𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐍

"Oh yeah? Was it your first?" it sounded like it wasn't your first kiss either.

"Yeah, how do you know?"

Here he is. Laying on your bed, his face was showing you surprise and asking the dumbest question. He totally is an idiot. You let out a laughter. "Don't know. I was guessing." the lie slipped out of your lips like the answer was your second nature. "I'm good in guessing, am I not?" you muttered with a slight smile. Moving your mouth felt relieving, but your cheeks were hurting from smiling so much.

"Uuuu, I think it's magic!" now he really looks like a child, believing in meaningless magic. "You're a magician, right? How lucky I am to snatch someone like you."

With that, he wrapped his arms around your waist again under the blanket, pulling you close to his body. You could feel the comfortable warmth he was giving off. It's dark. Midnight. Four or five am? It's warm. The spring, almost summer, heat is making it unbearable for you to stay like this any longer. But you just ignored it, engulfing him into a hug as you closed your eyes.

"It's warm. Should I let go?" he whispered, his voice laced with worries.

"No... Please don't."

"Whatever you want."

A smil plastered on his lips while he was wrapping his arms tighter around you. Gosh it was so warm. But not even the heat is going to stop you in any way. The once silly conversation got silenced. You were being strangely quiet. So was he. "Something's wrong." he whispered. He just can't help himself. He needs to know what is bothering you. Yet, you're only shaking your head.

"Let me sleep."

"No way."

"Hajime."

"[name]."

Your eyes opened again as you stared at him. He was being serious. Oh. You huffed, letting go of him and turning your back to him quickly, not wanting to see him once again. "I really want to sleep. Can we talk about it later?" you muttered, still feeling his arms around you. "And stop. I feel like we're some married couple. It's cheesy. And a bit weird, I guess." you cringed slightly.

"Some married couple?" he repeated your words, now he was filled with excitment again. "Let's get married then."

"Huh?" you furrowed your eyebrows, even though he can't see it. "Stop joking. It's not the right time to."

"It wasn't a joke."

Shutting your mouth swiftly as you blinked.

"Let's get married."

You have no idea how, but suddenly the heat rushed into your cheeks as the warmth got real unbearable. Your hands immediately went down to you waist, gripping onto his wrist to free yourself out of the hug. "But [name]." he whined, dragging your name into the length, refusing to let you go. Your attempt to free yourself didn't succeed. Now he pulled you back to his chest.

"Stop joking." you closed your eyes with knitted eyebrows, not daring to look at him right now. "Go to sleep."

"Don't you want to?" he asked, sad like kicked puppy.

"Good night."

"Please, hear me out—"

"Good night."

"[name]—"

"Shut up."

He closed his lips again. You had the last word. Of course you do. Why wouldn't you? He pouted and sulked like a child as he hugged you tighter burying his face into your shoulder. It was a peaceful silence. Quiet. You almost fell asleep, until— "Ow!" you yelped, immediately turning to face him while holding your shoulder. "Hajime, did you just bite me?" you narrowed your eyebrows.

"Finally got your attention, huh? I was dying to get a glimpse of your face!" he giggled like a child, not seeing your red ears.

"You Jerk."

"My love."

"Oh gosh, I can't put it up with you anymore!" you cried out and put your hands against his shoulders to push him roughly away from you.

"Well, you did the years before." he chuckled, gently taking your wrist into his hands, careful not to hurt you. "What's bothering you?"

"You are." he's just staring at you sith a smile and you just stopped pushing him away, furrowing your eyebrows. "Fine."

With that, you sat up and stretched yourself. "This is going to be a sleepless night." you sighed and looked down to him, taking a look at his surprised face before turning your back to him and standing up from the bed. "Stand up." your hand wandered to your bouquet of roses, as you took one out. The water dripped on the floor at the end of it as you observed it. "This should do."

"Let's go to the cemetery." you said.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

~

　“LEAVE now.”

You looked up to your father with a fearful expression. Your arms were wrapped around the pitiful figure of your little sister which was covered in bruises. Shaky breaths left your mouth as you shook your head hastily, your throat was dry. So dry that no noise escaped your lips, afraid of the monster towering over your two bodies. Afraid that he would take away your sister. The sister you loved dearly.

Swallowing, you gently pressed your bloody hand against her legs as your little sister tried to catch her breath—the saliva dripped down her mouth as she coughed again. The tears in her eyes didn't help at all as they rolled down her cheek. She shut her eyes, trying to ignore the pain. The pain between her legs. You cried. She cried. He yelled. He took her away. He took his own daughter away. He took your sister away.

"Listen to your father."

Father.

No way. Not even death could force you away. You wrapped your arms tighter around the figure of your sister. Your one hand was searching for the blanket to cover her. She was losing color. She was getting pale. She was getting cold. The light in her eyes are getting weaker with every second passing. He was to blame. How dare he call himself father, no father would be that cruel. Disgusting.

There you sat. Your sister in your arms as she slowly lost her life infront of your eyes. The worst feeling you ever felt. You just sat there like a stupid fuck. But you couldn't do anything, as your father locked the doors and threw the keys away. You don't remember anymore, but at the end of the day, you sat there. With two dead bodies on the floor. The organs are spilling out of his body. You stared at the wall, a bloody blanket draped over your tiny figures.

"I hate violence. I hate violence. I hate violence. I hate violence—"

The blood of everywhere as you tightly held the knife in your hand.

~

"I think I'll never forget this day." you whispered, placing the single flower on top of the grave.

Umemiya stayed silent as you both sat infront of the grave little grave of your sister. Some words are engraved in the stone. "I remember." he said. "I remember, how I stood infront of your door with the police after two days. How they broke through the door after the scent of a person's decomposition is not pleasant. It wad mixed with the smell of blood or sweat."

"And then? What did you saw?" you tightly held your knees against your chest.

"Suddenly, they escorted someone out. You. They took you to the hospital. You didn't eat or drink for two days." he told you. "You were covered in blood. And I refused to believe that you were the suspect in the brutal murder of your father. You didn't speak a word for days as I silently sat beside your hospital bed. Until you broke down."

"You were the only one who comforted me through the night. You stayed by my sight, even though you knew..." you trailed off.

A exasperated sigh escaped your lips as your head dropped on top of his shoulder. "Can't believe you're still living with your mother who comes home once a year." he said. "You should live with me. I can take care of you. Promise." at that you chuckled a bit, remembering his horrible cooking skills. "I can cook, I can clean, I can do the maths, I can do the dishes, I can wash the clothes."

"Right..."

"I learned everything for you. I want to learn anything for you."

