so let's cause a scene

Babe it is. Love you, babe.

She’s cute. She being you.

Okay… how does babe sound?

Babe is good. We can work with babe.

You better be, jerk.

Hey, take back the jerk.

Me?

Kidding.

That feels really good to finally say.

What took you so long!?

I love you.

I love you, too.

Thank you very much, congrats on your everything.

Is there any chance you can celebrate tomorrow? I need to see you.

Yeah, I don’t see why not.

We are?

Of course we are.

Me either.

Good. I’m glad we’re on the same wavelength here.

Really?

Yeah, really. I don’t think we should miss out on it.

That is very romantic. Lucky them.

I think we should assign a whole other day for our Valentine’s Day.

Oh. Yeah. Are you working, too?

Yep. Hotels fully booked with romantic getaways, so I’ll be making sure we’re fully stocked on rose petals and champagne.

Smart. Sorry I can’t get off work.

It actually works out, ‘cause neither can I. Raincheck?

Imagine how it feels experiencing them firsthand.

I’d rather not.

It’s not February just yet, but there are already patients in the ER who have hurt themselves during intercourse. I can’t wait to see what happens on Valentine’s Day. Oh, and thanks, Chief, for scheduling me on my unluckiest holiday—you’ve actually done me a favor.

I’m both scarred and amused by these stories.