Settle For My Love: A Bully Fanfic
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Gary x fem reader! Jimmy x fem reader!
Your new life for the years to come resides in a small town which houses the infamous Bullworth Academy. You try to navigate through the struggles of being left behind to fend for yourself in a new environment during your sophomore year of high school. But what happens when two boys known for trouble make it their goal to stir up your boring life, making sure you'll never be alone, even if they have to fight for your attention.
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Word count: 14.6k (yea, buckle up)
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Notes: Warning, this chapter is kinda angsty, sorry in advance I guess. And theirs a few cannon timeline dialogue moments (aka, the 2000s and there homophobia) but there are no present slurs used.
Even though I can re-claim it, it felt like a crime against myself to write it. Soooo here it is. Hope you enjoy!
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Chapter 12: Life Of The Party
If only I could teleport back homeâŚbut I'm not even welcome there.â
It was a real vulnerable time, class moving on as normal, but it felt like time stopped for youâjust to feel everything smack you right in the face.
Itâs been days since you ran away from Jimmy, and really, you haven't seen him since. Whenever shit like this happened, heâd always be the first to get up and leave, not coming back around until he feels like it's the same for himself to show his face again.
That's justâŚhow he is. And clearly Zoe liked that about him too. They never had to open up, talk about the hard feelings that make you feel the lump in your throat swell with emotion. What makes genuine connections feel human, real and raw.
You wanted to ask why, why did Zoe now all of a sudden want to kiss Jimmy. She never cared about him, or put up a really good front to make it seem like she didn't.
Cold and distant, a real reason why you never got around to asking her. But a tinge of fear, knowing the answer youâd get, wouldn't be the one youâre looking for.
But this isn't new, none of this is. Jimmy is an inconsistent, rampant teenage boy who kisses girls who pay him, and goes on dates with them. He was never an option, no consideration for the people around him, not even bothering to check up when you ran away.
But, you couldn't dwell on it for too long. After all, Halloween is today, and youâre ready to get looseâhave some fun for once in your life at this school. No Jimmy, no Gary to stop you.
You asked Petey if he wanted to go out with you, and he said yeaâsurprisingly considering he is the definition of a homebody-away-from-home. He never goes out, so you were excited when he accepted your offer in art class.
âI said yes already (Y/n), you donât have to keep making sure.â Petey placed down his sketchbook, looking away from the fruit bowl visual to see you barely containing a smile.
âI know itâs just, you never go out, and now you finally are!â Your arm grabbed his shoulder and shook him, Petey looking scared, eyes darting to his shoulder before a small smile grazed his lips, you dropping your arm down.
âItâs Halloween, why would I not go out?â He said sheepishly, rubbing and rolling his shoulders.
âThatâs the spirit!â You were excited, so excited Petey's question couldn't even drag down your mood.
âWhat aboutâŚZoe, Jimmy? You donât wanna-â You shushed him, placing your finger over his lips to do so.
Zoe hadnât been in art class for who knows how long, so you and Petey talked a lot, but you still never found the time to tell him what Zoe did. How it had you in a tizzy, before eventually letting it goâmostly just ignoring it and seeing where it goes.
âThey aren't important.â You took your finger off his lips, Petey looking down at your hand as it traveled back to pick up the pencil to your unfinished drawing.
âItâs just gonna be me and you tonight.â You said hushed, Petey breaking the ice again with new information.
âUh, fine by me then. I wonât be out long though so if you want to stay out longer youâre gonna have to ride solo.â As soon as Petey finished speaking, the bell for class ending rang, everyone packing up in a hurryâwhich is fair, Halloween night has officially begun.
âCool, I wonât be out long though.â You were one of those people, already pushing in your chair before Petey could even stand up.
âMeet me by the gates at 5:00. I canât wait to see your costume!â You ran out the room, all before he could even say anything.
It was 3 o'clock, just 2 hours to get ready, you had to manage your time somehow.
Zoe wasn't in the room, you hadn't seen her sinceâŚthat happened. Itâs been an out of sight, out of mind feelâsome time alone was desperately needed anyway.
You arrived at the dorm, Zoe's side messy, but empty. Youâve stared across the room, burning holes through the wall thinking she would just re-appear, and youâd get the answers youâve been wanting. But either sheâs been avoiding you, or she sneaks out every night before you wake up to disappear for the day. Either wayâeach method is the peak definition of being avoidant.
âI guess her and Jimmy have each other for that, dodging every single problem that comes their way with radio silence, thinking thatâs fixing something.â You missed talking to yourself, it was nicer than angry writing everything in a journal. At least only the walls around you will hear and remember what you sayâand you donât have to worry about your brain moving too fast for your slow writing.
âItâs been constant with her, like really I wouldn't even think of being her friend if she wasn't my fucking roommateâŚNo wait thatâs not true, sheâs actually nice, and okay to talk to. But what she did will probably be in my top 10 lists of the worst betrayals ever.â Flopping onto the bed, book bag falling with, you decided youâd get ready in exactlyâŚ30 minutes, maybe earlier, depends how much you wanted to say.
âBut what would be the other 9âŚnumber one is definitely my whole family dropping and abandoning me at this dumb ass school. At least itâll make for a good college sob story, or if I ever needed a reason to go on TV and whine to the judges and win a million bucks. Then Iâd go back home, and leave exactly $1 for everybody, in some fancy envelope, just âcus ya know, Iâd have the money to do that.â You rolled over, trying to grab your half empty water bottle off the desk beside you, but of course, it fell on the floor, right between the bed.
âCurse my lazy ass for putting it on the edge.â Reaching down, you shimmied the water bottle away to free itself from between the cracks, but it dragged something else with it.
A picture, printed from the times youâd pass around your disposable camera and ask people to take pictures with it. You recognized the photo, just from the back where two people signed their names.
Hesitant, knowing whatever photo it was, it was bound to make you emotional, you picked it up anyway. Flipping it over, it was two of your friends, grinning ear to ear as it captured you sleeping in the background, slumped over the desk as they pointed and laughed at you.
Unknowingly, this was the last photo you ever took with them. After the pictures developed, you took it to school the next day and tore them a new one, and out of all the pictures you showed them, they decided to sign only that photo.
After that school day, is when your parents dropped the bomb youâd be attending Bullworth the next school year. No goodbyes, no last hurrahs with your friend group when you got their numbers, keep in contact somehow.
Those numbers were written on a paper, at home somewhere, probably thrown out along with your residence a long time ago.
âMayaâŚElijah, you have no idea how much I miss you two.â They probably had some idea, they had to miss you too. No contact, cut off when your parents took your phone, subjecting you to babysitting and house work the whole summer before they officially cut the line and dropped you off.
âItâs weird, I feel homesick butâŚHow am I homesick, when there's no home to go back to?â Gripping the photo, you just sat, laid on the edge of the bed thinking. All the times you should've taken advantage of hanging out with the people you cherishedâbefore it was ripped away.
âI should probably get up soon, before I get in my feelings again. Iâve done that a lot this month, this might be a record.â You flung yourself up, rolling over to place your feet on the hardwood floor to finally start getting ready.
You took it upon yourself to give yourself sometime, not rush like you do most mornings. Checking the mirror each process step, finally putting on the finishing touches, gluing your fangs onto your K-9's and sneering at the mirror.
"See, if vampires are really out there, I think I'd make a damn good one." You found the time to get a costume to match the fangs you purchased a while back. A black dress, dark red lace covering overlaying with long bat wing sleeves. A black corset, black ribbon cuts strumming across the front, and the back where you tied yourself in as tight as your body allowed it.
Accessories and extra details will and always be necessary. A black laced choker, a large pendant, the center glass dark red, with a spider encapsulated in it. A bat wing clip in your hair, placed off to the side not pulling any of your hair back. And of course the blood, some around your mouth, your face trailing down to your neck, and some on your dress and hands. You ran your hands across the velvety material, turning in the mirror to check yourself out.
âIt feels good not wearing that damn uniform. Wearing the same thing everyday is gonna drive me insane.â You sighed, looking down at your desk to see the photo again, laid flat out on the table.
âI wonder what you guys are dressed up asâŚâ You reached out, picking it up againâdelicate touching like the piece of laminated paper was gonna denigrate in your hands.
âItâs probably something stupid, and youâre going to have to spend the whole night trying to convince people the costume makes sense.â You chuckled, thinking of the scenario playing out in your head; because almost the exact same thing happened when you and Ethan went as Janis and Damian from Mean Girls.
Which is kinda surprising, considering the movie is very popular, but people only seem to remember the main starring cast of the movie.
âPeople donât have good taste when it comes to costumes, I just hope it's different here.â Staring at the photo, you finally broke away to slip it into your wallet, quickly gathering all your belongings and practically running to the door. But it opened, the door flying just a few inches away from your face, finally getting a good look to see who it was.
