It's nice, having them open up to you. I'm feeling sad, though I can't explain it. As it's not about me, but a fictional character.
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@nekoacidea
It's nice, having them open up to you. I'm feeling sad, though I can't explain it. As it's not about me, but a fictional character.

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When science people view 2d objects, that view it while comparing the number of dimensions of their reality and the 2d reality.
With that as basis, they theorized that 2d can become 3d if it's granted another dimension, transforming it too another 3d object.
Imagine this, text inside a book is written in 2 dimension. We as readers see, read, and comprehend that group of 2d words and renact them in our mind as a 3d dimension.
What if 4d existences view us in that way, instead of comparing the dimensions that we have with theirs?
What if 4d existences just view us, read us, and comprehend us. Reenacting what they understood into 4d in their consciousness as well?
Why do I keep making actions that I will later regret?
It's true that I regret it, but its in the past. So I try to forget. This recurring event had closed or broken some of my few connections to people.
I know that they will react negatively, or maybe some hostility from what I have done. And that possible outcome is the reason I regret.
I did not regret for the morality of my actions, i regret for the consequences that will hit me afterwards. The result of this action that will haunt me in the near future.
A future, where I, who made that action, would've forgotten what I did. Would have remembered what was done, and try to once again forget what I've done.
I've known that I've done these actions in the past. And that I keep repeating, as I forget, as I remember, and as I repeat it all again.
A Friendship in a Pandemic
A nice hit from Merryweather Comics
I'm learning so much! Thanks for the post/repost! :)

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I've been told not to be overly negative. But what can I do? That's who I am. I may not be raised with the intention of what I am now, but was raised nonetheless with this result. Maybe they're regretting their actions, while they're parenting me, but they cannot change what I am now. This is a part of me, and telling me to get rid of this, of me, is like telling me to die. Delete yourself, and give us someone normal. Someone that is not like this.
I'm actually over this topic. I've mostly given up, nothing will ever change anyway. I've tried limiting myself on how to express emotions, and they've stopped telling me to die. But from time to time, a dam could overflow. Is it really a sin to live this way? Just because I'm not normal? Just because the people around us are normal?
Unfortunately, I don't know how to delete myself for them. Maybe there's a solution in the future?
I like cats. I like them so much, I want to pet them on the streets. I will look like a fool petting them while wearing something formal, but it doesn't matter. My day is complete with that one petting session.
I like cats. I like them so much I want to own one. Even though my family likes dogs more, and we already have pets in the house.
I love cats. But I can't own one. It's not because we have dogs in the house, or that my family likes dogs more. But because I know in myself, I'm not worthy of one. I know with me as I am, that cat will die. The responsibility of owning one is so overwhelming, that I know I'm going to fail. I'm afraid of the consequences of failing, that I'm okay just watching from afar, sometimes petting them when I see one on the streets.
I like to tell myself, "I regret losing emotions". Even though I know it never happened. It's just a wish I had when I was young, and the reality that i have somewhat changed while growing up. It's nice hearing other people say the same things, while knowing that they're also lying to themselves. You can never lose emotions, as we've always been lost in emotions.
Walking down the dark road alone, no one else around but the feeling of someone watching you. Or was it something? I do not know. It is a scary feeling. I know that people fear the unknown, and that I once thought it was stupid. But now that I am in the same situation, I am feeling stupid and ignorant, that my fear is overwhelmed by another emotion. Pooling up my anger, towards myself, I gather more hateful things in my mind, I add fuel to my rage. And by the time I woke up from my stupor, I am back into the light, at the end of the road where a light post stand. How great is it that we are able to override fear with other emotions. I am learning, and growing by the day, but I never realize it.