surgery is like if sex was awesome
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surgery is like if sex was awesome

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fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘the theatrics of a sick girl.’
[text id: this fragile attempt at metamorphosis / has left me stunted with a myriad of faces]
[woman who has never been gentle with herself voice] I just need to be more disciplined
I need to be punished
also the concept of your friends dealing with people who use them emotionally, sexually and just humiliate them in every possible way and they accept that shit, or where they get back with people who cheated on them... and they tell you this shit expecting you'll say "omg you deserve better" but no, i'm not gonna tell you that, because you don't. you're right where you wanna be lil bro. you decide what you deserve, and this is what you deserve. what you COULD deserve, that's another thing. should we discuss your potential too, the same way you discuss that guy's potential?
what about somebody's potential tho? as in willing to destroy yourself for them bc u know what this could be and that they can give u that? or people with low self confidence who dont know their value? i feel like what ur saying is way too simplified and its also cruel
somebody's "potential" has nothing to do with you. you're willing to destroy yourself for an idea of a person, not the person themselves. you are sort of trying to compromise with who a person is. "i'll love you as long as i believe in this idea of you". that's not even love. you're just deluding and destroying yourself for something that is not real. common human thing to do. been there done that (the most out of anybody i know, with anybody i have ever loved, all of my friends).
deluding yourself and wasting time is loser behavior. inability to see somebody clearly for all of their dirt and ugliness and pretending this incapability is some sort of virtue, loser behavior. this is why people with horrible families are usually losers, or at least in the early stages of life: we had to love all of these terrible people to survive. the love we were taught to feel is nothing but a coping mechanism we had to develop throughout childhood. now bring that shit into adulthood! the cycle you have tried so hard to break will begin once more. what happens to us? we lose, because this is how we are, we have been taught to simply accept the bare minimum and make it to tomorrow. we consistently lose in life, love, career, etc. because we were taught to let people haggle with our value. primed for a loser life.
so yes, people with low self confidence who don't know their value and who constantly choose losers and therefore lose in love and other aspects are also losers. that's what being a loser means.
now you can go ahead and open tiktok or instagram reels where everybody tells you that you're an empath with too much love in an evil world and one day the right person will love you. truth is you just can't be trusted with choosing the right people and you failed in the responsibility of protecting yourself. YOUR responsibility. now what do we call somebody who consistently fails at their responsibilities towards themselves and other people? right :)
yeah, we should start inducing shame in people for their own self hate. and not just when people do drugs and don't go to school. this other kind of self hate, the socially accepted one, this is also a drug of its own. you're being deluded from every possible corner that this sort of self hate is somewhat even honorable. it is not. it's just as pathetic as every other form of self hate. nobody's coming to help. they all love that you're accommodating them. they all love your self hate. so go ahead.

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everybody in this life is at some point willing to destroy themselves for another human being, whether they act upon it or not. to some it may be just one and just once, to others it's a pattern. whatever it is, the object of that kind of affection will tell you a lot about the person. be careful of people who lack dignity and who have an incredible affinity for losers. they are also losers. no, they don't necessarily deserve better. no, they should not necessarily raise their standards. usually they are right on their league, where they should be.
1. you are what you accept
2. you are what you desire
everybody in this life is at some point willing to destroy themselves for another human being, whether they act upon it or not. to some it may be just one and just once, to others it's a pattern. whatever it is, the object of that kind of affection will tell you a lot about the person. be careful of people who lack dignity and who have an incredible affinity for losers. they are also losers. no, they don't necessarily deserve better. no, they should not necessarily raise their standards. usually they are right on their league, where they should be.
Grimm says, “Wishing is the measuring, outpouring, giving, creating power. It is the power that shapes, imagines, thinks, and is therefore imagination, idea, form." And in another place he writes: “In Sanskrit ‘wish’ is significantly called Manoratha, the wheel of the mind - it is the wish that turns the wheel of thought.”
time to fill my whole ear with piercings. will likely take me a couple years but
if hiphop weren't real its existence would sound like an exceptionally heavy-handed metaphor about racism from a really cringe didactic fantasy novel. yeah the racialized underclass in this society, the one that's constantly derided by the ethnic majority as stupid and anti-intellectual, they have a complex artistic tradition based around improvisational poetry which is sometimes enacted on a competitive basis for dispute resolution. you get judged based on the subtlety of your wordplay and the complexity of your internal rhyme schemes. the dominant group periodically gets mad about how this doesn't count as real art like their own objectively more simplistic music and poetry because sometimes it has swears in it
No because I think about this everyday. Hip hop is my favorite thing on earth after reading, only the two aren’t that far away in my brain. The best rappers are readers.
I think the other reason why white people don’t get it is because they aren’t part of the culture. So they don’t understand AAVE. They miss a lot of the wordplay and references as a result. They haven’t been raised on hip hop and the other black genres of music either, so the sounds that inspire a lot of the beats aren’t what they’re used to.
On top of that, because hip hop at its best doesn’t have anything to do with catering to the white gaze, they decide it’s too aggressive or vulgar or whatever else they want to use.
Even when they listen they don’t actually get it. I went to school with mostly white kids, and they all would listen to Kendrick and anyone who went viral in the late twenty tens. But to them, it was like an inferior art form to their other music. The bars that moved me when I was dead inside were lost on them. They’d tell me that Eminem or NF were better or their favorites. While both of them are talented and I can understand how angsty teenagers would find NF relatable, it was frustrating because they saw my favorite artists who I looked up to as uneducated jokes.
Even now, all of my non black fans like some rappers, but only the few that white people on the left have decided are worth listening to. They miss out on so much, and even when they know a song, I end up explaining it half the time.

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Why do you reply to people like that? I dont like seeing you sexualized like that by weirdos. Youre so much more than that
i appreciate it, but i really don't care lol
hard to explain but it feels like youd ease me into it. like having sex with you would feel easy and freeing and i wouldnt be thinking about anything bc id be so comfortable. does this make sense to you?
it does make sense, i think i am good at making people feel comfortable with me physically
aw, you have nobody close that you can fantasize about? rather than a stranger on the internet
what is your description from?
i don't remember the source, it's from a post on here. i've tried to find it again but to no avail. i have it memorized from when i first read it though
sorry, it does. this is perfectly solid advice and i am saying this as somebody with a very horrible family all around. it will affect everything. everything, even if they're grown, cut them off, moved on, different from their parents, went to therapy and "broke the cycle", it will be there. even if they choose differently from their parents, this is not something that will ever leave them and they will see you too through that filter. at some points, you may pay for things that weren't yours to pay for. they don't realize they're doing it. it is inevitable. you can't love this away either.
Alberto Caeiro, The Keeper of Sheep

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the tarot cards said you belong in me
Ailanthus altissima ~ Trees of Heaven, V/24