It was Zoe, standing at the door clearly shocked you were even there. Her eyes widened, your irritation spiking when you saw her attempting to say something.
â(Y/n) I-â Instead, you pushed past, not even giving her the chance to explain herself.
âSave it, Iâll see you later.â You saw her getting ready to wind up and speak again, but you made some distance as you sped walked down the hallway, everyone already out of their dorms in their costumes helping you blend into the crowd, disappearing without a trace as Zoe huffed, walking into the room and slamming the door.
âWhat the hell is her problem?! Now you want to talk to me. Why?? I have NO clue.â Every ones chatter in the dorm covered your huffs of angerâthough, one person listened in, hearing as you marched to sit down on the couch to cool down before meeting Petey.
âWho's giving you a hard time?â You heard the voice, a girl dressed as a black cat picking at her nails leaned over sitting right next to you.
âI should learn how to be more aware of my surroundingsâŚâ You could only tell who it was when you looked over. Mandy, unknowingly opening the flood gates of welcoming shit talking.
âYou probably know her, but my roommate decided to probe and find out who I liked. And I knew I should've kept my mouth shut, thatâs her ex after all-â She sat up, immediately perking in interest the more you talked.
âWait, you got with her ex??â
âI didnât. She never had any problems with me being friends with him. But now all of a sudden I bring his name up to take him with me today. And guess what? She fucking kisses him, right in front of my face! Just minutes after I brought him up.â You paused, feeling her lean in closer to listen in better, like what you said was sacred information.
Or, it could be the key to something brand new. Being, brand new information on your pressing problem.
âWaitâŚare you talking about Zoe and Jimmy?â Mandy talked confused, like she questioned herself when you knew damn well she knows exactly what sheâs talking about.
âYes! Both of them!â You sat up, finally feeling seen as a sheepish snarl crept onto Mandy's face, her completely forgetting about fiddling with her sleeve to fully pay attention to you.
âUgh, their relationship was so weird. Zoe may try to hide it, but sheâs just like the rest of us girls. Clingy, wanting to be with their boyfriend all day, doing anything to get his attention. But Jimmy has as much emotion as a piece of drywall. So with her pretend act, and Jimmy's lack of care, you get the weirdest stuck in the middle relationship ever.â The more she talked, the more your mouth dropped in shock.
âWowww, Zoeâs really like that?? She acts like a distant asshole with everybody else.â
âWell, she used to be. We were cool before, but now sheâs just some girl who spends most of her time hanging out with older men in trailer parks.â Mandy's tone was venomous, careless with this information as if it was displayed in the daily paper for everybody to see.
âAnd Jimmy, well, heâs complicated.â Your eyebrows furrowedâhearing his name, wanting to know more.
âComplicated how?â She chuckled, probably knowing you were gonna ask that. She leaned in, her soft hands cupping around your ear as you smelled her sickly sweet candy perfume.
âIf I tell you a secret, will you promise not to tell anyone?â You didnât say anything, only nodding before she backed up, ready to proceed with your very unsure steady grounded confirmation.
âItâs not like Iâd have anyone to tell anyway.â
âI had the unfortunate of being roomed with Beatrice again this year, so I get to hear her moan and bitch about Jimmy, and other problems she has while I pretend to listen. One particular day, she came in all mad, writing in her diary not letting me see, or telling me whatâs wrong. So of course when she went to shower, I had a peak.â Your brain racked, thinking of who that was to put face to name.
âBeatrice BeatriceâŚthat must be the girl Jimmy kissed that one day!â
âApparently, Jimmy doesnât kiss girls for money anymore, or help with anybody's relationship problems. He turned down Beatrice's kiss, and turned down the opportunity to help a girl get back with her boyfriend. Jimmy hasn't made any moves on me recently; so either he and Zoe are back together, which is very unlikely, orrr heâs planning on making a move on somebody else.â Mandy talkedâno thoughts going through your mind as she finished talking, picking at her nails again watching you stare blankly into the side of her head.
âSo he might be openâŚno, donât get your hopes up. You thought this last time, and look where you are right now.â You shook your head, your own thoughts fighting battles inside your head as you tried to clear your head, relax a little. Thankfully, Mandy didn't notice, leaning back on the couch to get up.
âDonât let this be on your mind tonight. You should come to my party later.â
Oh yea, the party Zoe wanted you to go to.
âI was planning on going, but of course the plans changed and I donât know where you live.â Was it an excuse? Maybeâbut Mandy had clearly already thought of a solution.
âOh thatâs easy, itâs the second biggest house in West Township, the closest neighborhood to Old Bullworth Vale. If you canât find it, just look for the house with the most people by it. â Mandy talked so enthusiastically, making it veryawkward to turn her down straight in her face.
âIâŚI'll think about it.â Uncertainty weaving through your voice, she smiled, a genuine smile as she gave a small wave goodbye.
âAlright, Iâll hope to see you later then!â With that, she was gone, out the door the same way you should be doing right now.
Eventually, you followed in her footsteps, getting up from the sunken spot in the couch to weave through the idle bodies standing by the door. It was cold, but not too cold to the point it was unbearable. So you took your time walking, not really getting to do this often, notice the trees color changes, all the different people you never see in class all out tonight.
But then you realizedâŚit was probably way past 5 by now.
âShitttt, this is what I get for entertaining her for so long.â You wanted to slap yourself for the fact, but your hands were full, so instead you sped up your walking pace, practically jogging until you made it to the gate, seeing Petey lean on it crossing his arms with his bag also in his hands.
âOh my gosh Petey, I am SOâŚsorry I was talking to someone, and I completely lost track of time! I need to be more punctualâŚâ You jumbled on your own words, standing in front of Petey feeling like a sack of shitâbut his next words eased that pain, relieving.
âItâs okay, really! I actually just arrived not that long ago, I wanted to spend more time on my costume, and like you, I kinda lost track of timeâŚâ He rocked a sheepish smile, leaning up from the gate as you looked down and realized, his costume was pretty detailed. He wore a green cloak, thick cloth material held together by 2 brown buttons at the top. He had brown pants, boots to match them with the smaller details like the feather placed to the side in his hair, the belt wrapping around the cloak.
But probably the most noticeable thing, the big bow and arrows resting on his back, all while he held his bag in the front away from it all.
âWho are you supposed to be? I can kind of see the fantasy look.â You look him up and down, analyzing his costume trying to put the pieces together, but Petey nervously chuckled, breaking the air of silence.
âThatâs really ironic you asked me that. You look like you just got doneâŚkilling somebody.â You can tell he was second guessing himself when he said thatâtrying to hide the tremor in his voice when he said it.
So, you decided to tease him a little.
âAnd what if I did.â You inched closer, tilting your head to the side to stare into his eyes, your arm snaked around his waist to pull him closer, suddenly watching the look of distress cloak his features.
âYou wanna be next?â Your nails dug into him, opening your mouth to show off your bloody fangs, tongue flicking against them before you closed your mouth.
Now, youâve succeeded in scaring Peteyâmaybe you should've saved the scares for later into the night.
âI-Iâm good, my plan wasn't really toâŚdie tonight.â He backed up, your arm falling back to your side as he nervously smoothed out his shirtâinvisible wrinkles yet to be made on the thick material.
âBesides, you didn't even guess who Iâm dressed up as yet.â This again, youâve looked over his costume this whole time, and no overarching names came to your mind. Was it really that hard?
âIf I were to guess, youâre probably some character from those fantasy books you like reading.â You though he was going to spill, but shook his head, a breathy chuckle leaving through his nostrils with a faint smile on his lips.
âI guess thatâs close enough. Youâre probably gonna be the closest one tonight also.â
âReallyâŚitâs starting to seem like you donât want me to know what the fucking costume is.â You stared at him, not exactly to the point of agitation, but inching there quicker than a usual situation would cause for it.
âOkay whatâs with all the suspense? Tell me Petey I'm dying here!!â You threw your arms out, exaggerating your words so maybe heâll finally spill the beans on whatâs so secret about his costume.
âIâŚIâm Robin Hood, itâs a common trope in the books I like to read. I-I know itâs not the coolest thing but I like this trope. The brave brigade anti-hero whoâs to the public an outlaw, but inward he helps people, his communities better themselves and stay afloat despite the rich taking from them. Selfless hero, who knows when to help, even if to the outside eye itâs an impractical way of doing it.â You saw Petey shrink inward, speaking so smoothlyâconfident but then immediately retracting his words of wisdom.
âPeteyâŚthatâs pretty damn cool to me. This guy is kinda like you in a way.â Petey lit up, not at all expecting you to respond to his unwarranted rant.
