a normal headache.

Sometimes he would zone out, and when he opened his eyes again, he would be somewhere else entirely.

He could swear he had been sitting in one place, yet somehow he would find himself in a completely different location.

It was probably stress. At least, that's what he kept telling himself.

Even Mingyu had pointed out how distracted he had become during meetings and conversations. His secretary advised him to take a break, but Seungcheol insisted on finishing his deadlines instead. He was fully aware that he pushed himself harder than anyone else.

“What are you doing standing there?”

The voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Blinking, he turned toward you, momentarily dumbfounded.

You stared back at him with equal confusion. “You've been standing there for more than five minutes. Hello?”

You waved a hand in front of his face.

He didn't answer immediately. Instead, he glanced down at the coffee mug in his hand and took a sip.

“Then why are you standing so close to me?”

Letting out a huff, you grabbed a tangerine from the fruit basket behind him while maintaining eye contact.

“Oh, you know. Picking up my tangerine instead of squeezing lemons into someone's drink.”

He simply let you be, watching as you headed upstairs, probably to your room.

His eyes drifted toward the clock hanging on the wall.

Four o'clock in the afternoon.

His expression faltered. Then he checked the date. Today was your anniversary.

That couldn't be right.

As far as he remembered, he had only been discussing the property division with you this morning.

He checked again. Then again. Opening his laptop to verify the date.

Today was the seventeenth of May.

And if his memory served him correctly, that divorce discussion had happened on Friday.

A sudden wave of dizziness hit him. He exhaled quietly, not realizing sweat had begun forming on his forehead.

Maybe Mingyu was right. Maybe he was simply exhausted from overworking himself. He convinced himself it was just an occasional migraine, yet the pattern kept repeating.

His concentration would disappear and hours would vanish. Sometimes entire chunks of time felt blurred. He thought it might finally be time to get a proper medical checkup.

Your sleep was suddenly disturbed by scratching noises coming from your bedroom door. Reluctantly, you woke up, half-asleep as you dragged your feet across the floor. Opening the door, you were greeted by Kkuma, the fluffy furball barking up at you before she immediately turned around and walked away, as if telling you to follow her.

“Kkuma... it's not even breakfast time. Why are you bothering me in the middle of the night?” you groaned sleepily, following behind her with lazy steps.

It was raining heavily outside.

The dim lights illuminated the dark penthouse as you turned on the kitchen light.

Just as you were about to enter, you shrieked—a human figure stood there with his back facing you. The lightning flashed outside, accompanied by an ominous soundtrack playing in your head.

It's just Seungcheol.

After calming yourself down, you cautiously peeked beside your husband, waving a hand in front of his face, trying to test the waters first.

Was he sleepwalking?

Your thoughts were interrupted by Kkuma's relentless barking beside you.

You looked down at the creature and sighed. “Stop that.”

You frowned at the dog before looking back at him. Only then did you notice that his eyes had been closed the entire time.

Your gaze lingered on the scattered tangerines across the counter. A little skeptical about why the kitchen was such a mess.

Brushing the thought aside, you gently shook him.

“Seungcheol?”

After a while, his eyes slowly opened.

You were taken aback by how quickly he adjusted. Without saying a word, he simply turned around and walked upstairs as if nothing had happened.

The only sounds left behind were the heavy rain pouring outside and Kkuma's soft barking and whimpering as she pawed at your legs.

You didn't ask him about that night the next day. Instead, you carefully observed him while he got ready for work. When he noticed your suspicious gaze from behind the rim of your mug, he called you out while buttoning his cuffs.

“What are you staring at for? Did you put something in my briefcase again?”

Blinking, you lowered your mug.

“No...”

There was a brief pause. He didn't even look like he remembered sleepwalking.

“...That got me thinking. Did something unusual happen last night?”

Seungcheol looked at you as though you were the one acting strange. “I'm not sure what you're implying. What else do you think happened besides a relentless shareholder meeting calling for me?”

