𝐉𝐀𝐍𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 — 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘 / 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚜 / 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜
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@ncwbeginnings
𝐉𝐀𝐍𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 — 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘 / 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚜 / 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜

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𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙖𝙜𝙚 || 𝙟𝙖𝙣𝙪𝙖𝙧𝙮
esmerelda: HEYYYY i need your help
esmerelda: and by your help i mean those sick vocals on a song i'm working on
january: okay but only if i get to metal scream like you do.
january: i've been wanting to tap into the female rage for a minute but my label said no :(((((
𝐅𝐎𝐑: @shebloom
𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: january’s house in south bay
her friendship with valentine had been one of the brighter surprises of the year. after her relationship (and the inevitable crash and burn of it) had yanked her from an indie singer playing bars to a billboard charting songwriter her world had spun on its head. sure her album had done well but it didn’t change the things that people had called her, gold-digger, leech. she had been accused of everything from trying to baby-trap her then fiance to insidiously trying to destroy his career from the inside. barraged by misogynistic insults she’d felt spectacularly alone and the outpouring of love from valentine and other industry women alike had eased the burden if only a little bit. “you can read a little bit of it if you want to.” she said shoving a battered moleskin notebook across the table. “i’m not sure if the lyrics are coming from the right place and i think you’d have a better handle on it then me. supermodel and all.” she twisted her hands in her lap. “it’s supposed to be about like that relief of someone who loves you for yourself as opposed to your body or sex.”
𝑫𝑬𝑿𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑶'𝑴𝑨𝑳𝑳𝑬𝒀 :
It was surreal seeing January in front of him. Having placed her firmly out of his mind for the last bit of time. It had been easier that way, to cope and get over everything that she had put him through. Dexter was not a bad guy, just sometimes cared a little too much and he swore that was the downfall of his relationship with her. No matter, there was no time for him to dwell on things that had passed, not when he needed to focus on everything that had happened in the last two days. “Keira is busy helping our mom with the funeral and I’m not talking to Christian so sure, you can come in.” He stepped aside to allow her into a home that used to be her own. “Make yourself comfortable, you know where everything is.” He muttered under his breath as he moved through the house to the bar cart. “Drink?”
it feels a bit like walking inside of a living mausoleum. her knuckles caught on the edge of the scratch along the entryway where they’d drug in a couch she’d found at a flea market and insisted they have. she toed off her sneakers in the doorway tucking them into that familiar corner, nearly sick at how well they seemed to fit into the crevice that had been left empty. “i’ll just have boricha.” she said, unable to meet his eyes. she pulled a teabag from that same spot in the back of the cabinet and fished a chipped blue mug from the dishwasher. “have you been drinking?” hear head tilted towards the bar cart. she felt frozen under the weight of her own expectations now that she was here. neither she or dexter had ever been good at talking about their feelings. it might have been foolish to come here, to think that she could offer him any comfort after running away back then. “how’s your mom doing?”
𝑴𝑬𝑳𝑶𝑫𝒀-𝑹𝑨𝑬 𝑾𝑨𝑳𝑲𝑬𝑹 :
open starter for all
“now i know you’re not about to do what i think you’re about to do.” they were absolutely about to do it. with how long she had been at this now, and even before she had been paid to fix peoples shit for them melody-rae had developed a knack for being able to tell when someone was about to ask her for advice. “i told you my policy, if i’m not in ma office you can’t be talking to me about your issues. we gotta have boundaries…enjoy our coffees in peace.”
“right...boundaries.” january mulled over the word for a minute. boundaries were important, if she had used proper boundaries her life might not have been spiraling so viciously and quickly out of control. she gripped her matcha latte knuckles white under the tension of her grip. “sorry i didn’t mean to infringe on your personal time. thanks for coming out.” besides being an excellent therapist melody-rae was a comforting presence. like the cool big sister who had her shit together in comparison to january’s own shitstorm.