âReally, how?!â His voice was high pitched, you giggled, shocked at the fact youâve never seen him this excited before.
âYou know when to help, even if itâs not in a practical way. You're selfless, outcasted from this school, but you never dim your light for anyone. Anddd youâre friends with me, so thatâs also an extra bonus on how cool you are.â You saw his smile falter, heâs surprised, and youâre surprised you could even put into words how you feel about him.
âAnd donât talk down on yourself, accept the compliment for once.â You knew Petey, you knew if you gave him the opportunity heâd figure out how to flip your words, drag himself down to the level he thinks he belongs at.
You knew, you knew all too well thatâs exactly what heâd do; experiences can build that type of radar.
âThanks-..Thank you.â You didn't say anything to his thanksâwell verbally. You smiled, nodding your head down, mouthing 'you're welcomeâ. You saw him relax, happy for that, but you couldn't bear to let everyone walk past you guysâto go out to the real fun while you're stuck here, although having a great conversation, time was a-wasting.
âWell, the night isn't getting any younger, letâs go!â You pushed through the black gate, now both sides open completely. Petey walked through, and the both of you walked over to telepathically agree to take the bus when you saw everyone else also standing around to do so.
âSay Petey.â You broke the silence, feeling as though the growing night sky is starting to make you feel anxious, but it was probably in your head.
âYou think youâd let me read some of your books? Iâve been kinda bored lately if I have to be honest. I don't have a place to play my CDs, or anything that could keep me entertained without costing an arm and a leg.â Finally, after so long you thought youâd grow accustomed to itâcompletely forget it even exists. Your mom took your phone, your speaker, andyour disc-man that went along with your CDsâŚand never gave them back, even when she supposedly âdropped off all of your stuffâ back here.
You could live without the phone, sure. But music? Youâre gonna have to get that speaker real soon.
âSure, I'll let you borrow some, itâll be nice to finally have someone to talk to about my book theories.â Immediately, your interest peaked.
âOuuu what book theories, I wanna know.â you questioned him, but he shook his head, signaling the answer was probably no.
âYou gotta read first, then I'll tell you.â Right as he said that, the bus arrived, skirting in front of the bus stop as kids piled off, and others replaced the ones that just came off.
âOh boo, thatâs bogus!â you screamed, weaving through the crowd, taking Petey's hand in yours to drag him with and secure a seat on the bus.
âSo where do you wanna head first?â Petey was the one to pop the question, because this time you didn't get the chance to tell the bus driver where you wanted to go, so youâd have to rely on the stops that happen in the towns, and neighborhoods.
âWho cares! Whichever stop shows houses first, that's when we're getting off.â You leaned back, and an amused look on your face from Petey's enthusiasm.
âOkay, you're the boss then, weâre gonna have fun tonighttt!â You wrapped your arm around his shoulder, Petey finally starting to let loose from his usual self, all before you even stepped foot into official Halloween territory.
When the time did arrive, the bus cleared off as almost everyone had the same idea as you two: get off at the first stop where houses are seen. It was a good neighborhood, so immediately when you and Petey started walking door to door, the houses were stacked with all the good candy's, and other knick knaks given out when the homeowners decided to be different this year.
People complimented your costume, and Petey'sâwhich you could tell was affecting the way he moved. He stood taller, prouder in the fact he didn't feel the need to make himself small to fit into the box of standards he set for himself.
âWhatâya got so far,â Petey said, leaning over to look into your bag as the two of you made your way over to the next neighborhood. Vigorously, you dug through your bag.
âOkay I gotâŚA whole bunch of candy, obviously. I see some popcorn balls, glow sticks, a cup of noodles, stickers. AndâŚa toothbrush??â You reached down into your bag, pulling out the toothbrush with a sticky tag label note hanging off from the side of it.
âCavity are common, but the risk can be reduced by 100% if you use this :)â You read the note, and then showed it to Petey, who laughed when he finished the note.
âOh you mustâve gotten that from the Johnson's. Both Mr. and Mrs Johnson are dentists, they do it to spread awareness I guessâ Petey said, handing back the toothbrush.
âSoooo theyâre making it their goal to have less patients?â
âI meanâŚif you look at it like that yea.â
âWell, I'll use it. Iâve been needing a new tooth brush anyway.â You dropped the toothbrush back into your bag, and finally crossed the threshold of the next town.
It was beyond the sun's time, dark skies engulfing all of the people that walked along the sidewalks with their friend groups. Unknowingly, the two of you got mixed up in one, though they didn't really mindâsafety in numbers I guess.
âI swear, thatâs what my mom used to tell me, but that didn't work out well.â
âNo no, Iâm not gonna think about her tonight, or any of themâŚâ Immediately, your heart dropped.
âShit, I said that out loud.â
âThink about who? Are you okay?â One of the girls dressed as Cupid said, turning around and the rest of her group did also.
âI-Iâm fine, I think I just need some space. You guys can go ahead.â Your voice trembled, Petey immediately noticed the inflection and walked from the front of the group to the back, where you resided.
âOkay, have a good night then. Stay safeâ said another one of the girls in the group, waving at you guys as the group descended away from your trained eye vision.
âAre you okay?â Petey said, his voice soft as his eyes were filled with honest concernâwide and glossy staring directly at you.
âI-...Iâve told you what happened with my family right?â Petey nodded his head, eyes darting away when you finally looked up.
âI try not to think about it too oftenâŚbut itâs like every little thing reminds me of them, what I used to have before they left me.â You paused, drawing in the cool air as your chest heaved, but dropping again.
"Itâs wrong, I should hate them for what they did, any normal person wouldâŚBut I canât, no matter what I do.â You paused, drawing in the cool air as your chest heaved, but dropping again.
âBecause I know, deep down they couldn't bring themselves to hate me either.â Now, was it the best time to be saying poetic things about your family hating-not-hating you? Yea, definitely, ruin your mood, and everyone else's mood around you.
âI meanâŚthey donât hate you. Why donât you go visit one day?â
âOnly the worst idea set for failure everâ is what you would've said if you actually wanted to keep a conversation. But soon enough, you pushed out all of your own thoughts fighting you, to switch the topic.
ââŚI donât want to think about this right now though. Besides we got more neighborhoods to ransack!" You tried dragging Petey along, though he stumbled forward with you, his feet soon faced glued flat where he was at.
âActuallyâŚI think I'm gonna call it a night.â
âWhatâŚWhy are you leaving right now?! I-..I thought we were supposed to be together the whole time. Iâm not tired yet, please just stay with me!â You were desperateâpractically begging him, but he stood his ground
âIâm sorry, I already told you I wasnât gonna stay out late. BesidesâŚthere really wonât be any houses to go left around here.â He sounded timid, unsure of his own answer like he still had questionsâmore questions than you did.
âWhy not? What the hell is up with this town?!â Petey sighed, taking in your words to prepare for what he had to say next.
âTheirs nothing wrong with itâŚI'm just saying this from experience. Last year, I went out with Jimmy and Gary for Halloween. It wasnât the worst, Jimmy had to fight somebody for meâŚI wonder what happened to him.â He paused, suddenly realizing he was getting off track.
âBut thatâs besides the point. Around this time, the streets clear out, and almost everyone goes to the parties on Old Bullworth Vale, or West Township. Jimmy tried to make me go to one last year, but I-I couldn't do it.â
âSo you went back to the school? There had to be other people out like us right?â Your face curled, the more and more Petey spoke.
âIf there were people out, they were making their way back to the school the same as me. Most of the houses shut off their lights for the nightâand the few others were people looking for stragglers to give the rest of their candy toâŚwhich were mostly the crap most people grazed over when picking. Gary disappeared somewhere, anddd that was pretty much my night.â He finished up speaking, and for the first time while standing still in the same spot, you looked at your surroundings.
If what Petey said was true, it could probably be proven by the amount of people all walking the same direction the same way your temporary group did. They took up the street, not bothering to walk on the sidewalks as they weren't there for the candy anymore.
âBut theirs still houses that have there lights on, we have to-â
âLookâ Petey said, sternly in his own way cutting off your words before you could continue asking for the same thing again and again.
âI already told you I wasnât staying out long. Iâm sorry, but you have to go without me.â Without even waiting for your opinion, he turned aroundâthe opposite direction of the entire crowd.
âFind some other people, I think theyâll like youâ was the last thing you heard. Petey walked awayâfast at that, leaving you all alone once again, at night.
âYou canât be seriousâŚâ No goodbye, no good luck, justâŚalone. But, at least you could talk to yourself now, let your thoughts be spoken instead of roaming in your head
âThis shit always fucking happens, especially on Halloween night apparently! I always end up being alone. But you know what? I donât need youâIâll have fun on my own!â Your voice raised, kicking the rock on the sidewalk and watching it roll the more you talked.
