Depression. Anxiety. Mental illnesses.
Why don’t people want to talk about them? Why are they secrets? Are they practically treated as horrible atrocities that people are afraid of? Do we want to make people feel like they’re less than, like they aren’t allowed to show themselves, their true selves, like they can’t be who they really are? I feel like I put on a facade every time I go outside. Then I wonder, why am I doing this? Because I’m afraid. I am actually afraid to show myself. I don’t want people to think that I’m weak, that I have any issues. Are they issues? Flaws? I know I’m not the only one, but I feel like it sometimes. But then I look around at all the other 8 billion people in the world, and I feel tiny, so insignificant, and maybe I really don’t matter. But there has to be other people out there like this, we’re all just hiding. I’ve been stuck in this stagnant depression for so long now that I don’t even know what it feels like to be truly happy, what it feels like to have fun without the fear of knowing that afterwards, I’m just going to return to my numb, empty darkness. Tell me, what does happy feel like?
