mads

Every night, when one of you would wake the other on the couch, it was always a little talk before she would ask if you were coming upstairs. Some nights, she’d ask you before she went up, opting to skip the nap on the couch entirely.

There was not a singular night since the night she’d first asked you, that you’d slept without her, unless she was away for a match. The touches had become more intimate, you were becoming more comfortable with eachother, but never did either of you once push to be more than just friends.

You’d both gotten the talk from Leah, separately, after a few days of starting to sleep together, in the literal sense of sleeping beside the other. Leah had asked you to go on a walk with her through the local park. You’d worn a baseball cap and sunglasses along with a pair of tracksuit bottoms and Alessia’s Arsenal jacket. You’d only got recognised once and the person just said hello and continued on their walk.

“Is there something going on between you two?” She asked as you shook your head, knowing who she meant.

“Uh” you mumbled.

“I’ve just noticed you haven’t been on the couch any morning in the last few days, usually you both emerge from her room in the mornings now” Leah smirked.

“Just friends” you shrugged. There wasn’t much more to say.

She tried again with Alessia, deciding to get her where she couldn’t escape.

“Is there something going on with you and my sister?” Leah asked in the car on the way to training.

“No” Alessia replied, beginning to twist her rings.

“Do you want there to be?” She questioned the blonde.

“We’re just friends” Alessia sighed. A sigh which wasn’t missed by the defender.

That was about two weeks ago. She’d sort of dropped the questions by now, but made up for it in the relentless teasing.

Leah and Alessia were gone a good bit now that they were training and playing matches again. Sometimes it was just you in the house all day and night if they had an away fixture. While it was nice to have time alone, you felt like you were still in the comfort of someone else’s home. You longed for something more than what your current living situation was.

-

You’d all opted not to watch a movie or catch up on a series the night before they were due to go to a game in Manchester. Leah was strict with her sleeping schedule when it came to game day prep.

You’d spent all day apologising to both of them for not being able to make it, claiming you had some errands to run. You hadn’t told either of them, but you were planning on buying a house in London. You needed your own space because you didn’t plan to be in America anytime soon and you couldn’t take this back and forth with Alessia anymore.

You were scrolling on your phone, looking at property listings, when Alessia came in. She wished you would just take the hint and stop getting into the sofa bed every night.

“Hi” she smiled as you placed your phone down on the bed and turned toward her.

“Hey” you replied. You couldn’t help but smile whenever you looked at her.

“Are you coming to bed?” She asked as you looked around the sofa bed with a smirk as she rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean” she giggled.

“Yeah, just give me two minutes” you replied as she left with a smile. She headed back up the stairs to get ready for bed while you sat with your thoughts for a few minutes.

Some nights you wondered what she would do if you didn’t come upstairs or how she’d react if you told her you couldn’t stop thinking about her. But mostly, you thought about how she’d react if you told her you thought you were in love with her.

Now, you were mainly worried about how she was going to react when you told her you’d planned to buy your own place.

You stood up, grabbing your phone off the bed and making your way upstairs and passing Leah as she was leaving the bathroom.

“Bed time, is it?” She smirked as you stuck the finger up. “Have fun” she laughed.

“Night” you mumbled quietly, before stepping inside Alessia’s room and closing the door. It always started the same when you had both not been on the couch.

She would be changed into shorts and a tshirt, sometimes your ones, and be lying on the bed already scrolling on her phone. You’d be wearing shorts and a hoodie and get in beside her.

You’d both scroll on your phones for a while, usually on TikTok, and turn to show the other things they would like or find funny. Until eventually, one of you would yawn and you’d switch the light off. You’d both shuffle around for a bit before you’d find yourselves cuddled up and be soundly asleep within minutes.

Anna called you the next morning and you groaned at the sound of the buzzing. Alessia’s head was against your chest and your hand was placed on her lower back. One of her arms was rested on your shoulder, her leg swung over your body and your other hand relaxed against her thigh.

You reached over to Alessia’s bedside table to grab your phone and hit the green button.

“Hello” you grunted with a grumpy head, only now realising it was a FaceTime.

“You make my job so difficult” she moaned as you started to become more awake. “I gave you permission to go out with your sister and your friends providing you would be on your best behaviour” She asked.

“What?” You frowned.

“Have you opened a social media app in the last few days?” She laughed as you shrugged. “There’s pictures of you all over there with a blonde girl and you two look very close”

“It’s just-” you began, your tone maybe a bit too loud as you were about to get defensive.

“Can you please be quiet?” Alessia groaned as she moved her hand to begin stroking your face and neck. Her blonde hair and eyes came into the frame of your phone as Anna smirked.

“And look who it is”

“We’re just mates” you replied shaking your head.

“Looks like it” Anna replied with a laugh. “You need to go public about Mel” she informed you.

Alessia recoiled at the sound of her name and you felt her grip become protective around your neck. You began tracing your fingertips across her exposed back as her T-shirt had slightly ridden up.

“Yeah, just nothing in detail about why please” you replied as she already started banging on her laptop, drafting something.

“Also” you knew from the annoyed tone what she was about to say. “I saw you upgraded her accommodation which, I will save for the next time I see you, but FYI she is out of there and in her own place” she stated as you nodded.

“Okay” you moaned, sensing Alessia was uncomfortable.

“Have you spoken to her?” Anna asked as you shook your head.

“No. Since I upgraded her she hasn’t messaged or called. I knew it would make it stop” you informed her.

“She’s with somebody else but they’re waiting on you to announce that you’ve split up before they go public” she said, causing you to just shrug. You didn’t care less what Mel done anymore.

“Just do whatever” you moaned. You flattened your hand on Alessia’s back, sliding it to her hips and pulling her against you, impossibly closer.

“Have you thought anymore about L.A?” She asked, causing Alessia to frown at the words. She knew there was talk of you moving back to L.A but you’d ensured her and Leah that you were happy here.

“I’m staying in London for the foreseeable. I’m actually in the process of house hunting. I’m viewing a property today” you explained.

“You didn’t tell me that” Alessia whispered.

“I told you I was running errands” you laughed looking down at her.

“Well, everything from your old apartment in New York is in the apartment in L.A, so when you do need to be in the States are you okay to go there?” She asked and you nodded.

“Okay, I’ll leave you to it. Send me over anything you have for the new album” she added as you gave her a thumbs up and hung up.

“You’re writing a new album?” Alessia asked as you shrugged.

“I’m sure meant to be” you chuckled, making her smile. “You want to get ready? I’ll go make you some coffee” you asked and she nodded.

She pulled you back by your arm ever so slightly as you got up, you longed for her to just press her lips against yours, but she didn’t. She just smiled and let you go. You met your sister in the kitchen sitting with her and Alessia’s teammate, Lia.

“Hey” you greeted the Swiss girl.

“Hi” she smiled as Leah stood up and handed you a coffee she’d just made for you.

“Cheers” you said taking a sip, giving a quick look around to ensure there was one already made for Alessia, which there was.

“Less awake?” Leah asked as you nodded. She normally teased you each morning about Alessia, but didn’t today due to Lia being here. Maybe you should invite Lia over more often.

“Are you coming to Manchester?” Lia asked as you shook your head.

“I can’t unfortunately. I have a few errands to run” you informed her.

“Errands meaning she doesn’t fancy the three hour drive” Leah teased as you rolled your eyes. You couldn’t really explain now, in front of Lia. What if she took you moving out badly?

You excused yourself to use the bathroom as Alessia jogged down the stairs and into the kitchen.

“Morning” she beamed, grabbing her coffee that she presumed you’d made until she took a sip and realised it was a Leah coffee.

“You seem happy this morning” Lia laughed from the kitchen table.

“She’s been sleeping great lately” Leah smirked as Alessia rolled her eyes. Leah didn’t tease you in front of Lia, but she had no boundaries when it came to Alessia.

“Oh, with your little-” Lia laughed before Alessia cut across her.

“We need to leave soon” Alessia informed the two girls.

They drank their coffees and started to get their stuff together. You re-entered the room as they were starting to shuffle about, throwing coffee into travel mugs and pulling bags over their shoulders.

“Leaving?” You asked from the kitchen door as you were met with a chorus of “yes’” as they all pushed by you to get to the front door.

“Best of luck” you said, standing at the front door now, hugging all three of them goodbye. You hugged Alessia goodbye last, as you gripped her waist and she gripped your shoulders a bit tightly.

“See you tomorrow?” She said as you smiled and nodded, pulling you in tightly before releasing you and running to the backseat of the car. Leah and Lia watched the whole interaction from the front of the car.

“Are you sure they’re just friends?” Lia asked, buckling herself in.

“So they say” Leah laughed.

-

“So as you can see, you’ve got plenty of privacy and it has a really unique, comfortable and modern vibe to it. Something similar to what you had in New York, no? Obviously, the home studio would be a huge advantage to you too, Ms Williamson” the real estate agent smiled.

“What do you think?” Luke, who you’d brought along to view the property with you, asked.

“I mean it is nice, and it’s close to Leah and to you” you nodded in approval. “It’s in my price range too” you said as you bounced on your toes.

“So, Ms Williamson, are you prepared to put a bid in?” She asked as you nodded.

“What do you think would be a reasonable bid that I could move in straight away?” You asked as she hummed.

“So, it’s valued at £2.4 million so I would suggest perhaps £2 million would be a strong bid” she said. Luke knew you had a lot of money, but when you gave her the go ahead to put the bid in, he gulped.

“£2 million. Who’d have ever thought one of us would be able to buy a place like this?” He asked, looking around.

“Not our teachers anyway” you laughed. It was a safe assumption to make that Luke was the more intelligent of you both.

“Maybe the music teacher” he nudged you back with a chuckle.

“How’s work going?” You asked, waiting on the agent to return and watching Luke shrug his shoulders.

“What does that mean?” You huffed. No answer. “Luke” you demanded.

“Yeah, okay, just-” he paused. “There’s a guy who doesn’t seem to like me very much” he explained, and you noticed a sad tone to his voice.

“What? Have you told someone?” You asked, watching him shake his head.

“Hard to when he is your boss” he added as you frowned.

He was working as a marketing executive at Arsenal, specifically for the women’s team. His boss was setting him unrealistic deadlines and targets and blaming him when things were not working out.

“You know, Leah wouldn’t be angry with you if you quit” you informed him.

He was such a people pleaser that he’d probably stay at Arsenal forever, not wanting to let her down as she’d gotten him the job.

“I don’t think I’d be good at anything else” he shrugged.

“That’s stupid” you snapped. “What are they paying you at Arsenal?” You asked as he hesitated.

“43,000 a year” he shrugged as you groaned.

He worked 10 times harder than you’ve ever had to and, here you were, standing in your £2 million house just because you can sing. You knew your background staff were due to take a reshuffle over the next while with people moving on to different artists who had tours and albums set to come soon.

“Come work on my team” you blurted out.

“I know nothing about music” he laughed.

“You’ll figure it out” you crossed your arms. “I’ll pay you ten times what they’re paying you. You can be head of my marketing team. You can set the deadlines and targets” you explained.

“Y/n, you can’t put your career at stake here because you feel sorry for me” he shook his head.

“I don’t feel sorry for you. I miss my best friend when I’m touring and how cool would it be if you could get paid to come with me?” You smiled at the thought of it.

“But, I don’t know anything about that industry or-” you waved away his concerns.

“Anna can explain everything to you. You can learn on the job” you explained.

“Are you sure?” He asked one more time as you nodded.

“Call them right now and quit” you said as you pulled his phone out of his jumper and handed it to him. He walked out of the empty living room, holding the phone up to his ear. Just as he left, the agent came back in.

“Ms Williamson” she said snapping to get your attention. She had the seller on the other line and was holding her phone to her chest. “When did you want to be moved in by?” She asked.

“As soon as possible” you confirmed.

“As soon as possible” she said into the phone followed by a lot of agreeing noises.

“They’ve asked for £2.2 million and you can pick the keys up on today” she relayed back as you gave her a thumbs up.

“Yes, we’re happy with that” she practically sang into the phone. You signed some contracts and wrote a cheque which she whisked off to be cashed and transferred straight away.

“God, that felt good” Luke breathed out as he re-entered the room. “I love you” he said sweeping you into a hug.

“Love you too” you laughed.

“I wonder why your parents thought we were dating?” He smirked. “You know, right before they caught you with my-” he began.

“You promised to let that go” you groaned with a laugh.

“I just find it hilarious you kissed my-” he tried to tease again.

“I will kick you out of my house right now” you punched him.

“Wait, you bought the house?” He shouted, picking you up again.

“I did” you smiled, waving the keys in his face. “I can move things in from today”

“Come on then, let’s go start getting you packed” he grinned, placing you back to the ground.

You could tell in the car he was holding onto something, as he was being more quiet than usual.

“Is everything alright?” You asked as he nodded with a smirk. “You have 10 seconds” you crossed your arms, leaning your head against the head rest.

“My sister of all people, the annoying little moan. What was going through your mind when you decided to kiss her?” He laughed as you shook your head.

“Say whatever you want, your sister is still so hot and I was 15” you laughed as he gagged.

“God, America changed you. Who uses words like hot?” he mocked the American type accent you’d picked up, that would fade while you were home. It had almost completely disappeared.

-

You went by your parent’s house to start packing up your stuff that was still there. Most of it was at Leah’s now, so there wasn’t a lot.

“Baby girl, I’m so proud of you. Look at how self sufficient you are with your own house at such a young age and-” your dad was so happy.

“Dad, please” you begged him to stop.

“What? Luke doesn’t mind me bragging. Do you Luke?” Your dad asked. Luke had always been terrified of your dad.

“No, sir” he replied.

“Good man” he shouted as he continued on. You and Luke slumped onto the guest bed, after packing everything that you had left at your parents.

“I’m thinking, let’s bring this stuff to the new house and then-” you smirked.

“We go back to Leah’s house” he laughed as you nodded.

“We can eat all their food” you laughed

“Drink all their alcohol” he added as you fist bumped and got up. You trotted downstairs but your mum and dad had already left, on the way up to Leah’s game which was kicking off in a few hours.

Luke drove you back to your newly bought house as you left the suitcases and boxes inside, before heading back to Leah’s. You decided to order food while the chief Italian was out of the house and couldn’t give out to you for ordering pizza. Although, by now you’d become accustomed to her cooking and nothing could really match up to it.

You had a few drinks and some snacks as you began to tackle the many clothes that were spread between the living room and Alessia’s room. You packed everything that was in Leah’s house while you had the Man City vs Arsenal game on. You were mindful to leave the hoodies and T-shirts that Alessia would normally steal from you to sleep in or just laze around in.

The living room was completely covered in suitcases and boxes, as you peered through them to watch the game. You both being Arsenal fans, you were having a hard time focusing on what you were exactly packing and where it was going. Unpacking these boxes would be fun.

You’d agreed at the beginning of the match to play a drinking game.

“Anytime Lessi falls, drink” Luke laughed.

“Anytime Leah claps, drink” you added.

“Jesus, with just them two rules we will be done for” he couldn’t control his laughter.

“Assist, neck half your drink” you smirked, adding more rules even though you were 4 drinks in already.

“Christ” he laughed “Fine then, a goal you down your entire drink” he added as you clinked glasses. The rest of the time was filled with you piling things into boxes as one of you would shout

“She clapped, drink” and so on.

The match ended 2-1 to Arsenal, Alessia scoring the winner. Her face played over and over on the screen, as you both watched on with blurry eyes and a sore head.

Both of you had fallen asleep for a little while, eventually waking up on the couch, snuggled up, boxes packed around you with football highlights playing in the background. You’d both only slept for about 30 minutes, but you felt worse than you did when you fell asleep. You’d sobered up a bit but your head was pounding.

“Hey, Y/n?” Luke hummed as your head pressed against his shoulder. You were exhausted from packing, and the pounding headache from the alcohol was not helping.

“Yeah?” You whispered, rubbing your eyes.

“Remember a little while ago, when we were here, you asked me something about Lessi but then Leah came in?” You’d hoped he’d forgotten about that. You nodded at him to continue.

“What were you going to say?” He asked.

You took your head off of his shoulder and stood up, beginning to pace. The Williamson sign of being so stressed out that you couldn’t function properly.

“I guess, at that point I didn’t really understand how I was feeling about her. I thought maybe I liked her or maybe she liked me. But it was so soon after Mel and then, literally that night, Mel called to tell me she loved me still and then Alessia kissed that girl. But she hasn’t kissed anybody else since we argued about it. But, could you even call that an argument? Like okay, we shouted at each other and stuff but, anyway, our relationship is good now. It’s just friends but it’s nice” you took a breath

“Oh, I so regret asking” he laughed as you could only force a smile and a shake of your head.

“You know, I’ve known you my whole life. I can probably say I know you better than the vast majority of people, right?” He asked as you nodded. “You aren’t great at hiding the fact you like her” he said as your phone began to buzz, Alessia’s phone ID appearing.

A photo of the both of you lying in bed with her head on your chest and you frowning looking into the camera as she was taking the picture, was her contact photo.

“And she isn’t the best at hiding her feelings for you either” he laughed as he headed towards the kitchen to grab you both some tea, to sober you both up.

“Hey” she squealed when you answered the phone.

“Hey, superstar, you played great” you grinned.

“But my sister played so much better” Leah mocked from beside her.

“You played? I didn’t see you” You teased back as she scoffed and flew the middle finger up at you.

“What’s going on with all the boxes?” Alessia asked as Leah looked by you and around the room.

“What the fuck have you done to my house?” Leah shouted.

“Well, I’d planned to wait until you came home to tell you” you began.

“Hey Y/n, should we throw a party in your new house?” Luke asked coming in with two mugs of tea.

“You bought the house?” Alessia squealed.

“Wait, what? You bought a house?” Leah gasped as you nodded, Luke mouthing a quick apology. “Where?” Leah asked.

“About 10 minutes from you” you smiled.

“In London?” Leah shouted as you laughed and nodded.

“Luke has news too” you replied handing him the phone.

“Hello” he laughed, with a biscuit in his mouth.

“What’s your news?” Leah asked.

“I got a new job” he replied.

“You’re leaving Arsenal?” Alessia pouted as he nodded.

“Where are you going?” Leah asked as he looked towards you.

“He’s my new marketing manager” you smirked.

“I hope she plans on paying you well” Alessia teased.

“We will all miss you here, man” Leah shouted.

“Everyone” Leah got the attention of the entire bus. “Luke from marketing is leaving” Leah announced.

A round of “no” with the held ‘o’ sound held and “omgs” bounced around the bus.

“The fit one?” Someone shouted as Leah and Alessia uncontrollably started laughing.

“Maybe we could both date footballers?” Luke whispered as you punched him.

You and Luke had stayed up late, getting into a deep chat about how you were feeling about Alessia, but you couldn’t push past the fact that you were just friends. No matter how hard he tried to convince you otherwise. He took Leah’s bed and you slept in what you were deeming as your bed, in Alessia’s room.

-

The football duo arrived home around noon the next day to find you both still in bed. Leah’s approach with Luke was very big sisterly, retorting to jumping on top of him to wake him up. Alessia, instead, insisted on slipping in beside you and waking you up in a more relaxed way. You felt her worm her way into your arms as you woke.

“When did you get home?” You asked, pulling her against you.

“A few minutes ago. It’s almost midday, are you trying to act like a spoiled little pop star sleeping in until noon?” She teased. “I’m sure your new marketing manager wouldn’t be happy with this” she giggled.

“Leah, what the fuck man?” Luke shouted as Leah jumped on him.

“I think he’ll be fine” you laughed as she began running her hands through your hair, head pressed against your chest.

“Don’t make me jump on both of you too” Leah said from the door, with Luke standing beside her rubbing his arm. Alessia giggled and stood up, pulling you with her.

You took them to your new place to show them around, the house being so big it required a full blown tour.

“Jesus Christ, how much did you pay for this?” Leah asked, taking in her surroundings.

“Not that much” you mumbled as you continued to show them around. Leah grabbed Luke’s arm and pulled him back.

“How much did she pay for it?” She asked.

“2.2” he replied.

“Million?” Leah shouted as you and Alessia turned, a frown directed at Luke. He couldn’t help it, him and Leah were really close, she was like his older sister too.

“Yeah, £2.2 million” you replied as Alessia’s ocean blue eyes found yours. You quickly broke the eye contact and looked towards the ground.

“When are you moving?” Alessia whispered.

“I get the keys on Wednesday” you smiled. “You want to see something cool?” you whispered.

You looked towards Leah and Luke who were wrapped up in conversation, as Alessia nodded. The two of you snuck off, down to your unfurnished home studio that had just some shitty guitars and a keyboard in there.

You explained what you’d planned to do to the room, pointing to different places and showing her pictures of speakers and equipment.

“That sounds amazing” Alessia smiled, pretending like she knew what you meant by it all.

“Can you play?” you asked her as you seen her fiddling at your guitars, but the girl giggled and shook her head.

“I could, uh, I could teach you” you stuttered.

“I’ve heard you’re a shit teacher” she smirked.

“No, she’s just a shit student” you laughed. You were teaching Leah to play piano and at certain points you felt like slamming the lid of your piano on her hands.

“Could you play me something?” She asked, handing you a guitar and not giving you much of an option.

“I can certainly try” you said, taking the guitar and making her blush. “What song?” You asked as she shrugged.

“I liked that one you played that day at the fashion show, is it ‘London’?” She asked as you nodded and began playing.

She was singing along to the words with you as you strummed the tune and sang the words to your chart topping song.

Cause sometimes when it’s cold in California

I think back to that winter with you.

Cause living in Los Angeles the sky is always blue

Sometimes I miss London

Sometimes I miss you

“You can sing, you know” you smirked at her as she shook her head. “No, I’m being serious” you laughed, putting the guitar down on its holder.

“What did you write that about?” She asked.

“I guess when I moved away, I was pretty sad. Jacob and I fought for days and days about it and I just felt this huge sense of guilt for leaving him” you shrugged.

“You shouldn’t feel guilty for going after what you wanted” she sighed and mindlessly held your hands.

“I know, but then he moved to Australia, so even when I came home he wasn’t here and I thought maybe if I’d have stayed, he might not have left” she gripped your hands tighter.

You looked directly at her lips, and you swore her eyes were locked to yours too. You seen her nod, as if to almost give you permission and you began to lean in.

“Where the hell are you two?” Leah shouted as you both immediately pulled back, Alessia let go of your hands so quickly it was like they hadn’t even been there.

“Oh a keyboard” Leah smirked as you stood up to push her out of the room.

“No, please no. Not today” you laughed as she pulled you out of the studio and back upstairs. Alessia was left stumped on the desk chair.

“You okay, Lessi?” Luke asked, pulling her out of a trance as she stood up and nodded.

-

When it got to Wednesday, you had everything moved in and some furniture already set up in the house. All the bedrooms were liveable as was the living room and kitchen.

The three of them stayed with you on the first night. It was a three bedroom house so Luke and Leah slept in separate rooms and Alessia opted to sleep next to you, not that you gave her much choice.

“This is your room for when you stay” you crossed your arms and smirked as Leah skipped around the room.

“Can I decorate?” She asked as you nodded.

“It’s your room, do whatever you want” you laughed before leading Luke to his room.

“This one is yours” you said.

“Oh my god” he shouted. “How did you remember?” He sprinted into the room as you began laughing.