"Hajime. Aren't you scared?"

"Of what?" such a silly question.

"Of me."

"No. No, never. Of course not. Why would I be scared of you? The Opposite. You're the woman I love. Every day I wish to marry you before telling myself, if the right comes then it does. I just need to wait a little more. I would never be scared of you. I would do anything for you. I would do your dirty work if you want. Just to prove my love."

You felt the tears building up in your eyes.

"Whisper to me your darkest secrets and most shameful instances and let me love you through all of them."

"Hajime..." you whispered weakly and tried to hide the fact you're close to crying—Well, you already are as you sat up right again to turn your back to him.

"Hmm?" he hummed with a slight smile. "Don't cry. I don't want you to waste your tears because of me."

"Shut up..." you murmured.

At that, he let out a chuckle. "Now, now. Stop crying infront of your sister. She'll cry with you. Infact, she's already crying with you, telling you to stop." he stood up from the floor, walking towards you, just to crouch down again and let his hands find their way under your knees and behind your back. "Come on. Let's go, pretty woman." he turns to the grave again. "Any last words before we go home?"

"Stop crying, [s/n]." you breathed out. "Tears don't suit you... You're a big girl now, aren't you?"

"Well then. [s/n], I promise you to take good care of your sister." a smile plastered on his lips as he turned his back again. "You need to sleep. Don't you have school tomorrow?

"Tomorrow is Saturday."

"Oh."

"Stupid." you sighed, relaxing in his hold as you closed your eyes with a smile. The dried tears on your cheeks were not so bad anymore.

"But thank you for taking care of me."

"Always. I'll always take care of you."

- NAN0KA [ august 27th, 2024 ]

And lastly— At the end, you always stared at the little chibi doodle of someone certain. How pathetic you are. How can a male being make you go all crazy and confused about your own thoughts. You can't even concentrate for your exams because of him as you stared impatiently at your phone, waiting for someone to call. Waiting for the sound of your bell ringing through the apartment.

For hours. Yeah right. You're sitting here since three hours. And you only wrote down one sentence out of hundreds. If this continues, you will fail all your exams. You just know. But today, he didn't even text you once. Nor did he see you today. Well—it's not like he needs to see or text you every minute to survive the day. But he wanted to text you at least once a day, know how you're doing without him.

Here you are. Sitting on your chair infront of a messy table. Patiently, or not so patiently, waiting for him to text. Or call you. Or ring on your doorbell. No matter how long you've waited, the expectations and hope were turned down. Like a puppy waiting for a praise that never came. "I'm such a moron. Why am I even waiting?" you breathed out frustrated, grabbing your phone and making it silent.

With that, you threw it onto your bed, leaning back against the chair. "I should start studying. Yeah..." you sighed, staring at the ceiling for a while letting out a frustrated and loud groan. "Good idea. Don't fail classes... You know what? I should go to an art university." you stretched yourself one more time, before returning to your books and notebooks. It's going to be a long night.

Not knowing that someone tried to call you.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

　Tiredly, your eyes drifted from your notes to the window, just to be greeted by the nightsky. Your table lamp was the only source of light in your room right now as you leaned against your palm. The moon accompanied by the stars shone brighter than ever today. A smile plastered on your lips as you quietly wished to be as alluring as the moon, not recognizing the beauty you owned.

"Gonna get something to drink." you muttered, finally standing up after one or two hours of learning.

You stretched your arms and legs before grabbing a jacket, some money and your keys, leaving your apartment. "How happy I am that the 7/11 is around the corner." you breathed out. The fresh breeze of wind is colder than the morning one. After all, it will soon be summer. Night walks are also nice and you definitely enjoy midnight more than day. Until you get kidnapped.

"Welcome, hello!"

"Finally arrived." you mumbled and got greeted by the entrance as soon as you stepped a foot into 7/11.

Almost immediately, you made your way to the snack aisle and then to the cold drinks. You honestly don't want to stay here any more second, because you already missed your bed. "Didn't even go out with my phone." you blinked, realizing that you forgot your beloved mobile phone as you placed your favorite snack and drink on the cash register. "Another reason to not waste any time..."

You rarely forget your phone when you go out. Oh man. Today isn't your day.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

With quick steps the white-haired man approached your door, his one hand was gripping his phone as if it wouldn't break at any moment if he added the smallest amount of force, while his other hand pressed the bell repeatedly. Now, wasn't he worried? He called you serveral times, but you didn't even pick up as he watched how your phone ring, ring and ring. And ring. And ring. Until—

× The number you have dialed is temporarily unavailable, please try again later.

How many missed calls are there? You always pick up after the second or third ring, but now that it's midnight and you're not answering. He was worried. Maybe you're asleep, the chances are high, but you rolled down a not so small hill days ago, because you were taking a picture of a bunny. And sometimes, he means often, you stayed up till one am. So he would rather take the risk of waking you up than letting you get hurt.

Or kidnapped. Everything can happen. Really. The world is cruel nowadays. No, the people are fucked up. And in Japan, there are many creeps lurking around. Maybe you're ignoring him after he just kissed you. And confessed his love for you. But yesterday you were the same, acting like nothing happend! Umemiya breathed out, thinking of places you would probably be.

No. You're probably just asleep and turned your phone silent. But again, he was worried. He sighed exasperated, his hand ran through his loose hair before turning his back to the door and sitting down, back against the thick metal door. Guess he will sleep here tonight. He closed his eyes for a short moment. Well-he tried. But his eyes opened again, too worried about you missing. He can't sleep if he isn't sure about your safety.

"Hajime?" his first name slipped out of someone's mouth.

No one calls him like that. No one calls him like that with that same voice. Never in his life did his turned snap into that direction that fast after hearing your voice. There you stood, three or four meters away, with a snack and opened, refreshing drink in your hands. You stood there in your cute little pyjama and your jacket draped over your shoulders. The only source or warmth right now.

Until he quickly stood up, running towards you, stumbling a bit, since he stood up immediately after seeing you, just to wrap his arms around you. "[nameeeee]!" he drags out your name in a whiny voice. You could cringe if anyone else would do the same as a growing adult, but it's Umemiya you're talking about. And Umemiya could be whiny and sullen like a child if he feels like it.

It's cute you guess.

"W-What are you doing here?" you stuttered, quietly cringing at the own realization.

You tried to slip out of the hug, now feeling awkward at the touches. Not with someone who confessed his love for you. And not when you didn't even mentioned it once, acting like nothing happend. No way you can do that. And luckily, he didn't mind to let you go. He did mind. But guess he wants you to quickly feel comfortable again. "Since when have you been waiting?" you asked, still confused.

