お兄ちゃん

"Fine, at least I can agree on that." Noiz sighed. That whole conversation had felt like a heated debate between Rog, the Australian prime minister and Tyrone, the African Moe prince.

Anyway, the Top Lel Music and Fashion Awards were on, and Noiz didn’t want to miss something critical just because he was talking to this schoolboy pleb.

"The Top Lel Music Awards are on. If you’re not going to watch them, I suggest you shut yourself in your room. I don’t want to have to remember that you exist while my attention is on hot celebrities."

And without another word, Noiz went into the living space and pulled a bowl of Kraft Mac and Cheese from under the couch. Good. It was still warm. After getting a fork from the kitchen, the blonde plopped onto the couch, put on the awards show, and dug in to his meal. 

Lady Gaga and Hyuk were receiving awards for their impeccable fashion taste, both dressed in white suits drenched in salad dressing. What a pair. If Hyuk weren’t so gay, Noiz would have guessed that the two were dating.  

"Hey, Hiroomi," Noiz called form the sofa. 

Damn, Hyuk and Gaga made quite a pair. It was a shame that the salad dressing on Hyuk's suit was not a metric ton of Hiroojizz because he would climb that Korean angel like a small agender tree. Not as much as he would Elton John, though, who rode a St. Bernard dynamically onto the screen with his entourage of Mariah Carey and Park Bom following him on their own well-groomed pugs respectively. What a feisty sight. 

"Can you make me a sandwich?"

Carltonoiz's request took Hiroomi by surprise - did this guy really think Hiroomi wasn't gonna try and poison him first chance he got? Haha, what an absolute spoonhead! Hope you like cyanide in your lettuce you Barry Manilow-fucker. 

"Sure, I'll... make you a sandwich." Hiroomi laughed bitterly, ready to see Noiz pop that existence and move on to Hell where his eunuch carcass deserved to rot.

"Yeah..." Hiroomi replied hesitantly before deciding he could not just let this hang in the air and taint yet another potential friendship. Better to just clarify straight away before ending up with a misunderstanding later, right?

"I'm not a kidnapper, by the way."

This song is for my Hiroomi Donk Bitch Boy. It’s called…

Donk Fonk (it’s a smooth combination of acoustic and R&B. Noiz hopes Hiroomi finds it… Sexy….)

[VERSE 1]

Hey Nase boy How you doin’ tonight Just stoppin by To ask if it’s alright I thought all my life that I was addicted to food But it turns out baby-

I’m addicted to you

[CHORUS]

So please lemme hold yo body Let me hold you close Even if you that my uncontrollable gayness Is hella fucking gross

Lemme squeeze yo body Oooh if even for a minute Because when I see that head of raven hair I just wanna put my face in it (*Noiz squeezes Hiroomi’s shoulder soo tight*)

[VERSE 2]

When I’m watchin’ MTV and I see PSY and GD I say “Damn mama” because I wish that was you and me

Your scarf around your neck And the had on my head Can be shed Before we go to bed (DONK!)

[CHORUS]

So please lemme hold yo body Let me hold you close Even if you that my uncontrollable gayness Is hella fucking gross

"Of course, I do, onii-chan; I just can’t express my feelings well …

"The enjoyment you get out of crushing my heart is too cruel - too cruel..."