“What did you do?” Alessia asked as you pushed the door open. It was a race car bed, but for an adult.

“When I was younger, I begged my parents for one and they always said no” he laughed, already tucked up in it. “Oh my god I’m so happy right now” he shouted.

“Come on” you said sticking out your hand for her to take. She slid her hand into yours, interlocking your fingers. “This one is our one” you smiled as she put her bag on the bed.

“Our?” Alessia asked.

“Is that alright?” You replied as she nodded. “Are we having a movie night or are you two happy in your rooms?” You shouted. Leah had already set up the new PlayStation in her room and Luke was tucked up in his race car watching tv.

“I’m not leaving” Luke shouted.

“I’m busy” Leah shouted.

“Guess it’s just us” you shrugged as she laughed. It wasn’t too long into the movie you were both asleep, in your shared bed in your shared room, for when she would stay over.

They left the next day and all went back to their own homes. As much as you loved their company, you finally had a minute to yourself again. The first minute you weren’t occupying someone else’s home or time since you moved back to London.

You walked down to your home studio and picked up your favourite guitar and began strumming to no particular melody.

What do you want this album to say? What story do you want to tell?

A lot had happened since you wrote your first two albums, you had a lot of great songs but the vast majority of them had been about a person you no longer loved. This was your chance to branch out and tell the world what the last few years had really been like. Moving away, being with Mel, breaking up with Mel and now being in London.

But after days of solo writing sessions, you were still staring at blank pages with no music or lyrics written. You didn’t even have thoughts for songs, just that idea of what you wanted to say.

-

It was around 5pm on Monday when Leah called you. She hadn’t heard from you properly in a few days because you had tried to lock yourself away to try and write something, anything.

“Hey” you replied as you answered.

“Hey, you want to grab some dinner or something?” She asked as you nodded, putting down the guitar. “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to write. Do you want to hear what I have so far?” You smiled as she began nodding and getting comfortable in her seat, surprised you were allowing her to hear anything.

You let silence fill the air for a few seconds.

“What did you think?” You smirked.

“Oh fuck sake man” Leah laughed. “Anna is going to kill you” she said as you nodded in agreement. “Maybe let’s skip dinner until you have at least a sentence written” she said.

“I’ve no idea what to write about” you shrugged. “I want to tell my story of like the last few years, moving away, being with Mel, you know? I want people to know everything but subtly”

“Does it have to all be from your perspective?” She asked.

“What do you mean?” You frowned.

“Like, for example, you can sing all you want about how hard it was for you to move away, but it was hard for me when you moved too” she informed you. It was like something clicked right then.

“Leah, you fucking genius” you shouted.

“What can I say? I got all the brains and all the talent in this family” she shrugged.

“I’m sending you over the details now” he said, banging on his laptop. He’d passed the details all to your email and you had a quick scan through. You saw there were a few people from different clubs also going to be in attendance, a few of your England teammates from other clubs. It seemed like it was one player from each team in the league.

“Where is this on?” You asked, raising your eyebrows.

“Thankfully for you, it’s in London” he smiled.

You’d been playing for Arsenal for two years now and were really starting to come into yourself. Your form at club level had got you into the squad during the Summer for the Euros and even got you a few minutes on the pitch throughout the tournament. Your sights were set this season on making sure you were in that World Cup squad, and fighting for a first team place.

-

The event was for primary school girls, getting them interested in playing or staying in football. You were one of the last to arrive, and immediately a flock of young girls ran over to you, trying to hug you and grab at you.

“Girls, please. Not again” a teacher pleaded, trying to shoo the group back to the centre. “Sorry, they are just very excited” she laughed.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it” you chuckled, walking towards the rest of the footballers. You noticed Niamh from Chelsea, Hannah from Villa and Alessia from United were all lumped together chatting and made your way over to them.

“Hey” you smiled at them.

“Oh, you got stuck doing this too then?” Niamh laughed while the four of you looked around at the literal hundreds of kids running about with teachers trying their best to keep them still.

“It’ll be fun” Alessia giggled, punching Niamh into the arm.

“I’m with Less on this one” you smiled at the blonde.

“I’m with Less on this one” Niamh mocked you as her and Hannah laughed and you rolled your eyes at her. “You always side with her”

“I liked it better when you were at Liverpool and out of my face for the majority of the season” you squeezed her shoulders as you ran off towards a group and started high fiving all the little kids.

You and Niamh were together a lot since her move to London. You got on well and usually were roommates on England camps and had been since you were kids. Alessia always shared with Ella, but you two were close enough as well. You got on with Alessia and Ella, you just never normally got to spend time with just one of them.

There was 12 groups and each one of you were positioned at 1 of the 12 stations with a different exercise each set up to coach. Each group got 10 minutes with a player and then moved on to the next one. You had Niamh to the left of you and Alessia to the right of you. Hannah was over towards the goal.

To anybody that didn’t know you, they probably would have said you weren’t so great working with kids. You had the signature Williamson frown perfected and you were a bit bigger than your older sister. But you were hands down the best coach on the day. You were joining in on the drills, getting their teachers involved. You were making the kids laugh their heads off and just have fun playing football. The kids would all start moaning when the 10 minute session with you would end and they’d have to move on.

“Come on, you’re going to Alessia next. She’s way more fun than I am” you’d shout each and every time making them all cheer and run towards the blonde, who only matched their excitement. Alessia would spend most of her session dishing out high fives and excited cheers which was all the encouragement the young girls needed.

The school’s had been told that you all wouldn’t have time to stay and take pictures or sign autographs individually for each child, but could do group ones with classes. Only, you were more than happy to sign or do whatever. It was just in your nature, you were a genuine good person. It was something Leah had drilled into you early on to always be kind, especially to little kids. Eventually all the kids had been collected and a few of the girls with long drives had headed off.

All that was left now was you, Alessia, Niamh, Esme and Hannah, as well as a few teachers and people from the FA.

“Do you need a hand?” You asked the same teacher who’d dragged her class off of you this morning. She was clearly new to teaching, she was no older than you were.

“Would you mind?” She asked as you shook your head with a smile. You got her to hold open the ball bag as you booted the balls into it, making sure to do it gently so as to not accidentally hit her with one.

“I wish I had one of you every week” she laughed.

“I’m sure England wouldn’t mind loaning me out to the school” you shrugged with a chuckle.

“You were actually great with them. I’ve never seen them so happy” she smiled. She had a nice smile.

“It was definitely easier dealing with them for two hours than it was dealing with my teammates in fairness” you joked.

You two were chatting and flirting a bit as you walked in from the Astro to the store room in the PE hall.

“She just can’t help herself” Niamh playfully sighed as the group all watched you walk into the school with the teacher. Niamh was well aware, after one too many nights out together in London, that you weren’t looking to settle down with anyone. She joked that you should get it’s nothing serious tattooed across your forehead.

“She’s just helpful” Alessia shrugged.

“When the person is attractive” Niamh bit back, as they followed you inside.

“I know you probably don’t give it out, but would I be able to get your number or something?” She asked.

“Yeah, gimme your phone” you smirked, typing your number into her phone.

“I’ll text you” she smiled as you dropped the bag into the storeroom and headed out of the PE Hall.

“Come on, Romeo” Niamh shouted as you said goodbye and jogged over to the group. “Did you just get that teacher’s number?” She laughed.

“For educational purposes” you shrugged with a smirk.

You’d all walked out to the car park to where you and Niamh’s cars were parked.

“See you at camp in a few weeks, mate” Niamh said.

“I’ll see you on Wednesday you muppet” laughing at the girl who’d clearly forgotten you’d agreed to go for lunch.

“Oh, yeah” she chuckled. “See you then”. She headed off with Hannah and Esme, agreeing to drop them to the train, all of you shouting your goodbyes to each other.

“You waiting for someone, Less?” You asked. You and the Man United forward got on well. Not well enough you’d call yourselves friends, but work colleagues you’d occasionally text or do things in a group setting.

“My agent was meant to be picking me up but is held up somewhere. I’m staying in London tonight cause I have a photoshoot in the morning. I’m just waiting on a taxi to bring me to a hotel” she sighed, gripping onto her suitcase which they were obviously holding at the school’s reception for her.

“Come on, I’ll drive you” you smiled.

“No no, don’t worry, honestly, I’ll-”

“Get in the car” you opened the passenger door as she eventually gave up arguing and got in. “What hotel?” You asked.

“He hasn’t booked it yet, I’m waiting on him to send me the details” she groaned.

“You want to just stay in mine? I have a spare room” you asked as she looked at you funny.

“I couldn’t ask you that” she shook her head.

“I’m offering” you shrugged. “Even if you want to just come and chill until he’s sent you the details of the hotel”

“Yeah, okay” she smiled.

“So, how’s Manchester? How’s your boyfriend?” You teased. Alessia was a really affectionate person, and when she was in love, she’d never shut up about the person.

“Manchester’s good. Patrick’s good” she giggled. That set her off on a tangent for the entire drive home about holidays they had booked, and they were planning on buying a house together in the next few months.

“You’re not seeing anybody right now, are you?” She asked as you laughed.

“Nah, I’m good” you smirked.

“Did you not get that teacher’s number back there?” She snickered, punching you lightly in the arm.

“Yeah, but you know, it’s nothing serious” you shrugged, pulling into the driveway of your house. You grabbed Alessia’s suitcase from the back, and tossed her the house key, gesturing her up towards the door. You got her stuff in, and showed her the spare bedroom and bathroom if she wanted to shower and have a nap.

“I’m just gonna make dinner, do you want some?” You asked as she frowned.

“You can cook?”

“Yeah?” You raised your eyebrows with a chuckle.

“Leah could learn something from you” she laughed, walking off into the bathroom to take a shower.

You’d just thrown dinner into the oven when a text chimed in on your phone.

Alessia

Big favour

Bigger than letting me chill in your house and not abandoning me in London 😂

I forgot to pack clothes for sitting around in, could I borrow something?

You walked upstairs and grabbed a few different things from your wardrobe and left them outside the spare bedroom’s door.

“They’re outside Less, take whatever you want” you shouted as you jogged back downstairs, hearing a distant thanks being shouted back.

A few minutes later, she surfaced back down in the kitchen, now wearing a pair of your shorts and hoodie.

“Arsenal gear looks good on you” you smirked as she rolled her eyes at you.

“What are you making? Can I help?” She asked. Alessia was Italian in some way shape or form, so when she saw pasta, she was straight over to the pot you had boiling to pour it in.

“Oh I love this song. Turn it up” she giggled. You pulled your phone out of your pocket to increase the volume, turning it up on the speaker it was blasting from. The two of you were just messing around, cooking, dancing and singing.

“Be back in a second, keep your eye on this while I’m gone” you said, excusing yourself to go to the bathroom.

She waltzed across the kitchen to take over what you had been cooking and felt her phone buzz in her your hoodie pocket.

“Hello?” She answered.

“Lessi, I’m so sorry I got stuck in a meeting. I will get that hotel sorted for you now. Where are you?” Her agent shouted, clearly in a car using his Bluetooth. She bounced on the balls of her feet for a few seconds. She was having a really nice time with you, and didn’t really want it to come to an end.

“I, um, I’m in Y/n’s house” she whispered.

“Y/n? As in Williamson?” He asked.

“Yeah” she nodded, despite him not being able to see.

“Okay, well text me her address and I’ll come and get you” he said.

“If it’s okay, I think I might just stay”

“You sure?”

“Yeah”

“Okay, well send me the address anyway. I’ll pick you up in the morning” he called out as Alessia nodded. You’d came back in just as she hung up and she’d turned back to the cooking.

“You alright?” You asked, giving her a scare as she’d not heard you come in.

“Jesus Y/n” she giggled, trying to catch her breath. You laughed back, but stayed silent, waiting for her to answer your original question.

“My agent just called” she said, stirring the vegetables.

“Oh yeah? He picking you up?” You asked. You’re not sure why, but you felt a bit deflated that she was going to be leaving. Alessia doesn’t really know why she wanted to stay either or why she lied to you, but she did it anyway.

“He couldn’t sort a hotel, but I told him you said I could stay here, if that’s still okay?” She smiled as you nodded back at her.

“Well, if you’re staying and you seem to have a better grasp of cooking than me, I might nip to the shops and grab some bits then” you said, as you headed to the hall to put your runners on.

“What do you like?” You asked.

“You don’t need to get me anything” she waved her hands with a chuckle.

“Well, I’m coming back with something, so it would be better if it was something you liked” you shrugged with a smirk.

“Just a Pepsi max and a dairy milk” she smiled as you nodded and headed out.

You weren’t gone long, but she’d plated up dinner and was already tucked up comfortable on your couch, waiting for you.

“Honey, I’m home” you laughed as you walked through the living room door and threw her a bag filled to the top with dairy milks. You also placed a full crate of Pepsi max infront of her.

“I asked for a Pepsi max and a dairy milk, as in one Pepsi max and one normal sized dairy milk” she giggled, throwing one of the giant dairy milk bars back at you from the bag.

You laughed at her with an awkward shrug, heading into the kitchen and grabbing both of your plates of dinner that she’d left in the oven to keep warm. The rest of the night was pretty much spent cooped up on the couch watching movies.

The first one you both sat on opposite sides of the couch, the second one you’d eventually agreed to let Alessia cuddle into you. Whenever you were with her on any mode of transport she was always tucked into whoever she was beside. Like you already knew, she was affectionate around people she was comfortable with.

You’d drifted off during the third film, and woke to the feeling of Alessia pushing off you to answer her phone.

“It’s Patrick” she said, but you noticed her perky tone.

“Yeah, go ahead. I’ll catch you in the morning” you smiled as she headed off and up to the spare room.

-

She left the next morning, hugging you goodbye at the door and thanking you for last night. You threw the rest of the crate of Pepsi max in the back of her agent’s car, as there was no use in you keeping it.

You and Alessia now seemed to be friends, texting or talking on the phone everyday. But she lived in Manchester and wasn’t easily accessible to hang out with.

She was in Manchester with Patrick and you were in London with your new girlfriend. You eventually got a text from the teacher, who you learned was called Jamie. You ended up really liking her, and asked her out, officially, after a few dates.

It was just annoying the next time you saw Alessia, she was wheeling away in celebration after scoring the winner against you at a packed out Emirates. You punched the ground in frustration as the ball hit the back of the net, knowing that goal could be her ticket to the World Cup and the reason you would stay at home. But you couldn’t be angry with her when she came up behind you and wrapped her arms around you.

“Hello stranger” she giggled against your shoulder.

“Boo, get off” you huffed, gently pushing her away.

“Oh don’t be mad, you’d much rather see me win the league than Chelsea, wouldn’t you?” She smirked.

“I’m not answering that” you shook your head.

“We still on for later?” She asked as you smiled and nodded at her. “Not too busy with your girlfriend?” She teased.

“Fuck off, Lessi” you groaned, releasing a slight laugh.

“We will get through the third one tonight” she laughed as she squeezed your shoulder and headed back towards the changing rooms. She was referring to the third instalment of the movie you never finished due to Patrick interrupting.

“You and Less seem close all of a sudden?” Leah frowned as you shrugged. “You know she has a boyfriend?” She asked.

“Yes I’m aware, seeming as he is all she talks about” you laughed. “We did some community event together awhile ago and she ended up staying in mine because of some issue with her hotel. We’ve just been talking since then”

“You know she has a boyfriend though?” Leah repeated.

“I’m not into her” you groaned. “I’ve actually been seeing someone” you shrugged.

“And you haven’t told me? What type of a sibling are you?” Leah frowned and punched your arm. “Who is she playing for?” Leah asked.

“She’s not a footballer” you shook your head. “She’s a teacher. We met at the community thing and have been on a few dates”

“I’m waiting for you to say your typical ‘it’s nothing serious’ line” Leah laughed.

“Well, it is serious. She’s my girlfriend” you shrugged.

“What the hell has happened to you?” Leah shouted after you as you both walked towards the changing room.

It took a few months, but you and Alessia eventually finished that third movie you’d started when she’d stayed over. Only this time, it wasn’t Patrick that interrupted, but Jamie. It also wasn’t a phone call, but a knock on the door.

“Oh, hey Jamz” you smiled as you opened the door. You weren’t taken aback even slightly by the unexpected arrival.

“Hi baby, sorry for showing up. I was on the way home and my phone died and you were closer than-” she explained.

“You don’t need to make up an excuse up because you wanted to spend the night” you teased, earning you a playful scowl which very quickly turned to a kiss.

“I’ll go grab you a charger, make yourself comfy” you jogged upstairs to grab your phone charger as Jamie headed into the living room, not expecting anybody to be here.

“Um, hi” Jamie frowned at the sight of another girl your house, until she realised who it was.

“Oh, hello” Alessia smiled. “I’m Alessia” she stood up and stuck out her hand.

“Jamie” she smiled back and shook the blonde’s hand. “Nice to finally meet you”

“You too” Alessia replied. “Y/n didn’t say you were coming”

“I wasn’t meant to, but-” she tried to explain.

“Her phone died so now she has to spend the night” you smirked, handing her the phone charger.

“My phone did die” she protested.

“Yeah, yeah” you laughed, gripping her waist and kissing her cheek. Alessia noticed you and Jamie were very well suited together. She was just surprised how naturally you took to affection.

“Sit down, I’ll get you some tea. Less, want something?” You asked. “Let me guess, a Pepsi” you laughed, speaking in her tone of voice and walking to the kitchen.

“God, how do you put up with her all the time?” Alessia giggled.

“With great difficulty” Jamie replied sarcastically. “What are you guys watching?” She asked.

“Pitch perfect 3” Alessia explained. “Will we put it back to the beginning?”

“No, no, don’t worry. I’ve seen it before” Jamie smiled, as she plugged her phone in and sat down beside Alessia.

You came back into the room, placing the cold can of Pepsi against Alessia’s neck, making her jump out of her skin. Your approach with Jamie was a lot nicer, handing her the mug of tea with a kiss.

“Up Russo and sit in the single person chair” you threw her can onto the chair, almost like you were asking her to fetch it.

“Hey, I’m not single” She shouted with a laugh.

“Oh you have a boyfriend? You’ve never mentioned him before” you rolled your eyes, thinking about every second word out of her mouth being his name.

“Oh sweet, you have a boyfriend? What’s his name?” Jamie smiled.

“Oh, here we go” you groaned, earning a gentle shove from Jamie.

After a 25 minute conversation about Patrick, eventually, you restarted the movie, giving in to Alessia’s protests to put it back to the beginning so Jamie could get the full experience.

You dropped Alessia back to the team hotel the next morning. She made you promise you would never have to share a wall again when Jamie was over and you just laughed at her for the entire car journey.

-

England camp was only a few weeks later and the minute she saw you she practically sprinted from Ella’s side and jumped into your arms.

“Hey bestie” she giggled.

“Hey loser” you grinned, placing her gently back on the ground.

Lucy started gesturing with her hands to Ella and Lotte, teasing them both about being replaced as Alessia’s best friend.

“You’re not going to hug the better Williamson, no?” Leah smirked.

“She just did” you shrugged.

“Shut up man, you’re so annoying” Leah groaned.

“I’ve put you two down to share this camp, is that alright?” Leah asked. You never really cared who you shared with. Sometimes you shared with Leah, but it was mostly with Niamh, who was taking this adjustment harder than you were.

“What’s this?” Niamh shouted, holding a piece of paper. “Less, can we swap?” She asked.

“Stop being a baby, Niamhy” you laughed. “You’re sharing with Hempo, you two are mates” you shrugged, pointing to both of their names on the sheet she was holding.

“Leah Williamson, how could you do this to me?” Ella snapped. “You’ve taken Less away from me for what? And put me by myself?”

“Jesus Christ, do whatever you want” Leah groaned, walking back towards Georgia and Keira.

“Can you two grow up?” You frowned. “Who cares who’s sharing with who?”.

“Well, if you don’t care, then swap with me” Ella bit back.

“Fine. Give me your stupid fucking key” you held out your hand and she placed the key to your new room in it.

You didn’t even look at Alessia as you stormed off and up to your room. Ella didn’t actually have a room mate, as her room just had a double bed, which suited you. You just spent all your downtime on the phone to Jamie.

You’d been pretty much sticking with Leah throughout camp. You were trying to stick with the senior players to learn from them and let Sarina see you slotted in well with the starting XI.

It was after a couple of days on camp, a match day gone already, that you were in a bit of a better mood. You’d seen Jamie at the game, and you’d been put in the starting XI. You’d also just received a message from the person you loved to see pop up on your phone.

Lessi 🐻

Have you forgotten I exist?

Y/n/n 😎

Unfortunately not.

Lessi 🐻

Sooo funny

Open your door

You smirked as you got up to open the door, revealing the smiling blonde forward on the other side.

“Fancy seeing you here” you teased.

“Shut up” she groaned. “You haven’t spoke to me all camp” she poked your collarbone harshly.

“Your friends are annoying” you shrugged.

“I wanted to share the room with you” she sighed.

“Why didn’t you say that then?” You frowned as she was the one to shrug now. You could tell she looked sad, so you softened your tone.

“Is there a pitch perfect 4?” You asked as she looked at you with a smile and shook her head. “You wanna pick something different then?”. Alessia stepped inside and immediately felt a sense of comfort.

“Can I take a hoodie?” She asked as you smirked.

“Yeah, the one on the chair” you mumbled back, trying to contain your laughter.

She jumped onto the bed and took the remote from the stand. It hadn’t been touched since you checked in. You got ready for bed in the bathroom and came back out to find the girl in your hoodie and under the sheets, on her phone with a movie paused. You moved to sit on the armchair in the room as she looked at you funny.

“I’m not going to bite you, get into bed” she giggled.

“Oh no, how would Patrick feel?” You teased as you got in beside her.

Patrick and Jamie had met you both now. They liked that you two were friends. You were different to any of Alessia’s other friends and she was different to yours. Alessia being straight with a boyfriend meant Jamie didn’t have anything to worry about and you having Jamie meant Patrick had nothing to worry about. And they didn’t. You and Alessia were strictly friends, and neither of you saw the other in a different light, not even in the slightest.

You’d both maybe made it 20 minutes into the movie before you’d drifted off, with Alessia snuggled into you.

You woke the next morning, her back pressed to your front and your arm wrapped around her, holding her hand.

“Fuck, Less, wake up” you groaned, although you didn’t move.

“Mmm?” She mumbled tiredly.

“You slept in my room” you grumbled. She checked her phone, using her other hand as you’d still yet to let go of hers, and realised you had enough time to go back to sleep for another two hours.

“Go back to sleep. I’ll text Tooney and tell her I’m in here” she cooed. You mindlessly squeezed her hand as she squirmed in your hold, trying to push herself further against you.

Your alarm went off two hours later, and startled the two of you as you woke. You’d finally released the grip on her hand to turn the alarm off.

“Sleep okay?” You hummed.

“Yeah, you?” She smiled and you nodded back at her. “I’m going to head back to my room to get ready for breakfast. Follow me down?” She ordered as you shot her a thumbs up.

You noticed a few texts from Jamie and you replied quickly to let her know you’d fallen asleep due to Alessia putting on a boring movie. You got up and into your training gear, although it was not a requirement to wear it to breakfast. People could wear whatever they wanted to breakfast as there was a mix of early and late risers. Meanwhile, Alessia had gotten back to her and Ella’s room, to find her best friend dressed and ready to go.