"Just arrived, because you didn't pick up your phone as I called you serveral times. Gosh I was so worried, never do this again!" he ranted about his feelings while your phone was on silent the whole time. "You always pick up after the second or third ring..."

"I had no choice, but to silent my phone. The half semester exams are coming up and I need to study. And my phone doesn't help me at all but to distract me. I'm not going to fail class." you explained.

"Can I stay the night?"

"Yeah sure— No."

"Awh! But you just said yes!"

"No, Hajime. You also distract me. You're a puppy who needs attention 24/7 and I can't have that."

"I'll stay quiet, promise!"

"Stop making promises you can't keep." you huffed, pressing your snack and drink into his hands for him to hold. "Need my keys..."

His face lit up and if he had a tail, it would be wagging side to side in a rather fast pace. "I'll stay silent, promise!" he knows he won't keep it. He absolutely cannot keep those types of promises. While you were opening the door with you keys, his eyes wandered from you and then to your drink. Either he wants to give it a taste or he wants to place his lips at the same spot you did.

Well it doesn't matter at all as soon as he drank out of your drink. "Hey— Hajime!" you yelled furiously. The liquid entered his mouth as it slides down to his throat, making him gulp before taking the drink away again. You stared at him with furrowed eyebrows as he began to grin at the sweet/sour/bitter taste. "You're impossible. Keep it." you muttered, not very pleased as you entered your cold apartment, taking the jacket off.

"[name], I didn't mean it like that! I wae just curious, you can take it back!" he followed you into your apartment, closing the door behind him.

"Keep it." you demanded and went into your bedroom, slamming the door close for your privacy.

The last thing you heard was a whine at the other side of the door as you sat down on your bed. "Short break." you muttered and grabbed your phone and turned off the silent mode. Suddenly your phone got one notification. One ping. Actually, two notification. And then three. Four, five, six, seven— you don't want to start count. Math hurts your head. You cannot see number anymore.

× Hajime (18) missed calls.

You blinked rapidly. A shaky breath escaped your lips until it turned to a chuckle. "Oh god." you fell back and met the soft mattress under your back. The slight smile on your lips betrayed your act before you turned to the side again, your hands were holding on to that precious phone. You looked like some lovesick girl who just entered her teenage phase.

"I feel cringe now." you quickly sat up from your bed as you huffed out. "Stop this, [name]."

Great, now you're even talking to yourself. You can't help yourself anymore, you need sleep. School is bad for you. "School is bad for my health. I should drop out." with that, you stood up, walking towards the door and opening it. Your gaze immediately fell on the white-haired guy who sat next to the door, his eyes wandered up to meet your gaze and then, the calm expression was replaced by a gentle smile.

"Stand up, sitting on the floor is not good." your hands were wrapped around his upper arm, trying with all your might to pull him up. "Since when are you so quiet?"

Right. He was being strange quiet. You thought that the moment you would open the door again was the moment he would jump on you, but here he was, standing up from his place with a grin. "I told you I would stay quiet." he referred to the promise he made minutes ago. "Can I keep you company now? Please, [name]." the tone in his voice was soft and quiet to your liking.

How can you say no when he is being so calm?

"Mhm... Just don't sit on the floor anymore." you muttered, feeling a bit shy now as you averted your eyes to the ground. "If you want to sit next to me, then get a chair from the living room."

You made your way to your desk again and sat down on the chair again, taking a breath in, just to release it seconds later. "It's getting dark. And I'm getting tired." you mumbled. You heard how umemiya easily dragged a chair from the living room and placed it beside you to sit down. "You can ramble, I'm only writing a summary. If I need silence, i'll give you a sign."

"It's fine. I'll stay quiet, i'm close to falling asleep."

Surprised, you looked at him before nodding slowly but surely. "Do what you want." you said and began write down the important information, yawning. How long have you been studying? You don't know. You yawned again while Umemiya was watching you. Your palm covered your mouth as your full focus laid on that shee of paper. Why do you even need that? It's useless.

Should he appreciate that you both are close friends? He doesn't even consider your friendship as friendship. He would never. The thought that makes him the most jealous, is the sight of you with another man. He tries his best to hide the ugly jealousy. But sometimes those men make it so hard for him. He won't let them touch you, because they simply don't deserve to.

And if you one day decide to date another man, who is not him, he would die from the inside. What if your bond isn't the same anymore? What if you start ignoring him? What if you start pushing him away? No, no. He needs to savour every second with you from now on. The future is unpredictable. But never in a hundred years will he be willing to lose you to another man.

"Let me stay by your side a little longer." he muttered.

"What?" you questioned, your attention got away from your notes. "Did you saw something?"

"Let me stay by your side a little— No, nevermind." he shook his head with a smile.

"Huh?" now you're being confused.

"Let me stay by your side forever."

His eyes went outside the window, which was next to your chair. It's full moon today. Should he be jealous? You look lovely, accompanied by the moonlight. [h/c] hair that shines everyday. Your lashes match your pretty [e/c] eyes. And if he's lucky enough to catch a glimpse of your smile, he could die happily. You rarely smile. But if you do, it's the most gorgeous one. He's jealous. That the moon looks so good next to you.

"Pfft—" you chuckled. "You're so silly. Why wouldn't I let you?"

"Dunno..." he answered. "[name]."

"Hmm?"

"The moon is beautiful, isn't it?"

A smile plastered on your lips.

He got closer.

Your arms on top of his shoulders.

His arms around your waist.

A secret kiss.

Lingering touches.

"I can die happy."

Now he would gladly die.

- NAN0KA [ august 13th, 2024 ]

redamancy

After that, he stepped out of your house, closing the door. But not before stealing one last glance at your flushed face and furrowed eyebrows. "Don't get sick." those were his last words as he closed the door. You remember that you leaned your side against the wall, overwhelmed about the thing he just did. The next time you see him, you'll kill him with your own hands. You promise.

Even though you know you'll get weak knees if you tried. "Tsk." you clicked with your tongue, the grip around the watering can gets tighter as you knitted your eyebrows in anger. Why are you so weak? You're sure you can't contain your frustration about your own weakness anymore. "[lastname]-san." you slowly turned to the voice. The moment you laid your eyes on someone familiar, was the moment your frown faded.

"Ah. Kuzuhaya-san." you sounded surprised. But not seemingly delighted.

"What are you doing here?" apparently, he also was surprised to see you, until his eyes landed on the watering can. "You're watering the plants."

"Duh." you grimaced slightly, turning your attention to the flowers again. "And what are you doing here?"

