I'M GONNA MAKE IT

————  “ This is no place to take a nap. ”   ›› @venturezone​

I KNOW , eli thought. I know. 

his brain and his mouth did not want to connect. he could not begin to tell minerva what sort of state he was in - he was barely able to show his new rise to consciousness , the slow and rhythmic expand of his chest turning to something more violent as he struggled for air. not because he’d been deprived of it , but because he was compensating for what he’d lost - breathing easily did not suit his panicked state of being , whatever terror his mind had been grappling with before darkness turned slowly into light. his head throbbed. he could smell iron. there was a wet spot on his forehead that he predicted was a casualty of being on the kitchen tile.

he was scared. minerva’s presence alone was soothing , but minerva couldn’t do a damn thing for him. couldn’t call for help. couldn’t keep a wavering hand out while he brought himself to his feet. couldn’t do anything but sit and talk and likely not have a clue anything is wrong if he couldn’t bring himself to move , and all that for only three minutes. 

eli swallowed , and grounded himself , and hesitantly pushed himself onto his elbows. with time he could get his legs underneath him. for now , he just kept his eyes closed and his breath easy. 

————   ›› @gravemaker​

“ THIS IS very good tea , “ she says , finally.

the silence that had so deeply permeated this meeting was broken , her voice hoarse and husky despite how soothing the drink was on her throat. it had simply been far too long since she’d talked with others. had been too long since she’d braved civilization as a whole , as small and one-manned as this civilization had become. vaniel remembered the blooming grove with little fondness , and little warmth , though she remembers there being more. more living. more dead. shadycreek had not been a welcoming home when she’d lived amongst its people , and the amount of corpses compared to unwell that she’d tended to rivaled what she’d seen on battlefields. some had taken to the wildmother , had asked to be buried here. no one else had been willing to carry them this far into the woods. 

this is very good tea , she thought bitterly , to be made from such sad people. 

TLDR - almost all personal nouns are verbs , implication is everything, community is important to language , and hannah rambles A Lot. 

       THIS  WOULDN’T  DO.  staying out here was a ridiculous thought,  and it was all too clear when the boy  —  he was an adult,  she needed to get out of that habit  —  before her seemed to black out momentarily.  she worked hard to keep her panic and fear under control,  a tight grip around the emotions swirling around in her head and her heart.  now wasn’t the time for the smothering woman eli had put up with for most of his younger life.  she needed to be something of a rock,  a stable support.

   so instead of letting tears overwhelm her,  instead of letting the panic grip her like the vice she knew it could be if she let it,  she offered a small smile at the question. 

           “  it’s really dead.  you did good,  eli,  you have a day off,  promise.  ”

   she had to spend a moment to look around,  trying to take any account of how the area around was.  too far from her truck to leave him to bring it,  and too far into the woods,  too.  she was going to pick him up and take him there.  

           “  i’m gonna  …  i’m gonna do something here,  okay?  hold tight,  alright?  ” 

    mama couldn’t just lift him,  and she knew that.  no,  she needed to settle something,  anything,  she had to try.  she hadn’t been at the forefront of all this in years,  she wasn’t like leo,  sturdy and trained to be forever fight-capable. it had been a long time, but she would try.  removing the bundle of cloth from the wound,  trying not to look at the blood soaking through the fabric.  her hands settled over the length of the wound,  and she had to concentrate for a moment.

    warmth began to spread through her palm and the digits of her hand slowly, like trying to move a singular flame to coax into something larger.  it had been a long time since she had used magic like this,  but her concentration held true, and the warmth jumped from her palm in a show of a glowing passage of light to spread across the length of the gash on eli’s body.  meant to heal,  to at least stop the bleeding and lessen some pain.  he would need more assistance back at the lodge,  no doubt,  but it would do enough for her to lift him.

    she could feel the blood seeping through her own shirt from her side,  but she ignored the stinging heat.

         “  i’m gonna pick you up now,  eli.  bear with me,  honey,  okay?  ”

eli made a small noise , a cross between an approving hum and a strangled groan, and wrapped his arms tighter around himself. he’d always been cold - he was a small man , and chill cut through him easier than most , but this cold was different. it was bone deep , and seemed to radiate outwards rather than fall in closer to him. he knew , somewhere , that it was a balmy summer night , and when he thought hard enough it made sense , that something gave inside of him and that was why he was freezing , but then rationality gave way to cold and pain and this ever-swarming confusion. 