âIâll get all my candy, by myself!â With that, you finally built the courage to move. You walked the same direction as everyone elseâwalking past each house to see if the lights were on, or if any candy bowls were out. The sun has now fully set, the cold winds picking up to blow through your skirt, and whipping past your face with each forwarding step you took.
Though, there wasn't as much as you hoped, you still made your rounds. But as you walked away from the last house on the block, someone called for you. Whipping your head around, you saw it was the same girl in the cupid costumeâfrom the group you broke apart from.
âHey! I know you! Youâre the girl that we left.â She ran up, reaching you out of breath as a shocked expression plastered your face.
âWhen you put it like that it sounds like you did it on purpose. But yea, thatâs me.â
âOkay okay good, I just wanted to tell you that your friend was looking for you. Iâll bring you to him.â She spoke fast, only her jumbled words through shallow breaths confusing you even more.
âFriendâŚBut he left a while ago, why would he be looking for me?â
âOh no not the short dude with you, it was some other guy. He was asked around for you. I didnât know your name, so when he described how you looked I decided to leave and look for you. And lucky meee I found you.â She pointed, jokingly towards you before grabbing you by the arm, locking hers between yours.
âWalk with me, Iâll show you where heâs atâanddd you can party with us after!â She was chipper, but it didn't distract from the fact on what she said.
âPartyâŚâ The word chimed, ringing echoes through your mind.
âOh I-I wasn't planning on going to a party-â You tried objecting, but she tugged your arm, making you hiss.
âOh come onnnn. We gotta get crunk tonight! Donât be lame!â Those words solidified itârealizing there was no point in fighting her.
So you let it happenânot necessarily by force, but your curiosity peaked, and your nerves were also about to peak.
âYeaâŚI guess I'll go.â The girl squeed with excitement, picking up her walking pace even faster to drag you down through the crowded street.
âI never caught your name, who are you!â you said, yelling at her as the music and the bustling crowds began to drown out your surroundings.
âThatâs a cute name!â
âThanks! And were almost there. Can you help me look for the second biggest house?!â
âIâll try!â The two of you walked along the sidewalk, checking for each house to see which one housed the most people, then it dawned on you.
âWait, second biggest houseâŚisn't that wher-â
âWere hereeee!â She snaked her arm from under yours, looking at you with a bright smile as your heart dropped, finally recognizing where Destiny's destination was this whole time.
âShe took me to Mandy's partyâŚfuck my life.â
âI gotta go, your friend should be around here!â She quickly left, slipping into the steadily growing crowd that resided in the front lawn.
And by the looks of it, Mandy was pretty accurate. The house was huge, a Tuscan style homeâwarm lighting and brown shingles all throughout; but the house wasn't the important part. The music bumped from the inside, people swarming the front yard clearly in different stages of the party.
Some people were just trying to enterâthe majority really. Some were just getting some fresh air, as in laying in the grass, smoking, or making out right by the entryway. And then theirs the final stage, puking in a bush, all from the over-consumption of whatever cheap alcohol was present inside.
Just your typical, run of the mill teenage ran house party.
Now came the person, your âfriendâ, that couldn't be anyone else that fit the very vague description given.
âWait Destiny, who am I looking for?!â It was pointless to yell for her, she already disappeared. But right after you yelled for her, the smell of cologne filled your nostrils, overpowering the smell of alcohol, and ashen smoke.
You had tunnel vision, but as soon as you smelled the cologneâthe pieces of the very hard created puzzle, finally fit together.
âHello (Y/n). Itâs nice to see I've finally found you.â Gary, the source of his voice, low, close behind you as you didnât want to turn aroundâto face him head on and see how he really looked. Itâs as if the crowd stood stillâfrozen in time with only the two of you being able to move freely amongst it. You could see his arms, a white button up shirt, blood staining and soaking through the stained material
âWhy didnât you let me see your costume? I had to find you myself.â Your heart raced, feeling his arms wrap around from behind, engulfed in the burning body heat that radiated from him, and your skin warming up with each moment that passed you didn't move.
âYou look good in that dress, it fits you perfectly.â He pulled you closer, hugging tighter as his head was resting on your shoulders. The smell of his husky, woody cologne wafting to your nose, inhaling it with each second you let him take advantage of your feelings.
It was wrong, so wrong to be so easy to fall for himâhis tricks on affection that wouldn't flip on you. He knew how you felt, and knows that he toyed with your feelings before and left you.
But why this time, does it feel genuine? Or are you finally getting the satisfaction it needs, even if it wasn't genuine.
You couldn't stand to be seen as only someone whoâs willing to give up everything for somebody who could never reciprocate how they feel. You stepped back, pushing off Gary to finally get a good look at him, and frankly, you immediately regretted it.
âYou look-âŚI like what you're wearing. What are you supposed to be?â An embarrassment, feeling like you were gonna explode because you turned into a stuttering messâall because of him.
âIâm just like youâI thought we could match in a way.â When he said this, you eyed him up and down, finally getting a good look without your eyes gluing and focusing on one part.
He wore a button up shirt, matching with the black dress pants stained with blood. His tie was red, but the dark red of the blood still visible. You could see his fangs, significantly longer than yours, fangs and face stained with blood. His hair was slicked back, gel coursed through as some pieces fell from the hardened cast.
You stared at him, but this time he was staring right back at you, standing closer as everyone surrounding you felt like a protective blanket layer.
But it didn't feel right, maybe it never did and you're just trying to trick yourself. Either way, it wasn't gonna work on you this time.
âGaryâŚcan you back up?âConfusion ran through his faceâdropping before turning back into its usual smug look.
âHm? I donât think I heard you-â It struck a nerve so deep within you, itâs surprising Gary didn't even notice the immediate switch in your emotion.
âI said back up!â You pushed him, yelling as he stumbled backwardsâclearly surprised and not expecting such a rash action.
âWhyâd you do that?!â He yelped, watching your face scrunchâpure annoyance, and fury coursing through your veins.
âIâm getting really sick of your shit Gary! Youâre the most inconsistent person I've ever met! And TRUST ME, I know what the fuck inconsistency looks like!â Gary leaned back, your tone throwing him off as he quickly spat out a reply.
âInconsistency?? Iâve been by your side this whole time, how am I inconsistent?!â Inconsistent, that word keeps getting thrown around, and honestly, it describes perfectly how he acts on the daily.
âYou canât be seriousâŚâ Was it even worth it to argue with him? Pointless to waste your time instead of just walking away.
But he needed to hear it, especially from you.
âOne moment, you're close to me, making me feel special, like we actually had something. But then I'm sadly proven wrong. Every. Time.â You saw Gary open his mouth to speak, but you quickly spoke over him, watching his face curl when he couldn't get a word out.
âYou push me aroundâ embarrass me every time I try to get close, you push me away like I'm some fucking parasite! But then the next moment act like we're the bestest of friends again!â
âThatâs not true! We are friends!â He was getting desperate, but his tactics of trying to get through to you weren't working.
In fact, they just fueled your over-bearing anger even more.
âYes it IS! Was I just a pawn?! Someone to make you look and feel normal to everyone else that talks shit about you⌠Maybe those stories of youâwere true all along.â It struck a nerve, obviously deeply inside Gary. You watch his fast twist, each word punching deeper into him the more you speak.
âYou lead me on, and made me think you actually cared about meâŚYour heart is cold Garyâyou donât even know what you wantâŚâ
âI want you.â Soft, lower than your voice by decibels. His mind flashed backâevery word Dr. Mink said for him to finally be able to confess. But there's no point in a confession if the receiver doesn't believe it.
âNo you donât.â It cut through, cold, sharp edged bladed but straight to the answer youâve been skiing over this whole time. Frozen over icy lands of ices finally melting over to reveal the secret hiding under the layers.
âDonât make me believe something that you know will never come true.â These were your final wordsâstorming off completely away from Gary, dropping your bag of candy to blend in with the crowd entering the house.
It would've been so easy to fall for himâhis tricks into believing heâd actually stay this time. The costume was just like a band-aid on top of a deep, infected wound. Fixing what's on the surface, but leaving the bottom core to rot, only affect it even more if youâd just leave the scar alone.
Because wounds need air, just like relationships in a way. Suppressing yourself with the band-aid and pretending itâs all fine will only cause the root problem to worsen from the inside. Rotten like a days-old apple, the only way to save it is to cut off the infected pieces and hope the bacteria never spread all throughout.
It's what you had to do for Garyâcut him off and hope the rot didn't spread throughoutâleave bits and pieces behind to clean up.
âI didn't even wanna go to this damn party, but I'll do anything right now to take my mind off of aâŚboy. AUGH I canât believe it!!â You were glad it was loud, otherwise it wouldâve been a real awkward encounter if someone heard you.