He chuckled at the bitter tone of your voice. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." he apologized, rubbing his neck. "That was pretty out of character of me. Sorry." he apologized again. You still didn't answer him, ignoring those sweet nothings and blocking them out of your ears. In fact, you didn't even have one ounce of care about his apology.

"I didn't ask for an apology." you sighed and touched the pink tulips softly. "I asked what you are doing here."

"Cold." he whistled before walking to the tree near you, to sit down and lean against it. "I'm skipping club."

"That's good for you I guess."

"Should I join the gardener club?"

"Just for you to laze around? Absolutely not."

"Promise, I won't." he chuckled, closing his eyes to relax. "Instead, I'll help you."

"Yeah... Still no."

Now there was silence between you two. It was more comfortable like that. The breeze of wind blew gently against your skin. The spring heat was pleasing, not cold at all and not too hot like in summer. The shining sun felt enjoyable on your body, it didn't burn you like it would in summer. Spring was far better than summer. And you liked spring the most because the flowers were growing.

"Meanie."

"Only because I dislike you." you rolled your eyes, your tongue as sharp as ever.

"[lastname]."

"Hmm?"

Finally, you turned around. Your [e/c] wandered to the boy, sitting against the tree. But instead of saying something, he stayed silent. He only stared at you for a while. "You're being creepy again." you commented, still wait waiting for him to speak out what he had in mind. But he remained quiet. His lips was slightly agape, just a little hit. Like he was speechless because of something.

"Close your mouth before some insect crawls in." you suggested.

You walked to the little garden house of the school to place the watering can to it's rightful place. "Good night by the way." you said, thinking he would nap for a while. "Bye." you muttered and took your tote bag into your hand, making your way out of school in your rather relaxed pace. You had no intention to hurry or be fast. Today is a boring day anyway. You had nothing to do.

"[name]-san!"

A sighed escaped your lips as you turned to him once again. Since when were you on first name basis? And what did he wanted to say? Even though you have no reason to be in hurry, you still didn't want to exchange words with him. Not today. Or tomorrow. Yet you kept your lips shut, because you had the feeling that you two won't talk anymore after today. Never. Only if it's necessary.

"It feels like I'll never have the chance to talk with you like this." he shared the same thoughts. "I like you."

"Sorry—"

"I also know that you don't return my feelings." he interrupted you. "I just wanted to get rid of my feelings, knowing I can't reach you. I'm just not enough to hold a candle to him."

"Good for you, I guess." you looked forward again. "Good luck in life."

Quietly, your legs get you out of school as he still stands there, his eyes watching your back as you slowly get out of his sight. This was the last conversation between you both It's fine. "Goodbye." he mumbled as he sat down again and leaned against the tree. "Good luck with Umemiya." he stared at the blue sky, slightly covered by clouds. It was pretty. Pretty like you were moments ago.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

"Leave me alone." you huffed.

With that being said, you stepped back, creating distance between you and Umemiya, who just smiled down at you. "Why? I'm here to pick you up!" he gave you a hand, waiting for you to put yours on top of his. He's waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And still waiting. "Why are you hesitating?" he pouted a bit. "I'm writing for you hand— Sometimes I feel like a dog around you."

The longer you eyed him and his hand, the more you could imagine the image. You could imagine how his ears would be turned down right now and how is tail wasn't wagging at all. Now you could picture it. "I'm sure you don't like that feeling." you said. At that, he nods wordlessly. "Then why are you still spending time with me? Someone who makes you feel like some... dog?"

"Well..." he thought about it, for a second. "I still want to spend time with you. I want to see you laugh and smile. And if you're happy, then i'm also happy. So, I don't mind."

You knitted your eyebrows in confusion before breathing out. "I will never understand the way your mind works." this wasn't the first time you said those words. You placed your hand into his, as he bowed down a little bit to place his lips against your knuckles while you watched him. "Why do you keep doing that?" you asked and blinked. Right, this also wasn't the first time he did that.

"Hmm?" he stood up again, caressing the back of your hand with his thumb. "You mean the kiss on your hand?"

"Mhm." you hummed and look at your intertwined hands.

"What are you doing?"

The four teen year old boy didn't stop pestering you, always bugging you when he had time to. You weren't even free from his voice for a day. "Writing down a list." you answered and looked up to him. His excitment was visible on his face as he peered over your piece of paper. He could clearly read what was on the paper. Well—he could only read one sentence before you blocked his vision with a beet red face.

"Stop." you demanded with narrowed eyes.

Umemiya could only chuckle at the sight, holding up his hands like he was some innocent guy. "Yeah, yeah." he sat down on the chair next to you. "So you want your future lover to kiss your knuckles every time you see each other? That's kinda cheesy. And sounds like a fantasy novel." he giggled and buried his head into his crossed arms on the wooden table.

"Could you just... shut up?" you roughly shoved his head away from you.

"Ow!" he cried out childishly and rubbed his nose. "That hurts!"

"That's what you deserve."

"You're so mean! I just read what you wrote down!"

"Shouldn't have read that out loud, I guess." you rolled your eyes.

"But that's the fun part at it!"

"Yeah, then it seems like i'm no fun." you breathed out, turning away from him, so he won't see what you're doing.

"How can you say that?" you couldn't see his frown. But you could literally make out his upset frown by the tone of his voice.

"What? Say what." you still didn't turn to you.

"Something that is not true. That you aren't fun." now he was pouting. "I literally have so much fun around you."

"Good for you..." you finally turned around.

Only to see his hand infront you. "What are you doing?" you asked quietly, your eyes went from his hand to his face, switching constantly. You raised an eyebrow as he giggled at your expression. Like a little child. But as soon as you realized what he meant by it, you shook your head hastily. "Yeah, no." you tried to shove his hand away with your flat one.

Keyword: tried. He easily dodged it this time and took your wrist from the side. "No, yeah. Let me make it up to you." he grinned cheekily while his hand slid down from your wrist to your delicate fingers and finally held your hand properly. He stood up and pushed the chair back to kneel down. Umemiya looked up after pressing his lips against your knuckle.

"I'll fullfill the duty until you found the lover of your life."

You burst out laughing, shaking your head side to side. But as soon as your stomach started to hurt, you tried to stop the laughter desperately. You definitely aren't the biggest fan of pain. "W-What?" you trailed off, stuttering a bit, but you couldn't help yourself and covered your mouth. Another attempt to stop your laughter. The pain brought you to tears that are welling up in your eyes.

"Don't do that."

"Don't do what?" you breathed out after calming yourself down. "You should add more after that, otherwise I won't understand it, Hajime."