“Oh, nice of you to come back” Ella moaned.

“I fell asleep” Alessia scowled.

“Come on, I’m not waiting” Ella scoffed, pulling the blonde out the door and down the hall.

“Although you could have done with changing that” she laughed, pointing to Alessia’s chest. Alessia obviously didn’t care when she was around you, but now in front of the England team, she was about to walk into breakfast in an Arsenal jumper, your Arsenal jumper, initials and number splashed on the other side of the crest.

“Have a good day at work, don’t let them torment you” you chuckled at your phone, appearing from your door. “Oh, look who’s here” you smiled, catching up to the Alessia and shoving the phone in her face.

“Morning Lessi” Jamie smiled.

“Good morning” Alessia beamed back.

“Alessia Russo, is that an Arsenal jumper? Have you got something to tell us?” Jamie teased.

“Your stupid girlfriend gave me a hoodie to borrow when I was tired and obviously took advantage of me in my moment of need” Alessia glared at you as a smirk grew on your face.

“I did no such thing” you unsuccessfully pleaded your innocence. “Babe, we’re just about to get into breakfast” you slowed down your walk and continued talking to Jamie for a few more minutes before hanging up.

“She seems nice” Ella said.

“She is, they suit each other really well. Just like me and Patrick. Oh actually-” Ella regretted saying anything now as Alessia began to spiral.

Alessia got a right slagging off for wearing your jumper down to breakfast, nearly everyone getting in on the joke, except for one.

“Y/n” Leah frowned, gesturing you over to her.

“What?” You huffed at her, as she had interrupted your conversation with Alessia and taken you away from your breakfast.

“What did I tell you?” She began.

“About what?” You scrunched your face as you spoke.

“Alessia has a boyfriend. You’re making her look bad parading around in your clothes. You’re making yourself look bad, you’ve got a girlfriend” Leah frowned.

“Leah, there’s nothing fucking going on” you shouted, causing a few heads to turn, including the person who was currently the topic of conversation.

“Take it off her then” she snapped.

“You’re an idiot” you mouthed.

You turned on your heels and walked back towards Alessia, taking a seat beside her and going back to your breakfast in silence. You felt Leah’s eyes burn into the back of your head, but you didn’t care. There was nothing going on with Alessia and you didn’t need to keep explaining that.

“Everything okay?” Alessia asked but was only met with a nod and you going back to eating.

-

England camp was over in a flash and all of a sudden you were back at your clubs, preparing to face each other in a few weeks time.

You and Jamie were also becoming more solid and you’d planned to ask her to move in with you, as you’d now been dating for a good few months. Alessia and Patrick were also finalising everything to buy their house in Manchester, after she’d been promised a big contract at United when she stayed in January.

You spent New Year’s in Manchester with the couple, along with Jamie, Ella and her boyfriend, Joe. When pictures of the six of you went up online, that was when Leah came to the realisation that you were actually just friends with Alessia. You were both happy with different people, and not to mention, again, Alessia is straight.

You’d just pulled up to the team hotel in Manchester, when you got a call from the United striker herself.

“Keeping tabs on me Russo? How’d you know to ring when I just arrived at the hotel?” You laughed with a smirk. But the smirk was quickly wiped off your face when you heard her sob on the other end of the phone.

“Less? What’s wrong?” You pouted, pulling away from the group and over to somewhere quiet.

“Patrick broke up with me” she sobbed on the other end of the phone.

“Fuck Less, are you okay? Fuck, I’ll come over” you said, sprinting off to find Jonas and trying to keep her calm on the phone.

Jonas allowed you to leave due to training already being done this morning and the rest of the day was for rest. You needed to be back at the hotel for latest 9pm. A few other girls were also leaving, off to get food or coffee with mates that lived nearby. You’d got a tram and then sprinted to Alessia’s house that she shared with Ella and Millie. You practically banged the door down trying to get someone’s attention, and Ella finally gave in.

“Where’s Less?” You huffed at the smaller girl, who just pointed towards the living room, a bit shell shocked you were actually stood at the door.

You rushed inside, instantly finding Alessia lying on the sofa crying, being consoled by Millie.

“Less” you sighed as she now realised you were here. She didn’t say anything and neither did you, she just stuck her arms out for you to hug her, moving out of Millie’s hold and swiftly into yours. Ella and Millie headed into the kitchen to make tea and food and leave you two alone.

“Thank you for coming over” she sniffled.

“I need to be back for 9pm, but I’ll stay with you tomorrow night okay?” You whispered as she nodded against you.

“You deserve better than him Lessi, you deserve someone amazing” you rubbed the lower part of her back as she continued to cry against your shoulder.

“Could you try help me get to sleep?” She asked. You both headed off to her bedroom, she was clung onto your back as you practically carried her there.

“Have they gone to bed?” Ella asked and her and Millie walked back into the room with enough snacks for four.

“Could they be anymore obvious?” Millie laughed as both girls flopped onto the couch.

“Can I have this?” Alessia asked, tugging the strings of your hoodie

“Yeah, of course. Whatever you need” you smiled, lying down beside her and letting her get comfortable in whatever way she needed.

“I wish you were staying tonight” Alessia mumbled softly.

She pulled your hand around her waist and continued to hold yours, just like the way you woke up at camp a few weeks ago. You’d stayed still for about an hour and a half before you checked your phone. Leah had text saying Jonas needed everyone back and Jamie had sent multiple texts asking if you were alive.

You gently removed yourself from Alessia, careful not to wake her, and groaned at the fact you were not getting the hoodie back. You grabbed one of hers that was on the ground and threw it on before you jogged quietly down the stairs. You poked your head into the living room to say goodbye to the United duo.

“Uh, I need to go but I’ll see you both tomorrow” you announced to the girls who were watching TV.

“Wait” Ella shouted. “Do you have a minute?” She asked as you nodded.

“Are you two-“ Ella continued.

“Mates” you shrugged. “We just became really close really quick, but Less is straight and me and my girlfriend are quite serious” you explained.

“So you don’t like her?” Ella asked.

“I love Less, but just as mates” you stated.

“You’re wearing her jumper” Millie pointed out with a smirk.

“She asked for mine, and I need something to wear to get back” you shrugged. “Speaking of, I do actually need to go” you stood up, taking your phone out of your pocket.

“See you in the morning” Mille smiled, nudging Ella as they both started giggling over something.

You shot Jamie a message explaining the situation on the way back to the hotel. When you got in, you were instantly pulled away from the lobby where the team were by your sister.

“What the fuck are you doing?” She snapped.

“What?” You huffed, pushing her hand off your arm.

“Is that Alessia’s?” She frowned as you looked down, only now realising you’d grabbed the striker’s United hoodie, and just walked into the Arsenal team hotel wearing it.

“Just take it off” Leah grunted as you walked away and went off to your room.

You didn’t budge until the bang at the door the next morning, waking you up to come get breakfast. You trudged down, deciding not to wear Alessia’s jumper as it would definitely cause arguments. You bumped into Jonas on the way there, letting him know you wouldn’t be travelling back on the bus tonight.

You did a walk of the stadium and headed in to get changed. You weren’t in the starting XI today, at this stage you’d probably need something drastic to happen to make it to the World Cup squad. You were sitting opposite Leah in the dressing room who looked more stressed than usual as you both were getting kitted up.

“Lee, you alright?” You asked softly, walking over and bending down to be eye level with her.

“I don’t feel good about today” she shook her head. “I don’t know why” she shrugged. Although Leah was a protective older sister, and the two of you annoyed the shit out of each other, you two were very close.

“You’ll be great. You always are” you smiled, pulling her up and giving her a hug.

The game started lively, both team’s had good chances. You were on the sidelines with your eyes glued to the game, and you weren’t sure why, but they kept wandering to Alessia. Maybe it’s because you were worried about her.

You didn’t see the play, but you knew who the scream belonged to before your head even turned. You shot to your feet, looking at Leah screaming in pain, clutching onto her knee.

“Leah” you shouted, instantly being pulled back by Jen. You knew you couldn’t go on the pitch, but you didn’t care in that moment.

You heard the physios on the sideline talking to the one on the pitch with your sister through their headsets. You heard the three letters fall from their mouth. Your heart sunk and you began breathing heavy, trying to fight back the scream you wanted to let out for her.

“Williamson, get ready” Jonas shouted.

“She’s in no state” Jen tried to explain but he didn’t care.

Your sister was helped to the side of the pitch as you stood pale as a ghost on the sideline watching her limp towards you. Your number was displayed in green on the board, while hers was shown in red.

“Come here” she whispered, pulling you against her and leaning all her body weight against you. “You go and show Sarina it’s you” she poked your chest as she put her arms back around the physio and Kim who helped her down the tunnel.

“You okay?” Alessia asked, when you jogged next to her.

“I don’t know” you replied honestly. Your head was all over the place after watching Leah in that much pain.

“We can go to the hospital when we’re finished, I’ll bring you okay?” She brushed her fingers against your hand as you nodded.

The ball was thrown in and it was game on. United had made it 1-0 just before half time, Alessia scoring the goal. You still weren’t even all there yet to be annoyed you’d went behind. You knew Alessia needed that goal too, you couldn’t get your head into the game at all.

After a pep talk from Kim at half time, you came out all guns blazing in the second half. You didn’t let anything get by you. United didn’t register a singular shot in the second half. Unfortunately, your strikers just couldn’t get you back into the game. Leah had left to go to the hospital, so when the match had ended you and Alessia rushed off to her car and towards the hospital. You both sat in the waiting room all night, her head pressed on your shoulder while you were both drifting in and out.

“You want a cup of tea?” She asked and you nodded. When she headed off, you called Jamie.

“Hi babe, is everything okay?” She asked and you shrugged.

“I’m just at the hospital waiting for Leah” you sighed.

“You played so well under the circumstances” she smiled softly.

“She’s not going to pick me” you shook your head.

“You don’t know that” she pouted. It was all that had been playing on your mind, and she knew it was affecting you every time you saw your name on the bench.

“This isn’t helping either, it was fucking awful” you raised your voice slightly in frustration, referring to Leah’s situation.

“I know baby, I know” she cooed, trying her best to keep you calm, despite your conversation happening through a phone.

“Do you want me to drive to Manchester?” She asked. You debated it for a minute, but you knew the hassle of her having to come up with work to send in for her class so last minute would be too complicated.

“It’s okay. I’ll stay in Alessia’s tonight and come home tomorrow” you shook your head. “I love you” you breathed out.

“I love you too” she said before you both ended the call.

A nurse had just gestured you over before Alessia arrived back, to let you know Leah could leave. You spoke to Leah briefly, she told you she was heading back to London now and had scans in the morning.

“You staying with Less?” She asked and you nodded. She looked over your shoulder to see the blonde was waiting for you at the door.

“God, you two really are attached at the hip” she laughed as you shrugged. You gave her a hug goodbye, as did Alessia, before the United player drove you both home and Leah headed back to London.

“Just go straight up, I’ll be up in a minute” Alessia smiled when you got in, and you nodded, starting to walk towards the staircase.

“Is Leah okay?” Ella asked, as her and Millie jumped out of the living room door like a double act.

“Uh, it’s the ACL” you pouted, pointing at your knee.

“You alright?” Millie asked and you nodded. “We ordered food for you both” she added.

“You didn’t need to do that” you stuttered. “How much do I owe you?” You asked, starting to root through your bag for your wallet.

“Nothing, that’s what mates do for each other” Ella smiled as Millie pulled you into the room.

Alessia eventually followed you in, thanking both of them for the food. The couch in their house was an L shaped one, so you and Alessia lay on the corner stretched out with her pressed against you when you’d finished eating and switched your focus to the TV. The other two didn’t seem to take any notice now of the two of you. When the movie had ended, the three of them stood up, cleaning up and rejecting your offer to help. You pulled out your phone to text Jamie goodnight, before saying goodnight to Ella and Millie as they headed off to their bedrooms.

“You okay?” Alessia asked as you slipped your phone back into your hoodie and stretched out on the couch.

“All good” you smiled. “I’ll see you in the morning?” You asked as she frowned at you.

“You’re not coming to bed?”

“Oh, I just, uh, I just thought I was sleeping here”

“I’d prefer if you were with me” she shook her head at you. You weren’t one to argue, so you jumped up off the couch and followed her upstairs, assuming the usual position and drifting off.

Millie T

I heard 2 sets of footsteps come up 🕵️

Tooney

Did you see them downstairs? 🧐

How long til y/n and her girlfriend break up?

Millie T

I give it a few weeks, max

You told Alessia before you headed home to London the next morning about how you planned to ask Jamie to move in with you in the next few weeks, and to say she was over the moon for you was an understatement. Despite her own relationship breaking down, she loved you and Jamie together.

She sometimes thinks back to the day you and Jamie first met and can’t help but see why Jamie fell for you. Although, she would refuse to let herself think about if someone else could fall for you, someone that had a boyfriend she was in love with, someone who’s never looked at a girl that way before, someone like her.

You decided to wait until all club matches were done and after the final England camp, before there was nothing else you could do to change Sarina’s mind. You invited Jamie over for dinner, and tonight was the night you were going to ask her to move in. You hadn’t told anybody that tonight was the night, not even Alessia or Leah knew. You took a deep breath, before you answered the door with a huge smile plastered on your face.

“Hi” she giggled, stepping in and instantly kissing you.

“Hello” you mumbled in between kisses. “Dinner is just ready” you said, taking her jacket off her shoulders and hanging it up, while she headed towards the kitchen.

You chatted over dinner, laughing and joking like always, before your heart started thumping and your face seemed to be giving you away.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Jamie frowned, placing her hand over yours.

“Jamz, you know, I’m really happy with you and I’m sick of doing this back and forth of your place and my place. I want to move in with you” you blurted out.

“Oh” she breathed out after a few seconds.

“We can live here, or in your place, or somewhere else entirely. I just want to be with you all the time. I’m in love with you and I’ve never felt like this about someone before” you smiled.

“Y/n” she sighed. You knew from that moment it was a mistake. “I think you’re a really great person and I do love you, a lot. I just don’t think I’m ready to take such a big step when in a year or two when your contract is out, who knows where you might end up?” She stated.

“I could get another club here” you shrugged. “I’m working hard to try and get another contract here” you squeezed her hand a little harder this time.

“It’s just a big risk, Y/n. You could have to move away or we might break up and then one of us needs to find somewhere else or I’ll be here on my own” she pouted.

“Just forget I asked okay? You’re right, it’s probably too soon to jump in and then I might be gone all Summer” you smiled weakly, trying to hide how upset you were.

It was silent for a few minutes, both of you no longer touching, and staring at opposite walls in the kitchen.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry” she shook her head. You knew by the look on her face that she wasn’t apologising for not wanting to move in.

“I don’t think-” she began but you waved your hands in the air.

“You don’t need to say it” you interrupted.

“I’m sorry” she repeated.

“Me too” you sighed.

She got up from the table, kissed your cheek and headed out of your house. The kiss was a kiss goodbye. You were single again, and remembering now why you decided dating was a bad idea.

Although you and Alessia were friends, you were very different people. When Patrick broke up with her, she needed you, Ella and Millie. You, however, decided to shut out the world and not speak to anybody.

You’d seen a few calls and texts the last few days come in from different people, just checking in to see if you were okay despite not knowing about the break up. You hadn’t replied to anybody, it was just too painful to look at your phone and see nothing was coming through from Jamie. No calls, no texts, nothing.

Your agent had emailed on the day of the World Cup squad announcement that calls were being made to everyone who had made it and even to those who had not made it. You sat on the couch all day, numbing your brain with shit TV and by the time it reached 8pm, you gave up hope. You weren’t even worth a phone call. You’d just shuffled to get up when Sarina’s contact flashed up on your screen requesting to FaceTime. You pressed answer.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Y/n? It’s Sarina” she announced like you couldn’t see her face right in front of you.

“Hi Sarina, how are you?” You asked.

“I’m good, how are you?” She replied.

“Yeah, I’ve been-” you stuttered. “Yeah” you nodded, but she noticed the look on your face was one of misery.

“Do you need to talk?” She asked as you shook your head. “Well, I’m sure you know why I’m calling” she smiled as you nodded at her this time.

“I do”

“So, obviously the squad, I can only bring 23 players and we have a very competitive squad. We have a lot of players that this might be their last World Cup and we are pushing to reach the final” she explained.

“Yeah, absolutely” you nodded.

“It was a very difficult decision, due to us having a lot of quality players competing for your position, so I ultimately had to make the right choice for the team and the demands of this tournament” she continued.

“Yeah” you sighed. Maybe you could do the Euro’s squad in 2025.

“I’d like to inform you that you have been selected to represent England this summer at the World Cup, if you would like to join us?” She smiled.

“I’m sorry, what?” You rushed out.

“Your performances haven’t gone unnoticed with us here. We think you’d be an integral part of the squad in Australia” she told you.

“Sarina, I don’t know what to say. Thank you so much. You’ll never understand how much this means to me” you shook your head in disbelief.

“Go on, go and tell that sister of yours the good news. I will see you next week” she smiled as you both said your goodbyes and ended the call.

The phone rang and rang until she answered at the final one.

“Y/n what the hell? Where have you been? You’ve been ignoring me for over a week” Leah started shouting and continued until you cut her off.

“Lee, I made the squad”

“And I am sick to death, wait, what did you say?”

“I’m in the squad. I’m in the World Cup squad”

“Holy shit” she shouted. “Have you told Jamie?” She asked.

“Yeah, um, me and Jamie broke up last week” you sighed.

“What? Why didn’t you call me? Are you okay?”

“I just needed a few days to mope around. But I’m okay now”

“Have you told Alessia then?” She asked and you shook your head. “I’ll come by tomorrow, go call her. I think you two need to talk” she smirked. You ended that call with Leah and rang Alessia who answered fairly quickly in comparison to your sister.

“There you are” she took a breath of relief. “I have been worried sick about you” she huffed.

“I’ve just been a bit all over the place” you shrugged. “Did Sarina call you?” You asked as she nodded, with a guilty expression on her face.

“I’m in the squad” she whispered.

“I’m proud of you” you smiled. “You won’t get sick of me in Australia, will you?” You smirked.

“Wait, you’re in? We’re going to a World Cup together?” She shouted as you laughed.

“Are you at home?” She asked as you nodded. “Would you mind if I came over?”

“Why are you in London?” You frowned.

“I’ll explain when I get there” she giggled.

“Yeah, come over” you nodded.

It was a little while later when the girl knocked on your door and instantly fell into your arms.

“It’s so good to see you” she hummed against you.

“You too, Less” you replied softly.

“Is Jamie here? Have you asked her yet?” She smirked.

“Uh” you rubbed the back of your neck awkwardly and bounced on your toes. “Me and Jamie broke up last week” you admitted.

“What? Y/n, oh my god, no” she pouted, pulling you in for hard hug. “I’m so sorry”

“Don’t be, it’s okay. Things happen” you shrugged. “Why did you want to come over? And why are you in London?” You asked.

“Well, you know my contract at United finishes this Summer” she began as she took your hand towards the living room and you both sat down.

“I was interested in staying because me and Patrick were going to buy a house in Manchester, but obviously now we’re not, so I was offered a contract with a London club so I am here to sign that” she smirked.

“You’re moving to London?” You shouted enthusiastically at the idea of your best friend being with you all the time.

“I’m moving to Arsenal” she giggled as your jaw dropped.

“Lessi, holy shit” you shouted, pulling her off the couch and up into your arms. “You can stay with me, you know?” You smiled.

“I was hoping you’d suggest that” she giggled.

“You’re staying tonight, right?” You asked as you both sack back down. She nodded at you before kicking her shoes off and throwing her legs across your lap.

-

At the World Cup, you and Alessia never left each other’s sides for the entirety of the tournament. You’d been going off on walks, to get coffee, and to do something sightseeing together, usually alone. You both were getting game time throughout the tournament and spent most of your nights sneaking off to the other person’s room for a cuddle.

When the whistle blew in the final game of the tournament, you sunk to your knees and punched the ground. You couldn’t believe you’d lost. You felt a pair of hands on your shoulders and instantly knew they were Alessia. You didn’t move or push her off, you just let her do whatever she wanted.

The team had decided to drown their sorrows and you were definitely both packing away more than necessary. You’d both been through serious break ups and now losing the final, you felt like the world was ending.

“You want another one?” You mumbled to Alessia as you stood up and she reached out for your hand.

“Take me back to your room” she slurred, dipping her hands down and into yours. You pulled the girl through the crowded room, through the lobby and up to your bedroom.

“You okay?” You asked as she shook her head.

“We deserved more, we were so close” she mumbled, throwing herself against you to get a hug.

“We’ll be back, you know we will” you tried to smile as you gently rubbed her back. “Why don’t we have a drink, just us two?” You asked, rooting through a bag you’d carried up from downstairs and pulling out a bottle of champagne.

“Obviously these were for if we won” you smirked.

You had just normal glasses in the room, which Alessia held up and you poured the champagne into them, both clinking them off each other before swigging from them. You’d both had a few glasses before the topic of conversation changed to a more serious one. You were both too drunk to have this conversation, but maybe it was all the courage you two needed.

“You never said why you and Jamie broke up” she whispered.

“You never said about you and Patrick” you quipped.

“There was someone else, for him” she explained as you gripped her thigh to try and be comforting.

“She just found my lifestyle too hectic” you sighed as Alessia took your hand.

“Can I tell you something funny?” She asked as you nodded. “The day we did that community event, when I stayed in yours, my agent was going to bring me to a hotel-” she began as you cut across.

“I remember, but there was some type of issue so you stayed with me” you recited.

“There was never an issue, I just didn’t want to leave” she giggled.

“Well, lucky you, you have a key and your own bedroom in our house now” you laughed. Alessia had decided to move in with you on her return to London, just until she found her feet.

“That last part of that sounded good” she whispered.

“Now?” You frowned, repeating the last word you said.

“No, you idiot” Alessia rolled her eyes. “When you called it our house” she explained, running her fingertips along your arm.

“Oh, well, it is our house” you stuttered.

“I want everything with you to be ours” she whispered as she looked you dead in the eye. You’d never looked at Alessia as anything other than your friend, but right now, you couldn’t see her as just that anymore.

“I don’t want to just be friends anymore, Y/n/n” she blurted out.

“Are you sure you want this?” You asked as you saw her lean in with a nod.

The kiss was hungry and you both melted into it. Her hands cupped your face, while yours instantly fell to her ribs. You both needed this, it was obvious that feelings have been there throughout the whole friendship, but this is what you needed to really know. You loved her and she loved you. She pulled away after a few seconds, looking so flustered you thought she was going to run out of the room, or tell you this was a mistake and it was because of the alcohol. But instead, she said

“I think I’ve been in love with you for awhile”

“Yeah, I think that makes two of us” you nodded.

“This can’t be just for fun, especially not if we’re living together” she explained.

“Be with me then” you stated boldly. “Be my girlfriend, and we can keep the spare room for storage for all your stupid clothes” you laughed.

“Did you just ask me out and then ruin it by calling my clothes stupid?” She huffed with a smirk, making you only laugh harder.

“I want to be with you” you hummed.

“Then that’s what we’ll be” she smiled, pressing her lips against yours.