Finally making through, you stepped through the threshold of the door. The air was thick, humidity making your skin immediately feel sticky.
The music was loudâbass rattling as people walked around you, loosely holding bottles of beer and other mysterious cups of liquids in solo cups around.
You promptly decided on your first activity to do while trying to ignore your own brain fighting itself, exploring. This wasnât your first party, but itâs definitely the biggest one youâve been to.
No like literally, the house was huge, and it was the second biggestâŚ
âI canât even imagine what the biggest house looks like. Probably makes mine look like a shack.â
âOh shit forgot, thatâs not my house anymoreâŚBut Iâll just have to get my own, just as big as this one.â Justifying it wasnât going to do it any good, but taking your mind off of things is the main reason youâre hereâso making the best of it was the only thing you could do.
The first area you ventured through was the most crowded areaâsome sort of living room or open concept space was filled with people. Some sat on the couches, probably having the best conversation ever, others like the usual danced, or wall-hugging, watching on, wishing they could be like the people that moved so freely along with others.
Depressing, but relatable in the sense, either way, the area didn't serve enough to interest you.
âMaybe talking to someone is a good ideaâŚnot walking around looking lost.â Criticizing yourself, although weird, was the only way to get something moving. You walked through what seemed to be the dining roomâwhich led directly outside through the porches screen doors.
But what was weird, was the trail offâŚclothes leading outside. You wanted to swiftly turn around and try somewhere else, but whatâs the worst that could happen if you check it out?
âForgive me for being curiousâŚWhoevers judging me right now.â It was weird alright, but maybe it was the impulses acting. Stepping over each piece of clothing, you slid open the screen door to seeâŚa pool, and people jumping in.
It was a concerning amount of people striped down to practically nothing, jumping into the freezing cold pool.
âWhat the hellâŚâ you said, not helping exclaiming to yourself, looking as another girl turned her head to youâwho by relief, was fully dressed.
âI know right, fucking crazy if I say.â Her arms were crossed, leaned on the brick wall right beside the screen door, face twisted as she watched another person jump into the pool. The water splashed, hitting your face making you immediately jump to get closer to her.
âAll of my friends are now continuing to jump into some random girls' pool, all because some dude âdaredâ them to do it. I tried to tell them not to listen to him, but they insisted I'm lame, and I need to âlive a littleâ. Like okay?? Iâm sorry Iâm trying to save you from some horny piece of shit that just wants to see your tits. Sorry I have decency and respect for myself to not strip down in some bitches pool.â
â...Huh, why donât you just leave them? I mean, theirs a whole house full of-â If it was even possible, her face crunched even more as she cut straight through your words.
âAre you suggesting I be an asshole?? Where the fuck are your friends?!â
âOkayâŚmaybe she isnât the move then. But that was pretty stupid to say. â
âThey're actually inside.â A lie, quickly made up to get out of that conversation scot free, still with pieces of your confidence attached.
âThen why the fuck are you out here?â
âDonât knowâ seemed to be the right response, pulling the patio door open to then walk back into the stuffy house
This wasn't turning out the best in your favor. Maybe after getting some water, youâll leave and take your losses, and shattered ego back to the school with you.
So now, you had no new friend to talk to, and now you are extremely thirsty.
âWhere to find water. Probably one of the coolers.â Quickly, you walked to the nearest cooler and opened it, andâŚitâs not like you were surprised it was just beer and canned cocktails, just thoroughly disappointed it was just that.
Sooner or later, you made the decision to start looking around for waterâŚand luck wasnât in your favor.
You made it to the kitchen, the last part of the downstairs area youâve looking through, minus the really crowded spaces that you couldnât get past. Though just like the cooler by the patio, the only thing readily available was more alcohol, a lonely bag of chips, and a lighter.
Yea, the options were pretty limited here too.
âHey, you in the clown costume!â You saw him walking out the kitchen, and he lookedâŚtrustworthy enough to ask questions.
âDo you know where I can get some water around here?â
âUhhh theirs box wine in the fridge. But the jungle juice is pretty good.â
âNo Water. Ya know, the shit you need to survive.â Walking out from the house and drinking from the hose was looking like a better, and probably the best option. But after he took another swig from his cup, the light-bulb in his brain went off.
âYessss waterrrr. Where the fuck do I get it?!â He jumped back, some liquid spilling onto his jumpsuit as his other hand shot up in front to defend himself in a way.
âWoahh girl, chill I donât know where the water is, but you could probably ask Mandy. Sheâs upstairs, I can show you-â
âNo that wonât be necessary, thank youâŚclown guy.â
âWell uhâŚthanks Trent.â You tried walking away, but Trent started talking again.
âYa know, youâre pretty hot. I always see you in that school uniform. But man I didnât know the uniform made that much of a difference.â He placed his drink down, pulling you by your waist closer towards himâarms wrapping around delicately.
âHow about we go out sometime? Just you and me alone gorgeous.â Attention, attention in all of the bad ways, at the wrong time. You were frozen, the gap between the two of you never shiftingâmoving even an inch as you felt his breath, laced with the smell of alcohol wafting onto your face.
It was wrong to stand there, to let him ask you out. But you weren't rejectingâŚand why does it feel like you donât want to?
Gary's is inconsistentânever there when you need him most. Jimmy comes in to fill that gap, but is so avoidant whenever problems arise he disappears, and the cycle repeats over and over again.
You hated it, feeling like a second option. But now, you feel as though you were the firstâsought out for like diamonds in mine shaftsâpriceless compared to anything else in the world.
âMaybe, youâre cute Trent.â It wasn't necessarily falling for him; you didn't have any plans to go out with himâbut entertaining the possibility of it happening was what made it fun.
Not feeling like a second option, the precious cut of diamond.
You kissed his cheek, snaking away to give a small wave, watching Trent touch his cheek and his face slowly transform into a shade of pink. It looked as though he was unaware of the world around him, some dude pushing past him as he stood in the entry way of the kitchen.
âYeaâŚreal smooth girl. Indisputably accept that terrible offer of his! Now everyone's gonna think you're a slut.â
âBut I'm not really a slut though, itâs just one guy.â
âItâs still kinda fucked up to lead him on though, youâre just doing the same thing Jimmy and Gary are doing to you.â
âOh my gosh.â Finally, you spoke out loud, right at the footsteps did the realization set it.
âI canât do that to him, I gotta tell him I donât want the date.â
âBut what if he wasn't being serious.â
âBut what if he wasâŚâ
âHe was so seriousâŚI gotta tell him, I canât break his heart like that!â Your brain was so weird, one moment youâre flirting with somebody.
Now you want to take it all back.
You walked to the kitchen, faster paced to try and find him, and to no surprise, he wasn't there. You thought he wouldn't have gone far, so you look through the entire surrounding area, but there still wasnât any luck there either.
âShittttâŚâ You scratched your head, looking around the now crowded kitchen with people flowing in.
âYou know what?! I give up. I'll try looking for him tomorrow." With that, you left, finally to find answers to where the damn water is at.
Up the stairs you walkedâwooden, probably creaky, but masked by the loud music and chatter that was heard just a few doors down.
All of the doors were closedâdark underneath and shut off. All except for one, the door slightly cracked open and a light source came from underneath.
It had to be Mandy, it couldn't be anybody else. Why would she allow them all the way upstairs? But you were going to technically be breaking that ruleâbut it was for a good cause, maybe sheâll let it slide.
Finally reaching the door, you tried to knock, but it opened, another person, definitely not Mandy standing looking at you.
You were frozen, and looking past the girl, was another group of people, all huddled in the room, tucked away from the rest of the party, talking amongst themselves before focusing their attention on you centrally.
âH-Hi, I'm looking for Mandy. Is she in here?â Curse your nerves, you stuttered in front of a brand new group of people. If they weren't judging you before, they definitely were nowâthe stutter only sealed your faith with packing tape.
Everyone looked at each other, confused probably waiting for Mandy to tell you to scram, but instead, she motioned her hand for you to come in.
âO.M.G you came to my party!! I knew youâd make it around!â Mandy perked up, the other girl moving out the way so you could enter into the room.
The room was nicely decorated, cozy feeling as the theme of pink items recurring often with the pink rug, pink dresses, and pink bed spread covers. There were about 6 people in the roomâit was spacious so it didn't feel like there were as many. Some sat on her bed, some on the floor, and Mandy, the only one sat at her desk, white rolly chair twisting and spinning when she saw how awkward you were when you crossed the threshold of the door.
âWhat do you need me for?â You stood by the door, everyone's eyes feeling like lasers burning into your skin.
