Natasha-Vip

The apartment is a four story brand new building that sits on a corner . There are two very expensive liquor stores on each side of us, and a pizza place across the street. Everything else is abandoned.

The fire alarm for the building is always going off and a few people have passed away. Close friends. Everyone is always asking for cigarettes, weed money etc . No its not an apartment building full of dirty old men. Its actually very normal people. All different ethnicities, some families, single mothers and babys. People of all ages and backgrounds. All of us who have been ostrasized by our communities and families, left to die on the street and fight for our lives. We have case managers on site, but they just relax in their office's. It can still get pretty wild over here but all of us have been pre screened to ensure that we are capable of long term stability and independance. We have all lived here for a year and a half now( the majority that made it this far. ) and im proud that pretty much all of us are still stable and housed . This shows me that most people who are unhoused are not unhoused because of mental health issues but because of Issues within the family or community & widespread narcissistic behavior of people with self appointed status and their self centered intentions. Gaslighting and narrcism, Or outcasting a person onto the streets should be punishable with prison time.

Well im proud to say we made it till today and for that we are blessed. Thank Magic, All universes, god, matter and existence.

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: One of my rules is "no kissing ". Its risky, hard to price, and Im still heart broken over my ex.

For a while, it was hard to even take a date. When i slept with someone, it would make me physically ill. I attributed it to loving this past person more than anything in the world. And it was true, I did. I refused to consider dating other people. I still refuse to accept defeat. It hurts majorly, but I know that he was and is the greatest love of my life. Waiting for his return isnt an option, it just is the only way. Im not obsessed - Im stubborn and i know what i want.

Quite a few clients have asked for me to kiss them. But im not here to cater to their every need. I provide a service, and if thats not enough then, they should get a girlfriend.

Tonight, a new regular client who is 19, got me to break my rule somehow. Unfortunately I again found myself thinking about my past and feeling sick to my stomach with each kiss. It felt like inwas betraying myself and my ex even though its literally been five years.

Boundaries and knowing oneself is really important when you share your body for a living. Plus keeping special things for that one special person still means a lot to me.

I may be an escort, but if i could would be his wifey ( any kind of his liking ) whos never even had anyone else lay a hand on her.

So no more kissing until I get what i want and know I deserve. Here's to hoping, dreaming, and manifesting .... signed one stubborn yet patient romantic.

(No emo) but I am addicted to the creepiness that I often find floating around me. The inner knowing that something dark is happening. Its not the best state of mind to live in, yet i am starting to love drowning myself in it.

It makes my stomach drop as if i were not sober. I usually wake up and wonder whether this is hell and heaven on earth or are we alive. And not because I think im dead, but because my life has been so mysteriously magical, that My brain thinks " isnt this only possible in some sort of an after life situation"

For example..... My bed was moving so much by itself for the last few months that i have now gotten over the jumping off frightened stage and now assume i cuddle with an invisible bed dwelling alien/ vampire....😶 weird, but never the less a possibility