Heartofsorrow @neilfresco - Tumblr Blog

Just sold my bike

I hope it goes to someone who loves it the way I couldn't, it deserved more

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Dear God, Im so grateful and thankful for the opportunities that u have created and paved my way all the way thru. I truly believe in you but i am not sure how to return back the help. Guide me god, I'm emotional right now just by the extraordinary life that u have given to me and the realization has hit me, I love my mom and I cannot say thank you enough for everything. Love u a fellow individual

I think the only time i write is when u come around after saying goodbyes and letting u go from my life You come back with a simple Hi,

And all those memories rushes back in like a train.

Everything is back to the way it was before I write songs, Get creative and and i hardly think about u Well i think humans are wired like that , U go thru pain and eventually u over come everything. It always gets better. But hey i wouldn't be me without u.

There's so much i wanted to express and say But the disappointment in response is heartbreaking

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I wake up, Get fresh And as soon as i log in to my work I see your last seen and den i see your contact on my WhatsApp. Its a routine i made now but as the days are going by i think about u less and less And soon there'll be a day when there no more you left in me.

I just want to love and be loved Nothing else matters anymore The feeling of being alive, to hug someone, to share things with someone who is so special for you i wanna experience everything. Not giving up on this

Your last seen was yesterday, and soon it'll be forever As you have left everything in the middle, We never really got a start and we definitely didn't end it, I think you had always thought about us as friends maybe it was just another co worker for u. Well i hope at this very moment that It becomes a thing of my past soon, Coz emotionally i am drained I need help

and i know i have always bounced back and got better and reached heights I've never discovered before . So i am soo Fckng optimistic about my life and people who are about to enter and things that are going to open up for me.

Days of changes . Sharrr

What direction is this? My life is taking me on a ride like crazy

On a work team call today, My Team lead announced that Sharon is leaving us and she wont be a part of our team anymore. and in that moment i had this weird sensation in my chest like something was not right all these days of ignoring her and not talking to her and trying to move on from her flew out of my head and i messaged her about this. I couldn't believe this , I still don't believe this There are so fucking many thing going inside my head , like the time i was inspired by her , the way she made my day special and just by calling me once, It has all come back to me how special she is for me. Well idk what gonna happen next but m sure my life is one crazy journey and i wanna see Sharon next to me

Listen

You can always be replaced, So think about your growth , your mental health and go to the distance only for the very important things in your life that makes you happy.

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Atleast i tried

One of the worst thing that can happen to you is that. U don't get a closure on the situation. U want it to end but somehow not receiving a closure makes it worst for u. Well im not dying but m surely ok.

Fuck everyone

I have so much built up anger inside me , that i just wanna fight with everyone. But even after provoking no one seemed to fight back. How the hell is everyone so calm. Maybe people just don't like being in such situations. Anyway fuck this and fuck everyone

Loving you gives me pain

Loving you gives me a lot of pain

Since the day i started talking to you

I have been all over the place , not knowing how to handle these feelings i have for u.

U have always turned me down

U have always been clear with this situation. Now when i sit back and re-watch all the memories in my mind

I realize that u have always tried to put a stop on the things i was expecting and trying to do

Damn I'm such a fool

For behaving so foolishly

I feel this pain when u don't reply I feel so alone when u hang up the call I was imperfect without u Why is this happening to me?? Why i am so weak when it comes to you I wish that someday i finally get what i deserve and i get the love that i give

But Today, this moment, right now i put a a stop to it ..xxx

Its going to be the worst

But m sure ill get through it.

You will always hold a special place in my heart,

But i need to stop this obsession that i have for u. The madness that takes place when i see u , This feeling to be with u all the time.

Aggression

As the days go ahead, and as i work out more and more

The level of fuck that i can give is becoming less. For instance the things i used to be so ok to do makes me mad. Like hell no

I am not going to be anyone's slave. I was not meant to be doing this. I am determined that i will not back down from a fight. I will deal with it . And i will cause chaos. I am the the Chaos.

Birthday

Although she wished me the last My day is finally happy , She knows that I'm desperate to see her. & i know she plays with it. But fuck everything I would literally die for her. i would literally do anything for her. Coz i fucking love her. She switched on her video btw. Which is so rare. She talking to me with her cute little glasses , OMG she is just perfect and god i wish she falls in love with me.

My Mind and Soul is finally happy. My day has been saved.

I just came to a realization about how much i rely on her for my happiness maybe its toxic but i don't know how to be happy without her.

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Its my birthday

I turn 28 today

And as i am sitting here with no wishes from anyone not even from my mother.

I am waiting like a stupid fool waiting for a single text from sharon.

Well i guess i am expecting too much.

I dont care if anyone wishes me in this world or not but one text from would have definately changed my mood.

Well fuck this anyway.

Happy birthday yash.

Life and death

Today i went to a funeral

My friend's dad left us.

He was so happy and full of life the last time i saw him.

I could have never ever had imagined that ,that is the last time i will be talking to him.

While my friend was crushed ,crying on top of his voice. I saw myself a few years ago crying when my father left me.

I was so heartbroken. I was so young.

But i also remember my life changed forever i changed forever.

I'm the same is going to happen to my friend.

Life is so unpredictable. Damn this life.

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