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𝑳𝑨𝑼𝑹𝑬𝑵 𝑫𝑨𝑽𝑰𝑺 :
–– open starter ; at a lounge ’ 11:45pm.
“ you think you’re very funny , don’t you ? ” delivery deadpan and ice cold , the immediate people around her go instantly quiet. her voice is level , barely above a whisper , threat audible. being the daughter of a world - renowned director and producer was fun and games until his work escapades were blasted in the form of a column signed by seventeen esteemed actors and actresses. world turned upside down for months , the return to los angeles had not done what she hoped. stares , constant eyes following her , hoping to watch her slip. people torn between calling them complicit of his crimes and assuming they were victims in it all. in new york , the latter group had been louder. here , she wasn’t so sure. “ turn around and leave me alone , ” she tells them , voice shuddering in poorly suppressed rage.
she only knew lauren in the cursory sense, the sort of polite acquaintance that hollywood demanded, brushing elbows at parties and pretending to know someone’s name. when her father’s scandal had dropped it had been impossible to pass a newsstand without the whole family’s faces splashed across the front of every paper. january had never thought it was fair, that a child could be culpable for the sins of their parents. she knew a thing or two about the shame of having a family who couldn’t love you enough to not make bad decisions. her courage gathered she stepped forward snatching the magazine from an outstretched hand. “get out of here. this is harassment you know. i could call the police and have you arrested.” she huffed watching them scurry through the door mumbling profanities. “are you okay? c’mon let’s go somewhere more private.” phones and cameras flashed trying to capture the next big meltdown, typical capitalistic doom culture.
𝑫𝑬𝑿𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑶'𝑴𝑨𝑳𝑳𝑬𝒀 :
There were very few things that Dexter worried about the past. He tried to live his life as genuine as he could, really tried to move on with his life as much as he could. His breakup with January was one of those things that he tried to keep compartmentalized in his head as a box that he firmly did not open. After all, he was willing to give up everything for the woman and she told him he was smothering her. Those words being released into the world and never to be taken back. It made him avoid her at any opportunity that he could but as he opened the door and saw her standing right in front of him, Dexter found himself unable to keep up the facade of being unaffected by her. “Yep, seems the old man finally croaked,” Dexter’s words laced with bitterness despite the blank stare on his face. An unusual feeling for him. Emotions were something he always expressed, regardless of how it made others feel. “You didn’t have to make a trip here, January. I’m fine.”
teetering in the doorway of his home she felt almost overcome with emotion. they were the first words he’d spoken to her in half a year. both of them so jilted in their own ways and unable to admit failure out of sheer stubborn pride. it was a hubris that followed her and continued to haunt her, waking up in her dark apartment sheets so cold they may as well have been ice, wondering what she’d done to so spectacularly fuck up her life when for one singular moment in time it had gone right. “yeah well i saw your tweet so...” the rest of it left unsaid, of course i can’t leave you alone, of course i am here, i would make any trip to see you at peace. “can i um-can i come in? at least until you need to go see keira or christian. i was just worried about you that’s all.” the words fell off her tongue before she could stop them. she wondered if she needed his presence more than he did hers. something to quiet her unrestful soul, to reassure herself that he was fine so she wouldn’t be eaten alive by her own anxiety.
𝑶𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑺𝑨 𝒁𝑰𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑳𝑳𝑰:
𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 everyone . 𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 a gym idk .
a trip to the trainer meant facing a reality odessa was currently in denial of , so she settles for doing everything herself. sat in a private training room , she MAKES HERSELF SUFFER while attempting to tie her wrist properly – bandage clamped somewhere between her teeth and left hand for several moments now. the door opens somewhere behind her and the bandage snaps , shooting back against her wrist and causing the blonde to shake it off with a wince and frustrated sigh. it leaves her right back where she started : bare wrist , throbbing pain , and an advil that was damn near close to wearing off completely. “ room’s taken , y’know. ” odessa commented , back still to the other before the makeshift first aid kit is brushed aside. “ i still got another half hour , so get lost. ” bridge of her nose is pinched by her index finger and thumb as elbows move to rest on knees that were tucked closer to her chest now.
january had spent enough of her youth screaming to know she didn’t like it. fighting didn’t come naturally it her, it exhausted her down to her bone marrow. when she faced conflict tears sprang to her eyes with preternatural swiftness, her face flushed red with embarrassment, and her fists clenched into her palms. so when conflict appeared she ran away as fast as her feet could carry her. “sorry i was just looking for-” she hugged a sweater and a water bottle to her chest like she might throw them in self-defense. “are you okay?” the question is prodding and too personal for a perennial hermit like herself. but if the last six months have proven to her anything it’s that she doesn’t know herself as well as she thinks she does. “i have some ibuprofen if you’d like it.”
𝐟𝐨𝐫: @dispersisfabulis
𝒍𝒐𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏: dexter’s house
it’s daunting in a way she can’t describe to stand in front of a home that used to be hers and worry about walking in. the blue-painted shutters she’d done by hand after tiring of the white fluttered in the california heat. january paused, her hand hovering just above the door. six months ago she’d called this place home, she’d laid in bed with dex laughing at whatever dumb joke he made because that was love. she had made pumpkin pancakes and strummed her guitar on the balcony with him. six months ago she and dex spoke, they were in love, now she wasn’t sure what they were at all. gathering her courage she rapped at the door praying for and answer. “dex.” she said her voice soft and unsure. “i heard about your dad. i’m so sorry.”
(—) ★ spotted!! january park on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the twenty-six year old looks like shin yeeun, but i don’t really see it. while the singer is known for being empathetic my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be melancholic i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song my mother & i by lucy dacus {she & her / cisfemale} - penned by rina, 22, cis female, she/her

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