âUh I was wondering if you knew where theâŚwater was. I tried looking and asking around, but somebody told me to come to you and ask.â You fiddled with your sleeve, trying to look up instead of letting your head hang to the floor in shameâeyes glued to the plush carpet.
âTheirs some bottles in the bottom of the fridge.â Her voice regular, no hint of annoyance laced through it like you thought it would be. Relief washed over, smiling slightly as you started to back out the room.
âOkay, thank you, I'll get out of your way no-â
âNo, stay.â She was stern, pointing to the red haired girl that was closest to youâthe one that opened the door.
âChristy, go get her some water, and bring back more beer.â She talked sternlyâItâs like they were her assistants, and they listened obligingly Christy left the room, closing the door behind her to leave now just you, and Mandy's other friends in the room as you stood awkwardly by the closed door.
Everyone returned to normal, while Mandy focused all her attention onto you.
âWhy are you still standing there? I let you stay for a reason.â
âA reason, what kinda reasonâŚ?â You wanted to question her, but it felt as if you were already on thin iceâso you didnât bother to push it.
There was an empty spot on the bed, but immediately when you sat, the girl beside you chuckled, turning away from her friend to look at you.
You recognized her just by her hair. It was Angie, dressed in a nurse costume with the same usual braided pigtails she always has.
âAre you Mandyâs friend? Not that Iâm asking for me, itâs for my-âŚfriend!â The girl beside her, dressed as Strawberry Shortcake jabbed her side, clearly not wanting whatever she said to be perceived as true.
âIâm notâŚshe just invited me to her party earlier. And I stumbled upon this on accident really I just wanted some wa-â
âOh cut the bullshit.â Her words cut through, tone nasty laced with malice, and the annoyance you thought would be present in Mandyâs.
But I guess the anger transferred.
âYou heard me. I donât know what you think this is, but youâre not friends with Mandy. She invited everybody to her party, so a personal invite doesnât me shit.â
Every word she spoke, the more you wanted to get up and walk out. Clearly you werenât welcome, might as well leave before someone gets territorial.
âAngieâŚWho the hell said I was your friend?â Gasps, everyone looked around, but Angie looked dead center at Mandyâabsolutely bewildered.
âYou did! You let me into the cheer squad, and I-I sit next to you in class everyday.â Angie tried to reason with herâbut it didnât feel like there was a point in trying.
âI only do that so I can cheat off you.â Mandyâs voice was deadpan almost, flat and also snarky in tone as she watched Angie freeze, before breaking away from the fact her heart dropped to the bottom of her stomach.
âYou-âŚYouâre serious?â Itâs almost like she couldn't believe it herself, her face showing the disbelief all through.
âYes bitch Iâm serious. Now stop treating my new guest here like this before I kick your ass out. How about you make yourself useful and find the people I want to play our next game.â Mandy stood up, pointing towards the door as Angie slowly stood up, not even attempting to defy her.
The room was still, only for a little bit before everyone started chatting againâbut a question popped into your mind. You turned to the girl, Angieâs friend, talking lowly below your breath.
âWaitâŚwhat game is she talking aboutâŚ?â The girl kept facing forward, the question falling on deaf ears even though the girl was only a few feet away.
âSheâs really ignoring meâŚ.maybe this is my cue to LEAVE.â You tried standing upâaccept defeat in trying to make amends with anybody in the room. But as soon as she tried to make your escape, a rough hand dragged you back down to the bed, not letting go until you scooted closer to the source.
âWhat was that for?? You were just ignoring me.â You whisper yelled, not trying to cause a commotion that she seemed to want to start.
âI wasn't ignoring you, I didn't hear you!â she said, whisper yelling also.
âYou canât be seriousâŚâ Your eyes rolled so hard they could probably fall out of socket.
âYea sureâ you said, disbelief lacing though your toneâbut the girl's face was stone cold.
âIâm serious, nobody around here addresses me, they only like me when Angie's around! I didn't t-think youâd notice me.â Her voice wavered, fiddling with her fingers as she spoke.
âAnd you still hang around them?! Why donât you just find new people?â
âI donât wanna talk about that right now, I already tried, but they needed more players for her gameâŚso here I am.â You would try and help her, but the more your irritation grewâquestion unanswered, you could care less. If she wants to live in somebodyâs shadow to be close to Mandy, thatâs none of your business.
âOkay thatâs cool, well not really cool but that still doesn't answer my questionâŚ.What game is she talking about.â Itâs like the question finally registered in her mind, like the memory card slot was just put in to let it run its system.
âO-Oh yea that. Mandy wanted to play spin the bottle, but she said there were too many girls here. She screamed that she doesn't want to be a âlesbianâ, so instead of that, she wanted to play 7 minutes in heaven instead.â She paused, now finally looking at youâeyes wide with dilated pupils.
âDo you still wanna play? You can always leave, Mandy wonât be madâŚI think.â
âSo what happens if I do leave?â
âYou canât.â The voice came from across the room, finally recognizing it as Mandy, eavesdropping. Your heart dropped, and you could see the girl next to your face go pale, probably feeling the same thing you did.
âNo, I mean you can leave, but I want you to stay (Y/n).â
âMeâŚwhy me?â you said, eyebrows furrowed and the scarcity of anticipation lacing through you.
âBecause, I think youâll like our new guests that will be joining us. I donât want to keep them waiting.â Just as she said this, the door opened, as if she were perfectly on cue in a directed play. The first person to walk in you recognized was Chadâwearing his boxing gear, arms crossed immediately observing the room tentatively.
âI didnât even want to go to this stupid partyâbut my father suggested I socialize with common folk.â He spoke with poise, talking to particularly nobody as he stopped to lean against the wall.
âYour house isn't half bad Mandy, you know, for a civilian.â It sounded like an attempt at a compliment, but it clearly didnât land that way. Mandy rolled her eyes at the backhanded statement, an annoyed sigh escaping her lips
âOh my gosh Angie, you couldn't find anybody better?â
âI have other boys, like you asked me for. How about you try forcing a drunk man up the stairs.â Angie moved to the side as the next boy walked through.
And low and behold, it was Trent, a smile growing on his face as soon as he saw you.
âHey (Y/n), we still on for our date later!?â He screamed, his voice carrying across the entire room as he pointed towards you. A loud eruption spread, Angie laughing the hardestâneeding to make a statement. You buried your head into your hands, preparing to hear whatever insult was going to come your way.
âYou want to go out on a date with Trent?? I didnât know you were that much of a slut!â Gasps were heard across the room, everyone talking amongst themselves.
But the room got even louder when Mandy shot up, stomping towards Angie to smack her clean across the face. You lifted your head up from your hands, hearing the sound bounce off the walls to confirm what you heard was true.
âThis canât be fucking real.â Angie held her cheek, seeing droplets of tears threatening to fall onto her reddened cheek.
âIf anybodyâs a slut it would be you! Youâre a whore and you just blew the second chance I gave you. Get your ass out of my house!â
âBut nothing you fucking pig, GET OUT!!â She pushed Angie, and thatâs when her tears finally came. She sobbed, running away down the long hallway, bumping into Christy who just came up the stairs.
The girl next to you looked scaredâ immediately jumping up and smoothing out her dress.
âI have to goâŚsorry I canât leave my friend alone like that.â Her eyes darted across the room, everyone laughing at her friend and side eying her when she stood up. She was nervous, it was obvious she felt see-through when Angie wasn't around. But her fantasies thoughts translated over when nobody acknowledged her, or ever attempted to speak when she ran out.
âAre you okay (Y/n)?â Mandy walked over to you, sitting next to you on the bed as everybody's voices dropped, clearly wanting to ease-drop on your imposing answer.
âIâm fineâŚIâm fine.â Your head hung low, looking to the floor in solemnâbut it seems Trent still couldn't catch the memo.
âBut what about our date? You never said yes!â You sighed, realizing you were gonna have to reject him in front of everybodyâlet the embarrassment come over you even more than it has.
But you heard a voice, one all too familiar you wish you didn't recognize.
âDate, how the hell did you land a date?â There stood the one person thatâs been avoiding you, oil to water never mixing no matter what you do.
âI found him on my way back, you needed more boys to play, so I got you one.â Christy stood with the bottles of beer in her arms, and your waterâthe whole entire reason youâre staring into the face of Jimmy Hopkins, wearing a ghost face costume. Black cloak with his mask sitting on the side of his head.
âAh, perfect! Thatâs just who I needed.â Mandy stood up from the bed, walking over to drag Jimmy into the room, slamming the door behind her.
âGreat, now we can start our game, everybody on the floor and make a circle!â Mostly everyone followed her, but it felt as if you were being weighted downâdumbbells glued to your feet preventing you from getting up.
Jimmy hasn't noticed youâŚor at least acknowledged you yet, and youâll try your best to keep it that way.
