Biphobia Alive and Well on Grindr
Grindr Guy: I bet u fucked a girl before
Me: I have. Haha. Not a gold star gay.
Grindr Guy: I dont like bi guys at all
Grindr Guy: When was the last time u did it
Me: Well that's rather dismissive and judgmental. Clearly "bi" guys is not a valid category for deciding whether you like someone or not.
Me: Unlike, say, people without pics or stats.
Me: But it has been years.
Grindr Guy: I'm sorry beautiful but im just being honest
Grindr Guy: I simply believe in gay or straight, i just cant tolerate selfish and confused individuals
Me: Ironic.
Grindr Guy: Its not healthy, plus is disheartening to hear men claim to be gay n still let women manipulate them
Me: Well, I assure you I'm neither selfish nor confused. And no one manipulates me. I just find both sexes attractive. There aren't enough cute, funny, intelligent people in the world to limit my search to one gender.
Grindr Guy: Ironic, i find both sexes attractive, does that make me bi?
Grindr Guy: I dont think so, im 100% secure and exclusevely interested in men, so yes it us a form of greed
Me: Ironic that you can't tolerate selfish or confused individuals but have a philosophy that is both yourself.
Grindr Guy: Many stamp me with the judgemental stamp
Me: I've never understood the greed argument either. Is there a quota? Some limit? Are bi people having more sex? I assure you it sucks to be able to be rejected by anyone. At least only half the population can reject you.
Grindr Guy: Yeah, just like 90% of the entire universe that have zero tolerance to other things
Me: That other people are also intolerant doesn't excuse your intolerance.
Me: But perhaps some cute bi boy will come along and change your mind one day.
Grindr Guy: So now im a bad person for not approving of bisexuality,
Me: If I disapproved of homosexuality, would I be a bad person?
Me: Heterosexuality?
Grindr Guy: Of course not
Grindr Guy: So why are people, especially bi dudes want to make me feel like a monster due to my inability to cope and sugar coat there lust and greed
Grindr Guy: I will never, give a bi dude a chance nor will engage in any type of sexual encounter
Me: You didn't fall for my logical conclusion. I think it would make me a bad person to disapprove of homosexuality or heterosexuality.
Grindr Guy: You have no idea how humiliating and painful it is to kno and have to endure with the man you love, likes women sexually
Me: Whether a choice or genetic, how consenting adults orient their sexuality has nothing to do with me. And furthermore, two gay people have nothing inherently in common. I would no sooner be able to say I don't like gay people or straight people than black people. It's discrimination based on a quality beyond their control.
Me: Why is that painful?
Grindr Guy: Im insecure and afraid to ever commiting to any guy, because i fear a girl will get in the middle
Me: Does it bother you if he also likes hairy guys or twinks or anyone else you cannot possibly be?
Me: That is a trust issue with your man, honey. If you can't trust him not to let someone in the middle, it has nothing to do with you and nothing to do with what is in that person's pants.
Grindr Guy: Not at all, i willl be completely ok if im left for another man, a girl has way more to offer than i do
Me: Snatch? Trust me it isn't more to offer. It's just different. There are people out there with better asses and bigger dicks, too. The fear of being left is always present. Don't blame women or bi people for that.
Grindr Guy: Women already succeded in the straight comunity, now there slowly but shortly taking over the gay community
Me: Just find someone who cannot possibly imagine being with anyone but you.
Grindr Guy: Its typical to listen to this type of response
Me: And that's the most ridiculous thing I've heard yet. Women aren't succeeding in the cay community. And the gay community's biphobia is growing because of that nonsense belief. Leaving cute boys like me single because people are afraid I will leave them for a woman.
Grindr Guy: Bi men are always trying to justify there irrational n selfish behaviour
Me: Honestly, honey, look at my words. What about me says irrational? Give a bit of credit where credit is due. You don't know me and are judging me based on my sexual partners. Who is acting more irrational?
Grindr Guy: You are absolutely beautiful, will i date you, no its uncomfortable to kno u like women seuxally, n its not fair to me or any other guy
Grindr Guy: And if you cant sympathize with us then your not being open nor taking into consideration nothing i say or any othe guy have to say
Me: The only unfair thing is you deciding not to date someone based on such an unfounded fear. You're making a choice there. Not me. One about something that may or may not happen during our relationship. But you're negating the possibility of the relationship before it even starts ironically doing exactly to me what you're afraid I would do to you.
