take me away

I made a huge mistake. I was horny when I got home from work so I figured before my fiance and his son got home I'd take care of myself. Issue is now I'm fucking tired as shit and can't nap 🙄

I need to start lifting weights again, I've lost 52 pounds recently and due to this new med (not a weight loss med, just getting my thyroid in check finally) I'm on it seems to be a half a pound a day still. While losing weight isn't the issue, I don't want the weight loss to affect my muscles. I've always been stronger than people think I am. I just am not sure how to get my ass to do the thing.

Tonight I didn't want you to leave bed. I know you got to work and stuff, but I just wanted to cuddle up in our bed and laugh until the sun came up. You said to tell you what I wanted and I told you I can't. You told me that I am allowed to have wants and needs, and while yes that's true, I will not be the type of person who stops you from working because I just wanna cuddle. You would never ask me to stay home from work, why do you expect different treatment? Because you work from home??

My fiance keeps calling me a 'chaos goblin' and I keep pushing back. And as he goes to put the dog out to go to the bathroom he turns around and says "I can smell your pheromones, I know what you're doing"

I got my period this week, and have been super super emotional and have horrible cramps. A lot of midol and a lot of crying over pretty much absolutely nothing. I don't like showering because the water on my skin is a sensory issue I have so getting myself to shower is a chore. I had to shower before I leave for vacation tomorrow. So my man decided to get in the shower with me and wash my hair and body for me so it didn't have to be this huge ordeal. I am a very very independent person, I have a hard time asking for help and I'm not great at intimate things that are outwardly sexual. But that is probably the most intimate thing I've ever fucking done.

Babe left at 12:30 last night. Went to work today, got home, did chores, "when I get done I'm gonna lay in bed and watch some TV", lays down, "I wonder if babe wants to talk on the phone after being with me for 3 days"...

My co-workers one year wedding anniversary is today, they just did a signing of the documents in their kitchen. Nothing fancy. I got them a little gift when they got married. I've known her for 4 years now. Today she posted a picture of her husband saying "happy anniversary" this is the first time I've ever seen a picture of him. I had no idea what he looked like and was afraid to ask because I felt like I should have known by now... She's going to find it absolutely hilarious then I tell her this on Thursday 😂

My head is not a very nice place this week. It's just throwing me all this bullshit, and I'm starting to worry that my insecurities are driving a wedge between us.

My head is not a very nice place this week. It's just throwing me all this bullshit, and I'm starting to worry that my insecurities are driving a wedge between us.

The urge to call out of work and show up at his house, cuddle up in bed, and pass back out again is too real today