“ m’kay , “ he rasped , his voice thicker and hoarser than it had been moments before , “ ... s’not that bad ... i could get up , “ he offered meekly , but mama wanted to try something first. of course. let her do what she needed. it’d be rude to deny her that. 

eli settled back against the ground and , for the first time tonight , willingly closed his eyes. the stars had begun to swirl sickeningly above , and it wasn’t helping the twisting knot in his stomach. he shivered freely now , having found it jostled him less to just ... accept the inevitable. and then the shivering stopped. the nausea stopped. the pain itself stopped , separating from his body , and what once burned and stung was replaced with a lazy warmth that flowed through him like honey wine. he didn’t open his eyes - didn’t dare , afraid this was some illusion he’d break. but his body relaxed , the bearhug he held on himself fading into something more casual , even as things went back the way they were. pain eased through him this time , coming in tolerable waves instead of the throbbing mess it arrived as. the cold came back with vengeance , somehow shuddering even more heavily, but it was good. it was just cold. he felt , suddenly , like he’d survive. 

      THE  FEELING  OF  HEALING  MAGIC  FLOWING  THROUGH  MINERVA  MADE  HER  BLINK.   not much else came of the action, and for a solid moment, she hardly seemed to take much else in as her headache ebbed away and her aches seemed to dissipate into something more related to how she slept on the floor last night. her gaze peered at vaniel, then, confusion marring her expression  —  she had done that?  healed her?  such magic on her planet always required such attunement, such training, and ritual, and almost immediately she was intrigued into how vaniel could have possibly already tapped into such of her planet’s reserve keeping it alive.  perhaps that should have been more worrisome on that end, the idea that someone else could dip into those precious crevasses of energy, but instead it only made her lean a little closer, look her up and down.

     was she … ?

   no, there was simply no way, not as she watched her stagger a little and mention something about planes, and that was telling enough. 

        “ yes,  the  healing  magic  you’ve  used  is  quite  effective,  thank  you.  but  you  look  worse  for  wear,  vaniel.  come,  sit. ”  minerva gestured towards a chair,  a bit worn but sturdy.   “ you  look  dreadful.  let  me  make  you  some  tea,  should  set  you  right.  and  leaving  …  i’m  not  sure  i  could  send  you  back  the  same  way?  i  believe  i  brought  you  over  somehow  by  mistake,  as  you  are  certainly  not  leo  tarkesian. ”

   she began to bustle around the room, once vaniel was hopefully seated,  moving to small pit of charcoaled sticks to start up a fire from her hands alone. she settled a bowl of water over the top of it and pulled down a box from a shelf, seeming to start some kind of ritual. 

        “  this  may  be  another  plane  to  you,  but  i  likely  dragged  you  lightyears  through  space.  again,  my  apologies,  vaniel.  but  do  tell  me  more  of  where  you  hail  from.  i’m  curious  how  i  got  you  rather  than  my  intial  target. ”

“ perhaps ... “ she mused , throat suddenly dry and crackling. tea sounded lovely , as did the chance to sit down - her limp , barely noticeable on any given day , was magnified considerably , as was expected with exhaustion this great. vaniel took her seat with palpable gratitude , though she did only take up the very edge of it ; she’d done as much as she could , but didn’t doubt for a moment this minerva wouldn’t still be a bit tired. she’d catch her breath , adjust to the strange tilt the room before her had taken , and then offer the seat back to its rightful owner. it was only natural. god , she was tired.

enough to break form at the very least , hunched over just enough to rest her elbows on her knees , one hand massaging her brow. “ not sure why , “ she said , then cleared her throat to correct the weary tone that had slipped into her voice. “ i can’t say i’ve ever felt ... tired from magic before. it was worth it , certainly , but very unexpected. “ she’d felt warm before , and powerful , and loved , but never tired after the spell had run its course. maybe it was this new planet. maybe - ... maybe istus couldn’t find her here. her heart jolted momentarily , and she sent out a flailing , desperate prayer : mother , be with me.

many of the words minerva spoke made little sense. planets she knew , as the orbital bodies were casually studied by most monastery students. lightyears , she had little knowledge or comprehension for. leo tarkesian , whoever or whatever they may be , was wholly a mystery. her panic doubled suddenly , but ebbed away as quickly as it had appeared - she’d never been sent a challenge she couldn’t face. if she wasn’t meant to be here , she would’ve never arrived.

————  “  In case you don't live forever, let me tell you now: i love you more than you’ll ever wrap your head around... ”  ›› @lcsingstars​​

FOR A FEW minutes , baz was quiet. not as if that was uncommon for him , but ... well. it was uncommon to the situation. angis was , and had always been , a man of few sweet words - not exactly a complaint on baz’s part , but an observation. a constant. something that had always been , and always would be , save for the occasional tender outburst like this one. and , when prompted accordingly , baz had always found it in him to gush. good behavior goes rewarded and all that ... as much as baz could live without it , he certainly wouldn’t try and sway him from speaking as much. 

tonight was a bit different , though. baz said nothing , and for a few minutes could have easily passed as asleep. but then his arms suddenly tightened , and his legs twisted around angis’ own , and they were interlocked more fiercly than their casual cuddle moments before. baz could feel stray bits of hay poking through his thin linen clothes and he grimaced at the sensation , but it was hardly worth making a fuss over. it’s what they got for sleeping in the stables again. it’s what baz got for being a literal giant. 