Me: I'm not being open? You're the one choosing not to date bi people. Maybe you should learn to sympathize with us for being, you know, the only way we know how to be. Just like you are.
Grindr Guy: I appreciate you taking the time and being mature in regards to this topic, grindr is a disgusting sick place, with very little room for a decent convo without sex talk
Me: True. Pity I'm bi.
Grindr Guy: Sorry we disagree, its life and im a good hearted kind person who is simply misunderstood
Grindr Guy: True, pity your bi, das is 100% accurate
Grindr Guy: God knows my heart, i stand for what i believe in, even if it costs me to be single forever, however i do realize and have faith there are guys outhere on my same page, n willing to understand and accomodate n respect my opiniond n beliefs
Grindr Guy: Not be the victim
Me: You seem like that could be true, my friend. But it's about as genuine as Westboro Baptist to say you're misunderstood for being prejudiced. You choose to be bigoted. I understand that completely. Choose not to and you might be less misunderstood.
Grindr Guy: You can call me whatever you want
Grindr Guy: Just remember one thing, its a pattern and its never going away
Me: What is?
Grindr Guy: Bi people will forever be a target and nobody believes nor trust, only the people of your kind have your back n can relate to your irrational selfish behaviours
Grindr Guy: 90% of the universe feels da same
Me: Well, I haven't surveyed the universe but so far you're definitely the outlier. I've had plenty of gay friends and boyfriends who didn't feel that way. You're right though about one thing: you'll probably have to find someone as afraid of change, growth and difference as you to be happy. Good luck.
Grindr Guy: Lol, seriously?
Grindr Guy: Typical, but i do understand your rage and the need to belittle me with words and stamps, simply for being honest and straight forward
Me: In my experience, yes. It's very hard to be with someone closed minded when you're not and vice versa.
Me: This is a conversation about how I'm irrational and greedy by nature of my sexuality and will never find love because of it. Your philosophy is that. And I'm belittling you? Seriously?
Grindr Guy: Beautiful, why do you think people have to feel comfortable and deal with your greed?
Grindr Guy: Why do we have to tolerate your lust for pussy?
Me: Well, that's fair. No one should have to tolerate my lust for pussy.
Grindr Guy: What truly hurts me and bothers me, is that bi dudes like yourself, knows whats convenient, live according to society with a bi title, gf and kids
Me: I have every intention of marrying a man.
Me: I could take or leave the kids.
Grindr Guy: At the end of the day your loyalty is with women
Grindr Guy: And guess whose feelings our thrown in the river to accomodate a girl
Grindr Guy: Another mans
Me: Well, you clearly know me.
Grindr Guy: Its typical when bi men, just like bi women
Me: Just for the record though, only 2.5% of my sexual partners have been women.
Me: I would say statistically my loyalty is to the D.
Grindr Guy: Lol
Grindr Guy: Your quite something, you gorgeous beautiful little munchkin
Grindr Guy: N dat is 100% true statement
Me: Thanks.
Grindr Guy: But I kno the deal
Grindr Guy: 2.5%
Grindr Guy: Let me guess 10
Grindr Guy: Just like the one u had a few years ago, 2012
Me: What?
Grindr Guy: Nothing babe
Grindr Guy: :(
Grindr Guy: I just wish i didnt feel this way
Grindr Guy: I dont hat anybody, im just so insecure and hurt by actions and so much negative feedback ive gotten over the years
Grindr Guy: Ive never had a serious relationship is my biggest desire, is just the bi thing that i can tolerate
Grindr Guy: Its just like Fuck man, if you like girls so much stay with them n leave us alone
Grindr Guy: Generally speaking
Grindr Guy: Id be devastated if u was friends or inquaintance with women u slept with
Grindr Guy: So disrespectful
Me: Disrespectful if it happens. But don't make assumptions about all bi people. That's also unfair and disrespectful too.
Me: And why does being bi mean I will end up with a woman?