"Stop covering your mouth while laughing." he added.

"No." you grimaced slightly at the thought. "I look weird while doing that. I sound like a dying rat or something like that."

"It would be weird..." he paused. "It would be weird if I said that the sound of a dying rat."

You looked at him surprised. Oh. He was serious. "Sure." you answered, now it was rather quiet. And you have no idea why you agreed. It literally became a habit to cover your mouth while laughing. Nonetheless, you're giving it a try for him. "Aside from that, why do you even remember?" a little smile formed onto your lips. "I mentioned it once, three years ago. It's not even important."

"Anything you say is important." he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"Nah..." you breathed out. "It was nice to laugh after such a long while."

"That's a sign that you should laugh often!" he held up a finger. "If you look so grim all the time, you'll get wrinkles."

"So I look grim?" you raised an eyebrow.

"No! I didn't mean it like that!" he said quickly. "You should just smile more."

"Uh huh. That's what they say." you rolled your eyes, turning your back to him to hide your growing smile.

"Ah! [name], don't feel offended. I swear I didn't mean it like that!" he sulked and followed after you.

"I still haven't forgiven you for this midnight." you mentioned.

"Huh?" he didn't understand. "But you had fun!"

"No, I didn't mean the dance..." you trailed off. "Nevermind."

"What?! No, please tell me!"

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

You huffed as you placed your phone on the night table beside your bed as you buried your face into your pillow, laying on your stomach, even though you know it's not good to. Your arms wrapped around your pillow, squeezing the comfy cold cushion against your head. No way you're going to dream of that Idiot of a man. There was absolutely no way. But you're probably in denial.

How can someone like him let you feel so embarrassed? You genuinely just don't understand. "That man..." you huffed and knitted your eyebrows in anger before turning around to lay on your back. Your gaze was trained on the white ceiling. The room was dark. You almost couldn't see anything if your eyes didn't get used to the darkness. "He's impossible." you muttered and closed your eyes.

"My love... You're worth every drop of it."

As soon as those words left his lips, you froze, not daring to look up. His hands left your hip to wrap his arms around your waist, leaning close to your face. Ah. Now you were looking him into the eye. His mesmerizing cerulean eyes paired with the most alluring grin. You wanted to look away. But you felt bewitched by his ravishing face. It was unfair, wasn't it? How can he be so pretty?

"I love you."

"Ugh." you rolled around with a red face. While you laid on your side, you hugged your pillow close to your chest and screamed into it to let out the suffocating air in your body. You couldn't help yourself anymore. Because the thought of him, hopelessly in love with you, was killing you. And when he confessed his love for you, you just pushed away. Like some idiot that you are!

And it still didn't stop him from whatever he was doing this midnight while leaving your apartment. You even offered him to stay the rest of the night, but he refused, because it was to embarrassing for him to sleepover. Apparently because you rejected him. Yet he wasn't embarrassed today as he picked you up. He never showed you signs of shame or embarrassment. Such a liar.

"You can stay for the night..." you muttered and suddenly the floor was more interesting than looking him into the eye.

"Just admit that you love having me here, my dearest [name]!" he giggled over your rather shy behaviour.

"No way!" your gaze met his for a second, but you averted your eyes from his beaming face again. "But it's dark and... And... And..."

He chuckled as you trailed off, not finding a good reason for him to stay. "But I feel to embarrassed after you rejected me!" he was playing coy. "Now, good night. Sleep good, yeah?" his act fell to the side as his hand reached out for your hair, his finger twirling around those [h/c] strands. "I always thought it was much work to care about such hair. But you always look so cute, prettying up your hair." he told you. His smile was now calm instead of sunny.

He tilted his head a bit to the side, his hand slipped behind your neck, using a little force and the utmost care to pull you in and then—you felt his soft lips against yours, while your eyes widened slightly. He kissed you. Bofurin's leader kissed you. Your childhood friend kissed you. Umemiya Hajime kissed you. It was just for a moment as he backed away, leaving your now wet lips alone.

It was silence. The only thing you could hear was your own heartbeat. What? What did he just do? Upon seeing your expression, he chuckled again with the brightest smile—no. It was a cheeky grin that slipped onto his lips. He turned around again, opening the door to step out of your apartment. The lights over you flickered a little. You opened your mouth a little to form words.

"You're impossible."

Your cheeks felt hot, just like your ears, that were covered by your [h/c] hair. How glad you were that he didn't see your ears. After that, he stepped out of your house, closing the door. But not before stealing one last glance at your flushed face and furrowed eyebrows. You leaned your side against the wall, overwhelmed about the kiss. The next time you see him, you'll kill him with your own hands.

"Don't get sick." those were his last words as he closed the door.

"He was so..." you muttered, closing your eyes to drift into the sleep.

“Pretty under the moonlight.”

Not a second passed and you opened your eyes, almost immediately. You had a picture of him clearly in mind. A face, you've never seen in those seven years with him. Knitted eyebrows in jealousy, you assume. It matched his downturned, stunning blue eyes. But it was an ugly emotion for such a pretty face. Still, you're sure. Sure you saw a face no one has ever seen before.

The time you closed your eyes was the moment you could imagine the scene again. How he pulled you in for hug. Your arms around his well-built torso. His hand gently caressed the back of your head, following the strands of your hair to the tip. His warmth engulfed you into it's depths. His familiar yet odorous scent reached your nose. The thin fabrics of your uniform and his separates your bodies.

Your ears felt hot. Really hot. What's wrong with you? These past days are getting more difficult to live like a normal person. Suddenly someone hastily rang your doorbell, which lead to you flinching by the unexpected sound. You breathed out, calming down your heart before you stood up from your bed and hurriedly made your way to the door. The rang didn't even stop once.

"I'm coming, i'm coming!" you exclaimed, your hand around the handle before pushing the door open.

Only to be greeted by your white haired friend. Your eyes widened as they followed the water drop gliding down to his chin, eventually falling off the tip. It looked like he had been drenched in water. Maybe he was. But you looked behind him, just to see that the once calm rain, rained harder. You don't need to puzzle long enough to understand why he was soaked in water.

"Hajime, are you insane?" were the only words that left your lips once you regained your voice after a minute or two of speechlessness.

"Don't think so." he answered. He meant it serious. But then his usual loopy smile returned.

"Come in." you forced him into your apartment by grabbing the wet sleeve of his jacket. "It's raining and night. Why would you only wear this..?"