————  “ Hearts, like flowers, cannot be rudely handled, but must open naturally. ”  ›› @freckledbats​ 

“ THAT WAS ... eloquent. “ to the surprise of most people , perhaps , but not vaniel. she knew better than many that daxton was a mixed bag , a perfectly unexpected creature entirely. when their mind was clear and open , words seemed to come easily to them , but that was a rarity few had the chance to witness - they were troubled , and lonely. their mind seemed to have its own agenda half of the time. it was best not to question these bouts of lucidity , but take them in stride , and that is what vaniel intended as she pulled them a bit higher up on her lap. 

     THE ONLY SAVING GRACE KEEPING LEO FROM OPENING HIS MOUTH AND COMING BACK WITH SOMETHING SCORCHING WAS THE BASEBALL GAME THAT HELD A SMALL AMOUNT OF HIS ATTENTION.

   At least, enough so that he could tune into it instead of the desire to snap back at Bim with some level of annoyance and anger mixed. He wasn’t in any kind of mood to chat. Hence, of course, the game on the radio. Not that he cared about the two teams enough to be invested. Red Sox versus the Braves. Not teams he liked nor hated, so it was simply following their plays, mapping out the game in his head. Pulling his mind from the pain of his injuries from his last hunt, at least. 

   His eyelids fluttered shut after a moment, as Bim lifted one of the ice packs and then disappeared. Probably to replace it. He just wanted to relax. He didn’t want to be angry or annoyed. But good god, every movement he made hurt like hell, and the stress of everything going on … it was only getting worse. And he could only see it getting worse as time went on. They were getting stronger, and Leo … well. He was getting older. His prime had passed, the two lovely decades of his twenties and thirties. And he worked himself harshly these days. If he wasn’t keeping an eye on the gate, he was working at the day-job he had, overtime every week save for the hunts. There was no telling how much more taxing this all would become. 

     (  Could he keep doing this … ?   )

   But the whole reason why he had to keep doing this seemed to walk right back into the room as if summoned or cued by Leo himself. His eyes slid open again as his head tilted back to glance at him. His harder expression softened for a moment. Shitty last week or not, Bim certainly didn’t deserve the brunt of that. A long sigh left his lungs, and he felt his shoulders relax.

        “ I don’t think ‘ve got enough naproxen t’do enough good, y’know, ” he grumbled, but he sat up a little straighter. “ But another few couldn’t do any worse t’me. ”

“ right , “ bim murmured , and disappeared once more. he came back with the pill bottle in tow , a soda from the fridge tucked in the crook of one arm and a glass of water in hand - just for options. bim would’ve brought a beer down for him , if he hadn’t thought it would just thin out his blood. was that how alcohol worked ? god , bim should’ve known that - he was almost sixty , anyway , though he didn’t look it ; there were a lot of things he should’ve known. most of his medical knowledge was piecemeal at best , enough to keep leo alive ; enough to keep them from visiting the hospital every week , because as good as bim’s healthcare was , it couldn’t afford that. 

speaking of his healthcare , of his work in general ... bim paused to give the calendar a look on his way out of the kitchen , and died a little internally. his marathon was coming up , the weekly stretch where he filmed sixteen hours a day and answered fanmail the rest. at least he didn’t need to sleep. at least leo never questioned why he dropped off on the couch anyway afterwards. 

   THE PAIN IN MINERVA’S SKULL POUNDED SOMETHING FIERCE. 

   Her bones seemed to ache horribly, and if blood could feel boiling, she thought maybe that’s what was happening in her veins, let alone her skin. The inky black of the night sky was hidden by the dark, impenetrable cloth hung against the single peeking window from the underground up to the surface. But there was light in here, in the little cave of sorts that Minerva called home, casting a gentle yellow glow over the walls and floor, and the tall, broad figure leaning over the one lain out across the rocky terrain of the room. Her armour was not being worn for the moment, decreasing some of her typical bulk, though the blue tunic was still adorned, and the symbols painted across her scalp were clear as ever.

   She would have to ignore the splitting headache to attend to whoever this person was on her floor, and that wasn’t terribly surprising. She was always ignoring something in favor of something else of higher significance. But in this case, the surprising thing was whoever this was. No one had spontaneously appeared on Miralaviniax Orbital Body Five  —  affectionately shortened to MOB-5  —  in over five decades. It must have meant something  —  and if she could judge by the horrid drain in her energy and the pain, she could only guess that her experiment had worked. Just not … precisely how she meant it to. She had been hoping to draw herself out this blasted planet’s ensnaring atmosphere, but it appeared that, instead, she drew someone else here.

     Whoops.

