random things my professors have said (starters)
Just a bunch of random quotes from my professors during my first semester of college. Enjoy and feel free to make any changes !
âThe heart is a dramatic organ. The bowels are also pretty dramatic.â
âI donât remember why I put that picture of a water slide there.â
âBy that time, youâll have figured out my brain. I havenât yet.â
âWoah, you have big shoes.â
âMake sure you donât take my picture. Iâm copyrighted.â
âWe donât really know what itâs like to be a rat or a pigeon.â
âHello. Welcome to the planet.â
âYou wouldnât be able to tell if your toe fell off in the middle of the night.â
âI know you are a millionaire. I donât want to talk to you.â
âYou donât have a clue.â
âIâve taught you to see the fun in pain.â
âGet rid of the dog mask.â
âI actually think nasty things when I smile.â
âI know you donât want to see me. I donât want to see you too.â
âIâm just making stuff up.â
âThe other day, someone called me nurturing. I was like, âyouâre ruining my reputationâ!â
âI said the exam is NEXT Thursday. Donât scare people.â
âI wasnât drunk, but I was acting like it.â
âAre you glaring at me?â
âI profoundly believe that humans are absurd creatures.â
âItâs my job to embarrass you.â
âWhen I was youngâIâm still young, right?â
âUh oh. [grunt] Iâm okay.â
âIf you solve this, Iâll buy you lunch.â
âIâm going to tell you a story about farts.â
âI know a lot about corn.â
âWow, you are super. *high fives*â
âI didnât do that!â
âI saw you walking past the library, and you looked as though you were lost in thought.â
âIâm glad to see that youâve decided to stay.â
âIn the game, you can die many times. In life, you can die one time.â
âThis is just dessert. Thereâs a banquet coming.â
âWhat do you call it? AÂ âsnakeâ, right?â
âDonât yell at me.â
âImpossible means âI am possibleâ.â
âYouâre completely aroused.â
âThereâs a stop sign. You have to stop.â
âNo one likes to feel pain. Actuallyânever mind, I donât want to ask.â
âDo I sound cynical? Iâm trying to be nice.â
âDude, you wanna compete with Jimmy Hendrix? Fuck you.â
âI donât want to talk to most people. Itâs not a gender thing, please just go away.â
âWeâre making tortillas now.â
âIâm not very nice.â
âBe careful, somebody might beat you up.â
âI can say nice things, but if you remind me, Iâll deny it.â
âThe worldâs fucked.â