âI think Iâd rather not sit on the floor, can I stand?â Chad asked Mandy, his arms still crossed looking around in disgust as he sees people forming the circle on the carpeted floor.
âUgh fine! Just stand in your spot.â Mandy waved her hand off, Chad obliging and moving into the open spot.
âHeres your water, sorry it took so long.â Christy stood over you, tossing the water onto the bed and going right into her positioned spot. Immediately you snatched the bottle, drinking the water's content feeling your cotton mouth disappear with each sip.
Closing the cap on the bottle, you held it tight, looking around in the circle to find a spot.
But low and behold, the only open spot was the one where Jimmy was standing. He has the same facial expression as always before. But it was clear as day.
âCome on (Y/n), I didnât do all of that shit just for you not to play.â You felt the tug of Mandy's arm, pulling you up to your feet and making you walk in shame, all the way to your designated spot right next to Jimmy.
Itâs like you didn't exist to himâinvisible, looking right through simply because he couldn't face it. He couldn't face himselfâtalk to you in a casual manner without the guilt eating him up on the inside, and the anguish you feel when you see how much he pretends not to care.
âOkay, is everybody ready?â Mandy sat in the middle, all eyes on her and she spun the empty beer bottleâplaying around and testing it before the real show.
âUm you never said what game weâre playing. What is this spin the bottle?â This was the first time youâve seen Jimmy up close in a long time, and hear his voice; the slight pitch-ness of it, and the rasp that sat in the back of his throat with certain words.
You missed him, everything about him. But you knew for a factual matterâthat he didnât miss you.
âNo this isn't spin the bottle, I'm not a lesbian. WhichâŚitâs totally fine if you are one I guess, buttt weâre playing 7 minutes in heaven!â Everyone cheered, thrilled to be a part of such a wrenched game.
âMore like 7 minutes in hell.â
Okay if weâre all ready, letâs give her a spin!â Mandy spun the bottle, jumping back into her spot to let it spin. The anticipation was nauseating, watching it skip past you, slow down ever so surly so close to you, but thankfully landing on Chad.
âFirst go? Is your closet big? I'll need space to rest for my elapsed time.â It seemed like a genuine question, but most of the girls snickered, looking at Chadâs stiff demeanor as Mandy reached out to spin the bottle again.
âNo, the closet isn't big, thatâs the point of the game dummy!â One of the girls yelped out, laughing when she saw his deepened expression.
âI am not dumb! I'll have you knowing Iâm way smarter than youâll ever be in your entire life!â He scoffed, looking away the exact moment the bottle stopped, landing right on one of Mandy's friends.
âOur first pairing isss Chad and Leslie!â The bottle landed right onto the girl that insulted him. He scoffed, walking away as Mandy led him to the closet, Leslie skipping along with him.
âIâm gonna need you to stand far away, I donât want a poor commoner's disease.â Chad walked into the closetâabiding by his order and standing in the farthest back part of the closet.
âOh please, the only way youâll be getting sick today is by swapping spit with me.â Mandy quickly shut the door, standing guard by the door as the room erupted with laughterâand you were a part of the group this time.
Everyone talked, low enough to hear if anything was happening as the time passed. But the end of their scheduled time came quick. Mandy knocked on the door, it flinging open right after as Leslie stumbled out first, Chad following behind moving slowly back to his spot.
But instead of standing up, he sat down on the carpetâand immediately everyone started to ask questions.
âWhat happened in there Leslieeee?â Her friends huddled around, looking at her as her face turned into a scorching shade of pink.
âOh n-nothing happened. I promise.â
âOh my gosh youâre such a liar! Just tell us!â One of them pushed her, jokingly making her curl into herself more than before.
âAlright guys stop bothering her, we gotta pick for the next round.â Everyone scooted back to their respected spotsâMandy leaning forward to spin the bottle again, watching the brown stained glass material spin in the circle.
It started to slow down, and that same anticipating anxiety came back, seeing it slowly spin past you over and over againâeyes shining off the bottle as you were practically glued to it.
But it slowed down, slowed down and unfortunately, landed on you.
âOkayâŚletâs hope I donât get anyone bad.â You mumbled this, Mandy spinning the bottle again and everyone watching with anticipation.
It was obvious you targeted your statement towards Jimmyâbut he didnât catch on.
Or heâs really good at ignoring your ques, which wouldn't be the first time.
âAlright and your partner issssâ Mandy said, the bottle slowing down.
It was close, so close to you, your heart thumped, as the bottle projectile seemed to slow down on you. But you could never get off that easy.
âJimmy, YES this is what I was hoping for!â Mandy exacerbatedâbut you couldn't be more of the opposite.
âThat doesn't like it landed on Jimmy, i-it landed on me Mandy look.â you said, pointing towards the bottle, right in the gaps between you and Jimmy. You couldn't look at him, see his reaction to being paired up with you for one of the most intimate things that could possibly happen.
âWell you canât go in there by yourself, and you canât re-spin, so your partner is Jimmy!â Mandy stood up, walking towards the closet opening the door welcoming the two of you inâbut you both stayed frozen, super glued to the floor with every part of your body.
âOh come on (Y/n), isn't this what you wanted? You love Jimmy-â
âI donât love him you piece of shit.â Oops, too much. Your hands flew over your mouth, stopping yourself and realizing what you saidâyour brain mentally beating itself up for translating your thoughtsâŚinto live action words..
âOh! So IâM the piece of shit because youâre having boy problems? Is that what it is?!â Your lips were sealed in a tight line, everyone not moving, to see Mandy stalk over back to where both you and Jimmy sat, feeling her radiating presence from behindâso hot it could probably melt the earth's surface..
âOkay Mandy you know she didn't mean it-â Mandy slapped the back of Jimmyâs head, his sharp edged mask digging into his head making him lean forward in pain as she grabbed you up by pinching your ear, the same way a mother would when their child misbehaved in a grocery store.
âShut up Jimmy! She can explain herself, I don't need her boy toy to talk for her.â She continued to drag you, ear hot not letting go until you made it into the closet. Jimmy followed, stepping into the closet with you.
âNo Jimmy get out-â You tried to help, but Mandy slammed the door, the sound echoing in the narrow dark space, your fate officially sealed for the next 7 minutes.
Or unfortunately this time, an undisposed amount of time
âSince you think I'm a piece of shit, you're not coming out until I SAY SO!!â She screamed, stomping away from the closed door. You tried to push the door openârun and try to barricade your way out, but Jimmy grabbed you.
âSo I'm just gonna keep getting manhandled todayâŚâ
âYa know, you should learn how to watch your mouth. Now weâre stuck in here because of you.â He pulled you away from the door, forcefully just enough before you pushed him off, flipping around towards him.
âWowww thanks for stating the obvious, not like I didn't pick up on that already.â Even in the dark, you could see his expression changeâbody language shifting ever so slightly with annoyance.
Your brain wanted to fightâscream until your throat was raw and scratchy.
âAndddd I have a great plan on how we can kill time.â Sarcasm enabled your tone, a smile pressing onto your face as you inched closer to Jimmy.
âWhy donât we address the elephant in the room while we're stuck in here. Whatâdya say?!â You punched his arm, jokingly as he filched at your outburst.
âWhatâs the big deal?! Why are you so angry?!â Genuine confusion, eyebrows furrowed as the anger rose within youâ more and more as Jimmy continued to act dense.
Maybe he was acting, or genuinely confused on why you came at him head on. Anyone with basic emotion comprehending skills would've been able to figure it out.
But Jimmy lacks itâhis reaction right after it happened showing it all.
âOh I donât know! Maybe the fact you kissed Zoe, and pretended it didn't happen by avoiding me.â You were like a soda canâshaken with pressure building up, and exploding when the can cracks open.
Thatâs how itâs been all day, bottling up every single emotion, letting it all bubble deep within. And Jimmy had been the one to make it all spill over.
âI wasnât avoiding you, didnât even know that it was you that screamed until just now!â It seems your anger had transferred over to him. He stepped forward, but you pushed him back again, this time tripping and falling into a pile of clothes.
âYouâre a LIAR, I saw your face! You were all lovey dovey with Zoe, and only flinched when I caught you!â Your finger pointed in his faceâwaving around as he felt himself sink deeper into the soft pile. His head tilted up, feeling his face slowly slipping off his head, not daring to break whatever eye contact he had on you to fix it.
âThat wasnât planned! I wanted to talk to you about something important, but then Zoe just came up to me and started making out with me.â He paused, pulling himself up from the pile by grabbing onto the shelf above him.
âIt was wrong, I knew it, believe me.â His tone was genuine, but you couldn't stand it, hear his voice as he tried to make amends.
He only did it, because you asked him to. Who knows how long he would've avoided you if it weren't for forced proximity.