You take that back. He's infuriating as usual, always trying to stir up problems when all you wanted was a proper answer.

“Never mind. I hope you accidentally step on a tangerine and slip.”

Seungcheol paused midway through turning around, looking back at you with a raised brow.

“Say that again.”

You immediately turned away, picking up Kkuma as you walked back toward the kitchen.

“Oh dear, it's time for your treat, isn't it, baby?” You cooed at her dramatically, sending one last petty glare in his direction.

—

“I'm glad that you sought help from us, however...” he sighed, clasping his hands together on his desk as he looked at you. “...I don't think you've come to the right person or department for this issue.”

“You're a doctor too, soooo—”

At this point, it was almost ridiculous how often you saw Dr. Jeon compared to your own husband.

Wonwoo had been one of your friends back in university. It was funny how your friendship with him had lasted longer than your marriage.

“I told you last time.” He looked one step away from crashing out.

You could vividly remember Jeonghan reacting the same way the other day.

“If you want a counselling session, go to Joshua. And for the record? This is my only lunch break. Did you have to come at the worst possible time?”

You stared at his lonely meal consisting of a cream cheese bagel and a box of apple juice.

“But... it's only a cream cheese bagel and ham.”

“It's depressing, I know.”

“Anyway, as I was saying—how do I acquire medical records for emotional damage?”

You brushed his complaint away with a dismissive wave.

After a long pause, an exaggerated sigh escaped Wonwoo as he stared at you, brows furrowed.

“I'm an OB-GYN, not a psychiatrist, _____. That alone proves you never cared about my field of expertise, and honestly, it's very insulting.”

“...So, how?”

The audacity of you to ask again. Wonwoo let out a loooong exhale before tossing the empty juice box into the nearby bin.

“I assume you need it for a reason?”

He spun slightly in his chair and began typing on his computer. “What is it? To prove an absence from work? For HR or—”

“It's for a divorce settlement.”

You finally cut him off, and your friend abruptly froze.

His fingers hovered over the keyboard as his eyes darted toward you skeptically.

“Divorce? You're getting... a divorce?”

He repeated it as if he needed to hear it twice.

You nodded. The confirmation alone was enough to make him fall silent.

Leaning back in his chair, he seemed unsure how to respond.

“Sorry to hear that. But just so we're clear, if you're planning to use that in court, it might take a while for a psychiatrist to provide a formal assessment. Unless you're in critical condition.”

“I am in critical condition, though.”

His eyes narrowed, then he sighed again.

“My point is, if you're planning to use that against your husband, I don't think it'll work. After being diagnosed by a psychiatrist and attending therapy sessions, you still need to go through the proper process to prove you've received legitimate medical attention.”

His tone had become much more serious now. And he wasn't even finished.

“My real question is, why do you want to sue Choi Seungcheol? He can give you money—probably double my salary. I bet this advice came from a lawyer.”

Your eyes immediately brightened.

“Oh? How did you know that?”

“Obviously. It's not uncommon for doctors to know things like this.”

He continued typing without taking his eyes off the monitor.

“Whoever is handling your divorce case must be completely out of his mind if he's agreed to represent you.”

“It's Jeonghan.”

That finally made him stop.

Looking at you, he blinked.

“You're joking.”

Judging by your face, you clearly weren't.

A dry chuckle escaped him as he dragged a hand down his face.

“I am not getting involved in this. If your soon-to-be ex-husband finds out, he'll have my head too.”

“You don't even work for him.”

You made a face at the way he was talking.

“Easy for you to say.”

The keyboard clicks were the only sound filling the room.

“He's part of a conglomerate family. You're from a wealthy family. And me? I'm just some ordinary guy. One wrong step and I'll be seeing the chairman of this hospital, who's probably connected to the Chois anyway.”

You rolled your eyes at his dramatic narrative.

“Come on. My family isn't that wealthy. We're comfortable.”

Wonwoo actually looked at you this time.

