Marie

Raf: What do you think is next in love for me?

Me: Don't you think it's better to ask, what's holding you back from experiencing that love that you have been wishing for so long?

Raf: you're right. What do you think it is?

Me: I don't know Raf, who knows better than you do? From what I see you love the tragedy, you love meeting new people and telling them about that one time someone did you so wrong you and how much you suffered. It's not just romantic drama that you love, you love having everyone even your dad being the villain of your story, you love thinking you're winning a battle and you wear these stories as if you were a wild animal portraying their battle scars.

Raf: you're right. I should let go. I deserve better than that, I'm a catch.

Me: are you? Really? Do you really think so or are you just creating an even bigger cognitive dissonance for yourself by saying you're a catch and then proceeding to hope someone contradicts you? Why are you a catch?

Raf: because I am an engineer, I am funny, I have great job, I look good, I go to the gym.

Me: so if all those things are taken away what are you? Without that you are no longer deserving "better"?

Raf: you're right, I'm limiting myself

Me: dare to be meaningless.

Raf: that's funny, but I started feeling meaningless and it felt like I was levitating.

Me: you are meaningless.

Raf: What do I do now? Who am I?

Me: you don't need to do anything. Just breath.

Raf: Can you give me affirmations for when I overthink?

Me: sure, just say this "shhhh" and continue breathing.

Raf: hahaha do you have like a more specific one?

Me: yes! "LALALALALA SHHHH"

Raf: now I can be anything I want, right?

Me: sure! Whatever you choose tho, is equally insignificant

Raf: I guess I'll figure who I am.

Me: why not just let it be anything? Why not drop Raf and just let things be, even your identity. If you choose anything right now, you'll just slide back to your habitual patterns. Why not just stop trying to feed the ego and instead let it starve and just live.

Raf: –