nathan

PAST.

Nathan grew up in Texas, on a ranch in a little town north of Dallas. His childhood was one of normalcy. His parents were always supportive, always loving and he had never felt out of place with his own family. Although, he hadn’t the love of horses as they did or the ranch life, they still loved him and wanted him to achieve his dreams all the same. He worked hard on the ranch, and always was around when his family needed a helping hand but he had no prospect of ever taking over their family ranch, or continuing to work there throughout his life. This was not news, or surprising to anyone. The boy had dreams of going to college, getting a degree, becoming a well known writer, perhaps becoming an English professor or opening up his own bookstore somewhere. He had always been imaginative throughout his childhood, and usually had many drawings and short stories taped along his bedroom. 

He excelled through school, always focusing his time on studying and writing. Nathan always had his nose in a book, trying to learn all that he could. He was a quiet kid in school, never exactly stood out by his personality but always with his appearance. He did have an active social life, thanks to his older brother. Nathan had never been one to really shy away from people, anyway – he was just never a initiator like Andy. Although, he ended up sleeping around a lot, never having any fulfilling relationships as he didn’t care to fall in love after watching Andy’s love life crumble through his fingers. He had come to not believe in such a thing, perhaps, he was even afraid of it. Never letting anyone steal his heart, always keeping it caged, he would never allow anyone to hold it. He didn’t want to end up hurt and heartbroken, he was afraid of feeling such things. Besides, his friends have joked that Nathan’s always been controlled more by his dick then his head and heart. 

Nathan did have that tall, dark and handsome appeal that attracted a few girls throughout his schooling experience, but most of them weren’t all too interesting to him. There was only one in particular that caught his eye. At first, it seemed as if both of their feelings for each other were shallow. They both had gone after each other, mostly based off of appearances. They had never fallen in love with each other but they were both arm candy to one another, and enjoyed showing each other off. Although, their personalities seemed to be quite the opposite. She was this preppy, outgoing, loud, cheery, bright-eyed girl and he was just the nerdy bookworm who knew way too many facts about everything, and thought with his dick too much. With that, their relationship through high school was quite rocky and dramatic. They often were fighting, involved in some drama or another, or cheating on each other. Of course, they hadn’t ever made anything official until senior year but they still managed to have a tumultuous relationship that everyone knew about. Everyone joked that they’d never make it past high school, that their relationship was never that deep and wouldn’t stand the test of time and growth into adulthood. Surely, they’d ditch each other before graduation.

Except, they ended up showing those people wrong, at least, if only for awhile. They stayed together through graduation and college. Mina hadn’t any idea what she wanted to do with the future, and Nathan had decided to attend a college out in Dallas. Somewhere he could stay close to family, but be able to go explore the big city while in his 20s, too. He suggested to Mina that she could come, if she so pleased and had nothing better to do. They had spent quite some time together throughout their senior year, becoming closer and getting to know one another past the surface level. He sort of wanted her to come, but never expected anything of her. He enjoyed her company now, although, he was still not in love and he thought the same with her. Well, with nothing else to do, Mina had smiled brightly at him and agreed to move with him to Dallas. They both got jobs and worked hard while Nathan was pursuing an English degree. He had decided he wanted to become an English professor later in life, while writing on the side until he became a fully acknowledged author. During their stay in Dallas, they decided to just get married -- and so they did. 

It seemed the two of them had grown out of their high school schemes. They didn’t fight much anymore, spent most of their time together and took care of one another. They had grown into adulthood, so everyone had thought. Nathan had thought so too, but the moment he caught himself falling in love with Mina – he panicked, and tried to shut it all down. He started to distance himself from Mina, more. Always busy with school, always busy with work, something or another. It was during this time that Nathan ended up having an affair with another woman he met during one of his English classes. She had such a broad vocabulary, and loved all the same literature as him. Not only that, but she was enjoyable to look at and he ended up lusting after her. It could help him get Mina off his mind, to keep the lock around his heart. It wasn’t long before a group of students all decided to go out and get wasted after completing their finals and he tumbled into bed with this woman. It was something he didn’t immediately regret, and continued seeing her and sleeping with her for a few months afterward. Mina had never found out, and eventually Nathan ended the affair when he found out Mina was pregnant. He ended up regretted, filled with guilt with what he did as his relationship with Mina had actually deepened and their bond was quite strong. Still, he never told her. He thought he’d find the perfect time, but it never came.