âYouâre lying youâre lying youâre lying.â Mutters below your breath, feeling like confirmations to your own self and well being. Maybe repeating what you donât want, would make what you really want come true. Nature is weird like that sometimes.
But you paced, back and forth somehow in the small space, hands covering your ears continuing to repeat the phrase. Jimmy watched, impulsive grabbing you, your arms falling from over your ears as he gripped your shoulders, staring into the cesspool of your eyes that opened a portal to your real emotions.
âIâm not lying, just please, let me speak.â His fingers dug into your shoulder, another exclamation to his words. You could feel it, his growing heart rate, or was it yours? The diluted state of mind reaching your senses.
You couldn't let him speak, not when you had so many questions.
âWhat did-...What did you want to tell me that day?â Voice low, your breath fanning onto Jimmyâs face, but you could see him tense upâfeel it with his grip on your shoulder.
Silence, the only response he gave. Jimmyâs eyes highlighted in your vision, darting from each corner of the room purposely avoiding looking at you directly.
âYouâre about to lie again.â you said, your abrupt statement dragging him back to reality, he stopped moving, as still as a marble statue.
âHow do you know th-â
âYou canât look me in the eye.â You pulled back, taking his arms from your shoulders and pushing the closet door open, not even bothering to look at everyone's shocked expression as you ran out the room. Jimmy though, did stop, seeing Mandy shaking her head with her arms crossed.
âYouâre a real asshole Jimmy, must be a match made in heaven.â She laughed, everyone else snickering sitting close to the door.
They were ease droppingâŚThey didnât even try to hide it.
âIâm not an asshole, I just need to talk to her!â He screamed, Mandy not phased one bit still going back and forth.
âOh yea? Then why aren't you chasing after her? Real men chase after their women, not sitting here gossiping about them.â This scene, it felt all too familiar to him, dĂŠjĂ vu. He had to clear his head, shaking his thoughts away to finally stand up for himself
âThis isnât gossip and you know that! I love her.â
âLove?? Strong word for such a shallow relationship.â It was a strong word, so strong he couldn't even say it. Not when he always wanted toâevery private moment aching for the chance to tell you how he really feels.
He always wants to try his bestâbe everything for you and the moon and back. Every step the two of you take forward, he always manages to drag you backâback to the beginning, a tired, redundant start that always ends badly.
âStopping all of the kissing random girls thing wasn't gonna just do it Jimmy. Maybe you should learn how to communicateâthen thatâll solve some things.â The whole room busted into a fit of laughter, prompting Jimmy to finally take the vow and walk out.
This was another bad ending, another story in the book on how you ran away, pushing through the tight crowd to leave the house, making it to the grass, feeling all the memories flow to a night.
A night just like this one.
âGo out and have fun tonight, try and make friends with the neighboring kids.â Your mom said, looking at you in your costume, scared out of your mind ready to run into the house again.
âBut mom, the kids are mean! They wonât like me.â You tried walking back into the house, but she guarded the door, pushing you back gently while holding the large candy bowl in her arm.
âIâm sure they aren't that bad, maybe try being nicer.â
âBut I am nice!â Reasoning wasn't gonna work, she was dead set head on not watching you tonight.
Even though she used to be the strictest parent you knew when it came to night time activities.
âI have to watch your brother-â A newborn cried out, your mom immediately placing the candy bowl down and closing the screen door.â
âHave funâ was heard muffled through the door, right before she locked the second door, leaving you outsideâno way back in unless she were to let you.
7th grade was rough, and it probably was for a lot of people, puberty was the main root of everyone's unstable emotional regulation system.
It was worse for youâmoving to a brand new home, going to a home where almost everybody had an established friend group. And the people that didnât, looked at you crazy whenever you tried talking to them.
âIâll find some friends, just you wait!â You skipped away, now standing in the driveway.
âAnd fuck you, I am nice.â In edgy middle school fashion, you stuck up with middle finger, flipping around gracefully like they were actually watching from the houseâmarching down the sidewalk to the first house next door.
The night started off smoothâjust you, walking alone door to door getting candy. Though, the crowds started to pick up, the streets packed with people, groups of friends you wished you could be a part of, people you wish you could talk to.
Invisible, see through to everyone around you because youâre not on their level.
âI wish we never moved! This town sucks.â You kicked a rock, hard enough to the point it angled up, hitting the back of the person's leg in front of you. Your heart dropped, realizing your mistake you instinctively prepared yourself to apologize, but stopped when you saw who it was that turned around.
It was the same boy, the same group of people that sat in the back of your class, and the ones that absolutely embarrassed you on your first day. They laughed at your introduction, and have never left you alone since.
âOh look guys.â He stopped, making the rest of his group turn around to look.
âItâs our friendddd. Isnât that right?!â He pushed your shoulder, laughing boastfully as you looked at him, everyone else looking just as surprised as you did.
âYou-...You wanna be friends?â Your whole demeaned lightened, seeing his dis-genuine smile as he nodded. Maybe heâs turned a new leaf, maybe heâs realized how nice you were, you just had to be nicer!
âYeaaa friends!â While he dragged out his words, you could faintly hear his friends talking behind him. He turned around, face dropping to shush them, face snapping back to his disingenuous smile.
âYou got a lot of candy there, how many houses did you go to?â He touched the bag, looking back again snickering, your own self oblivious to his ulterior motives.
âOh I went to a lot! My mom doesn't want me in the house, so I decided to stay out longer. How long have you guys-â You were happy, so happy somebody finally decided to have a conversation with you.
But that happiness was ripped away, the same way your bag of candy was ripped away from your grip, stray pieces spilling on the concrete from the force of the action.
You tried reaching out to take his bag, but he threw it to another one of his friends, blocking your way when you tried to reach him.
âWhyâd you take my bag?! Give it back!â You tried running around him, but he was fast, fast enough to catch you and push you back.
âYouâre my friend right? Friends help each other out.â
âNo they donâtâŚâ Your eyes were moist, but you couldnât let the tears fall, not in front of him, his whole group that would ridicule you to no end.
âHow would you know? Itâs not like you had friends to tell you.â You couldn't take it, feeling your throat burn as the tears fell, soaking your cheeks. You had to choke back a sob, but all of them heard, and they all laughedâholding your bag out to taunt.
âAwww you want your bag back? You wanna know how to get it back?â You tried reaching out for it, but they pulled back, laughing harder than before.
âEver since you moved here I've hated you. Youâre so weak, easy to manipulate, and thatâs what pisses me off.â He paused, grabbing you, preventing you from fleeing, getting away with the little sliver of life you had inside you.
âStop being a nuisance to this school, and maybe I'll consider giving you your bag backâif i haven't eaten all of the candy yet.â You couldn't do itâhold back from the violent sobs that poured from you. He pushed you away, hard enough you stumbled backwards, skidding on the sidewalk and ripping a part off your costume.
You couldn't do anything, fight back, retaliate.
Because it was you, against the whole school, who would they want to side with more? The person who they know better, or some random girl from out of town who hasn't been here for more then 3 months.
It was an easy decision, you knew that. But someone had to break the odds.
She didn't fight back, or scream and yell and try to defend you, it was just a girl, walking up and helping you to your feetâtissue dabbing away your tears and snotty nose.
âWhat happened to youâŚ?â Her voice was soft, looking you in the eye as she continued to wipe your face. You couldn't yourself to say it, your lips balling at you sniffled.
âYou donât have to tell me, itâs fine. But I can probably guess it had to do with those assholes who just left.â You nodded your head, her doing the same now understanding your situation.
âO-Oh your costumes ripped.â She noticed the giant rip, quickly taking off her coat to cover you. The coat was heavy, lined with soft faux fur all throughout. You snuggled into the coat, feeling yourself warm up.
Comfort, finally feeling safe.
âTake this, just give it back to me at school tomorrow.â Your brain was scrambled, but only the last phrase could drag you out of your shocked nervous system state.
âWaitâŚyou go to my school?â
âYea, I'm in your homeroom classâŚwhich you're never really in.â That part, was pretty true. Your mom always dropped you off late, so it was routine almost every morning to receive a late pass to enter your first period.
âWhatâs your nameâŚ?â
âMaya.â She took your hand, holding it close as she guided you the opposite direction of where the group marched off to.
âItâs good I found you while I did. Iâll take you home.â You didn't object, usually you wouldnât let somebody do charity work for you.
But this time, it didnât feel like charity work. Maybe youâve just found somebody that values you.
Make you feel like you matter.
Notes, again: I lowkwy realized mid way writing Garyâs costume, he kinda dressed like Remmick, so now that image is stuck in my head. If anyone can see my vision, HEAR ME OUTâŚdraw it. If you do, my life is yours.