After all these years of being your friend, he knew one thing for certain: Being friends with you was like walking on thin ice. He wasn't sure whether you were genuinely being modest or simply humble-bragging.

“Oh, really? Then give me fifty dollars.”

Frowning at him, you leaned forward. “This is serious, Wonwoo. Me and Seungcheol are getting a divorce, and it's been seven years—not seven months.”

You let out a breath.

“Anyone would be upset knowing they spent years of their life loving someone who never really cared about them... only to end up with nothing.”

Not that you never thought it would become this messy.

People always said that just because you started a relationship in your twenties didn't mean it would remain the same in your thirties. Nevertheless, your situation with Seungcheol was different. 

It all started with an arranged marriage between both families. You even broke up with your ex-boyfriend because of it. At some point, as the early stages of your marriage began, you figured that eventually, you would come to love him.

He wasn't exactly a bad husband.

In life, to find a good man, there are at least three criteria that should be met in order to have a happy marriage.

One: generosity.

Cheapness runs in one's blood, and children tend to inherit what they see from their parents. They grow up watching how their parents earn money by waking up early in the morning and coming home late at night. They also learn from how their parents spend that money.

If a man complains about a twenty-cent charge on his credit card despite earning four hundred thousand a month, or if another man only has fifty dollars to his name yet willingly spends his last forty on your meal, the difference isn't about how much money they have.

It's generosity that changes everything. And Seungcheol was never stingy with you.

He gave you practically everything.

When you told him you wanted to open your own beauty clinic after resigning from your job, he didn't make a grand speech about supporting you. He didn't loudly encourage you or shower you with praise.

He simply gave you the capital and trusted you to do whatever you wanted with it.

Sometimes it felt absurd, as though he believed money could solve everything. Yet he never used it to control you either, even when it would've been easier for him to spoil you rotten and keep you dependent on him. Nevertheless, generosity was still one of the most important qualities a man could have.

Two: how they handle stress and challenges.

If a man struggles with anger management, he'll explode the moment his car breaks down, a tire goes flat, or something simply doesn't go his way. That anger eventually reaches the people around him. Whereas some men face life's challenges calmly and immediately focus on finding a solution.

A real man wouldn't vent his frustrations onto you or make you feel responsible for his distress. He would continue treating you with the same patience and gentleness. 

And despite Seungcheol's reputation as a cold and distant man, he rarely expressed irritation. Let alone anger.

Okay, maybe you were exaggerating a little.

But he was nowhere near an angry person. You annoyed him all the time, yet he never responded with the kind of annoyance a man would show toward someone desperately trying to get his attention.

It was more like he simply accepted that you were... childish.

Not playful. Just childish.

You doubted he even saw you as a woman trying to win his affection. More like a cat scratching places it wasn't supposed to.

Three: a man who knows how to take care of you.

At first, you thought this was simply your standard. A woman should never have to teach a man how to be patient, or how to care for her.

Seungcheol wasn't expressive with words, but he was observant.He could immediately tell when something was wrong with you. Like that time you got sick while he was buried in work.

He ended up adopting a ragdoll kitten—Soya. That was her name. All because he heard ragdolls were affectionate and would make good companions for both you and Kkuma.

And honestly?

It took less than a second for you to forgive him for things like that. It's not like he never did anything right. Even when his presence wasn't there, he always—always—made sure you were taken care of. Whether it came from love or obligation, you simply assumed he was fulfilling his responsibilities as a spouse.

Ugh.

It was almost frustrating. Because you couldn't even pinpoint what was actually missing.

Aside from the fact that your love never seemed to reach him. Sure, he wasn't the type to openly express himself.

A lot of men were like that. Yet you didn't want to generalize him just because he happened to fall into that category.

“Have you considered marriage counselling?”

You blinked before shaking your head.

“Why would we do that? Even if we did, he barely makes time for anything, and I don't think it would've worked anyway.”

