Smaugust day 5 - "Small."
Very, very small.
Combined my love of dragons with my love of cell biology and sciart for this one!

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@nelkat
Smaugust day 5 - "Small."
Very, very small.
Combined my love of dragons with my love of cell biology and sciart for this one!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I have a new theory which has resulted from me writing porn on my phone which im certain is old hat to everyone but is new to me
it kinda goes like this
basically, as a person or community writes a kinky story for longer, they will kind of inevitably move up a chain of 'paradigms of justification' required to make the kink continue to make sense.
the pace will vary depending on the kink, but motion is inevitable.
---
so say you decide to write some rope bondage kink. as you continue to write, you are likely to progress through the stages as follows:
Stage 0 - Baseline: i am writing A tying up B, because i want to, A wants to, and B is into it (or isn't, depending on what kinda freak you are). Regular fic goes here.
Stage 1 - Psychological: Why is does A like tying up B? Why does B like being tied up? Normal character stuff. Not yet weird. You're still normal. If you mom found out you were writing this, she'd probably still love you.
Stage 2 - Logistical: How does A afford all those rope? Why hasn't B's hands fallen off from lack of circulation? Getting odd you'd write about this, but fair enough, real kinksters deal with this. You just like to pay attention to details.
Stage 3 - Sociological: You have written the kink long enough that you need it to be normalized in-universe in order to push the envelope. You need a Federal Department of Kinky Shit Why has nobody called the cops when B goes missing for three days due to the suspension bondage setup you researched for two hours last night? Did you just invent a law so its okay for A to tie up the pizza delivery guy? Why is it not a violation of the labour code that B spends all her time literally tied to her desk? This is where the descent into madness begins. You have total freedom now to introduce new characters, but they will probably end up being A-like and B-like because that's your kink and why you started writing in the first place. People laugh when they see the premise, but keep reading.
Stage 4 - Biological: Oh, now you fucked up. See, eventually, you're going to start wondering why the world is filled with people like A and B. You're going to need to answer definitively why B didn't fucking die when you accidentally wrote a poorly conceived stress position in chapter 2. You gotta answer why there's only like 1 A for every 10 Bs. You realize with horror you accidentally implied that shibari harnesses is literally a biological requirement for human reproduction. It's over for you. This is ABO with extra steps. Get thee to a nunnery.
Stage 5 - Synthesis: "Oh fuck, it all makes sense now." Terminal brain stoppage. Death would be a mercy. ---
The thing is, once you have progressed through these stages, you are going to skip ahead in future stories because, let's face it, its incredibly convenient to have these structures laid out for you. If you've gotten to Stage 3 in a previous fic and then start a new one, well, you could fuck around justifying what's going on, or you could simply bring back the Federal Department of Kinky Shit and jump straight to the silk cord. It's efficient and we're all busy people.
I ended up following this trajectory with my first set of Porn On Phone stories pretty closely:
Hot lady am sexy kidnaps!
But why am hot lady sexy kidnap?
How am hot lady afford lavish lifestyle for sexy kidnapee?
Why am nobody arrest hot lady for sexy kidnap?
am reason related to why am no men in stories?
characters am now exclaim 'judith christ!' when stub toe.
Terminal. Put me down like the dog I am.
But the dark realization I had, right about now, is that all the normie fics out there, all the boring straight stuff?
... yeah they're already at Stage 5. The straights are living at stage 5, patriarchy is their Federal Department of Kinky Shit, they believe in alphas and omegas already.
So, put that way, it's actually totally normal and okay to do this progression, right? Like, it's subversive. This is feminist! This is feminist! I scream, as I'm dragged into the van and driven down to the river to be drowned like an unwanted kitten. I'm the normal one! You're all mad!
anyway i started writing a star trek porn parody in an attempt to write 'normal' porn again, hit stage five within 3000 words, had a mental breakdown, and came here to write this.
KICK THE CAN!
Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.
To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.
the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now
And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!
A small update on the grubbies: they are now extra beepy and have fur!
I like your popcorn
These are some fuzzy looking frogs

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A small arrangement of objects on this foggy autumn morning.
The full saga of Margie and the Nuns (so far). Realised I never compiled these in one place.! Also, bonus Margies!
The author's poorly disguised fetish
The author's proudly displayed fetish
The author's fetish you're pretty sure they don't realise they have
The author's fetish which they're firmly convinced everyone has and is just pretending otherwise
The author's non-sexual special interest which just sounds like a fetish because of their habitually unfortunate phrasing
The fetish the author is making a well-meaning effort to cater to in spite of clearly not understanding it themselves
The author's fetish that never quite makes it into the text because they keep getting sidetracked by the requisite worldbuilding
The author's utterly pedestrian sexual preference which the text treats like a bizarre fetish because they've got shit to work through
The author's seemingly innocuous recurring trope they're going to have a personal revelation about ten years down the road
The author's fetish you missed on a first reading because it's so far out of pocket, it never occurred to you that you could sexualise that
shapely sugar bowl
The Star and Two of Cups
You need a spa day and a date night.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Gideon the Ninth movie finishes, curtains close, and the music over the aftercredits is a somber cover of Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up
Frined: says something about being scared of getting stalked and murdered
Me: man, what a dream
Friend: getting stalked and murdered????
Me: yeah :)
Friend: ???????????
Me: don’t worry about my kinks
@nelkat
Look, all I'm saying is that if you've ever spent 1am huddling in a ditch with your party while the forest around you was haunted by things with glowing eyes and enormous claws, you may end up chasing that high in other contexts.
Pomegranate Wedding Gift Box, EranaDesign
A limerick. Based on a true story.
Honestly, if you see an angel that’s all eyes and wings and wheels of fire, you should be worried. Like, not because it’s going to hurt you or anything, but because scripturally, angels invariably appear to ordinary people in human form. In general, they only show their inhuman true forms to prophets – which means if you’re seeing them like that, they come bearing responsibility.
Me: [opens door]
Wheels upon wheels, eyes of flame, the roar of a thousand wingbeats: BE NOT-
Me: nope [closes door]
Bearer of the throne of heavenly God, through door: YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO-
Me: I don’t live here
Celestially Ordained Mover of the Unmoved: I CAN SEE YOU-
Me: fuck off!

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(Share it, sing it, tweet it, quote it, my songs that are public on my feed here are all shareable.) SONG: THE BLACKTHORN BLOOMS I've no m
SONG: THE BLACKTHORN BLOOMS
By Talis Kimberley-Fairbourn
I've no magic words here
No dice left the throw
But the seeds that I've planted
Are willing to grow
We're all feeling hopeless -
Disaster looms.
But still the bread rises
And the blackthorn blooms.
Here's fury and fear
Here's stunned disbelief
That we could lose so much
Our own leaders turned thief
I get that you're numb
I get that you're tired
We had a ticket to the future
But the future's expired
I've no magic words...
They've played us as pawns
They've played us for fools
They want us divided
And to make us cruel
So kindness is sacred
It's a choice, it's an art
It's an act of resistance
From the breaking of heart:
Can you carry a song?
Can you carry a light?
We did not deserve this
And it isn't alright
We're all feeling hopeless
Amidst the lies
But the blackthorn is blooming
And the bread will rise
I've no magic words
No dice left to throw
But the seeds that I planted
Are going to grow
I know we feel hopeless -
Disaster looms
But still the bread rises
Still the bread rises
Still the bread rises
And the blackthorn blooms.
_______________________________
Words & music by & (c) Talis Kimberley, 21st March 2019.
Oh hi Talis, fancy seeing you here. It's always fascinating to suddenly find these threads spanning between strangers <3