A chuckle left his lips. It sounded rather like an amused one. As he stepped out again. "I just wanted to see you." he explained, ready to leave again. "I thought you would go out and find your inspiration to draw— Long story short, I was worried you'd try something stupid again and get hurt ahahaha..." he rubbed his neck, his laughter trailed off as he smiled at you so happily.

You would never understand what's going on in his mind.

"Look what I drew." he took out a sheet of paper, folded in two. "If you need inspiration, then just ask me. This is just an ugly doodle. Don't judge me please, I'm still learning. Oh! And when you're done, then show me!"

Speechless, you took the piece of paper. "I'm assuming you're leaving again?" you raised an eyebrow. "You'd get sick if you leave now. Don't you live a little further away? To think you walked from there to here. You're silly, Hajime." you didn't open the note, not yet. "You're staying here. You can even sleep over. But you're not going out until the rain stops." you grabbed onto his wrist with your free hand.

With that being said, you pulled him into your apartment again with a firm voice, no room objection. "Wait here for a second, I'll get you a towel and some clothes." you turned your back to him and ran into your bathroom, then rushed into your room to search for your biggest pullover, shirt and comfortable pants. After finding something you immediately made your way back to Umemiya.

There he stands. With that brightest smile stretched on to his lips. The dim light over your heads let his features shine. Sometimes, you forget how pretty his eyes are. Or that little slit over his left eyebrow. His mouth is a pale pink. And his nose is cute. He's stunning. You don't wonder why he's popular with the ladies. You're surprised he hasn't had a girlfriend yet. Really shocking, right?

"Here." you handed him the towel first. "You can change in the bathroom. Want some hot tea?"

"I feel like a nuisance." he chuckled once again. Ah. His voice sounds pleasant. And every time he laughs, it felt like he's blessed by nature itself. "Yes, please..."

"Maybe because you are one? Now change in the bathroom before you get sick." you rolled your eyes.

"Yes, ma'am."

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

　"[name], I searched for a reason to see you." he said randomly as he placed his elbow on the table to lean his head against his palm for support.

"I figured." you sipped your tea quietly and layed your leg over the other one while maintaining eye contact.

"How?" his little smile grew with every second passing. He's in delighted to see you sitting across him.

At that question, you only raised an eyebrow before sighing out with closed eyes. "Maybe because I know you." you opened your [e/c] eyes again to look at his face. He isn't shocked. He's still happy. "It's crazy. Crazy how you would still walk here to my place just to see me, even though it's raining that hard." you tilted your head to the side and lightly knitted your eyebrows in confusion.

"So, am I the first one?" he asked. Why does that even matter?

"Mhm. Why do you care?" now it was your turn to ask.

"Because..." he paused before searching for a reason. "Don't know. But does it sound greedy if I told you that I want to be your first's?"

"First's what?"

"Silly question for smart woman." he holds up one finger, his expression is serious. You can't take him serious at all. "First one to write a song for you. First one to learn something for you. First one to draw you. I don't know— just first's."

For a moment, you can just stare. And then you opened your mouth. No sound leaves your throat. So you fall silent again. "Oh!" he gasped before quickly getting his phone out. "How could I forget! I wanted to show you my phone case." he turned around his phone before showing you a picture. Oh. It's the where he gently pressed his lips against your forehead. But you never send him that picture.

"Asshole."

"[name]."

Did he stole your camera? You stared at him, while he still smiled, probably not even knowing what he did wrong to make you feel embarrassed. You don't even think he has some shame when it comes to love or something like that. "Woops." you muttered, 'accidentally' kicking leg under the table. But he continued to smile. His smile didn't even falter one bit. He knows what he's doing.

Even if Umemiya Hajime doesn't seem like someone who teases their partner or friend, he actually would. He definitely would. He's indeed a sly one, you can tell. Does it feed his ego if he sees you blushing or flustered? You breathed out, a little frustrated, while your gaze was fixated on the phone case. You must admit, this photo was pretty cute in your eyes. But you won't say that out loud.

It was quiet. A comfortable silence. Was it the atmosphere or was it the moon shining through the window? All you heard was the rain hitting the window. You lifted your eyes from the phone case and looked outside. It doesn't look like the rain will stop anytime soon. As a matter of fact, it looked like it would rain all night. Then your eyes went to the clock, which hung on the wall.

[02:17am]

"Let's dance."

As soon as those words left his lips, you immediately turned to him again, pretty dumbfounded. What? "Here? Right now?" you blinked, tilting your head slightly to the side as you furrowed your eyebrows. This man never fails to make you speechless, sometimes even amazed. "You're joking, right? Or is this one of your mood swings again?" you want to laugh. He never has mood swings. Okay, that was a lie now.

"If not now, when?" he sulked. This old child.

"Yeah, no. Forget this idea real quick." you sighed. "You don't even dance."

"For you, I will."

"I know you would. But I wouldn't. I can't even dance, Hajime. And I'd constantly step on your toes." you shook your head dismissive about that idea. "And I'd rather not dance here."

"How about we dance in the rain?"

"To get sick again? No, thank you." you sighed once again. This man would never give up. Once he has an idea he wants to do, it'll never get out of his head again. You just know.

"Promise, it will be fun! It's a one time thing, you know!" seems like he's really convinced by that idea.

"Sure, sure." you clicked your tongue.

"Oh, how about you just stand on my feet while I guide you!" his face lit up.

"I'm too heavy for you."

"Are you doubting my strength?"

Now he had a point.

"To make sure I heard you correctly, you want to dance with me? Even though you and I can't dance? In the rain? And you want me to stand on your toes while dancing?" you summarized.

"Yes."

"Why do you only have the most terrible ideas?"

"Hey! It's not that terrible!" he pouted.

"Why do you have such ideas in mind?" you groaned before nodding. "Okay, let's do it."

Not one second passed as he stood up with a beaming aura. "I knew you couldn't resist my charms!" he grinned, you could only deadpan. "Let's go." Umemiya walked to your side before giving you a hand. You stared at it, thinking again if it's a good idea or not. You breathed before slowly reaching out for his hand and placing yours on top of his, so he can pull you up to your feet.

As soon as you stood, he turned his back to you and began to spring out of the apartment. "W-Why so fast?!" your eyes widened, you almost missed to grab the keys that are at the entrance as he quickly opened the door. You slammed it shut, not having enough time to close the door gently, so the neighbors won't complain. "H-Hajime, slow down!" you cried out, still surprised by the pace.

"Umemiya Hajime!"

He stopped. Almost tripping over the air. He looked back with an apologetic smile while you breathed out. The two of you are standing in the stairwell, about to run down the stairs. Well he was about to while you stopped. At that rate you probably would have stumbled. "I'm sorry, I got excited ahahaha..." he apologized with a closed-eye smile. "Please don't get mad at me for..."