Wonwoo let out a small sigh, his eyes still fixed on the monitor as he typed away.

“That's not even a question. I'm suggesting that you should attend one.”

“And why would that be?”

“Because it sounds like you still want to save your marriage.”

This time, he looked up at you. Really looked at you.

For a moment, you hesitated. Not because his words struck particularly deep. But because they forced you to question whether you had made the right decision. Besides, you no longer wanted to dwell on a one-sided love.

You were tired of doing this to yourself.

Before you could respond, your phone rang inside your handbag. You quickly rummaged through it and answered the call.

“Oh, yes, Secretary Kim.”

You pressed the phone to your ear. Then your expression changed.

“Seungcheol fainted? Uh—I'll be right there.”

Wonwoo looked up at your sudden reaction, confusion written all over his face.

“I need to go first. We'll talk again, Wonwoo.”

You hurriedly grabbed your things and rushed out of the room.

Wonwoo watched you leave. He didn't know everything about your marriage.

And it wasn't his place to assume.

However, your reaction certainly didn't look like someone eager to end a seven-year relationship. Whatever was happening between you and your husband, he could tell it wasn't as simple as a marriage that had merely run its course.

—

Every pattern in your life repeats until you learn the lesson. The moment you choose differently, the loop ends and growth begins.

Bad habits die hard. In the middle of a divorce settlement, most people wouldn't care much about how their spouse was doing.

But you? The moment Mingyu told you that your husband had fainted, you came running without a second thought.

What could possibly go wrong this time?

From what you knew, Seungcheol had always been healthy—or at least physically healthy from what you'd seen over the years. You were well aware that he was a workaholic, even before reaching the peak of his career.

You stared at his figure lying on the office sofa. Mingyu stood nearby alongside Jeonghan, looking one step away from passing out, judging by how hard he was biting his nails.

When the doctor finally finished examining him, he stood up and turned toward the three of you. His gaze landed on you, presumably assuming you were family.

“He's alright. His pulse is perfectly normal.”

The relief in Mingyu's sigh was almost immediate.

“It appears to be exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. May I ask if he's been taking any medication recently? Perhaps for migraines?”

You hesitated. Then the memory of him sleepwalking flashed through your mind.

Instead of answering, you looked toward Mingyu as if searching for confirmation that something similar had happened before. The man blinked before letting out an audible, “Ah.”

“I saw some medication on his desk, so I assumed he'd been taking it.” He glanced toward Seungcheol before continuing. “Mr. Choi mentioned that he's been experiencing headaches more frequently than usual.”

The doctor nodded, and the discussion continued for a few more minutes. Eventually, after the doctor left, your gaze returned to Seungcheol's unconscious figure. You crouched beside him, studying his sleeping features.

“How did this happen?”

You looked up at Jeonghan and Mingyu.

Jeonghan let out a sigh, dragging a hand down his face. “He nearly collapsed in the doorway when the meeting started. Good thing I caught him before he completely hit the floor.”

“Had to cancel the meeting too,” Mingyu added. “If the shareholders had been here today, it would've caused a huge commotion.”

You listened quietly, nodding as your attention drifted back to your husband. For a moment, you deliberately pressed your ear against his chest.

Mingyu immediately made a noise while Jeonghan jabbed an elbow into his stomach.

“His heart is beating normally, alright.” You pulled away and stood up.

“Of course he is. The doctor literally just said that.”Jeonghan interjected. “I mean—the rich are very strict about their blood pressure. Seungcheol's always careful with his sodium intake—”

You and Mingyu stared at him.

He let out an awkward chuckle in between. “What I'm saying is,” Jeonghan corrected himself with a gesture, “he's a healthy man. He's just drowning in stress. It's obvious things haven't exactly been organized lately.”

Mingyu nodded in agreement.

“Mr. Yoon's right. Director Choi has been rather quiet lately. Maybe crankier than usual? I'm not entirely sure, but he's been working until midnight almost every day. Even the employees don't stay overtime that long.”

