The Beauty of Life

What if I had been more patient?

What if I had tried harder?

What if I had been nicer?

But then I keep thinking and I think if I had answered those what ifs then I would have not been able to look at myself in the mirror. Because I would have become the woman I promised myself I wouldn’t. 

Idk where this really stems from

But like I have a friend who’s new to the country right

And they don’t really go out bc they don’t have a car

But when they do go out they only post it on insta

And they never show who it was with

Bc obviously they need a ride

But like in my head I’m like what if they went with the opposite gender and magically just like want to be their friend and realize that I’m not the friend they want anymore

And then on top of that I can’t ask them who they went with without like sounding clingy or possessive

But then if they don’t want to talk to me bc they are tired or whatever then it’s like

The suspicions intensify

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.

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I’ll go first.

I’m supposed to move for residency that’s supposed to start on July 5th. It would make sense for me to move maybe mid or third week of June right? When am I actually moving? June 29th.

Why?