-

Arsenal training was like heaven when you got back home from the World Cup. You were waking up beside your girlfriend every morning, going to training together, coming home together and repeating the next day. It was like this had been in front of you both the entire time, you were just too naïve to see it. Your teammates all knew you were living together, but none of them knew you were dating. You weren’t just going to start announcing it in the changing room, but if someone asked, you wouldn’t lie. That was the agreement you both made.

Leah usually stopped around a lot more when Alessia wasn’t living with you, but she didn’t want to intrude in Alessia’s space, so she’d started stopping around less and less. She’d knocked around on her way home from being out with some girls on the team, of which you and Alessia backed out of due to being preoccupied with lying on your couch watching TV together.

“Anybody in?” Leah shouted, letting herself in the front door.

“Yeah, in here” you called back. You and Alessia were tucked into each other, with her leg draped over you.

“Aren’t you two cosy?” Leah laughed when she walked in and sat down on the armchair in the room.

“Very” Alessia giggled. “Want a cup of tea?” She asked your sister.

“I’d actually love one, thanks Less” Leah smiled. A smile that was quickly wiped off her face when Alessia pushed herself up and off you, and quickly kissed you before shuffling off to the kitchen. “Did you two just kiss?” She frowned at you.

“Yeah” you shrugged, starting to scroll on your phone.

“You’re still trying to convince me you two are just friends and nothing has been going on?” She laughed sarcastically.

“We’ve been dating since the World Cup final” you said like that wasn’t several months ago, and this wasn’t a big deal.

“And you’re only telling me now?” Leah shouted, jumping off her armchair and over to the couch to punch you in the arm.

“What have I missed?” Alessia giggled at the sight of you two.

“You two are dating and neither of you thought to tell me? Haven’t I been through enough with my injury?” She exclaimed as you just laughed and Alessia’s eyes shot to the ground, a guilty expression plastered on her face.

“Do you not approve or something?” You teased with a smirk as Leah hit you again. Alessia looked like she was going to cry.

“Do you not like me, Lee?” Alessia asked, as Leah’s face softened and you looked at her with an instant worried expression.

“What?” Leah replied.

“She thinks you’re being fucking serious” you hit your sister back, and not playfully like she had been doing to you.

“No Lessi, of course I like you” your sister said. “I just thought my ACL was the worst thing that could happen to me, but someone I thought was so smart and had such a bright future ahead of them, decided to date my sister” Leah smirked as Alessia started to giggle.

“Fuck you” you shouted, springing up off the couch as Leah sprinted out of the living room and into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. “Shes such a pain” you moaned as your giggling girlfriend pulled you into a hug.

“Yes, but she is your sister. Your sister that now knows I’m your girlfriend” she smiled.

“I’ll never get sick of hearing you say that” you said softly.

“Maybe we should tell the team, before she does” Alessia laughed as you nodded.

Your phones both buzzed simultaneously as you both check the notification on your watches.

AWFC ⚽️❤️

Leah: Guys you will never guess who are together

Beth: Alessia and y/n

Katie: Less and y/n/n

Viv: Alessia and y/n

Lotte: Less and Y/n

Caitlin: less and y/n

Vic: less and mini Williamson

Lia: Lessi and y/n/n

Kyra: who?

Steph: Kyra, read the replies 🤦‍♀️

Leah: wait, was I the only one that didn’t know?

Katie: It’s so obvious

“Too late” Alessia giggled.

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐃 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 +

The sixteen women slowly trickled back into the open square, wrapped in scarves and puffer coats, cheeks pink from the cold. Ella was already waving her phone around, trying to line everyone up for another group photo.

“For Christ’s sake, Tooney, my toes are gonna fall off,” LJ complained, hopping from foot to foot.

“One more! It’s for memories!” Ella pleaded.

“You said that three photos ago!” Georgia groaned.

Ona laughed and threw her arms around Lucy’s shoulders, pulling her in for the shot. Alexia joined in, her arm around Florence’s waist. The Irishwoman smiled, small but genuine, as Ella counted down.

“Three, two, one—”

“Everyone say—” Ella paused, then grinned mischievously. “Leah and Flo’s unresolved tension!”

The square erupted with groans and laughter. Florence turned slowly to glare at her, eyes narrowing. “You’re dead, Tooney. Dead.”

“Worth it,” Ella wheezed, still laughing.

Even Leah couldn’t help a tiny, awkward smile—though she quickly ducked her head when Florence caught her eye. The air between them was still tense, heavy with everything unsaid.

Katie clapped her hands, breaking the moment. “Alright, what’s the plan for tea tonight then? We can’t live off cereal and hot chocolate.”

“Speak for yourself,” Hannah said, clutching her takeaway cup of hot chocolate like it was sacred.

Lucy sighed. “We’ll need groceries. And something warm for dinner.”

“I vote takeaway,” Chloe chimed in. “Minimal effort, maximum reward.”

“You can’t get takeaway up in the bloody mountains,” Katie said. “We’ve gotta cook.”

Keira leaned against the rail of a snow-dusted bench. “Who’s volunteering then?”

“Flo should,” Beth said immediately. “She’s actually decent at it.”

Florence raised an eyebrow. “Decent?”

“Alright, brilliant then,” Beth corrected quickly, smirking. “You made that chicken and chorizo thing for us last summer, remember? I still think about it today.”

“See?” Katie said, grinning. “Chef O’Connell’s got it covered.”

Florence groaned but smiled faintly. “Fine. But I’m not cooking alone. I’ll need an assistant.”

“LJ,” Niamh said instantly, nodding toward her teammate. “She’s good with a chopping board. Can’t cook pasta for shit, but she can slice an onion like a pro.”

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Cheers for that.”

“Perfect,” Florence said. “Dinner’s sorted. I’ll poison everyone with love.”

“And chorizo,” Beth added.

Alexia chuckled quietly beside her. “You cook, I clean,” she offered.

Florence smiled sideways at her. “Deal.”

The group laughed and chatted as they started toward the grocery store on the far end of the square. It was small but charming, wooden sign creaking in the breeze, the window filled with hanging ornaments and strings of garlic and peppers.

Inside, it was warm and smelled faintly of coffee beans and freshly baked bread. The floorboards groaned under the weight of sixteen footballers fanning out like a chaotic wave.

“Right, split up,” Katie declared, clapping her gloved hands. “We’ll cover more ground that way. Meet at the tills in twenty.”

Lucy immediately steered Ona and Alexia toward the bakery section, muttering something about croissants and tarts. Leah followed a few steps behind, her hands tucked into her coat pockets, keeping her head low.

Florence, meanwhile, wandered down the wine aisle with Katie, Beth, and Alessia. The four of them looked utterly out of place among the quiet locals, loud, laughing, coats dusted with snow.

Katie picked up a bottle of red. “Alright, sommelier O’Connell, what’s the verdict? Fancy stuff or cheap plonk?”

Florence tilted her head, scanning the shelves. “Cheap plonk, always. We’re feeding an army, not the bloody royal family.”

Beth snorted. “That’s what I like about you, Flo. Low expectations.”

“Low expectations, high standards,” Florence corrected, smirking. “There’s a difference.”

Alessia pointed to a bottle with a festive label. “What about this one? Says ‘notes of cherry and oak.’ Sounds fancy.”

“Sounds like lies,” Katie said. “Grab it.”

Florence plucked a couple of bottles off the shelf, humming thoughtfully. “We’ll need white too. Something for the chicken. Or fish, if we find any.”

“You planning a five-course meal or something?” Beth teased.

“Maybe,” Florence said lightly. “Depends on how much wine I drink first.”

They all laughed, continuing down the aisle, the sound warm and familiar, cutting through the chill that had settled around Florence’s chest all morning. For the first time since arriving, she felt…almost normal.

Over in the bakery aisle, the smell of butter and sugar filled the air. Lucy leaned against a rack of pastries, scanning the display. “Right, let’s load up. There’s cinnamon rolls, croissants, Danish pastries, muffins…”

Ona’s eyes lit up. “Get all of them.”

“Carb loading, are we?” Leah teased quietly from behind her, her first real words in a while.

Ona grinned. “Always.”

Alexia picked up a tray of almond croissants, inspecting them. “These look good. Maybe we get some for Flo too? She loves pastries.”

Lucy nodded. “Yeah, grab a few. She’ll eat anything sweet.”

Leah looked up sharply. “Not those,” she said, almost without thinking.

Alexia turned, blinking. “Perdón?” (Pardon?)

“She hates almonds,” Leah said, her tone casual, offhand. The kind of instinctive comment you make when you still know someone by heart. “Despises them. She used to pick them off the almond croissants in the little multi-packs.”

Lucy paused, a loaf of bread halfway to her basket. “Really?”

Leah nodded absently. “Yeah. You might as well get her plain ones, or pain au chocolat. Or those mini Danish pastries—the little raspberry crowns. Those ones are her favourites.”

There was a tiny silence.

Ona exchanged a quick look with Alexia, who tilted her head slightly, not confused so much as thoughtful. Florence had never mentioned that to her, not once in nearly a year of living together.

“Okay,” Alexia said after a beat, setting the almond croissants back and grabbing a box of raspberry Danish pastries instead. “We get these then.”

Leah nodded once, pretending to study the shelf. “Yeah. She’ll like those.”

The four women fell into a strange quiet, the kind that hummed with unspoken things. Lucy glanced sidelong at Leah, then at the pastries, then back again. There was something raw in the way Leah said it—not just casual knowledge, but the kind of affection that lingers long after love ends.

Ona broke the silence softly. “You remember a lot about her,” she said, not unkindly.

Leah gave a small, humourless smile. “Yeah. Some things just stick, I guess.”

Lucy looked away, pretending to read a label. Alexia didn’t respond. She just placed the pastries in the basket and continued browsing, though her mind was elsewhere, turning over what Leah had said.

Leah lingered a little behind the group as they moved on, her stomach twisting. She didn’t know why she’d said it, maybe habit, maybe instinct. It had slipped out before she could stop it.

And now, she could feel the weight of it in the air, like everyone could see how easily she still remembered the smallest details.

How could she not? Those tiny things had been theirs. The way Florence hated almond croissants but loved raspberry crowns and plain croissants. How she’d make her tea so strong it could dissolve metal. How she’d hum under her breath when she cooked.

All those fragments lived rent-free in Leah’s head, and every time she saw Florence laugh now, especially with Alexia Putellas of all people, it stung.

Meanwhile, at the other end of the store, Florence had successfully filled an entire trolley with enough food for a football team. Which, to be fair, they were.

Katie peered into the trolley. “Jaysus, Flo. You sure we’re not opening a restaurant?”

“We’re Irish, Katie,” Florence said seriously. “We feed people until they explode. It’s hospitality.”

Beth laughed. “You could feed a small country with this.”

“That’s the plan,” Florence said cheerfully, tossing in another packet of pasta.

Alessia pointed to a display of candy canes by the tills. “We should get some for the lodge. Make it festive.”

Katie grinned. “Now you’re talking. Grab a few packs.”

Florence took one last look down the aisles, spotting Alexia’s group emerging from the bakery section. Lucy was carrying a full basket, Ona chattering animatedly beside her. Alexia walked quietly, carrying her basket, her gaze catching Florence’s for a second before she smiled.

Florence smiled back, something soft tugging at her chest. “Find anything good?” she called.

“Pastries,” Lucy said, gesturing to the basket.

Florence’s brows furrowed as she grabbed one of the Danish pastry boxes from Alexia’s basket. She turned it over idly, a faint smile tugging at her lips. “Good choice.”

Alexia glanced at her, something unreadable flickering in her eyes.

Leah, behind Lucy, glanced away quickly, pretending to be busy with the bread in her hands.

Alexia’s tone was light, but there was a flicker in her expression. “We almost got almond ones,” she said casually. “But Leah remembered you don’t like them.”

Florence froze for a second, her smile faltering before she could stop it. “Oh.”

Katie’s head turned sharply between them, sensing the shift in atmosphere.

Leah shrugged, her voice soft. “You used to pick them off. I just… remembered, that’s all.”

Florence’s jaw clenched slightly, though her voice stayed even. “Right. Well. Good memory, I guess.”

Alexia gave a small nod, as if to silently steer them away from the tension. “The raspberry ones looked best anyway,” she said, her tone gentle.

Florence forced a smile. “Yeah. Those are my favourite.”

There was an awkward silence before Beth broke it with a loud clap of her hands. “Right! Who’s carrying all this back to the lodge? Because I’m calling not it.”

“Same,” Georgia said immediately from across the aisle.

Katie groaned. “You lot are useless.”

As they began to divide up bags and baskets, the earlier tension slowly eased under the sound of laughter and teasing. But Leah’s heart still felt heavy, the weight of that one small comment lingering in her chest.

She hadn’t meant to stir anything up. It was just…she couldn’t not remember. No matter how hard she tried, Florence was woven into her, every habit, every laugh, every piece of her old life still burned into memory.

As they all filed out into the snow again, Florence walked ahead beside Alexia, her laughter mingling with Ona’s as they joked about carrying too many bags. Leah followed a few paces behind with Katie and Beth, watching the way Alexia leaned close to say something that made Florence laugh, really laugh, the kind of laugh that used to belong to her.

Katie must have noticed the look on Leah’s face because she nudged her gently. “You alright?”

Leah blinked, forcing a faint smile. “Yeah. Fine.”

“Just checking,” Katie said quietly, though her eyes were kind.

Leah didn’t answer, her gaze still fixed on Florence’s silhouette ahead, curls dusted with snow, scarf pulled high, her laughter cutting through the cold air.

It was then Leah realised something she’d been trying to deny for almost a year:
No matter how far she ran, no matter how long it had been, she still loved her.

And now, someone else might too.

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

By the time the girls made it back to the lodge, the sun had dipped behind the snow-covered mountains, leaving the sky painted in dusky pinks and golds. Their laughter echoed in the crisp evening air as they trudged up the long driveway, boots crunching on the packed snow.

“Someone better have a bath running when we get in,” Chloe muttered, hugging her bag of snacks to her chest.

“Priorities,” Hannah said with a smirk. “We’re carrying food for sixteen people, and you’re thinking about baths.”

“Hot water solves everything,” Chloe fired back.

Inside, the warmth hit them instantly, the scent of pine and wood smoke wrapping around them like a blanket. The massive log fire in the living room crackled softly, casting a warm glow across the rustic wooden beams.

“Alright, girls,” Lucy called, clapping her hands together. “We unpack, get changed, and regroup in twenty. Flo and LJ, kitchen duty.”

“Why do you sound like a PE teacher?” Niamh said, groaning dramatically.

“Because someone has to keep you lot in line,” Lucy retorted, pointing toward the staircase.

The group dispersed in a flurry of boots, laughter, and rustling shopping bags.

Florence headed up to her and Alexia’s room, cheeks still pink from the cold. She pulled off her coat and scarf, setting them neatly on the chair, and unzipped her jeans, swapping them for her old fuzzy red plaid pyjama bottoms—the exact pair she and Katie had owned for years. They’d become a running joke between them: same pattern, same cosy fleece, both looking a little too worn but too comfortable to part with.

Alexia raised a brow from her side of the room. “Matching pyjamas?” she asked with a teasing smile.

Florence chuckled. “Yeah, Katie and I got them years ago when we played in Birmingham together. Haven’t found any as soft as these since.”

She rummaged in her suitcase for a sweatshirt, grabbing the first one she saw and tugging it over her head. It smelled faintly of vanilla fabric softener, and the sleeves were just a bit too long, the cuffs frayed and soft against her wrists. She didn’t think twice about it.

Alexia looked up again, tilting her head. “That hoodie looks… old,” she said lightly.

“It is,” Florence said, glancing down. The dark grey fabric was worn thin, the logo half-faded. “I’ve had this one forever. Must be like half a decade old, or something.” She smiled faintly, tugging the sleeve over her hand. “Just comfy, innit?”

She didn’t remember, or maybe didn’t let herself remember, that it hadn’t been hers.

Downstairs, the kitchen quickly became the heart of the house. Florence tied her hair up in a messy bun and rolled up her sleeves as Lauren laid out ingredients across the counters. The room smelled of garlic, onions, and sizzling olive oil within minutes.

“Right,” Lauren said, clapping once. “You’re the boss, O’Connell. What’s the plan?”

Florence grinned, brandishing a wooden spoon like a weapon. “We’re doing chicken and chorizo pasta, big salad, and garlic bread. Simple but effective.”

“Chef Florence in the building,” Caitlin called from the kitchen doorway, clutching a mug of tea.

“Careful, I’m armed,” Florence warned, waving the spoon.

Katie appeared next, holding two glasses of wine and passing them over. “For the chefs. To fuel creativity.”

“Or chaos,” Lauren muttered, but took it anyway.

Alexia perched on one of the stools by the counter, watching Florence move with ease around the kitchen. There was something comforting about it, the way Florence hummed quietly to herself, tapping her fingers against the counter as she chopped vegetables. She seemed lighter here, almost herself again. It was peaceful, and Lord knows Florence needed that right now.

“Need help?” Alexia offered.

“You can chop the peppers if you want,” Florence said. “Thin slices, not cubes. Don’t murder them.”

“I’ll try,” Alexia said with mock solemnity, grabbing the knife.

Lucy and Ona wandered in a few minutes later, setting down bowls of snacks on the table. “We’re staying to supervise,” Lucy declared. “Make sure nobody burns the lodge down.”

“Excuse me,” Florence said, pretending to look offended. “I’ve never burned anything in me life.”

“Not even bridges?” Katie teased, and the group erupted into laughter.

Florence groaned, tossing a tea towel at her. “You’re lucky I love you.”

As the laughter filled the kitchen, footsteps sounded softly in the hall. Leah appeared in the doorway, her hair loose, wearing joggers and a simple black hoodie. Her gaze flicked across the room, landing briefly on Florence, who was leaning over the stove, the grey hoodie hanging loose on her shoulders.

For a split second, Leah froze. Her heart gave a small, painful lurch. She knew that hoodie. The faded crest on the chest, the worn cuffs—it was hers. She’d given it to Florence one morning years ago after a rain-soaked running session together, when Florence had been shivering and grumbling about forgetting her jumper. Before they’d even officially been together.

“Keep it,” Leah had said then, laughing. “You’ll just steal it anyway.”

And she had.

Leah’s chest tightened as she watched Florence stir the pan, completely unaware. She looked at ease, laughing with Lauren, curls messy and face glowing from the heat. Leah wanted to look away but couldn’t. It was like watching a ghost of her old life moving right in front of her. The same hoodie, the same smile, but she no longer belonged to that world.

“Lee!” Katie’s voice broke her trance. “Grab a drink and join us. We’re having a full-on cooking show in here.”

Leah blinked, startled, and quickly shook her head. “I’m alright, thanks. Just came for some water.”

“Oh, come on,” Lauren said, flipping a piece of chicken. “Stay. You can be our taste tester.”

Leah hesitated, glancing toward Florence again. But Florence didn’t look up, didn’t even seem to notice her. The laughter continued around the kitchen, light and warm, and Leah felt completely out of place standing there.

“I’ve still got to unpack some things,” Leah lied, opening the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water.

Katie frowned. “Leah—”

“It’s fine,” Leah said quickly, forcing a small smile. “I’ll catch up later.”

And then she was gone, her footsteps fading up the stairs.

Katie sighed, watching the empty doorway. “She’s avoiding everyone.”

Florence said nothing at first, just kept stirring the pasta. The silence that followed was heavy enough to notice.

Lucy leaned back on her stool. “Maybe she’s just tired.”

Katie’s brow furrowed. She opened her mouth to say something else, but Caitlin gently touched her arm, murmuring something low. Katie sighed, leaning back against the counter.

Florence had caught the exchange, though she pretended not to. She focused on stirring the sauce, the spoon scraping the bottom of the pan.

As the garlic bread browned in the oven and the sauce bubbled gently, the group relaxed around the island. Caitlin and Katie sipped wine, Lucy kept sneaking bites of cheese, and Lauren proudly guarded her sauce like a dragon with treasure.

“Not bad, LJ,” Florence admitted grudgingly after tasting it.

“Told you,” Lauren said smugly.

Eventually, with the last pot simmering, Florence leaned back against the counter, arms crossed. She felt a strange quiet gnawing at her chest.

Katie noticed first. “What’s with the face?”

Florence shook her head, staring at the floor. “Nothing.”

“Bullshit,” Katie said flatly.

Florence sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “It’s just… last night. Maybe I was too harsh.”

Lucy tilted her head. “Harsh? Flo, she cheated on you.”

Florence pressed her lips together. “That’s the thing. I keep replaying it in my head and yeah, she deserved my anger. But it’s been a year, and…” She trailed off.

“And?” Alexia prompted gently.

“And I still feel guilty for last night. Like I actually care that I hurt her feelings.” Florence laughed bitterly. “I hate it. I don’t owe her anything, but…”

Katie’s voice softened. “But you still care.”

Florence swallowed hard, arms tightening around herself. “Yeah. And I don’t know if that makes me pathetic.”

Silence settled for a moment, only the bubbling sauce filling the room.

Alexia finally reached out, squeezing Florence’s wrist. “It makes you human.”

Florence glanced at her, then quickly looked away, blinking hard.

Katie tipped her wine glass toward her. “Don’t let it eat you alive, Flo. You’re allowed to be angry and guilty at the same time. Doesn’t mean you’re wrong.”

Florence gave a weak laugh. “Thanks for the therapy session, McCabe.”

Katie smirked. “That’ll be twenty quid.”

The tension eased with the laughter that followed. Katie poured another round of wine. Lauren started humming terribly off-key, and Caitlin joined in just to make it worse. The kitchen filled with warmth, laughter, the clatter of pots, and the smell of butter and garlic.

But beneath it all, that small ache in Florence’s chest stayed, the one she tried to ignore as she stirred the pasta and pretended everything was fine.

Upstairs, Leah sat on the edge of her bed, the sound of laughter drifting faintly through the floorboards. She closed her eyes, recognising the rhythm of Florence’s laugh—the little hitch at the end, the one she used to mimic just to make her blush.

And she thought about that hoodie, about how long Florence must have kept it. Five years. Through everything.

She wanted to believe that meant something. That somewhere inside, Florence hadn’t let go completely.

But then she remembered the way Florence had looked right through her last night, cold, unreadable.

Maybe that was all it was now. Just an old hoodie. A memory worn thread-thin.

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

By the time the rest of the group trudged back into the lodge after their walk, cheeks flushed from the cold, the smell of garlic and roasted tomatoes filled the air. Laughter echoed down the hallway as boots and coats were dumped by the door.

“Something smells unreal,” Georgia called, following her nose toward the kitchen.

“Not bad for a day’s work,” Lauren said smugly, wiping her hands on a tea towel.

Florence rolled her eyes. “She chopped onions, that’s it.”

Lauren shot her a glare. “And perfected the sauce.”

“Uh-huh,” Florence said, smirking as she handed Ona a tray of garlic bread to carry.

The kitchen suddenly felt like organized chaos. Lucy and Ona helped Florence and Lauren plate up the pasta, garlic bread, and salads. The counters were lined with dishes, steam rising, while the others fluttered in and out with bottles of wine, napkins, and mismatched plates.

Beth wandered in holding her phone like it was a crown jewel. “Alright, no dinner without Christmas tunes.”