"For?.." you trailed off and knitted your eyebrows in confusion.

Well, for a short while. Umemiya approached you from the side before taking you bridal-style, his one arm behind your back and the other under your knees. "—For this!" he laughed and began to run down the stairs with you in his arms while you shut your eyes and wrapped your arms around his neck. Why was he so excited about the dance in the rain?

"I'm gonna kill you one day!" you shouted. When was the last time you yelled?

"Then I'd be happily ever after!" he answers.

"Not funny!"

"But I'm not joking!"

He jumped down the last three flights of stairs, stopped in his tracks to let you down on the floor again. You let out a shaky breath and held onto his arm. You couldn't deny, Umemiya is a bit of a crazy guy. But his kind and outgoing personality hides this face. Sometimes he just comes up with the stupidest ideas and make them come true. How does the saying go? It's the thought that counts.

"We're steps away from our goal. Come one." he whispered excited. Our goal? He meant his goal.

"Change of mind. I'm not doing this."

You watched the heavy rain horrified. But before you can turn away, Umemiya took your hand and rubbed soothingly the back of it with his thumb. "Naw... Look how close we are." he points to the rain that was near you. The only thing that covers your head are the stairs over you. "Haven't you told me once that you love the rain?" he questioned, averting his eyes from the rain.

"I do. I love the rain. But I hate getting wet." you closed your eyes.

Suddenly—he just pulled you with him with ease, walking towards the rain. "I should've never let you into my apartment." you wanted cry. Well you did. On the inside. He set a foot on the wet floor, turning to you with a smile. Your sleeve is getting wet, while you stayed under the 'roof'. "I will regret this." you muttered and followed him. "But I also would regret not joining you."

"Yay!" he cheered.

Umemiya lead you a little further before stopping and turning to you. "Now..." he paused, letting your hand go. His left arm was behind his back and he offered his right one, while his left foot was infront of the other. He faked a cough. "May I invite you to a dance, m'lady?" he asked and bowed down. Suddenly, you both were nobles in an empty ballroom, wasting your time for a little dance.

A sigh escaped your lips as you role played with him. "It would be my pleasure, my lord." you followed in suit, pretending to wear a dress as you bowed down with a hand placed on top of your chest. You gave him your hand, a sign that he can look up now. And he did. But he was still bowing as he gently pressed his lips against the back of the wet hand. Your cheeks were painted in a cute reddish color.

"If I may..." he whispered and stood straight again, his intertwined his right hand with your left one, while putting the other hand behind your lower back.

The rain was the music. It hit your body softly, your hair is getting wet and sticks on your face while your pyjama stuck onto your body like a second skin. It feels weird. And it irritates you a little. But you can manage, you guess. It's not bad, because you're not the only one getting wet. And maybe even sick later on. Your right hand finds itself on his shoulder again as you slowly stepped on his feet.

"I'm sorry..." you apologized quietly.

"No need to apologize, m'lady." he smiled.

"Drop me and you're dead."

"Language." he chuckled amused. "I would never dare to intentionally let you fall. I couldn't afford to dirty your »dress« with mud, my lady."

With that, he easily took a steep  forward. Then to the right. Making a little spin. Taking steps back. Moving so effortlessly around like you weighed nothing. But with every step you were afraid that he would loosen his grip around you. You closed your eyes. One long lunging step backwards again with the right foot, just to draw the left foot back to close the distance.

Umemiya Hajime was actually good in dancing. Did he learn beforehand? Or what did he do to be so skilled? Did he drink some kind of dancing potion? In this heavy rain too. Actually—you forgot for a while that it was raining as he moved around in circles. You opened your eyes again and stared up to him. "Having fun?" he asked, breaking the silence between you.

Slowly but surely, you nodded. It wasn't that bad. Only because he could dance. Because he could guide you while doing so. And he was good at it. "Could you step off my foot for a moment?" he whispered and took a step to the left again. "Just for a moment please." he plead. "Trust me. I'll show you something." and he smiles at you. How could you say no? He knew you couldn't when he smiled at you like that.

"Asshole." you cursed again, putting your trust into him. You quickly got onto the floor, trying to follow his steps.

But not for long as he placed his hands around your waist, just to lift you up and spin a round. "Since when did you learn how to dance?" you asked and were on his foot again, finding space on his shoulder again. "I thought you couldn't dance. I think I've been lied to my whole life." yeah, you probably were. He doesn't look surprised by the question.

"I learned just for you. I hoped you'd ask me one day, yet the day never came, so I took matters in my own hand." he explained with a cheeky grin. "And when I sat there on your chair, I had the need to dance in the rain with you."

"You learned how to dance for me?" you blinked.

"Am I the first one?"

"Mhm."

"That relieves me. That was actually also my goal. I was pretty worried."

The longer you stared at him, the harder it was to surpass your laugh. "Pfft—" oh it slipped. You began to laugh as he still danced. The rain became lighter. "You were worried that you wouldn't be the first one to learn how to dance for me?" you asked. It sounds silly. But you guess, silly is his second lastname. It must be. You couldn't help but to laugh at the fact again. "Y-You're strange..." you stuttered slightly.

"I know. But I think i'm only being strange when i'm with you." he sweatdropped. "That's what Hiragi said! Still, i'm not that strange."

"Sure, you aren't." you rolled your eyes jokingly, a smile formed on your lips. "If I get sick because of this, you need to take care of me again, understood?"

"Yes yes, m'lady."

"Good."

He stared at you again. The smile on your lips suited you perfectly. If only you smiled more. In this moment, he could die happily. You're smiling, because of him. And even laughing. He deserves an oscar for this. "Gosh... You're so beautiful." before you could react, he stopped to wrap his arms around you, burying his face into your neck, just to breath your scent in.

"I never thought I'd get this attached." he whispered. "Thank you for making me happy every day."

You stayed silent. Not even one noise left your lips. Even though it was raining heavy and you're wet all over the body, your throat was dry.

"My love... You worth every drop of it."

Suddenly the door was slammed open which lead to, you flinching shocked. "Huh?!" you turned your head to the side surprised, seeing a tall male with wet hair. "Wait... What are you—" you paused and tried to process what happend. Your cheeks heated up slightly. "...Gosh." you could only close your eyes and fall back to bed with your hands covering your blushing face. "No... This can't be real."

How you hated to sound like a virgin. But it's fine, because you are one. Right?