You let out a quiet sigh. It was hard not to think about everything currently weighing on him. The company, the workload—and now the divorce. The thought alone gnawed at you.

What if this had been the final straw? What if your divorce was part of the reason?

Turning toward Jeonghan, you spoke carefully. “...Do you think it was because of that?”

“Because of what?”

Jeonghan looked genuinely confused.

“You know. The divorce.”

“A divorce?!”

Mingyu nearly jumped out of his skin. His eyes darted between you and Jeonghan.

“Ma'am, what do you mean by that? And hyung—why am I only hearing about this now?”

Jeonghan shushed him immediately and turned back to you.

“I'm not sure it's because of that. Don't worry that pretty little head of yours. I highly doubt he'd break down over something like this.”

You frowned. The glare you sent him was enough.

He immediately sighed and held up both hands. “Right. Sorry. That was insensitive.”

A pause.

“But that doesn't change the fact that I don't think he fainted because of the divorce. I think he was already at his breaking point.”

“So no one's going to tell me what's actually happening right now?”

Both of you ignored Mingyu again.

“Has anything odd happened lately?” you asked. “Other than the headaches.”

Jeonghan shook his head. “Not really. But what I can tell you is that he needs a break this time.”

Mingyu's eyes widened. “A break? Then I'll need to clear his schedule and move the planning meetings—”

Jeonghan immediately cut him off.

“What's done is done. Starting today, he's taking at least a week off. Tell him that.”

Just as you were about to continue questioning them, Jeonghan grabbed your shoulder and pulled you slightly aside.

“By the way,” he lowered his voice, “I found these in his desk drawer.”

You blinked and looked down at the small container resting in his palm.

Sleeping pills.

“Hey now—are you guys keeping secrets from me?” Mingyu complained while trying to peek. “I'm hurt.”

You quickly took the bottle before he could get a better look.

“Thank you for letting me know, Mr. Yoon.”

You gave him a small nod which Jeonghan mirrored it.

The brief exchange said enough. After all, he'd been working with Seungcheol long enough to notice when something wasn't right.

Something has definitely been going on lately.

Seungcheol did take a day off from work today. You told him the divorce settlement could wait until he fully recovered. You made sure he went through a proper medical checkup. Your personal doctor even came to the house.

Turns out, he was perfectly fine.

No issues with his blood pressure. His liver and gut health were normal, though the doctor did advise him to refrain from consuming alcohol for the time being.

For someone who claimed to want a divorce as soon as possible, you seemed awfully eager to take care of him.

Your movements halted in the middle of chopping carrots as you let out a sigh.

What did you actually want at this point? Was it guilt? Or were you still unsure whether divorce was truly the answer to your happiness?

One thing was certain—you were putting him first again.

You knew you had no obligation to do any of this. With everything hanging in the air and a divorce looming over both of your heads, you could've simply hired a private chef, or a housekeeper.

Yet you insisted on taking care of him personally.

It was definitely muscle memory. A habit that you thought you had already broken. Somehow, you found yourself back in the same position again.

Maybe you needed to stop trying to figure everything out on your own. Sometimes the answer arrived when you least expected it. Unfortunately, patience was never one of your strengths.

Seungcheol has always been an enigma to you.

But even the most mysterious person eventually cracks when someone keeps poking at the wrong places.

Which you did, constantly and apparently, annoying him was therapeutic for you.

Frowning, you stepped back from the steaming pot and turned off the stove.

It was almost eleven in the morning. Your husband still hadn't woken up. You had made sure he didn't take another sleeping pill.

While sorting through the unopened mail earlier, you noticed an envelope addressed specifically to him.

A medical document.

You hadn't meant to snoop. But once you saw it was from Diamond Medical Centre, curiosity got the better of you. According to the records, he'd been registered as a patient there nearly four years ago.

Panic disorder. Anxiety attacks. Insomnia.

The words stayed with you long after reading them.