“Oh god, not again,” Alessia groaned.

“You’ll thank me,” Beth said, already connecting to the lodge’s Bluetooth speaker. Seconds later, Mariah Carey’s voice filled the room, soaring over the clatter of cutlery and chatter.

“Here we go,” Katie muttered, but she was grinning.

The long dining table stretched across the living room, hastily extended with an extra fold-out at the end. Plates were set, glasses filled with wine or beer or juice. Candles flickered along the centre, giving the room a warm glow.

Florence ended up between Alexia and Lucy, opposite Katie, with Caitlin next to Katie and Leah a few seats down. She hadn’t even noticed Leah when she sat; she was too busy laughing with Lucy about how unevenly the garlic bread had been cut.

Leah, though, noticed immediately. She could see Florence perfectly from where she sat, framed by candlelight, curls spilling around her shoulders, still wearing that hoodie she hadn’t let go of in years. The sight twisted something sharp in her chest.

She forced herself to look at Georgia instead, who was retelling a story about a disastrous team dinner back at Bayern.

Dinner began in a blur of clinking cutlery, overlapping conversations, and Beth periodically announcing which song was playing.

“This pasta’s insane,” Chloe said through a mouthful, earning a glare from Keira.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Keira scolded automatically.

“Can’t help it, it’s that good.” Chloe grinned at Florence and Lauren.

“Thank you,” Lauren said proudly.

Florence raised a brow. “You mean thank you to me.”

Lauren gasped. “Excuse me?”

Katie snorted. “Here we go.”

Florence leaned back in her chair, smirking. “All I’m saying is, if it wasn’t for me, you’d all be eating plain pasta with ketchup.”

Laughter erupted down the table, Lauren swatting at Florence’s arm as she tried to defend herself.

At some point, “Fairytale of New York” started playing. The opening chords sent Katie’s head snapping toward Florence, who was already grinning back at her.

“No way,” Alessia muttered, already pulling her phone out to record.

The two Irishwomen didn’t hesitate. Katie jumped to her feet, pointing at Florence as the first verse started. Florence, grinning ear to ear, pushed back her chair and stood too.

They launched into it with zero shame, full voices filling the lodge. Katie took Shane MacGowan’s part, growling through the lines, while Florence sang Kirsty MacColl’s with fiery dramatics, gesturing wildly with her fork as though it were a microphone.

“You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy—” Florence roared, and the whole table howled with laughter.

Katie fired back her line, their Irish accents stronger than ever as she leaned across the table toward Florence, finger jabbing.

The room was chaos.

Ella and Alessia nearly crying with laughter as they filmed, Lucy pounding the table in rhythm, Niamh and Hannah shouting encouragement like it was a football match. Even Alexia, usually composed, was doubled over laughing beside Florence.

When the song ended, Katie and Florence both bowed dramatically, receiving a chorus of cheers and claps.

“Best performance of the night,” Georgia declared.

Beth wiped tears from her eyes. “I’m putting that on Instagram.”

Florence dropped back into her chair, cheeks flushed from laughter. Katie leaned across the table, pointing at her. “Still got it.”

“Always,” Florence shot back, grinning.

Leah clapped along with the rest, forcing a smile. But inside, she felt that same ache. She remembered nights just like this, Florence belting out songs in their kitchen in London, that same grin lighting up her face. She’d loved that grin. Still did, if she was honest with herself.

Now it wasn’t for her. It was for Katie, for Alexia, for the room full of teammates and friends.

And Leah sat a few seats away, silent, nursing her glass of wine and pretending she wasn’t breaking all over again.

The evening rolled on with more laughter, teasing, and too much garlic bread.

Ella and Niamh tried to teach Ona the words to Elton John’s “Step Into Christmas,” Lauren insisted her sauce had been the star of the night, and Beth kept trying to sneak marshmallows meant for the hot chocolate from the kitchen.

Florence leaned back in her chair, warm and full, her voice hoarse from singing and laughing. For the first time in a long while, she felt almost…content. Almost.

Because every time she dared to glance down the table, she saw Leah—quiet, withdrawn, but always watching.

And she hated that it still made her heart stutter.

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

The clatter of plates and the gush of hot water came from the kitchen, where Leah stood shoulder to shoulder with Keira and Alessia. The three had been drafted into cleanup duty, a fair trade given they’d barely lifted a finger when dinner was being made.

“I’m just saying,” Alessia muttered, stacking plates into the dishwasher, “if I didn’t nearly cry chopping onions like Flo did, then technically I didn’t owe dish duty.”

Leah smirked faintly, drying a plate. “You volunteered, Less. Don’t blame me.”

Keira snorted, up to her elbows in suds. “Yeah, and you’re both lucky. My mum would’ve had us cleaning the whole house after a meal like that.”

The banter was light, easy. But Leah wasn’t really in it. Her hands moved mechanically—wipe, stack, pass—while her thoughts swirled elsewhere. She could still hear Florence’s laugh ringing in her ears from dinner, that carefree kind of laugh Leah hadn’t heard in a year.

By the time the dishwasher was humming and the counters wiped down, the three of them rejoined the others in the living room.

The lodge’s living room glowed with soft lamplight and the flicker of candles still burning low from dinner. Half-empty glasses of wine and bottles of beer sat scattered across the coffee table. Shoes had been kicked off, and girls were draped across sofas and cushions like they’d melted into the furniture.

Beth had her phone plugged into the speaker, the playlist shuffling through every Christmas classic under the sun.

Lucy raised her glass, voice carrying over the chatter. “Alright, listen up. Tomorrow, we’ve got skiing. Whole group booked for the afternoon. In the evening, board games. So no excuses about being too tired.”

Ella groaned dramatically. “I’ve never skied in my life. I’m gonna die on that slope.”

“Better you than me,” Chloe chimed in, though the grin on her face gave her away.

Florence sat curled in the corner of one of the big sofas, legs tucked beneath her, a burgundy throw draped over her shoulders. Alexia sat close beside her, sipping her wine lazily, eyes half on the group and half on the flames licking the stone fireplace.

Katie and Caitlin sat opposite them on the rug, trading playful jabs about who’d look worse in ski gear. Georgia sprawled sideways across an armchair, glass balanced on her stomach, while Ona leaned against the backrest behind Lucy.

The room was full. Warm. Loud. And yet, when “Last Christmas” came through the speakers, something shifted.

The opening notes floated through the room, familiar and bittersweet.

Beth immediately raised her arms like she’d won the lottery. “This is my JAM.”

“You say that about every song,” Chloe muttered, but she was smiling.

Still, as laughter carried on, as Caitlin and Alessia tried to outdo each other with dramatic lip-syncing, Florence felt the lyrics settle heavy in her chest.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away.

Her throat tightened. She took a sip of her wine to mask it.

She hadn’t expected the song to hit so hard. But how could it not? Four Christmases with Leah, each one wrapped up in memories she’d tried so hard to bury. The first, sneaking kisses under fairy lights. The second, meeting each other’s families. The third, curled up on their sofa in their London home with hot chocolate, watching cheesy films. The fourth, the last one, both of them drunk on mulled wine, talking about forever like it was a given.

Florence blinked hard, fixing her gaze on the fire. Don’t think about it. Don’t you dare think about it.

But then the second verse came.

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes.

I’m hiding from you, and your soul of ice.

My God, I thought you were someone to rely on.

Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on.

Her chest constricted. She hadn’t just lost Leah, she’d lost her best friend, her person. And here they were now, a crowded room, friends with tired eyes… and Florence couldn’t even look at her without her whole body remembering.

Against her better judgment, her gaze flickered across the room.

Leah was sitting on the far end of the second sofa, half in shadow. She wasn’t laughing with Keira or teasing Georgia. She was quiet, her glass held loosely in her hand, eyes fixed somewhere in the middle distance. But Florence could tell from the set of her jaw that she was listening too.

For a split second, Leah’s eyes lifted. Met hers.

Florence’s stomach flipped violently. She looked away at once, heat prickling the back of her neck.

Leah felt that glance like a punch.

She’d been doing so well. Keeping her head down, staying quiet, trying not to let her gaze wander back to Florence every five seconds. But then the song had started, and it was like someone had ripped her chest open.

The lyrics hit too close. Too sharp.

A crowded room. Friends with tired eyes.

Her throat burned. That was her, wasn’t it? The soul of ice. The one Florence had thought she could rely on, until she couldn’t.

Leah tightened her grip on her glass, her knuckles pale.

She wanted to stand up. To cross the room, sit at Florence’s side, whisper apologies she should’ve made months ago. To say I didn’t cheat. I never cheated. I loved you, I still love you.

But she stayed put. Because what right did she have now?

And then, like fate was twisting the knife, her gaze landed on Florence and Alexia—shoulders almost touching, their laughter earlier in the kitchen still echoing in Leah’s head.

Was there something there? The way Alexia’s hand had brushed Florence’s when passing her a fork, the way Florence had leaned into her laugh like it was second nature.

If Florence had found happiness again, who was Leah to ruin it?

She swallowed hard, blinking against the sting behind her eyes. Took another sip of wine. Kept quiet.

The room carried on, oblivious. Katie and Caitlin were mock-arguing about who’d win in a snowball fight. Ella was teasing Lauren about her supposed “chef skills.” Lessi and Hannah were singing along, badly and off-key.

Nobody noticed Florence’s rigid posture, or Leah’s silence, or the storm both were drowning in.

And maybe that was for the best.

Florence forced herself to laugh when Lucy leaned over to say something about skiing disasters. She even chimed in with a joke about Katie inevitably crashing into a tree. On the surface, she was fine.

But inside, she was spiralling. Because the truth was simple: she hadn’t moved on, not fully. And she hated that. Because she’d spent nearly a year convincing herself that she had, but seeing Leah again seemed to have flipped everything upside down.

She hated that she still cared. That Leah’s quiet, watchful presence across the room could make her chest ache in a way that no warmth could remedy.

She pulled the throw tighter around her shoulders, almost like she could shield herself from her own thoughts.

Tomorrow. She’d focus on skiing tomorrow.

Leah drained the rest of her glass. She laughed when Alessia accidentally spilled crisps all over the rug. She even smiled when Georgia cracked a joke about Keira’s “mum voice.”

But when she glanced across the room one last time and caught sight of Florence’s profile in the firelight, her heart twisted again.

If she’s happy, let her be happy. Don’t be selfish. Don’t ruin this for her.

It didn’t stop the ache.

It never did.

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

The lodge had gone still hours ago. The kind of stillness that made Florence’s skin hum, as if silence itself were too loud to bear. The snow outside pressed against the windows in heavy flurries, muting the world, wrapping the mountains in white. The fire downstairs had long gone out, and the faint smell of cinnamon and mulled wine lingered like a ghost through the air.

Alexia was asleep beside her, breathing soft and steady. One arm draped across Florence’s stomach, the warmth of her touch pinning her in place. The steady rise and fall of Alexia’s chest was soothing, and normally, Florence could fall asleep like that. But not tonight.

Her mind was restless, too full of thoughts she didn’t want.

She stared at the ceiling, watching faint light from the snow outside shimmer against the beams. It was supposed to be a break, the break she’d needed. A mountain escape with the girls, away from training, cameras, and pressure. But instead, it had become a cage of memory.

Leah’s presence downstairs, the sound of her laughter earlier, the way their eyes had met across the living room—it all sat heavy on Florence’s chest.

Every look, every word, brought back a thousand others. Every memory she thought she’d buried under Barcelona sun and training pitches and accolades, clawed its way back up.

You were over this, she told herself. You’re fine. You moved on. You’re happy.

Except she wasn’t. Not entirely. Because here, in the silence of a snow-blanketed lodge, Florence realised she was still bleeding from wounds that had only ever scabbed over.

Carefully, she shifted. Alexia murmured something softly in Spanish in her sleep, and her arm slipped away. Florence hesitated a moment, guilt prickling, before quietly sliding out of bed.

The floor was cold against her feet, so she grabbed her slippers, tugged on her hoodie, and tiptoed out of the room. The corridor was dark, save for the warm amber light from a hallway lamp left on.

Downstairs, the house was silent. Everyone asleep, breaths deep, dreams loud. Florence slipped into the kitchen and flicked on one dim pendant light over the counter. It cast soft golden shadows across the space.

She filled a glass of water and perched herself up on the counter, legs swinging gently as she took a sip. Her phone buzzed faintly, some late-night Instagram tag from a fan account. She ignored it. Instead, she scrolled aimlessly, just something to keep her hands busy, mind distracted.

But the distraction didn’t hold.

Leah was a huge part of your life.

That voice in her head again. Truthful, cruel.

Nearly five years. Half a decade. Training sessions, injuries, trophies, Christmas mornings, lazy Sunday breakfasts. Her heartbeat had been synced to Leah’s for years. And then…gone. Torn away by betrayal, by words that shattered her.

She convinced herself a year was enough time to heal. A new city, new teammates, new everything. Barcelona had been a balm, the sun, the passion, the endless rhythm of football. Alexia’s steady presence, her patience, her care, it had all helped. Florence built herself back up there. She had to.

But being here, being in Leah’s orbit again… it was like trying to breathe underwater. Leah was everywhere. The shape of her laugh, the way she said “Flo,” even the faint smell of her perfume when she walked past—it all pressed in on Florence, flooding her senses until it hurt.

And she hated that it still mattered.

She hated that even now, with everything Leah had done, her heart still stuttered when she saw her.

She sighed, tossing her phone onto the counter beside her. Reached for the container of pastries Alexia had placed in her hands earlier at the grocery store, laughing when Florence protested she didn’t need them. Of course she’d already eaten three earlier. She tore off another bite of a mini Danish, the buttery pastry of the raspberry crown flaking onto her fingers.

The sound of footsteps on the stairs snapped her head up.

She froze, pastry halfway to her mouth, as Leah appeared in the doorway.

Her hair was messy, blonde strands sticking up in every direction from the messy bun she haphazardly put it up in. She wore a hoodie and joggers, the picture of someone who’d dragged themselves out of bed purely on instinct. Her eyes blinked blearily in the dim light, then widened when she saw who was sitting on the counter. For a beat, the air seemed to vanish from the room.

“Oh—” Leah’s voice was rough with sleep. “Sorry.” She shook her head quickly, already turning back toward the hallway. “Didn’t mean to—”

Florence sighed, running a hand through her curls. Her heart and her head were at war again, one screaming to let Leah walk out, the other whispering be kind.

Florence let out a groan and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Leah. It’s grand. Stay.”

Leah hesitated, hand still braced on the doorframe. Her eyes searched Florence’s face, wary, like she was waiting for the trap to spring.

Florence rolled her eyes, stuffing the rest of the Danish into her mouth. “Relax. I’m not about to bite your head off. Just… get your water or whatever. It’s alright.”

Leah’s shoulders lowered slightly, though her movements were cautious as she padded in, opening the fridge and pulling out a chilled water bottle. She didn’t look at Florence once, just twisted the cap off and leaned back against the counter opposite.

The silence stretched, taut and uncomfortable. Florence chewed deliberately, her gaze flicking down to the container in her lap. Without thinking too hard, she held it out.

“D’you want one?”

Leah blinked, caught off guard. “Are you… talking to me?”

“No,” Florence deadpanned. “I’m offering it to the fecking ghost in the corner. Yes, I’m talking to you. It’s a yes or no answer, Leah, don’t overthink it. And hurry up, I can’t hold this all day.”

For a moment Leah just stared, then cleared her throat. “Right. Uh—yeah. Thanks.”

She crossed the few steps between them, reaching in and picking out the crème crown without hesitation. Of course she would. Florence’s chest gave a traitorous squeeze.

“Still your favourite, then,” Florence muttered.

Leah looked down at the pastry in her hand. “Guess some things don’t change.”

She bit into it, chewing slowly, almost like she needed to prove to herself she could still enjoy it.

Florence huffed, dragging her finger across the flakes on her lap. She didn’t want to talk. Didn’t want to open the door. But her brain had been running a mile a minute for hours, and suddenly the words tumbled out.

“You nervous about skiing tomorrow?” she asked, her tone deliberately casual.

Leah’s brows lifted slightly at the question, like she hadn’t expected Florence to make conversation. She swallowed her bite. “Not really. You?”

Florence snorted. “Shitting bricks actually. I was never good at it.”

Leah’s mouth tugged into the faintest of smiles. “You’re telling me. Remember when we went a few years ago, and you came flying down the hill like a rocket—”

“Oh God,” Florence groaned, covering her face with one hand.

“—and you couldn’t stop, so you panicked and just ploughed straight into me!” Leah’s shoulders shook with a laugh. “I was minding my own business, and you took me out like you were on a rugby pitch! It took ten minutes to get untangled.”

Florence peeked out from between her fingers, laughter spilling out despite herself. “You mean it took me ten minutes because you were pissing yourself laughing instead of helping me.”

“You were swearing in Irish AND Spanish! I had no idea what you were saying, but the kids on the slope definitely learned a few new words.”

Florence laughed so hard she snorted again, covering her mouth. “Oh my God, I forgot how dramatic you are.”

“Me? Dramatic? You literally screamed ‘I’m gonna die!’ the whole way down the hill.”

Florence giggled, shaking her head. “In my defence, I thought I was.”

Their laughter filled the kitchen, light, real. For a moment, it felt like time had bent backwards, like they were back in those good years. No hurt, no betrayal. Just them.

And it hurt even more because of that.

When the laughter faded, the silence that followed was heavier, deeper. The kind that pressed into your lungs. Florence stared down at the counter, suddenly aware of every inch between them.

Leah was watching her, and she didn’t even bother to hide it. There was something in her gaze, something broken and soft.

“Jacob still has the video,” Leah said quietly, almost a whisper. “Of that crash.”

Florence looked up, caught off guard. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Leah chuckled faintly. “Mum still brings it up sometimes. Says it’s her favourite family video.”

Florence smiled, a small, aching thing. “Your mum…she was always too nice to me.”

“She loves you,” Leah said, the words so gentle it made Florence’s stomach twist. “We all did.”

Florence looked away, throat tightening. “Yeah, well. That was a long time ago.”

Leah opened her mouth, like she wanted to say something more, but stopped herself. Whatever it was, it died on her tongue.

Florence’s smile slipped as reality crashed back in, like the cold air outside rushing through a cracked window.

What was she doing? Sitting here in the kitchen at two in the morning, laughing and reminiscing with the woman who’d shattered her?

She shoved the pastry container back into the cupboard, wiping her fingers on a paper towel. Filled her glass with water again just to keep her hands busy.

“Goodnight,” she said softly, almost under her breath, as if the word might break if she spoke it louder.

Leah blinked, disappointment flashing across her face before she smoothed it away. She nodded, her voice equally quiet. “Night, Florence.”

Florence didn’t look back as she padded out of the kitchen, slippers whispering against the wooden floorboards, her glass cradled in her hand.

Leah stayed where she was, leaning back against the counter, her half-eaten pastry forgotten in her grip.

Her chest was a mess, aching, tangled, raw. That tiny sliver of laughter had felt like hope, like maybe there was still a way back. But then Florence had walked away, walls slamming back into place.

Leah tipped her head back against the cupboard and closed her eyes.

“Fuck,” she whispered to the empty kitchen.

And the house stayed silent.

The stairs creaked faintly under Leah’s feet as she climbed back up from the kitchen, the half-eaten pastry she’d abandoned now sat in the bin behind her. She rubbed the heel of her hand against her eyes, willing the sting away, but it was no use. Her chest was tight, her throat raw, her head a hurricane of Florence’s laugh, Florence’s voice, Florence’s goodbye.

When she reached the room, it was dark, the only light the faint strip of moon spilling through the gap in the curtains. Georgia’s soft snoring came from the single bed by the wall. Keira lay beside the empty space in the double, her breathing slow and steady, as though she was deeply asleep.

Leah eased the door shut and crept across the room, careful not to wake either of them. She peeled back the duvet and slid into her side of the double bed, facing away from Keira. The sheets were cold against her skin, but that wasn’t what made her shiver.

She buried her face in the pillow, biting down on the fabric. For a moment she thought she could keep it in, that she could swallow it down like she’d done for months. But the second her chest hitched, it was like a dam broke.

Silent sobs shook her shoulders, sharp and uncontrollable. She pressed her fist to her mouth, desperate to muffle the sound, but it kept breaking through. Her tears soaked into the pillow, her whole body trembling.

She’d held it together all day—when Florence laughed across the table, when Alexia adjusted her scarf, when Florence sang with Katie like nothing had ever been broken. She’d smiled, nodded, gone along with the banter.

But here, in the dark, there was nothing holding her together anymore.

She’d lost her. She’d thrown it all away with her own two hands.

The mattress dipped slightly behind her.

“Lee?” Keira’s voice was groggy, but full of concern. She shifted closer, her hand brushing Leah’s shoulder. “Hey… what’s going on?”

Leah squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to stop. To not drag Keira into this. But the sobs kept breaking free, louder now, harder to contain.

Keira sat up fully, leaning over her. In the dim light she could make out Leah’s trembling frame, the way her shoulders jerked with every breath. Keira’s heart cracked.

“Oh, Lee,” she whispered, sliding an arm under Leah and gently turning her over. Leah resisted at first, but then she collapsed into her best friend’s chest, clinging to her like she might drown without the anchor.

“I—I fucked everything up,” Leah gasped between sobs, her words muffled against Keira’s shirt. “It’s all my fault. I ruined it.”

Keira smoothed a hand over Leah’s hair, shushing her softly. “It’s alright. You don’t have to explain, not right now. Just breathe, yeah? I’ve got you.”

The sound of Leah’s crying must have woken Georgia, because the lamp on her nightstand flicked on a second later, spilling warm light into the room.

“Shit,” Georgia whispered, already climbing out of bed. “What’s going on?”

Keira met her eyes over Leah’s head. Her expression said enough.

Georgia crossed the room in two steps, crouching down on the other side of the bed. “Oh, love,” she murmured, reaching out to take Leah’s hand. “C’mere.”

Leah tried to curl into herself, ashamed, but Keira held her firm while Georgia squeezed her hand tight.

“She hates me,” Leah choked out, voice breaking. “She hates me and she should. I—I lied, and I—” She stopped, her whole body wracking with another sob.

Georgia’s chest ached at the sound. She glanced at Keira, who just nodded, her face tight with emotion.

“I lost the only real thing I ever had,” Leah whispered, so quiet they barely caught it. “She was it. My person. And I wrecked it.”

Keira pressed her lips to Leah’s temple, whispering, “You loved her enough to let her go. That doesn’t sound like wrecking to me.”

Leah shook her head fiercely, tears dripping down her cheeks. “No, you don’t get it. I should’ve fought. I should’ve told her the truth. Instead, I lied—told her I cheated, just to make her leave me. And now she’ll never know why. She thinks I broke her heart because I didn’t love her enough to stay faithful, when the truth is—” Her voice cracked, and she buried her face back in Keira’s chest.

“The truth is you loved her too much,” Georgia finished softly.

Leah nodded into the fabric, clutching Keira like a lifeline.

The room was silent but for Leah’s muffled sobs. Georgia reached out, smoothing a hand over her back in circles, grounding her. She and Keira locked eyes again, their throats thick. They knew how long Leah had carried this, how deeply it cut her.