They moved back to their hometown once Nathan graduated, and had hopes of raising their daughter there. Life went on, and things were pretty easy going. Nathan took a job as a teacher at the local high school, where he loved every second of it. He took care of his wife and daughter, somehow, even on a teacher’s salary. Nathan had come to really want to take care of his family, so that they didn’t have to work as hard. He even got two jobs, just to make sure that Mina didn’t have to go out and get some part time job that she’d probably end up dreading and hating. He took care of them, and life was good, it was happy. He tried all he could to make up for the affair, being as nice to Mina as she deserved. He’d come to realize that she was special, that perhaps, it wasn’t so wrong to be in love with her and he just needed to come clean about everything and his feelings. He shouldn’t be so scared of being in love with his wife, for Christ’s sake. He had hoped to tell her, after their vacation in Disneyland. He was going to sit down with her, face his fears, and tell her the truth like she deserved. She deserved everything, and Nathan felt so bad that he was just now realizing all of this at thirty four years old. 

They went on one vacation, a little birthday present for their daughter after just turning ten. She had wanted to go to Disneyland, so they had been saving up for it. The little family enjoyed their time, and Nathan was thrilled to see the never ending smile on his little girl’s face. They spent the whole vacation in each other’s arms with big grins on their faces. During their last day, they got separated in a crowd and Nathan had called their names and looked for hours for them but never did. He contacted the police, there was an investigation but nothing ever turned up. They simply disappeared and Nathan never saw them again after that. It was something that shook the Brookes family, they all lost part of their family and will never know what became of them. 

He became quite depressed, losing his job and his apartment and having to move back into his childhood bedroom. Nathan didn’t know what to do, and felt as if his wife and daughter might still be out there but he had no idea. He never got to tell his wife what she deserved to hear, never got to tell her that he had fallen in love, that he was an idiot, that he wanted to be whatever she needed. The guilt ate him alive, the heartbreak too, the dread of not knowing what happened to his wife and child. He had no answers, and there never were going to be any. The police had said they were probably dead by now. He didn’t do anything for two years, wallowing in depression and just barely being able to get out of bed. His parents worried, he was always on this cusp of death, teetering on a cliff. 

PRESENT/FUTURE

His sister, Cassandra, got into an accident around the time that his family disappeared, something that he had overlooked at the time. He had been stuck in his own head, incredibly depressed and broken. It was only during a phone call when she was updating him about her condition two years later, did he finally shake himself awake again. Remembering his sister’s accident, how quickly someone can just disappear from your life, it all spooked him. He was so thankful she had made it, and so he felt as if he needed to move out to Eden to make sure she stayed okay. Especially when he heard that Alex was going to be moving out there too, he had decided to pack his belongings and head there too. He wanted to keep an eye on the family that he had left, to make sure that they didn’t slip through his fingers like his wife and daughter. He needed to feel as if he had any control on his life, so he moved out to the town they lived in. 

He has moved in with Alex, for the time being. He doesn’t plan on staying, and is currently looking for his own apartment. He’s still quite depressed about everything, and has been looking into seeing a therapist and getting some type of help. He thinks he could try to rebuild his life, but he feels as if he’s too old and too bitter to ever have some sort of normal life again. He’s still incredibly guilt-ridden and the cage around his heart has only tightened. He had let himself fall in love, and terrible things happened. He keeps going for his siblings, to see their achievements and to be there for them when they need him. It feels like all he can do now, as he feels so lost in life. Everything slipped through his fingers, and now he’s trying to pick up any pieces although it hurts.

He wants to get better, he wants to repent, he wants to change. 

OTHER/INSPIRATION

aesthetics: a warm cup of coffee on a rainy morning, long car drives with the windows down, boots that are worn and dirty, flannels, sweaters, disorganized bookshelves, dirt paths that lead to nowhere in particular, old pianos that play off tune, written letters never sent. 

hogwarts house: ravenclaw. 

personality type: isfp. 

He has always been the closest with his older brother Andrei, as they are closer in age. They were only one year apart, and Nathan followed him around everywhere. They were quite the duo throughout high school, the Brookes boys. Nathan hasn’t seen him in a few years, really misses him, wishes he could just talk to him about everything and hug his brother again. 

Nathan is actually kind of a fuck boy™. He’s gonna try to fuck his feelings away!

His whole wife and child disappearing is a big mystery. He sort of believes they are out there somewhere, perhaps waiting for him to find them. He doesn’t want to really believe they are dead, yet he has no idea or any leads. They simply vanished. He has many theories, one that has started to haunt him is that Mina found out about his affair and took his daughter and left. 

He was a big cheater in high school, the complete opposite of his brother, Alex. It was quite known, but the older he got people assumed he had grown up. He has never told his family about his affair, though but he feels as if the guilt is eating alive at him and he’s so close to breaking. He’s afraid if he ever talks about any of it, that his siblings will hate him.