Me: Like I might say that all flight attendants are whores and not date any but that would obviously be wrong, even if based on my own experience or stories or whatever. So I judge each flight attendant based on his or her actions rather than pretending I can possibly know anything about a whole group of people.
Grindr Guy: Jajajajajaja
Grindr Guy: What a great comparison
Grindr Guy: Great thing, im a flight attendant and can vouch for us
Grindr Guy: Indeed we are
Me: I know.
Grindr Guy: Whores, sluts, etc etc
Grindr Guy: Not all but vast majority
Me: Haha. You are not. I was a flight attendant and knew just as many prudes as sluts. That's the point.
Me: Groups are an illusion. Sharing a characteristic doesn't mean you share anything else.
Grindr Guy: God i like you so much
Grindr Guy: Your amazing, but unfortunately we do not coexist or agree in many things
Grindr Guy: I dont believe nor agree with bisuality
Grindr Guy: I speak nothing but the truth
Grindr Guy: End up with a women, because your loyalty is with them, they can give you a family and kids, be accepted in society, etc etc
Me: You have a very limited view about what people can want.
Grindr Guy: N what hurts me the most is, they use that pedestal society has awarded them with, and use it against the world
Me: I don't want kids or value them as a goal. And even if I did, I can have them with a man.
Me: Personally, if I were to have kids, I'd much rather have them with a man than a woman. I think it's so cute gay dads. And I clearly have no interest in what society thinks.
Grindr Guy: Especially in the gay community, they see gay men as an abomination, therefore feel they have the cure to heal n eventually seduxe and manipulate gay men n end up fucking them
Me: Just trying to show you that your assumptions about bi peopel clearly don't apply to me so imagine what other guys they might not apply to.
Grindr Guy: So in my eyes n the entire gay community, your a traitor
Grindr Guy: The end
Me: You don't speak for the gay community. You speak for you. What you're saying is much less ignorant if you own that fact.
Grindr Guy: Yeah, your right beautiful
Grindr Guy: Im a bitter, ignorant, judgemental insecure stupid gay dude
Grindr Guy: Lets leave it at that
Grindr Guy: You won
Me: I will make someone a wonderful husband one day. Clearly not you. But know that that is your choice and not mine. Bi people aren't being treacherous to you. You're being dismissive of them.
Me: Hardly. I wish I had. I've been very open and honest with you. Trying to show you that your opinions are misguided. But you don't seem open to that possibility. And like a lot of bigoted people, you take my disinterest in validating your position as bigotry as well. A lack of ability to sympathize. But the thing is in my worldview everyone is a valuable person. In yours bi people are treasonous, greedy, sinful, mean, untrustworthy. It's illogical to think both are equally attractive positions.
Grindr Guy: I really hope you do, and i hope that poor boy has the will, and the power to endure N accomodate you with letting you get sum pussy here in there
Grindr Guy: N be ok with it
Grindr Guy: Maybe I should start reading more books and obtain to masters degrees to keep up with such superior intelligence
Grindr Guy: My bigotry is no match for your bisexual self
Me: See, I haven't once taken that tone with you. But fair enough.
Grindr Guy: See, what?
Grindr Guy: You have, through the entire convo
Grindr Guy: You have ingested my feelings and opinions, translated them and labeled me as a bigot
Me: But without mean-spiritedness, rudeness or sarcasm.
Grindr Guy: Your empathy is very up to par
Me: I have disagreed with you with as much respect as can be when being told I'm a terrible person along the way. A traitor to my people. Actually they aren't even my people according to you.
Grindr Guy: Your loyalty is with women, and pussy
Grindr Guy: Your temporary lust for men is seasonal, therefore you act and repojd the way you do
Me: It's so funny to hear someone say that as most say they can't believe I'm bi.
Grindr Guy: Sorry, sarcasm and wit are tw of my main traits
Me: Well, you're half right.
Grindr Guy: That go in conjunction, with my kind and sensible heart
Grindr Guy: Like i said beautiful
Grindr Guy: Your right, im wrong
Grindr Guy: Its true, i need to be more open and accept im wrong and stop having opinions
Me: Opinions are wonderful. Assumptions are not.
Grindr Guy: Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one huh babe? Lol