“Leah,” Keira said gently, pulling back just enough to meet her eyes. “Listen to me, yeah? You’re not a bad person for what you did. You made a choice you thought was selfless. Painful, but selfless. That’s not nothing.”

Leah sniffled, shaking her head. “It doesn’t matter. She doesn’t see it like that. She’ll never forgive me. And I don’t blame her.”

Georgia leaned forward, taking Leah’s hand between both of hers. “Maybe not now. Maybe not soon. But the truth always finds its way out. And when it does, at least she’ll finally know you never stopped loving her.”

That broke something in Leah all over again, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. She clung tighter to both of them, her voice breaking into pieces. “I just… I just miss her so much.”

Keira pressed her cheek against Leah’s hair, whispering, “I know. We know.”

Georgia stroked her thumb over Leah’s knuckles. “We’re right here, Lee. You don’t have to carry this on your own anymore.”

For a long while, that’s all there was—Leah sobbing quietly between them, her friends holding her like they could glue her back together with their warmth alone.

Eventually, her breathing slowed, hiccups fading into shaky exhales. Keira pulled the blanket higher over her, still holding her close. Georgia gave her hand one last squeeze before climbing back into her bed, leaving the lamp on low.

Leah’s eyes were swollen, her voice barely audible. “Thank you.”

“Always,” Keira whispered.

And with Georgia’s soft breathing filling the room again, and Keira’s arm wrapped firmly around her, Leah finally let exhaustion drag her under.

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

AUTHOR’S NOTE!

so leah and flo have had a proper conversation…reminiscing on their past together🤨 but flo soon realised that she was starting to get too comfortable!

also leah’s breakdown💔 really got me in my feels, like i know she didn’t handle things well but writing her being sad KILLS!

i hope you’re ready for a little bit of drama in upcoming chapters! i’ve got a lot of drama in store😭

but i thought i’d publish this chapter asap to make up for my absence !!

i really, truly hope you all enjoyed this chapter and please don't hesitate to share your thoughts or theories with me! you can drop a comment, reblog, send me an ask, private dm or even use the personalised hashtag for this story — #last christmas: thoughts ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚  which you can find in the hashtags on this chapter!

please like and reblog too, as it truly means the world to me :)

the bar was filled, sweaty bodies, sticky cocktails, laughter loud enough to drown thoughts. alessia was lounging in a corner booth with grace and keira.

one long arm draped lazily over the back of the seat. alessia laughed when she needed to, sipped her drink when expected but her mind? her mind was there.

alessia notices you before you notice her.

you're on the dance floor, violet strobes glancing over your skin, turning you into something untouchable. untouchable but so damn tempting. your surrounded by what alessia can only guess as your friends, maybe work colleagues. she wasn't sure.

the dress you wore clung like sin, sliding over your body like water and every time you moved the silky fabric shifted just enough to give alessia glimpses of purple lace peeking through the straps.

it punches the air from her lungs. alessia's jaw clenched. her drink suddenly burning her throat as her mouth was dry and no amount of vodka cranberry could fix the sudden ache in her chest.. or lower.

your thing with alessia. the situationship wasn't supposed to be the way it was. 'it's casual' you both agreed. alessia was too busy with football to be fully committed, you having a busy work schedule of your own - in both your minds it wouldn't have worked.

so instead it was no strings, just stolen nights between tangled sheets and the quiet vulnerability of 3am confessions that both of you pretended didn't mean anything come daylight.

but then you ghosted her, your schedule being overrun you nearly had time to breathe never mind respond to a message. but alessia told herself she didn't care, told herself it was better this way. football was enough for her. football was safe.

but now you're here, looking like a sin in purple lace, laughing with some guy whose hand is resting a little too comfortably on your waist.

alessia stomach knots, her throat going dry. "less?" keira waves a hand in front of her face, laughing. "hello? earth to less?"

grace follows alessia's gaze and smirks knowingly, "well that explains the staring.."

alessia gaze is still on you, still totally oblivious to the fact keira and grace had been trying to get her attention as well as the fact ella was fast approaching from the dance floor as alessia sipped slowly at her drink.

"less!" ella yelled over the music approaching the booth as keira gave a nod to where alessia's head was clearly at, "you said you'd come dance, c'mon you need to stop-"

alessia hearing her best friend, tears her eyes away too late. ella was already leaning, clocking you on the floor. ella's grin turning feral. "oh my- no way. that her?"

alessia shot her best friend a warning look, "don't-"

but ella was having too much fun, "oh, 'm not doin' anything.." she drags out the words, singsong.

"seriously," keira adds, amused. "if your not gonna go over there.. at least stop staring like a creep-"

alessia rolls her eyes, muttering under her breath, "you two are a nightmare." but the truth? she couldn't stop staring. couldn't stop watching the way your hips roll with the beat, the way your head tops back when you laugh. god that sound still lived deep in her bones.

and then you turn. alessia tells herself to look away, to play it cool but with the way your hips sway with the music and your head tips back with a laugh that alessia is sure she can feel under her ribs.

and then sure enough as the universe must have some sort of vengeance against her. you lock eyes. and smile, slow, knowing and dangerous.

something in alessia snaps. she downs the rest of her drink, ignoring ella's "jesus less-" and keira's smirk. then alessia's on her feet, cutting through the crowd like nothing else matters.

by the time she reaches you, the guy who had his hand on your waist is gone.. good instinct on his part. you turn when you feel her, body arching just slightly into the space she fills behind you. 

"alessia," you say her name like a secret, like a sin.

alessia swallows hard leaning in so close that her breath brushes your skin and for a second she just breathes you in. warm vanilla and something sharper, something which has always undone her.

"didn't know you'd be here," alessia murmured, voice low and rough like the vodka burn in her throat.

"surprise," you whisper a taunt smile on your lips, turning your head just enough so that your lips nearly graze her jaw.

but that's when you do it, when you move with the beat. slow and deliberate. pressing back just enough for alessia to feel the heat of you. alessia freezes for half a second, then her hands quickly find your hips like they were made for holding you there.

you glance over your shoulder, lip curved in a taunt. "did my dance on your lap pique your interest?" your accent thicker, it always was when you'd had a drink. you watch as her face and lips twist with your words.

alessia's breath hitches, her fingers tightening against your waist, "you think you need to ask?" she growls and it's so quiet you feel it more than you hear it.

you spin your face her, bodies barely an inch apart now, heat coiling in the space between. the strap of your dress slips slightly with the motion and the purple lace flashes again. smug and teasing like it knows exactly what it's doing to her.

alessia dips her head, lips brushing your ear as she whispers, "would you hear me more if i whispered in your ear?"

you shiver, hard. alessia can feel it, loves it.

you smirk, letting your lips graze her jaw as you murmur softly, "you only listen when i'm undressed."

alessia freezes for half a second, then tilts her head so your mouths are nearly touching. her voice drops, barely audible over the bass. "hear what you like... and none of the rest?"

the corner of your mouth lifts, slow and dangerous. "exactly."

that simple word burns through her like fire.

her fingers trail slow from your hip up to the strap of your dress, nudging it aside just enough to feel the lace beneath. her eyes flick up to yours, heavy and searching like she's holding herself back by the thinnest of threads.

your breath hitches as her fingers trail, slow from your hip up to the strap of your dress, nudging it aside just enough to feel the lace beneath. her eyes flick up to yours, heavy and searching like she's holding herself back by the thinnest of threads.

then you lean closer, lips gracing the shell of her ear as you whisper something that makes alessia's heart pound so hard she swears the music formed beneath it and when she pulls back, the look in your eyes, it hits her..

'you've made all her inner thoughts sound like "ah, ah.'

and that's it. that was alessia's breaking point. alessia grabs your hand without a word, tugging you through the crowd. you think she's taking you to the exit, but instead, alessia turns sharply, dragging you down a shadowed hallway at the back of the club.

away from the chaos, the bass muted to a pulse. your back hits the wall, cool brick against overheated skin, and alessia cages you in with an arm above your head, the other on your waist.

"couldn't wait, huh?" you tease, voice breathy now. heart pounding as her face is a mere inches away from yours.

but alessia doesn't answer well at least not with actual words. she kisses you.

it's not soft. it's not careful. it's weeks of silence and months of tension colliding in a crash of lips and teeth. alessia's hand slides to your jaw, holding you there as she kisses you like she's starved, like every second without you has been clawing at her.

your hands fist in her shirt, dragging her closer, and she goes willingly. pressing you tighter against the wall, like she can't stand the thought of even a sliver of space between you.

when alessia finally pulls back, your lipstick's smeared and her breathing's wrecked. she rests her forehead against yours, her grip still locked on your waist.

That is, until Emma Hayes showed up in your life. A lifelong dream of yours had been to play on the national team, but you had never truly gotten the opportunity to do so.

Sure, you'd played for the youth team when you could, and the U-21 team, but you had yet to be selected for the national team, much to your disappointment. In fact, you'd been selected once for camp, but had never had the chance to prove your worth as you'd suffered an injury during training and had been replaced on the team.

You'd been approached by Emma only a few months ago, who had made it clear that if you'd wanted to play on the national team that you would have to expand and work on your playing style. Emma had suggested playing abroad somewhere like Spain or England.

Being from the midwest, you'd never been someone who appreciated the warmth that places like Spain had to offer. Besides, you were entirely too attached to cool, rainy days, which you had been informed that England had in abundance. You'd never been, but had always wished to visit the area, and so the decision had been made for you.

It hadn't been incredibly difficult to find a club that would take you, having had some of your friends recently join Chelsea, you were quick to follow.

It wasn't until you first set eyes on the headlines a couple of days after you'd moved to London that the reality of your decision set in, and you were reminded of why you'd never visited England in the first place.

The headlines on the paper in front of you were sharp and clear, a stark contrast to the thoughts which muddled your mind like muck in swampy waters.

"Y/N L/N to Chelsea"

All those memories from years ago flooded in, pushing through the walls that you had built up like water through a cracking dam. Your new apartment in London was quiet, quaint, and dark, allowing you to drown in your thoughts in peace and quiet.

You were reminded of college once more, and of a specific person who you had admired all throughout your college career. The two of you had been in the same year, and had been quick friends when you'd first arrived on campus, earlier than the rest of the student population due to the two of you being athletes.

You could still remember her accented voice like it was yesterday, and could still remember the way you'd frozen in the face of her baby blue eyes. The two of you had first met inside the locker room of Dorrance Field, the primary training facility for your soccer teams.

She'd been arguing with another teammate. Or, rather, debating on the name of "soccer". While you recognized them both from announcements and "meet the team" events, you couldn't actually remember meeting either teammate in person before.

"Clearly, it's football. You Americans are always trying to be different, but it's football." The girls' voice was light and full of exaggeration, and you couldn't help the smile which graced your lips as another teammate responded to her. Truthfully, you weren't really listening, almost entirely entranced by the Englishwoman in front of you.

She was across the room from you, sitting on the dark navy bench which circled half of the locker room as she was tugging her socks and boots on. Her blonde hair had been pulled back into a ponytail, loose strands of hair held back by a white headband.

You weren't stupid, and you had realized long ago that you were gay as fuck— this was only confirmed as you set eyes on the girl. Without really thinking about it, you hopped in on the conversation, a small smile finding its way onto your face.

"It's soccer, actually. You're in America, Miss England." You spoke, having recognized her accent. The comment was incredibly dumb on your part, and you mentally chastized yourself for you idiotic you sounded to your own ears.

Despite the stupidity of your words, the blonde laughed and shook her head at you.

"Not you, too. I'll be one of many who will die on this hill. When will you realize that America is just trying to be different? It would be so much easier if The United States would simply refer to things the same as the rest of the world."

You remembered laughing at her words, now. You'd retorted, or tried to say something to continue the debate, but your words had been swallowed up by one of the coaching staff coming into the locker room with a whistle and a cry for the team to hurry up.

You remembered Alessia giving you a smile before getting up from her spot and jogging out of the locker room, and you faintly remembered forgetting to smile back at the girl, too caught up in how damn pretty she truly was.

From there, the rest had been history.

The two of you had never defined your relationship, you had simply existed. You’d always felt more for Alessia than you had ever let on, for fear that she didn’t feel the same. Even now, you didn’t know if you regretted it or not.

In the end, you had still lost one of the most precious things in your life.

"This should be heaven,

Tracing lines down her back,

But I still hear the words that she said, and I never can go back."

You see her in everything you do in London— you see her in papers as she wins the EUROs, you see her on the backs of peoples shirts. You're reminded of something that you will never be, but also of something that you'll never have. You will never be proudly worn on the back of someone's shirt, and you will never have Alessia.

She haunts you, like some ghost of Christmas past, a reminder of what could have been and what never was, but also of what never could be. Your heart aches when you remember her, your memory of her hazy.

She was on the television screen of the pub you passed as you walked down the street. Suddenly, you'd forgotten about why you were walking in the first place, having tried to wipe every thought of the blonde from your mind. She was being interviewed, and her cheeks were pink from exertion, spots of red on her pale cheeks. She was smiling, big and bright, a smile which you'd once seen every single day and which you hadn't seen in years, and which stopped you in your tracks.

Her eyes had been brighter when you'd been in college, you think. You remembered them to be the brightest of blues, like a birds' egg. However, you could still recognize the victorious look on her face and, sure enough, you saw the headline on the bottom the screen.

"England Lionesses have won the European Championship once again"

For just a moment, you thought about walking in and joining the crowd clustered within the bars. However, the second that you set your eyes upon the names on the backs of their jerseys, you thought better of it and continued on your way.

Alessia Russo. Two time European Champion. Champions League winner. You had to admit that the titles had a ring to them, and that Alessia was nothing but deserving of those titles. However, a part of you smarted, only further serving to remind you of the victories that the two of you had used to share.

You wondered if she still celebrated her goals in the same way that she had when the two of you had been in college. You hadn't made an effort to watch any of her matches— either with her national team or her club teams, which had been a conscious decision on your part. You had thought that seeing her again would only serve to further the pain that you felt in her absence.

Perhaps she still haunted you because she had never said goodbye. Ironically enough, the more time which you spent apart from her, the more you felt like you were a ghost of her past, rather than her being one in yours.

You remembered a time when the biggest concerns that the two of you had were passing your classes and winning matches. You remembered when the two of you had shared the same goals and the same passions and you wondered where it had all gone wrong.

"Time is running out,

You weren't good to me,

And now I feel like running."

The sounds of chatter, laughter, and the clattering of dishes made up the background of the ice cream parlor you, Alessia, and your teammates had found yourselves in after the game.

You and your teammates had come to the parlor at the recommendation of a member of the team's training staff. So far, the praise which had been given to the parlor was worth its weight.

The shop was an adorable, quaint area which fit in nicely beside several niche shops and cafes. The parlor was lined with white walls and, what you could only assume to be children's', drawings of ice cream. The floor was a traditional black and white checkered pattern, and the seating which was offered around white tables was colored a deep red.

The counter itself was filled with several different ice cream flavor options, covered by a clear glass window. Many of your teammates had been excited to try the various flavors which were offered by the shop, but you had chosen your "ol' reliable".

You were sure that there was some kind of pop music pumping softly through the room as well, but you could hardly hear it over the noise of the occupants of the room.

Your teammates were particularly rowdy, having just won a match against a very strong Duke side. You were also excited given that you'd assisted both of the goals which had been scored in the game, connecting with Alessia on the goal which had won the match.

Still new to the team as freshmen, you and Alessia had this odd connection. To others, it looked at though you'd been playing together for far longer than you actually had. If you were being honest, you felt a bond between you two whenever you played.

Perhaps it was because you had similar playing styles, but you always felt as though you and Alessia were operating with one brain cell. You were able to predict her runs better than most of your other teammates and, typically, you were the player who was assisting her (many) goals. It was a match made in heaven for the two of you, one which the team was reaping the rewards of.

Seeing as you and Alessia were currently sat next to each other, consuming the same flavor of ice cream— mint chocolate chip, you were sure that you and your English teammate were never beating the "same brain cell" allegations.

Leaning back against the red cushioning of the parlor seat, you placed both hands dramatically on your stomach.

"Oof," you made a pained noise, playfully wincing at your blonde teammate. "I'm stuffed."

"And lactose intolerant," Alessia said, brows raising as she eyed your empty bowl and then you. "I'm incredibly glad that I don't share a room with you."

You faked offense, one of your hands going from your stomach to your chest in a dramatic fashion as your mouth fell open.

"Excuse you," you said, voice rising in a way which attracted the attention of a few of your nearby teammates. "You would be honored to room with someone of the likes of me."

Before Alessia could respond, one of your teammates piped in on the conversation from the table beside your own.

"No, you wouldn't. She snores!" Lotte said, giving you a playful glare.

"I do not-"

"And she calls our beloved sport soccer! I mean, can you believe the nerve of her?" Alessia piped in, cutting off your retort and causing Lotte to laugh.

"You're in America-"

"And? It's called football, my love." Alessia said, her hand straying to your shoulder to falsely comfort you.

However, you were at a complete loss of words. You had experienced this a few times before then, but you were usually able to shake it off.

This time, however, you were stuck staring at Alessia with your mouth open. Completely unaware of the "gay panic" which had taken over your frozen body, Alessia made a joke at your expense, one which you were unable to catch.

Then, to make matters worse, Alessia spoke up again.

"Hey, you have… a bit of ice cream on your lip." Her voice was soft, unbelievably so. Your heart crumbled just a little bit more as she spoke to you, and you were pretty sure you looked just as in love as you felt.

You'd known of your crush on Alessia for a while.

Or, at least, you'd known that you had thought that Alessia was very pretty. However, with the more time that you spent with the woman, the more that you realized that you were utterly fucked.

It was impossible to not fall in love with the girl, and you liked every bit of her. From her ability to trip over everything, to her stupid jokes and English terminology, all the way to the passion which she shared with you when it came to soccer. You loved her for all of it, and appreciated her for everything that she was worth.

You were no stranger to having to hide your feelings, having grown up among conservative family members who did not agree with your lifestyle, nor in your choices of partners. Having had plenty of acting practice, you had been able to shrug off most of what had come your way thus far. That is, up until that very moment.

You made no move to brush your lip, or your cheek. That's when Alessia moved, her hand straying up with a bit of napkin to brush at your lip for you. You were sure that your cheeks were reddened with an embarrassed, panicked blush. You were also sure that, to anyone but an oblivious Alessia, you looked like you were completely in love with the girl.

Unable to move your gaze from Alessia's, you stared as she finally took her hand away and gave you an awkward smile.

She set the napkin back down on the table, crumbled up next to her own empty ice cream bowl. However, you hardly paid attention to that, unable to pay attention to anything other than Alessia and her damned baby blue eyes.

"Are you alright?" Alessia asked, seeming unsure of herself. "You… haven't said a word."

Finally, you were able to jolt out of your stupor.

"Huh? Oh- yeah, just tired. From the game, you know? All that running…!" Your voice trailed off, and Alessia gave you a weird look, one of her eyebrows raising in a silent question. You were, however, saved by one of your teammates coming over to talk to Alessia.

You were left to the chaos of your own thoughts, if only for a few minutes as Alessia entertained your teammate.

You were confused about your own feelings, but you were also utterly devastated. You knew that Alessia was straight— or, at least, when the two of you had hung out and had, inevitably, spoken about dating, she had always talked about "he's" and "him's". You hated being a cliche, despised the fact that you were falling for a straight woman and that you had no choice in the matter.

A part of you wanted to run away from it all, and to never look back. It was a self-preserving instinct, one which knew that your feelings would only cause you pain. Your throat felt like it was closing in on yourself, and you felt trapped with your teammates surrounding you. What had once seemed like a cute, comforting atmosphere now felt like your personal hell. You wanted nothing but to hide away, but were helpless as Alessia once again turned towards you.

Her eyes crinkled in the corners as she gave you a smile, and you suddenly felt like you had no choice but to smile back.

And damn it all for the way that your heart fluttered when her eyes met yours.

— — — — — —

"Now the walls are coming down,

Every inch of my skin,

Babe I'm crying out—

I feel you again."

You remembered texting Alessia a few days after the last day of university. You'd finally mustered up the guts to ask the girl on a date, having planned it all— from the way that you would ask her, to the place that you would take her, and to what you would wear.

However, you'd been utterly dissappointed when the girl hadn't answered you right away. In her defense, the text had been pretty plain:

"Hey, were u busy this week? x"

Still, you hadn't expected the girl to not answer you within a few hours. You'd been even more disheartened when she hadn't answered you the next day, or the next.

She'd gotten back to you three days later, while you were asleep. You'd woken up that next morning, giddy once you'd seen that she had finally texted you back, only to read her text and learn that the woman had already moved back to England.

You had never asked her out, heartbroken. You'd decided to give up on your love, as the girl was now across an entire ocean from you and apparently didn't care enough about you to answer your text messages.

It hurt to know that she hadn't even thought to say goodbye to you, and your heart shattered into a million pieces all over again when you realized that everything you had thought you had may have all been in your head. Your thoughts didn't make sense— you had thought that you and Alessia were better than that.

You had hated yourself for a long time, for having such deep feelings for someone and being foolish enough to think that they were returned.

Finally, as your own football season had begun in the United States, you'd focused on your career and yourself.

Now, however, it was much harder to fall into that routine.

Especially as you were about to face Alessia in the London Derby.

The locker room around you was loud, and your teammates were talking to each other. Each of them was going through their own pre-game rituals, but you found yourself stuck in your spot, staring down at the material of your soccer cleats and praying that this wouldn't go badly.

Your heart beat harshly in your chest, and you had forced your hands into fists to prevent them from shaking. Both legs bounced up and down, and your back was tense as you continually tried to think your way through the game.

You several pre-match rituals that you would do. However, you didn't have the heart or the nerve to run yourself through them. You felt terrible.

Usually, before a game, you would have a quick snack and stretch in your own corner. You'd converse with Keira Walsh or Lauren James, as they were both players that you admired and who were very calm during games. Their demeanor typically ran off on you, and would help you to remain calm and level-headed before a game as well.

You would usually change your socks between warmups and the match, and you would change them again during halftime. You would also switch up your hair from a ponytail to a bun, or a quick braid.

You'd succumbed to the nerves and had given up on doing any of your normal rituals when someones' boots appeared out of the corner of your vision.

"Hey, are you alright?" You heard someone ask, and you could have recognized that voice from anywhere.

You glanced up and smiled at your national teammate, Naomi Girma. The girl had been your opponent for a long time at both the college and club levels. She had been a force of nature, and you'd learned a lot from playing against her as well as with her. You were happy, now, to have her at your side.

"Nervous." You said, swallowing as you straightened up and looked her in the eyes.

"Yeah, you look a little shaky. Did you need anything?" Naomi asked, bending down at the waist and bracing both of her hands against her knees. "I know that you usually do a braid or something for matches. Did you want me to braid your hair quickly? Maybe that would help."

Before you could really say anything, Naomi was already pushing your shoulder and turning you away from her on the bench. She didn't speak to you as she pulled your hair from its messy ponytail, nor as she tugged your hair into a braid.

You had to admit that the motions helped to sooth you, as a conversation with Keira or Lauren would have. Your hands weren't shaking as badly, and your legs began to calm.

You could do this. You weren't alone, here.

You had to get over your fear of seeing Alessia again. You hadn't even spoken to the woman since she'd texted you that she was gone, all of those years ago. You'd felt betrayed, then, and pained.

