HELLO

The fear. The fear of being hurt. The fear of being left. The negativity.

Dear Diary, I don't know who I am anymore and neither does those around me.

I am me, no, I am you, no, I am nobody. So it feels like. Seriously, I don't even know what kind of person I am. Who am I even anymore? The simple things that are suppose to make a woman feel alive, makes me feel dead. Who am I? What am I? Am I human? Not with these feelings I'm not. Inhuman. What's wrong? As I ask myself over and over. Yet to treat those who love and nourish me, with kindness, & care. I am a bitch. What is happy? No. Where is happy? Surrounded by great people. But yet I still feel lonely. Being private really does back fire on a person. Inhuman. I keep this fake ass smile around so people can mind their own business, obviously I'm slippin. Its like really... Who am I? where do I belong? Where do I go? I don't even know who I am anymore. It's like a phase? I hope. I pray. I wish. Being depressed & not knowing why takes a toll on a person. Le sigh'. I'm gone. Long gone. Far gone. Depressed. Ugly. Fat. A bitch. Flaws & all. I don't accept. I am lost.