   But whoever they were stirred finally after a moment, and even addressed her in a language she could speak  —  convenient!

        “ My apologies. I am Minerva. You, my friend, are not from Miralaviniax Orbital Body Five, are you? ”  Her hazel eyes were fixed on the being before her, odd as they appeared.  “ And you are no human, yes? ”

   Her hand outstretched, then, reaching out to the person to help them up. A smile was on her face  —  this would be fascinating, no doubt.

oh , she felt feverish. it seemed to amplify the longer she laid , and she tried not to squirm uncomfortably in its wake. she couldn’t say her mind was racing , as slowly as the cogs were turning , but she thought deep and hard about what and where she might be. even as the answers were given to her , she thought this woman might’ve been mistaken ... she’d never left her lodgings. she never would leave her lodgings , not unprompted , and unless she’d been dreaming heavily and staggered out of her own accord , and been ... accosted , she doubted this was real. 

dreams could carry unbeknownst weight. they could feel as real as the stone against her back and the soft light scattered against the walls. but as she did take this strangers hand and slowly shift her weight to sit upright , vaniel knew it wasn’t a dream. her blood felt thick in her own veins , sweat dripping down her nape and past her collar. whatever reality this was , she couldn’t imagine why she felt so ... unbelievably horrible. work had been taxing , sure , but not to this degree. and , clasping hands with this poor woman before her , she couldn’t help but note her companion feeling much the same ; her pulse beat just as violently under her skin , and after a moment of hesitation , vaniel took that hand between both of her own. 

she called upon her magic the same as she usually would , but was immediately struck with how different it felt - it passed through her hands almost tangibly , a warm tingle flowing through her chest , slipping under her fingertips and flowing into the woman before her. though vaniel watched minerva’s expression patiently for change , her own started to tire even further. magic wasn’t normally a physical feeling : as such , she hadn’t expected the drop once it faded from her body. 

“ any better ... ? “ she asked quietly , using the other’s hand to get to her feet entirely. she felt as wan and pale as she likely looked, and wiped the sweat from her brow without much thinking on it. she’d be fine. a bit of rest would do her fine. “ forgive me , you ... didn’t appear well. my name is vaniel , and ... you’d be correct. i’m only half as much, anyway. “  

    THERE  HAD  NEVER  BEEN  A  DOUBT  IN  MAMA’S  MIND  THAT  THIS  WOULD  HAPPEN  EVENTUALLY.  Injuries like these happened to everyone in the Pine Guard, never matter how experienced or strong or trained they were. The Abominations were always something more, whatever the case was. Faster, stronger, sturdier than the last they had fought, and the longer this all went on, the worst it became. Between horrifying creatures of total otherwordly nature to earthen animals lost to the Wasteland, she could remember her early days when they seemed so easy to tame and destroy.

       But now, they were nothing like that.

   Her hands were pressed against the gash and she was reluctant to let him feel it himself, to let him properly register his own wounds. She felt a heavy lump in her throat that she had to remember to talk through. Tears would do her no good here, would change nothing. But then Eli was trying to sit up, and her hand moved, bloodied, to his chest to stop him from such movement.

         “ No, Eli, don’t … don’t move much, alright? You can make it worse tryin’ to stand, ”  she said firmly, wracking her brain for anything at all she could do, aside from just lifting him. She sat back, pulling her hands away, covered in too much blood to be comforting, gripping the bottom of her overshirt and ripping at the fabric, removing a long strip of it to press and wrap around him tight as she could. Any staunching of the blood would be helpful.

        “ Tell me what you feel. Numb anywhere? ”

“ y’told me to stay awake ... “ he tried , tongue loose and numb in his mouth. he could taste blood at the back of his throat , but that was more likely to have been the result of fainting rather than being directly wounded. he thought he might’ve hit the ground hard , but he couldn’t remember at this point. couldn’t afford to concentrate on it. his body shook against his will , lips tinged blue with the sudden chill that swept over his body. he wrapped his arms around himself , desperate to hold on to what warmth his thin jacket still provided - things tinged grey again , the only bright thing being the stars above that he stared at with distant affection. the stars were pretty. mama pressed down , and eli blacked out. 

he came to to the feeling of cloth burrowed in his wound and he gagged , diaphragm heaving with an unexpected surge of nausea. he wasn’t sick , not yet , but he covered his mouth with his hands and retched and shook and almost fainted again. he couldn’t do this. he wanted to go to sleep. but mama said he had to stay awake , and he did , and then she asked him a question and he had to find the energy to answer.

“ it hurts , “ he whispered , not so much a complaint as him telling her exactly what she asked. “ s’not numb. it hurts. legs’r cold. “ he tried to curl them closer to himself , but the angle of the wound was awkward , and he couldn’t do what he wanted right now with mama in the way. some part of him felt irritable at that , but he didn’t have it in him to properly care.