Now, the space and time between you had allowed your feelings to simmer, but you knew that there was fear in your chest that seeing her would awaken all of that hurt once more.

Now that you were able to decipher why you were so afraid, you felt like your anxiety was more manageable.

As Naomi tied off your braid and patted your shoulders, your teammates began to stand and get ready to go line up. After helping you up and off of the bench, you and Naomi joined them.

You felt calm as you ran out of the tunnel with your teammates. You felt calm as you took your position on the field, and you felt calm as the whistle sounded to start the game.

The stadium was loud, just as you remembered from the last time that you had played Stamford Bridge. It was a privelege to hear so many people cheering you on, and that only helped to bolster your confidence as you recieved the ball from Millie Bright.

You carried the ball forward, passing it to another of your teammates before being completely smashed off of your feet by an Arsenal player. As you hit the turf and rolled, you felt the familiar soreness in your hip and arm, which collided with the ground first.

You stayed down for a moment and heard the referree whistle to stop the play. You grumbled, rolling onto your back to stretch out your hips and side, bringing your legs up to your chest for a brief moment, and that's when you saw her.

Alessia had changed a lot since college. She had filled out her frame a bit more, and she no longer played with a headband. She was unfamiliar to you in her red and white, and you supposed that you were probably equally as unfamiliar to her in your blue.

A lot of this hadn't changed, however. Her eyes were still the prettiest color of blue, and she still carried the same fiery passion that she had in college.

She held her hands out to you, in an offer to help you up. You hesitated for a brief moment, and she cocked her head at you. She looked incredibly confused, and her lips were opened as she panted.

Finally, you took her hands and she helped you up, patting you on the back once you were on your feet. She leaned in towards you, giggling a little bit as she did so, and it felt like you were back in college.

"Sorry about that, I tripped over myself trying to get to the ball."

Then, she jogged away from you. She had spoken to you as though you two were still the closest of friends, and you were having a hard time of shaking away that feeling of familiarity.

You didn't have enough time to process it, however, as the ball was kicked back into play.

Part of you was still angry at how normal she had been about all of this. She had giggled to you, as though she hadn't completely shattered your heart a few years ago. She had acted as though you two had never stopped talking to each other, as though you were still in college.

You grit your teeth as you recieved the ball again, but lost it almost instantaneously as Arsenal's captain poked the ball out from between your feet. You chased after her, shaking your head in an attempt to clear it of the fog that Alessia and her kindness had put you in.

You could stew about it later.

For now, you had a game to win.

— — — — — —

"Wish I could open up the windows,

And you could see inside my mind,

I would love to love you, but this heart isn't mine."

The two of you were no longer freshmen, but juniors. Hidden in the back corner of a bar, far away from your boisterous, excited teammates, you were able to observe the crowded bar.

You and your teammates didn't drink during the season, so that you could all concentrate on soccer. Or, as Alessia would put it, football.

You didn't really drink anyway, still moderately traumatized from your twenty-first birthday. You'd taken one too many vodka shots and had ended up hovering over the toilet well into the afternoon of the next day. You hadn't let Alessia help you, despite the girl having held your hair back when you'd thrown up the first time.

You'd sent her home sometime after that and had braved your alcohol-induced vomiting alone. It had only been when you'd finally had the nerve to leave your apartment the next night that you'd seen what Alessia had done.

Outside of your apartment door, she had left you a "Happy Birthday Recovery" basket, full of electrolytes, pain medications, and a sticky note with a hand-drawn stick figure with a balloon, which you figured may have been courtesy of another of your teammates, but which you appreciated all the same.

Despite being able to joke about the incident, you still stayed far away from alcohol. You didn't enjoy the way you felt when you drank in the first place, and so it had been an easy choice to stay sober tonight.

However, most of your teammates had abandoned you to go dance and flirt with the various other people in the bar.

It was only as you strayed over to the bar to request a water that you realized you should have gathered one of your drunken teammates to come up with you, if only for moral support.

Leaning against the bar, you didn't notice the man until it was too late. He leaned in to you, far too close for your comfort, and he reeked of alcohol and poor choices. His moustache had crumbs in it, and his dark eyes were zeroed in on your chest instead of your own gaze.

Your skin crawled at his attention, and you tried to lean away from him, only for him to move so that you bumped into his arm as he caged you in against the bar.

"Hey, there," he said, voice as grimy as his appearance. "What's a pretty girl like you doing all alone tonight? Surely you'd like some company?"

Before you could gather the courage to respond, a familiar voice spoke up from beside you.

"She's not alone, actually," Alessia hesitated for a moment before speaking again, obviously deciding how she wanted to proceed. "I'd like it if you backed off of my girlfriend, actually."

"Oh-" the man said, immediately pushing himself off of the counter and backing up a few steps. He wasn't able to back up too much, as he was nudged by someone else who was trying to pass behind him. "I didn't realize."

You couldn't tell if he was uncomfortable, upset, or simply drunk. However, Alessia grabbed onto your wrist and pulled you away before the man could say anything else, and you two left him in the crowd.

She tugged you back to the table that the team had been sitting at, and which you had previously abandoned to go grab your water. Alessia sat you down on the chair, hands hovering over your arms as she saw the goosebumps on them.

"Are you alright?" She asked you, leaning in to be heard over the noise of the bar.

It had all happened so fast that you had to breathe for a few seconds, processing it all.

"Did you just call me your girlfriend?" You asked, lips curving into a smile.

"Oh- yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't know how else to get him to back off of you, and so I just hoped that he wasn't incredibly homophobic."

"Oh," you said, trying not to laugh. You hated to admit that you liked the way it had all sounded— you liked the way that it sounded when Alessia had called you her girlfriend. You had liked how she had been the one to come to your rescue, although you probably hadn't needed it. As disgusting as the man had been, he hadn't really been all that terrifying, seeing as he had needed the counter to help him stay upright.

You liked that Alessia had sounded possessive when she had talked about you. Your heart fluttered as you replayed the moment in your head, and a blush rose to your cheeks, one which you hoped was hidden by the lights in the bar.

Alessia gave you a curious look, but seemed to realize that she was entirely too close to you as she took a step back.

"Sorry, was that too much?" She asked you, brows furrowing.

"No, it- it was perfect." You said, silently cursing yourself at how lovestruck you sounded, even to your own ears.

"Oh," she said, appearing to be at a loss for words as she met your gaze with her own. The tension between the two of you could have been cut by a knife.

"You look really pretty tonight," you admitted, taking her in for a moment. She had chosen to wear blue jeans and a black shirt with a jacket, which she had begun to take off, only to drape it over your shoulders.

"Thank you, love." She said, and your cheeks reddened again.

Over the course of the last two years, you had never really known where you'd stood with Alessia. While the two of you had never had a falling out, and had stayed the best of firends, you'd always felt like there was more.

Every time that you thought something was going to happen between the two of you, you were left hanging. Be it when she'd brushed a piece of hair behind your ear and her face had been entirely too close for friends, or when she would take you out for "lunch dates" and would pay for your meal. She would call you pet names, and she would cuddle you when she napped, but the two of you were, at the end of the day, just friends.

You had never known if it was all in your head, or if this was all normal for friends to do. At the end of the day, you would have rather had Alessia in this capacity than none at all, and so you had taken it all in stride, trying desperately to shove the massive crush that you had for her deep, deep down.

"Did you want to go get brunch tomorrow? I have someone that I would like you to meet." You looked at her, really looked at her, and you saw something that caused the bile in your stomach to rise.

"Oh?" You asked, harshly fighting the hurt in your voice. "Have you been hiding someone from me?"

You were thankful for the amount of acting that you had done in order to be friends with Alessia for the last few years. The pain in your voice wasn't nearly as obvious as it should have been.

Alessia looked utterly in love. Her eyes were bright, and there was a sickly sweet smile painted upon her features. Her eyes crinkled in the corners, and there was a sort of life to her that you had never seen before.

"Perhaps," she said. "You've been so busy! You're my best friend, and I need you to meet him. He's the sweetest guy, and he's been wanting to meet you, too."

"How long have you guys been dating?" You asked, forcing a smile onto your face.

Alessia shook her head, rolling her eyes dramatically.

"He hasn't properly asked me out, yet. Ella thinks that he's a bit daft, because we've been going to all of these movie nights and he has said that he has feelings for me, but he hasn't made any sort of move beyond that. He's so nice, though. You'll adore him."

You nodded slowly, smiling.

"it's a date, then."

Alessia grinned at you, offering you her hand. You extended your own, clasping her hand in yours as you shook it.

You hated how your heart broke just a little bit more at her words.

You loved Alessia, and you knew that now. It had taken three years for you to come to terms with it, but you had always hoped that something would come of your feelings.

It had all been for nothing, however. Alessia was taken, Alessia was in love with someone who wasn't you.

And because you were in love with Alessia, because you were her best friend, you forced yourself to be okay with this fact. Alessia looked happy, and you would always support anything that would make her happy.

Still, you allowed yourself to feel heartbroken once you had gotten home from the bar. You had given yourself the night to feel heatbroken, and to come to reality over the face that her heart was not yours, not in the way that you wanted.

Then, the next morning, you washed away your heartbreak with a shower and painted over your tearstains with makeup.

Then, you dressed yourself up to go meet Alessia's boyfriend, and you pretended like you were happy for her. The more you pretended, the easier it was to be happy for Alessia.

She seemed genuinely happy with this boy, and he was kind, and intelligent, and everything that Alessia had ever talked about wanting in a partner.

It was hard to feel disdain towards either of them when they fit together so perfectly.

Over the course of the next few weeks, you had seen less and less of Alessia as she had spent more and more time with her new boyfriend. It was then that you truly began to bury yourself in soccer and school once more, if only to forget the feelings that you had for your teammate, the feelings which would never be returned.

— — — — — —

"'Cause I gave it away,

To somebody who never gave it back,

Now it gets in the way of anything worth loving that I have, oh—"

You hadn't really spoken to Alessia in over eight months, outside of trainings and soccer-related things. You'd seen plenty of her on Instagram, and plenty of her new boyfriend in her stories and posts. You knew that she'd visited her home in England for a bit during summer break, and you had no idea if she'd come back to the United States.

Still, you held out hope that she would be at the party you were going to that night.

A mutual friend of yours and Alessia's had invited you to their home to throw a party before the beginning of your senior year.

You weren't normally a party-goer, but you'd decided to go and try to make the most of your senior year. Some of your teammates had gone with you, and so you weren't exactly alone.

You didn't know what to expect of the party, given that it wasn't your normal scene. However, the second that you'd seen Alessia, you were taking a shot with one of your friends. And another.

With that out of the way, you were able to react normally to Alessia when she eventually came over to talk to you. Apparently, she'd come with some of your teammates.

You were, admittedly, glad to see that she had not come with her boyfriend.

Once she'd made her way over to greet you, Alessia was surprised to see the beer can in your hand, and plucked it out from your fingers to give it a sniff.

She raised her brows at you, tilting her head in question.

"You're drinking?" She asked you, sounding equally as confused as she sounded.

"Yeah," you slurred. "What about it?"

"You don't drink." Alessia said, as more of a statement than anything else. You shrugged in response, giving her a lopsided grin.

"I have to make the most of my last year, don't I?"

Alessia gave you another glance, eyes carefully surveying the way you for a moment before giving you a small smile.

"Yeah, you do. How about we take a shot together, then?"

And so, without a second thought, you did.

You didn't really remember the second half of the party, nor did you remember the decision to go home.

The next thing you could recall and be present for, however, was when you stumbled out of a teammates' car. They'd offered you a ride home, seeing how you could barely stand, nevermind walk home.

They'd also given Alessia a ride, as she'd gone shot-for-shot with you and certainly wasn't in any state to walk home herself.

What you didn't expect, however, was for Alessia to stumble out of the vehicle behind you. You didn't even realize that she had until you heard her crying out a drunken goodbye to your teammate as they drove off.

Turning, you gave Alessia a carefree grin, one which she returned.

"Hi, there. You're joining me?" You slurred, pointing a finger at her and getting distracted as your hand drooped. You drew a little shape in the air, one which was intended to be a horse but ended up being more of a scribble.

Alessia made her way over, grabbing ahold of your finger and giggling.

"I've missed you," She said. "Can I stay the night?"

You nodded, allowing her to drag you towards the entrance to your apartment building and through the winding hallways. Somehow, she seemed to know where she was going more than you did, despite the fact that it was you who lived there.

When you finally got to your door, she turned to you expectantly, and you gazed at her dazedly, distracted by how pretty her eyes were.

"Hey, keys?" She asked, hand held out, palm up for you. You dug around in your pockets clumsily, taking several seconds to find them before stumbling past her and unlocking the door yourself.

You didn't realize how close you were to Alessia as you leaned in, shoulders brushing as you opened the door and stepped inside.

You held the door open for the other girl, and she stepped in and looked around. It hadn't changed much since the last time that she had been in there, but she did notice that you'd changed out some of the pictures.

Namely, she noticed that the pictures that had once featured the two of you had been switched out for family pictures, or team pictures. She frowned, briefly, at the thought of it, but you didn't notice as you plopped your keys on the table next to the door and shrugged Alessia's jacket off, hanging it up on a hanger in your closet.

Finally, you turned to her and smiled. She was still standing at the entrance to your apartment, and so you stepped forward and grabbed her hands, clumbsily pulling her further into the apartment.

You knew that this was messy, letting Alessia stay when you still had feelings for you.

However, you were drunk and you didn't care.

You pulled her into your bedroom, thankful that you lived in an apartment which was relatively small. You were sure that the two of you wouldn't have made the walk if the apartment were any larger.

As it were, the two of you barely made it into your room before Alessia was clumbsily tripping over your feet. Her body weight carried you down with her, and you hit the floor hard. Thankfully, your head hit something soft— a pillow or which had not made it onto your bed when you'd lazily made it that morning.

However, you weren't quite as lucky when it came to Alessia, whose pillow and cushioning was your body.

You let out a grunt as her body elbows dug into the skin of your stomach, and one of her knees clunked into your thigh. The two of you lay there in a pile of tangled limbs, and you let out another groan.

"Alessia, I think that you've broken me." You groaned, and Alessia just giggled from above you.

You froze, realizing just how close her lips were to your ear. The sound made your hair raise on its end as her breaths scraped the sensitive skin of your neck. You stayed like that for a moment, before realizing just how wrong it was that you liked how it felt for Alessia to be on top of you like this.

"Less, get off!" You said, trying to push her.

Alessia grumbled into your neck, and you ached to just lay there, with her head tucked into your neck.

"But you're so soft," Alessia whispered, burrowing impossibly closer to you in a way that made you melt and run away all at once.

"-Less," You whispered, resolve weakening.

The other girl raised herself up, just barely, so that her chest was no longer pressing down against yours. Her eyes took you in, lips were parted and cheeks pink.

Her breaths blew softly against the skin of your cheeks, and you were so close that you could count the flecks of color in her eyes.

Then, her eyes closed and she leaned in and you swore that you stopped breathing, and perhaps you did because Alessia Russo, the girl that you'd had feelings for for years was leaning into you and you were both drunk and Alessia had a boyfriend and it was so wrong that you wanted this but you did and nobody was there and nobody would know but it was wrong and you couldn't do this and you were drunk and Alessia was drunk and it was so, so, so wrong and so you steadied your resolve-

You pushed Alessia away, twisting your head so that you could fake a cough and a giggle. Alessia rolled off of you, giggling as well.

When you looked back, the evidence of what had just occurred- what had nearly occurred, was completely wiped of her features. For a moment, you wondered if you'd just imagined it all.

But, when Alessia gave you a shaky smile, you knew that something had just happened, and you were confused as ever.

— — — — — —

"Now the water's coming in,

Time is running out,

You weren't good to me,

And now I feel like running."

Present-day, you run into Alessia at a coffee parlor. She offers to buy your drink, and so you sit with her and talk.

Several weeks have passed since the London Derby, which Chelsea had ended up winning. You hadn't contributed much to the game, admittedly. You'd had higher standards for yourself, but had been subbed out of the game near the seventieth minute.

A few minutes after you'd been subbed out, your side had scored the lone goal that would determine the winner. You'd made it your mission to avoid a certain confusing blonde forward, and so you'd hidden with your team until it was socially acceptable for you to escape to the locker room.

By some miracle, you hadn't had to interact with Alessia since that day.

That is, of course, until now.

The last person who you'd expected to show up at your trusty coffee place was Alessia Russo. However, as you walked in on your off day, Alessia was already there. She was stood at the counter, facing away from you, but you would have recognized her from anywhere and at any angle.

Because she hadn't seen you yet, you were able to admire her for just a moment. Her hair was down today, longer than when you'd last seen it. She wore a light blue jean jacket and black pants, and to you she'd never looked more beautiful.

Just as you were contemplating turning around and leaving, Alessia leaned into the counter and moved, catching your eye from across the room. The two of you stared for a moment, with Alessia making an expectant motion towards herself at you.

Finally, you stepped further into the building, towards the counter where Alessia was waiting for her order to be made.

"Hey," Alessia said as you stopped next to her. You looked at her for a moment, and she seemed unsure of herself as she gazed at you.

"Hey," you returned her greeting, before you were interrupted by the burista. You gave them your order, beginning to pull out your wallet before Alessia put her hand out to stop you.

You nearly startled when her hand met the skin of your wrist, and she gave you an apologetic glance, seeming to understand.

"If I pay, will you stay a while and talk with me?" Alessia requested, and you frowned at her.

"This seems like bribery, actually." You retorted, unsure if you truly wanted to stay and risk opening that can of sardines which you'd long ago sealed and buried.

"That's because it is," Alessia admitted, still staring expectantly at you. At your silence, she pulled out her own wallet and paid for your order, giving the barista a small smile before turning her eyes back onto you.

"You never talked to me after the Derby." Alessia said, and you swore you could hear a bit of hurt in her voice.

"I didn't know that I had to." You said, completely out of your comfort zone with this conversation. It wasn't as though you were particularly good at talking with people in the first place, and you'd always felt like you'd relied on societal expectations and social "scripts" when you had to converse with someone.

The issue now, however, was that there was no script for how to talk to your ex-best-friend-with-complicated-most-likely-one-sided-feelings-situationship.

Damn, that was a mouthful.

"You didn't want to talk to me?" Alessia asked, and now you really could hear the hurt in her voice. You frowned, sighing as you leaned into the counter as well, allowing you to be eye-level with the girl.

"I didn't think that you'd want to talk with me," You said, honestly. "It's not as though we're friends anymore. I'm not really sure what we are, and we hadn't talked since college. It seemed… I wasn't sure what you expected of me."

"I wanted to talk with you," Alessia said, pursing her lips and glancing away as her name was called.

You were given a brief repreive as Alessia went and fetched your orders. She grabbed her own bag, and then yours, gesturing with her head for you to follow her.

She lead you to a table in the corner of the cafe, and you sat down.

Alessia took a bagel out of her bag and took a sip out of her coffee, seeming to be taking a moment to figure out what she wanted to say before she spoke some moments later.

"I didn't mean for it to be so confusing for you." She said.

"Well, it is," You hated how angry you sounded, and made an attempt to soften your words.

"Why is it so confusing for you? We're friends, why would you doubt that?" Alessia asked, voice rising.

"We haven't talked since college, Less. You left without even saying goodbye, and haven't responded to me since. How would that seem to you? Because, to me, it certainly didn't seem like we were friends."

Alessia swallowed nervously, looking away for a moment before glancing back at you.

"I had to figure some things out. I was busy, trying to work my way through Manchester United, and then through Arsenal… and through the national team. I've been busy."

"I've been busy, too," you said, shrugging. "I would have made the time for you. You're important to me."

You hated that you'd said that she is important to you, and not that she was. You hated that you still cared after all this time, after she'd left you in the dust and had, only now, decided that she'd wanted to pick up the pieces of what she'd broken long ago.

"You're important to me, too. I never meant to hurt your feelings, or make you think that you weren't." Alessia said, and you caught her gaze again. There was something in her eyes that made you pause, a light which you recognized from your college years, that same light that you'd seen when she'd talked about her ex-boyfriend… that same light that you'd seen in her eyes when the two of you had nearly drunkenly kissed in your room after a party. You weren't sure what that light meant, nor how she was feeling, but you were more confused than ever.

"Less, I don't think this is a good idea." You confessed, already moving to get up.

"What, talking?" Alessia asked, standing as well.

"Yeah— it's, I can't do this. You really did hurt me, by disappearing. You know that?"

"I'm sorry, I really did have a lot to work through." Alessia said, and you shrugged, already moving away from her.

"Look, I appreciate you buying my breakfast, but I really should go-"

"It was you," Alessia said, interrupting whatever you'd been trying to say. It was all forgotten in a moment, when you met Alessia's eyes.

Her gaze was intense, focused on you with a sort of frenzy of that of someone who'd just taken the biggest risk of their life and was waiting for the results of their risk.

The seconds ticked by, with no response from you. Alessia's shoulders fell, just for a moment, and her lips pursed, a nervous tick of hers that you'd noticed and known about since college.

It took a moment for you to process what she'd said, and you stared at the girl, confused.

"What…? What was me?" Okay, so perhaps you still hadn't processed what she'd said.

"I had to work through things, about you. I was confused about you," Alessia said, struggling to find the words to explain what she wanted to say. "I left without a goodbye because I thought that I'd fumbled any chance that I had with you, and I didn't even know how it would all work if I hadn't. I had to work it all out, because I was hurting and confused and I had an entire career ahead of me. You get that, right?"

Alessia's chest heaved a deep breath as your own breath caught. You stared at her, completely dumbfounded as you were faced with the truth for the first time in nearly seven years.

"You… had feelings… for me?" You asked, working your way through her sentences.

"Yeah," Alessia said, eyes searching your own for some sort of response other than confusion.

You weren't sure how you should feel about the entire thing. On one hand, you were eccastic to know that you hadn't been completely delusional all throughout college. On another hand, you'd been forced to watch Alessia date others and leave you without saying goodbye. Had she had feelings for you, then? Why wouldn't she have ever said anything to you, instead of simply leaving you and trying to work though it on your own?

Your mind spun, stuck on all of the what-if's and why's of the newly revealed information.

"I- I never knew." Now, you could really hear the hurt in your own voice. You felt like you should have been much happier. After all, this was all that you'd ever wanted. Instead, you felt betrayed, in a way, and confused.

"That was kind of the point." Alessia said, cringing.

"You could have told me," You whispered, hurt. You weren't sure why you were hurt, and perhaps it was because you'd been concealing your feelings so long that you weren't sure what to do now that your feelings had been validated.

"I didn't know if I could." Alessia whispered back, fingers still gripping tightly to your wrist.

"I- I think that I should go." You whispered, still unable to wrap your mind around what had just transpired.

"No- wait," Alessia said, hand still holding onto you, touch grounding and tethering you to Earth as your thoughts whirled around like a storm in your mind. "Text me, call me— something, please?"

You stared at her for a moment before you finally nodded.

"Yeah, I will," you said, voice sounding weak. "I just… I need a bit of time, to think about all of this."

Alessia nodded, finally letting go of your wrist. You took one last glance at her, from her brililant, blue eyes to her quaking hands. You offered her a small smile, and she returned it.