His name was written right there. It also noted that he'd stopped attending his sessions shortly after. You ended up calling Jeonghan and asking him to look into it further.

Slowly pushing the bedroom door open, you peeked inside.

Seungcheol was still asleep.

You stepped in carefully, making sure not to wake him. It had been a while since you'd entered his room. Not since the two of you decided to sleep separately.

Looking at him now, you'd never seen him sleep this peacefully before. Almost as though he'd been desperately craving rest.

Was that why he took sleeping pills? You already knew he was sleep deprived. You'd always assumed it was because of work.

Now you wondered if sleeping itself had become difficult for him.

When did it start? Four years ago? Or even before your marriage?

You'd wait for Jeonghan to find out.

Carefully, you crouched beside the bed and stared at his sleeping face. It felt unfair that you would soon leave and never get to see this face every day again. Then again—what a waste of a pretty face.

If people thought you stayed in the marriage because your husband looked like he belonged on a magazine cover—

Well.

They wouldn't be entirely wrong. Unfortunately, a pretty face alone wasn't enough to keep a woman married.

Though Seungcheol was rich. 

Anyway.

One thing you absolutely couldn't stand was snoring. And too bad, your husband was one of those people.

Oddly enough, he wasn't doing it today. You wondered if he was even breathing.

So, just like the other day, you leaned closer. This time placing your ear against his chest to check his heartbeat.

Before you realized it, his eyes fluttered open—directly staring at you. Unfortunately, your body reacted faster than your brain. You pressed your lips against his, remaining there for a second longer than necessary.

Seungcheol stayed completely still. 

Judging by his reaction, he didn't seem affected by it in the slightest. Nor did he appear particularly horrified.

You slowly pulled away, trying to gather whatever dignity remained.

"What do you think you're doing?" His deep voice echoed through the room with those soulless eyes fixed directly on you.

You blinked, still way too close. "Uh...sleeping kiss?"

One of his eyebrows rose immediately.

"You looked like you weren't breathing in your sleep, so I thought a true love's kiss might wake you up."

Wow.

Nice save. But at what cost?

At this point, you might as well have read him a bedtime story.

Now fully awake, Seungcheol pushed himself up slightly and stared at you as if trying to determine whether he was still dreaming.

"I cooked earlier," you blurted out. "You should eat. It's almost lunchtime."

Immediately, you stood up and escaped the room before your embarrassment could kill you on the spot.

Honestly, you were digging your own grave. Who kissed their spouse in the middle of a divorce?

Suddenly, your phone buzzed. By the time you reached your room, you'd already accepted the call.

"Oh, hey. Did you find anything?"

"Yeah. Had to ask Wonwoo about it." Jeonghan chuckled softly. "He complained the whole time and accused me of interrogating him."

You waited quietly.

"Anyway, from what I found, Seungcheol was receiving treatment back then. But he eventually stopped showing up and kept skipping appointments."

You remained silent, letting him continue.

"I knew about the insomnia and panic attacks. I just didn't realize he'd been clinically diagnosed."

"You knew that?"

"I'm sorry, _____.” His voice softened. "I didn't know the full details. Aside from that, I think I know what might've caused it. For now, that's all I have. The doctor who treated him moved overseas years ago."

"It's okay," you assured him quietly. "You've already helped a lot. Let me know if you find anything else."

After the call ended, you sat at the edge of your bed. 

Thinking.

Seungcheol rarely talked about his family. Not because they had bad blood.

At least not from what you'd seen.

After his father's death, however, everyone seemed to drift apart. You always respected the boundaries he never verbally established, yet the invisible line was always there. No matter how much you reached out, he never seemed ready—or willing to let anyone in. Not even his wife.

He was difficult. Very complicated. Infuriating.

And yet here you were, worrying about problems that technically had nothing to do with you anymore.

When you should've been packing your belongings and preparing for the divorce.

Was this really how someone behaved when they desperately wanted to end a seven-year marriage? You didn't understand yourself either.

There was only one person left you could ask. So you reached for the business card resting on your bedside table. Staring at the familiar name printed on it.

Then you dialed the number. Later, the line connected after a few rings.

"Hello?" A familiar voice answered.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" 

That night has come, and yet you can’t seem to sleep properly, always rolling around your bed, restless.

For the first time, you never feel so bothered by it. The thought of leaving him once and for all, you wondered if he will get sick even more after divorce.

You wouldn’t think you'll be able to live with that while he was in the dark, keeping himself from the world.

Yeah. You definitely feel that remorse of guilt, even though Jeonghan keeps assuring you that Seungcheol is not that type of person who would dwell like a damsel in distress. You could’ve described it properly but you had no sense of wisdom to correct it now.

How could you possibly leave him like that? He was once a person you could never live without, he’s all you have now.

Or maybe you still care for him deep inside.

Sitting up, you sigh as you reach out your phone. The time is currently 3:04 A.M. which you were supposed to be sleeping by now.

When you think about not sleeping, you think of him. Did he manage to sleep today? How long had he been depending on that pill?

This is awful.

You seriously need to get a grip. Getting off from the bed, you went towards his bedroom, peeking slightly to see if he was sleeping.

Your heart rate rose instantly, opened the door clearly this time just to see the empty bed there. It doesn’t look like he was taking a shower either, you were frantically walking down the stairs, searching for his presence around, the balcony, living area and kitchen.

Does that mean he went back to his office to work again even at this time? There’s no way he would do that. He always works at home too with his devices in his study room.

You tried to call him this time. Not less than three seconds, you heard the phone buzzing on the glass table beside you.

Slowly, you turned around, eyes landed on the phone.

A brief quiet silence filled the air. The paranoia started to kick in, you tried to be calm about it but with zero response and his whereabouts in this penthouse seems to be dreading you out.

Where could he possibly be right now?

You choose another way to find him this time, as you stepped out the building, the cold air hit you but your thoughts were filled with his wellbeing.

You didn’t say any of his cars were being used, it’s not like he’s the type to go outside to just merely get some fresh air.

You tried to think where else he would go late at this hour, your car slowed as you examined the whole surrounding. As you stopped by a nearby park, you saw a figure sitting up at the bench alone.

From the looks of it, the back of the head seemed to be like him alright. You shut the door, hurriedly went over the lightpole, where the light illuminated the only dark space there.

“Cheol!” you called him out, that nickname you haven’t used in a while.

His head turned at you, almost dumfounded as he stood up slowly.

You let out a heaving breath, it was cold and hot was bothering you. Glancing at his form, he was still in comfortable clothes which were probably thinner even if it was just a cardigan. You realized he was walking here barefoot, feet red and covered with blisters.

You frowned, face was already dead, worried as hold his arms then down his hands, trying to warm him up and feeling how cold his hands had been.

“Where have you been?” your voice trembled a little, “I searched for you all over—” You stopped yourself just enough when you noticed his face has been looking at you the entire time, like he doesn’t appear to be aware of what's really happening.

You slowly breathe, one hand holding his other cheek, “I’m sorry, just tell me where did you go? If you’re having a hard time, just let me know, okay?” your voice softens, “don’t go wandering around without your phone…”

He didn’t reply immediately, his eyes that were always sharp and stoic are now more soft and gentle this time. His hand covered yours, the first time after a while you were this close to him.

“I was waiting for you.” He simply said, looking at you.

Your heart momentarily stutters at that, searching if he was deceiving you.

“We were supposed to meet at the park today,” he continued, “You told me today that we were supposed to go to the aquarium.”

There’s a quiet silence filled the cold night.

“...Cheol, that was six years ago.” you muttered softly, looking at him with sad eyes.

And yet, he doesn’t look like he was playing around. He genuinely meant every word of it.  The more he keeps looking at you like that, it hurts your heart because why did he look at you like he was still there, as if there's a spark of hope of him wanting you back.