Then, you turned away and walked out of the cafe.

"Now the walls are coming down,

Every inch of my skin,

Babe I'm crying out—"

You weren't really sure what had brought you to the plain, concrete steps of Alessia's doorsteps. If anything, you should have been doing anything to avoid the girl.

She had, in short, treated you like absolute garbage since she'd begun dating her boyfriend. As you had found out very recently, however, she and her boyfriend had broken up.

It wasn't as though Alessia had been to you. You'd spoken to each other, but not to the extent that the two of you had used to talk. You no longer had movie nights, and you no longer traveled to practice and team bonding together. By getting together with her boyfriend, it had felt as though the two of you had split up.

Alessia had called you the night before, completely torn up about the breakup. She had stated that it had been because she was moving once she graduated, and that her boyfriend had not wanted to continue a relationship with an ocean between them.

She had never gone outright and said it, but Alessia had always been someone who had adored holidays. She enjoyed Halloween, and Christmas, and she enjoyed Valentines Day, despite how many times the two of you had argued over its inherent lack of romance, as you had always thought that Valentines Day was solely rooted in commercialism.

Once Alessia and you had stopped talking over the phone, you had immediately known what you were going to do. You'd bought flowers, and her favorite chocolates, as well as an adorable stuffed bear that you'd seen while on the way to the checkout area at the store.

A part of you hated yourself for how easily you were going back to Alessia, especially knowing that you still loved her after all of this time. However, you also knew that she was upset, and that this was important to her.

So that was how you found herself on her doorstep, knocking rather awkwardly at her door and waiting for her to answer.

Once she did, you were taken aback by her appearance. She wore a pair of grey sweatpants and a UNC shirt, and her blonde hair was tugged back into a low bun. She took you in, slowly, and you felt slightly overdressed for the occassion, despite the fact that you were just wearing jeans and a crop top.

She looked at the flowers, chocolates, and stuffed animal which were gathered in your arms and grinned. Immediately, all of the pain that she had caused you over the course of the last few months had washed away, and you couldn't help but smile back.

"Oh- you shouldn't have. Are those for me?" Alessia asked, stepping out from her doorway to take the chocolates and bear from you.

"I figured you would need some cheering up today," you said, almost at a loss for words. Her smile was so pretty, and her eyes held that same vibrance in them that they always had. Despite the fact that the two of you hadn't been particularly close as of late, you knew that it was all worth it just to see her smile at you again.

She gazed at you for a moment, seeming at a loss for words before simply backing up and letting you into the house. Once you'd stepped in, she closed the door behind you and set everything on her countertop.

Finally, she turned back to you with a smile.

"So, what were you planning for my very special 'cheer up' day?"

You grinned at her, voice quiet as you responded.

"Well, I was hoping that you would be my Valentine. After all, who needs boys when you have your girls at your side?"

You winked, and Alessia giggled, and you ignored the pang in your chest as you realized just how true those words were to you. After pining over the girl for literal years, you'd dreamed of asking her to be your valentine, but you'd never imagined that this would be how that would occur.

You forced down your feelings as you always had, far too familiar with that routine as you plastered a smile onto your face.

"Yes, I'll be your Valentine."

You pretended to be surprised at Alessia's words, putting your hands on your face as you grinned at her.

"Really? That's fantastic!" Once again, Alessia giggled and rolled her eyes at you. "I was planning a movie day, actually."

"I would love that." Alessia responded.

"Good, because you didn't have a choice." You said, grabbing her by the arm and tugging her towards the couch.

You sat down first. Well, more so flopped onto your back, legs going up on the couch as you allowed yourself to relax.

What you didn't expect, however, was for Alessia to drop on top of you. You let out a grunt at the unexpectedness of it all, coughing out as Alessia laughed and rolled, face turned towards you as her chest pressed against yours.

"Hi," she said, and you noticed that her cheeks were tinged with red.

"Hi." You said, admittedly sounding winded and confused. You weren't sure that it was from Alessia landing on you as it was from her being so close to you. It reminded you of that time that the two of you had never talked about, when she had nearly kissed you back at your home so many months ago. Breaths puffing against your face, soft skin against your own.

You'd never felt so at home, but you had never felt so confused before. You wanted this, but you also didn't, as you knew that what you felt wasn't returned. Still, you yearned to bask in this feeling for as long as she would allow you to.

Apparently, so did Alessia.

Instead of moving, she seemed to snuggle in further, lips grazing your neck as she moved to rest her head on your chest. Her legs nestled between your own, draping off the of the edge of the couch as her arms wrapped around you in a way that had you wiggling around so that she could do so.

You grabbed the television remote as Alessia made herself at home atop your body, and you tried to ignore the rapid fluttering of your heart as she pressed against you.

"What did you want to watch?" You asked, skimming through movie options.

"A rom com?" Alessia suggested, and you had to ignore the way she looked at you from the corner of your eye. She reminded you of some romantic comedy— the way the two of you seemed to push and pull at each other, like you were constantly destined to be opposites whenever you yearned to be close.

"Whatever you would like, sweetheart." You said, and you saw Alessia blush.

"I like when you call me that-" Alessia said, and you wondered if the words had been spit from her mouth before she could cover them up.

"Hm?" You asked, and Alessia seemed to completely backtrack. You let it be, still too confused to really try to determine what Alessia had meant by her words. You'd been confused about her for so long that it seemed like kicking a dead horse to try to decipher meaning from words that had probably not been meaningful in the way that you hoped they were.

You selected a rom com, settling back against the couch further as you enjoyed the Alessia's warmth.

You sat there like that for several hours, throuh movie after movie. While the two of you would find new positions that were comfortable for you, you noticed that Alessia was always finding ways to touch you.

Whether she put her feet on your lap, had a hand on yours, or was simply leaning into you, she always had to have contact with you.

You blamed it on the fact that she had newly broken up with her partner. You made excuses for her behavior, telling yourself that she needed the contact because she was missing her ex-boyfriend.

You wished that it were real.

Still, you carried on, letting Alessia touch you as she wanted to and making excuse after excuse. You imagined scenarios where she loved you, and not him, which only made you blind to the way she spoke to you, and touched you.

You didn't see the way that she looked at you when you while you watched the television, or brought her things. Always distracted by the impossibility of Alessia being in love with you, you were blinded to her true feelings.

"I feel you again."

Instead of ordering an uber, you walked home. Your mind was utterly consumed by thoughts of Alessia, of your college experiences.

You began to think about all of the times that you had known that you were falling for the blonde, or that you had thought that there was something between the two of you.

The more you thought about it, the more you realized that you truly had been blind to what had been going on. The look in Alessia's eyes— the shiny, lively look that she'd given you when you'd rambled on about things that didn't matter, or when the two of you celebrated a goal, when you studied together and shopped together, you knew what that look had been.

You knew that look in her eyes, because you had been all-too-aware of that very same look in your own eyes, all throughout college.

Alessia had been looking at you with nothing but love, just as you had been looking at her.

Alessia Russo had loved you, and had run away from you because she didn't know what to do about her love.

You loved Alessia, too, and you'd just run away from her. You remembered how much it had hurt when she hadn't even said goodbye, just when you'd worked up the nerve to ask her on a date. You'd been so close, and yet you'd somehow never felt further from her.

You remembered the hurt in her eyes when you'd walked out of the cafe, but you'd known the understanding in her gaze as well.

You swallowed nervously, staring at the sign on the street for a moment. Another moment passed, and then another.

You had spent so much of your time for the last few years wondering about what could have been and what you could have done. Now, with everything put in front of you like some ultimatum, you would have been a fool to let it all go to waste.

Suddenly, you didn't need more time. You'd known what you'd wanted since you'd first set eyes on the clumsy English woman on your first day of college, and you'd known that you'd loved her ever since then.

"Fuck-"

Without allowing yourself another second to hesitate, you spun around and ran back towards the cafe, hoping against all reason that Alessia had stayed at the cafe for just a few minutes longer.

Your legs pumped faster than they ever had, each step thumping against the pavement in your mad dash to get back to the cafe in time. You hadn't chosen the correct streetwear for your endeavor, and you knew that there would be an uncomfortable blister on the side of your foot in the morning, but you couldn't find it in yourself to care as you ran.

You saw her up ahead of you, opening the door of the cafe and turning away from you.

Your heart stopped for a moment as you saw her begin to walk in the direction opposite of you, and you shouted out.

"Less, wait!"

— — — — — —

"I feel you again."

Several months later after your maddened risk at the cafe, you were playing a friendly match in the off-season. You were enjoying the game thus far, and even more so when you caught who was in the crowd.

Once the match was over, with you netting a goal for your side, you made your way into the stands to go and greet your support.

"You came,"

"Of course I came, I love you and I want to support you."

You stared at her, as dumbfounded as you were when you'd first learned that she'd loved you back. She gazed back at you, adoring and patient as ever as she waited for you to respond. When you didn't, however, she spoke up.

Alessia was wearing your jersey, with your name on the back. Your chest swelled with pride, and you couldn't help but giggle once you realized that it was from college.

"You played brilliantly, by the way, at least for a Chelsea player."

"I'm your favorite Chelsea player, though," you said, leaning towards her and wrapping your arms around her. You tugged her into you, and her hands found your hips easily before wrapping around you in a hug.

She kissed your nose, wrinkling her own nose and leaning away just an inch, giving you a playful glare.

"You taste salty,"

"Well, yeah. I just delivered the performance of a lifetime for you, my love." You joked, without missing a beat. Alessia giggled, leaning back in again and giving you a small smile.

"Mmm, I'm ever so honored."

"Mmhm, you should be," you whispered, leaning into the woman. Your lips were just inches apart, and every part of you burned to close the gap and kiss her, but something held you back.

Alessia had no such qualms, giving you a small smile before whispering.

"Perhaps your lips would taste better,"

She closed the gap betwen you, and any ounce of reserve that you'd once held faded away as you kissed her back. Your eyes fluttered closed as Alessia's fingers gently moved, tugging your jersey out of your pants so that she could burrow them under the fabric.

You shivered involtarily as her freezing fingers touched the skin of your abdomen, and you gasped into the kiss.

Alessia took advantage of your shock, tongue slipping into your mouth before she bit softly into the skin of your lip. The kiss was searing, hot, but you were unable to continue as you realized just how routine this had become for you.

Several months ago, you had thought that you would never have been fortunate to have someone proud enough to wear your jersey with your name on the back of it. You remembered, months ago, how you'd thought that you had lost the very woman that you were holding onto. You had thought that you would never have her again, in any capacity, and now you were kissing her, loving her, and accepting her love in return.

Suddenly, it was as though the world had turned around. You'd had everything that you had never thought you'd have, and you were more grateful than ever to be holding the woman you loved in your arms.

You smiled into the kiss, and Alessia couldn't contain her own smile. Breaking away, the two of you giggled, and you took a moment to stare into her eyes and recognized that deepest of feelings that she contained in them.

You’d tried to suggest maybe not going to work today, but you were just met with a grunt and your keys slammed onto the kitchen table to let you know that she was ready to go.

You thought you might get through the day until Vic opened her mouth and set Alessia off.

“Lessi, you do not look very well” Vic frowned as she came through the door of the changing rooms. You and Alessia had arrived maybe 10 minutes ago and you were off at your own locker getting changed.

“I’m fine” Alessia groaned as Vic continued walking towards you and shoving her bag into the locker beside yours.

“I wouldn’t if I was you” you shook your head and whispered to your Dutch teammate, quiet enough to ensure Alessia couldn’t hear you.

“Seriously though Lessi, you look far too sick to-” Vic tried again, ignoring your comment.

“I said I’m fine” Alessia snapped, scrunching her nose up. A thing she did when she was angry. She threw the last of her loose bits and bobs into her locker and slammed it shut before she stood up. “Follow me down” she barked at you, still annoyed that you’d tried to talk her out of training this morning. You gave her a loving nod and a fake smile which made her believe you were on her side. She walked off towards the canteen on her own, as you put her bag into her cubby for her, which she’d forgotten to do and had left it under the bench.

“I told you” you laughed at Vic who was frowning at you now.

“What the hell is wrong with her?” She huffed.

“Today? She’s sick” you began. “In general? she’s too stubborn to ever admit that she’s sick” you explained.

“Did you not try to-” Vic tried as you shot her a look. Of course you had tried to convince your girlfriend to maybe stay home today and not train, and of course she just scowled at you and slammed the passenger door closed in the car when she stormed out of the house ahead of you. “Right” Vic nodded in understanding.

“The best thing we can do is just pretend like she’s fine, until she’s ready to admit that she’s not” you shrugged. You’d become well accustomed to this routine at this stage with your stubborn girlfriend of 4 years.

You and Vic walked towards the canteen, grabbing your food. You squished between Alessia and Leah, while Vic and Steph sat opposite you. You’d barely taken a bite before it started again.

“Y/n, how did you let Lessi-” Leah began before she was interrupted quickly.

“For god sake Leah, I’m fine” Alessia huffed, standing up quickly and shoving her barely touched tray of food away from her. She’d only taken a few steps away before she turned back. “Y/n” she shouted as you quickly scrambled to your feet, not understanding you were expected to follow her.

“She’s just a golden retriever” Steph and the group laughed

“You okay, baby?” You asked, walking beside her and letting her hand grip yours.

“They’re annoying me. They are asking me constantly if I’m okay that I don’t look well, and I’m fine” she flapped her hands around frantically as you nodded in understanding. Although, your understanding was more aligned with your friends than your girlfriend currently. Alessia was sick, she just didn’t want to admit it. You understood why. The Subway Cup final was at the end of the week and you knew she didn’t want to miss it.

“I know baby, they are so annoying” you shook your head, mimicking her frustration but really you didn’t mean a word of it.

“You know I’m not sick, don’t you?” She asked, a slight sniffle blew at the end of her sentence but you skipped over it for the sake of your relationship.

“I know, you’re fine” you reiterated her repeated word she’d told everyone since she woke up this morning. “Do you need a hug?” You smiled, opening your arms up and hoping your girlfriend who was currently shivering, despite the sun splitting the trees, would take you up on the offer. Her cold body pushed against you, but you didn’t mention the fact you could feel her physically shaking against you. Instead, you just held her tighter, knowing she didn’t need to be pestered right now.

“Thank you” she whispered against your chest.

“Maybe when we get home we could get something nice for dinner? We can just chill and watch a movie? Or one of your shows you like?” You smiled as the girl nodded and pushed back into you.

You tried to concentrate throughout training, but your eyes continued to flick across the pitch towards her. Your gaze remained fixated on her every movement, and every time her nose scrunched slightly in frustration of how she felt. You could tell she was really struggling, and everyone else noticed it too. But she was determined to get through training today and the rest of the week, knowing that silverware was on the line at the weekend.

It was when you finished on the pitch and got to the gym that Kim eventually snapped. Alessia looked like she was going to drop at any minute, and you looked the most stressed out you’ve ever been in your entire life.

“For the love of god, take the girl home” Kim frowned at you, although you were paying no attention. Your eyes were glued to Alessia who had her knees tucked into her chest on the other side of the gym floor.

“But she’s-”

“If you even attempt to tell me that she’s fine, I will murder you with my bare hands ” Kim grumbled. You quickly got to your feet, knowing Kim’s threats weren’t one to be taken lightly. She instructed you to go and get you and Alessia’s stuff and she would get your girlfriend.

“You are!” Kyra demanded.

“I’m not!” Alessia shouted back.

“Steph, tell her” Kyra huffed.

“Kyra, go on a time out” Steph pointed towards a corner in the room.

“Not again” Kyra pouted, slumping off towards the corner.

“Lessi, come on. Time to go home” Kim said as Steph slung her arm around the English girl.

“Why? I’m fine” Alessia protested.

“This is a dictatorship, not a democracy. Let’s go, Y/n is waiting to take you home” she clicked to encourage Steph to start walking and the Aussie felt Alessia slump against her, finally giving in to that fact that she was in fact, sick.

They walked Alessia out towards the car park as you saw the three of them just coming to the front door.

“I’ve got her” you said, sprinting back towards the door after throwing both of the bags into the car and taking your girlfriend out of Steph’s arms and into yours.

“I’m sorry” Alessia sniffled.

“You don’t need to say sorry, Less” you shook your head, looking to Steph to say something encouraging.

“Take the rest of the day off Lessi, and if you’re not feeling better tomorrow take it off. We’d rather you were rested for Saturday” Steph smiled, squeezing the girls shoulder. “Y/n will look after you” Steph added, but Alessia knew that already. You and Steph had been friends for years and she knew, even before Alessia moved to Arsenal and was in Manchester, that you were so overly protective and in love with the striker that you could burst at any second from how much you cared.

You opened the car door for your girlfriend, letting her get comfy in her seat before gently closing it and running around to your side. You hopped in and took off on the drive home, ensuring the music wasn’t too loud and the window was down a little to let fresh air in.

When you got in, she trudged up the stairs to take a quick shower and get changed, while you sped around the house making sure everything was sorted for her when she came back downstairs. Even if Alessia was dying, she would never stay in bed. She much preferred to get comfy on the couch. She waltzed back downstairs in a pair of shorts with your jumper on and sat down on the couch.

She had to do a double take when she seen that you’d laid out blankets and pillows on the couch already. On the coffee table sat a cup of piping hot tea with all her favourite snacks divided up into bowls.

“Ah, there you are” you smiled warmly, holding a hot water bottle in your hands and quickly making your way beside her and resting it on her stomach. “You comfy enough? Can I do anything else?” You asked.

“I love you” she whispered, a hint of a smile appearing on her face as she pulled you in for a hug.

“I love you too” you cooed back. “Can I just grab a shower and get changed and then you can have me for the rest of the evening?” You gestured your head towards the stairs as the girl nodded and a cheeky smile appeared from her.

“You stink” she giggled as you rolled your eyes and laughed at her.

“Glad to see your sense of smell is still in tact” you said, kissing her forehead and jogging upstairs.

“Or maybe the smell is just so bad” she shouted playfully after you. She flicked on a film she had started the other day, while you were out with Steph, that she never got to finish. She got into a comfy position, with a you sized gap between her and the back of the couch.

“Yeah, that’s everything” you said through the phone, coming into the living room. “Perfect, thank you” you hung up the phone before you slipped into the gap between the cushions and Alessia’s body.

“Who was that?” Alessia asked quietly.

“I ordered food from that place you like. The place that you have to ring to order like we’re still living in the nineties” you chuckled as she turned around and your hands slipped around her waist.

“You’re so good to me” she smiled, putting her hand up your T-shirt and resting it on your shoulder blades, scraping her nails against them. “I don’t think I could love you more than I do right now” she pressed a quick kiss to your lips, before you pulled back.

“You want the hot water bottle done again, don’t you?” You smirked.

“I love you” she playfully sang, pulling the bottle off her stomach as it appeared in front of your face. You pushed yourself up off the couch and headed off to the kitchen to get that sorted for her. When you got back inside, you were sent forward and back several more times to get an array of different items. Each time you came back she had something else for you to get, apologising each time which you waved off. You’d do anything for Alessia, especially when she was sick.

You plated up the food when it arrived, cleaned up when you were both done, and carried Alessia to bed later in the evening.

“Do you think it would be okay if I took tomorrow off?” She pouted towards you as you immediately softened at the fact she was finally admitting she was not feeling well.

“Of course amor, I will sort it all out. You don’t need to worry” you shook your head and planted a kiss on her forehead, letting her do whatever she needed to get her comfortable for going to sleep.

-

The next morning you set out to find Kim and explained Alessia wouldn’t be at training today. Kim only congratulated you that you finally convinced Alessia to take a day off.

You trained hard, much to the amusement of the background staff and coaches. When training ended, Renee informed you that you’d be starting on the weekend. Usually, you were a player that came off the bench, so it was a huge deal. You just didn’t want to make it into a huge deal when you didn’t even know if Alessia was going to be okay to play, so you said nothing.

You fell into a similar routine when you got home as you did yesterday with Alessia, running around like a headless chicken making sure she had everything to feel okay for the evening.

“I’ll be okay for the meeting tomorrow” Alessia smiled as you pulled her in beside you.

“I can get you a nice coffee on the way there maybe?” You suggested as you felt your girlfriend squeeze the life out of your arm, which you knew meant that was a good idea.

-

You and Alessia strolled into the meeting, hand in hand, with coffees in your spare hands.

“Aw, there she is” Leah smiled, poking Alessia in the shoulder and quickly taking her off you.

“How is she?” Steph asked as you smiled.

“Feeling a bit better” you nodded as you took a seat beside Steph.

Alessia was sat beside Leah, giggling, right before the meeting started. You watched a video as some coaches walked you all through tactics before Renee stepped in to give the team and delve in a bit further.

Alessia knew when your name was on the team sheet that you had been told before right now, and she understood you kept it from her because you knew she wouldn’t be starting.

“Love you” she mouthed from the opposite of the room.

“Love you too” you smiled back.

Renee had stopped briefly to say something to a staff member before everyone started to chat amongst themselves.

“You two are disgusting” Vic rolled her eyes at Alessia.

“You two are so cute” Steph said from beside you, two different maturity levels on show.

“And to think, you both started off just as cuddle buddies on England camp” Beth pouted, pretending to wipe a tear from her eye making you laugh.

“Has she been looking after you?” Leah asked your girlfriend who was looking at you and your best friend laughing.

“She hasn’t let me lift a finger. She’s honestly the sweetest person” Alessia shyly smiled.

“Yeah, and you can thank me that you’re together” Leah added, smugly sitting back in her chair.

“And why would I do that?” Alessia laughed.

“Less, who do you think assigns the rooms and seats at England camp?” Leah laughed.

“I’ll make sure to thank you in my vows” Alessia teased, standing up to slip over to you and Steph and was immediately bundled up into your arms and joining in on your conversation.

“Disgusting” Vic gagged, earning a punch from Leah.

-

When you got back home you had both planned for an early night before your match tomorrow. Alessia was feeling a good bit better, and was in the squad for the game tomorrow. She could tell you were anxious about starting tomorrow, so she came up with an idea and squeezed your arm to get your attention.

“You okay? Do you need something?” You asked quickly, pausing the TV and already getting onto your feet.

“Would you mind running to the shop?” She asked as you shook your head, heading to the hall to put your shoes on and grab your car keys.

“Ice cream?” You asked as you were met with a smirk and a nod. “Typical” you laughed, heading out of the house.

You must have tried three different shops, and not one of them had the ice cream you knew Alessia wanted. You sighed with relief when you got to the fourth shop and saw the tub of the flavour she liked.

“Sorry baby, I had to drive to four different shops to get the one you liked” you mumbled, coming into your hallway once again. “Less?” You shouted when you realised she wasn’t in the living room anymore. You walked towards the kitchen and opened the door to reveal Alessia, dressed nicely, a candle lighting and two plates of food on the table.

“I wanted to do something nice to say thank you for looking after me” she smiled, sticking her hand out for you to take.

“And the ice cream?” You laughed.

“For after” she giggled, taking it off you and putting it into the freezer before retaking your hand. “I love you, Y/n” Alessia smiled.

“I love you too, Lessi” you placed your lips against hers, gripping her waist carefully as hers snaked up your neck.

“Come on, let’s have food and we can head to bed” she smiled, pulling you towards the kitchen table.

You couldn’t love someone more than you loved that girl.