On your way back home, the car ride was quiet. You didn’t press any further after that. Carefully tending to his injured feet, you cleaned and bandaged them properly. Given how quiet he was being, you didn’t question him as you looked up before organizing the first aid kit again.

He had been staring at you the whole time.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” you asked gently, setting the aid kit aside before standing up.

“Are you mad at me?”

That was what he asked instead.

Your movements halted for a moment as you slowly turned back to him, only to be met with those familiar soft eyes.

His gaze was almost docile.

Was this really the same stoic Seungcheol that everyone used to be intimidated by?

You placed the kit aside and sat back down beside him. “No... I’m not mad at you. What makes you think that?”

Seungcheol just looked at you. Really looked at you.

“It’s just... you looked like you were crying because of me. Did I do something that upset you?”

Your breath hitched at that, trying to swallow down the lump burning in your throat. Exhaling slowly, you reached for his hand, testing the waters first before actually holding it.

“No... I was just...” you hesitated, uncertain of what to say in this situation because he genuinely looked just as confused as you were. “...let’s get some rest, okay? You’ve had a long day.”

When you were about to stand up, he didn’t let go of your hand.

You glanced down at him. “I’ll be in my room if you need me,” you assured him softly.

“Why?” He frowned slightly. “I thought we were sleeping in the same room.”

He looked genuinely hurt by that. And by the looks of it, almost like a puppy that had been left out in the rain.

Now it was your turn to be confused. The entire situation felt like it was playing tricks on you.

Because why?

Why did he look at you like he still cared about you? Like he needed you the moment your hand slipped from his. Like the thought of you leaving was something he couldn’t understand.

“I hope you had a wonderful weekend, Seungcheol,” the voice echoed through the quiet, almost peaceful room. “Could you share with me how you've been feeling these days?”

“I did. And I’ve been feeling happier because I get to spend my whole day with my wife. She always smiles a lot when she’s with me.”

“That’s good to hear.” The man offered a small smile. “Now, can you tell me if anything unusual has happened?”

Seungcheol hummed, nodding slightly. “I had a dream. A really bad dream, doctor.”

The man leaned forward, listening intently.

“Is that so? Could you describe what kind of dream you were having?”

“There was a man. He looked like me, and in that dream...” he continued, almost as if he were retelling a story, “...he was different from me. Always alone, and as if people were afraid of him. I don’t like that person who looks like me in that dream.”

“Why is that, Seungcheol?”

“Because...” he hesitated. “Whenever I see him in my dream, my wife always cries because of me.”

A brief silence settled between them before Seungcheol continued.

“But doctor, my name is not Seungcheol,” he stated. “My wife always calls me Cheol. I don’t know why you keep referring to me by that name.”

“This might be confusing for you, but Seungcheol and Cheol are the same person.”

“What?”

Joshua let out a slow breath.

“In psychiatry, what you're experiencing is called Dissociative Identity Disorder,” he explained. “It’s commonly known as multiple personality disorder. The symptoms you're experiencing right now fit the criteria.”

Seungcheol simply stared at him. But the one sitting in front of him now was Cheol.

Not Seungcheol.

“You see, Seungcheol and Cheol are the same person,” Joshua continued. “And the person sitting in front of me is still Seungcheol, even when you tell me that you're ‘Cheol’ today.”

“But... that’s impossible. That’s not me...” he insisted.

Joshua opened his tablet and showed him a profile. Choi Seungcheol, part of the Diamonds Group—CEO of a financial institution.

Seungcheol looked unconvinced as he slowly examined the information displayed on the screen. It felt like he was looking at a complete stranger.

“Remember this,” Joshua continued gently. “Seungcheol and Cheol are one person.”

He paused in between.

“And we're here to find out what caused this trigger in the first place.”

TBC.

a/n: ayeee, how are we feeling for this prologue? let me know how it goes, feedback, comment, reblogs are appreciated.

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