"[name]! Your bed hair looks so cute! I should sleep over here more often, don't you think so? Oh my— We could literally watch disney at midnight and make popcorn." his lips turned to his usual sunny grin. "Oh and then we—"

"Shut up." you sighed, rolling out of bed. "It's morning. Let me take a break."

With that, you stood up and walked past him, not without red ears. But still. You can't stand it to hear someone ramble first thing in the morning. And definitely not after you realized what happened yesterday. Why did your dumbass allow him to sleep beside you? In the same bed. With cuddles. You could literally beat up your past you. Your one-day-past you. What were you thinking.

But maybe you just couldn't think straight yesterday because of the fever and all. You probably were high. Yeah. You were high. That's why you let him do his silly things. Must be it. "Stupid sick me." you coughed a bit and entered the bathroom, closing the door behind you. "Who do I even have school today." you groaned and shut your eyes.

You want to cry.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

　"Your hair looks flowery gorgeous." he showered you with compliment. "You smell nice! Wah, i'm so jealous. I wish I looked as pretty as you."

Since when was he so open? You stared at him with a deadpann before sighing out. This is going to be a hell of a walk. You couldn't wish more for a talkative, beaming companion to walk you to school in the morning. "You smell the same, Hajime. You used the same shampoo and shower gel." you knitted your eyebrows in annoyance as soon as he came closer to you.

"But it's different!" he whined, because you pushed him slightly away. "Really. You still smell pretty. How can people even smell pretty? You make the impossible possible, don't you?"

"Stop talking." you muttered, red ears not visible.

The rest of the walk was rather quiet. Yeah no, the silence got interrupted by Umemiya again. "You think I look better with slicked-back hair or like this?" oh right. He didn't have his usual hairstyle. Instead of slicked-back they were loose. Your eyes went up to him as you observed his face while he was waiting with a smile. He always wore a smile. You wonder if his cheeks hurt?

"Hmm." you only hummed.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked, the gleam of curiosity in his eyes grew stronger.

"I like both hairstyles." you really did. It didn't matter if he changed his hairstyle again. He always looked good, no matter what.

"[lastname]-san!" a new voice rang in your ears.

You didn't waste a moment before turning to the voice. "Oh. Kuruhaya-kun." you stopped in your tracks, a little surprised. Your classmate came closer with a smile full of energy. "What a surprise." you said with a blank face. "How are you?" it wasn't a friendly 'hey, how are you doing?' it was rather the polite 'how's life going' question.

"Everything is going well! I heard you were sick yesterday. How are you right now? Feeling any pain?" he smiles and walked beside you, seemingly to ignore the presence next to you.

"Mhm, I just had fever." you held your answers short.

"That's good to hear. But don't you live alone? Who took care of you?"

Before you could answer, Umemiya smiled and joined the conversation. "I did! I'm Umemiya Hajime by the way, [name]'s childhood friend. May I ask who you are?" he introduced himself with the biggest smile. You're sure they'll understand each other, they literally give off the same energy and vibe. And Umemiya is always kind. Depends if you hurt anyone dear to him.

"Kuzuhaya Rikio, [name]'s classmate. I heard about you. Aren't you some big guy around the town?"

"You're right. But don't worry, I'll protect [name], no matter what."

The next silence was unbearable. You just looked at your feet while walking in between them. It feels a little weird. The tension they had was weird. You thought they would understand each other, but seems like they have other plans. You sighed out tiredly. This is going to be a long day. What did you so to deserve this. The mental breakdown doesn't help. At all. You want to stay at home.

"We arrived." Umemiya whispered. "Bye bye, stay safe. Don't skip class, yeah?"

"Oh [lastname]-san never skips classes." Kuzuhaya chuckled. "She's the rather quiet kid.

"I was just kidding. I know she wouldn't. Even though she hates school." Umemiya laughed it off.

"Bye. You don't need to pick me up today. I'm sure your... classmates and everyone else miss you."

"We'll see." he smiles.

Kuzuhaya doesn't like the smile.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

　"Hey." Kuzuhaya whispered, to which you only respond with a hum. "I heard you both are dating. Is that true?"

You stopped in your tracks.

"What? We're not. Where did you get that from." you narrowed your eyes slightly. Are you surrounded by stalkers or what?

"Classmates."

"Yeah, but worry not I guess." you relaxed a bit and shrugged your shoulders, returning to doodling in your notebook. It's nice to have company at school. But it's weird. Kuzuhaya and you never really had a conversation before. Now here he is, sitting next to you during lunch break. Even his friends gave him weird looks. You feel a bit sorry for him if you're being honest.

"You want to be friends, or why are you hanging around me?"

"Oh I thought we already were."

You stared at him with a deadpann.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

　"Psst."

"Hmm?" you turned your head to the side, still listening to the stuff your teacher was talking about.

"Wanna go out after school?"

You froze before looking to the teacher again, acting like you weren't fazed by him. What's wrong with him today? Since when did he start bugging you. You shook your head. "No, thank you. I need to take care of my plants." you rejected him which made him pout. "Sorry." you apologized briefly, but you didn't even care to feel apologetic. "What about your friends? You can hang out with them."

"Nah, they're no fun. They're idiots, fooling woman or playing with others heart." you just are going to assume he has no friends. "What's your opinion about Umemiya-san?"

"Good friend..." you trailed off. "I guess."

"You think I can be like that?"

You turned to him, staring at him while sighing. "If you try hard enough. But I don't think so. Hajime and I are friends since childhood." and he's the only one who can make you comfortable like nobody else can. What does Kuzuhaya even want from you? "Why you asking? Your question are a bit off, you know?" this guy really is weird. "You interested in something or what?"

"Just asking." he hummed.

You only know him for one day. Why is he asking such personal questions.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

As soon as the bell rang, you immediately stood up and packed up your things, not caring if your teacher wasn't done with his talk. Everyone stood up, so why shouldn't you? You don't want to stay in this suffocating, school air. And you didn't want to be stuck with those people in your school. "Hey, [lastname]. Can I go with you today?" Kuzuhaya smiled and followed after you.

"No." you answered in a cold tome. He reminds you of Umemiya. Just a copy.

"But why not?" he whined.

"I like being alone." you got your shoes out of the locker. "Leave me alone. Please."

Maybe he just doesn't understand what you meant. Because he's still following you. Every step. "Kuzuhaya-san. Please stop following me. It's creepy. Even if we're friends, we know each other for like— one day." you stopped to turn back to him with knitted eyebrows. "It's annoying, you know?" with that, you folded your arms and narrowed your eyes a little. "It's also making me uncomfortable."

"Woops, sorry." he chuckled.

"Not accepted. Just leave me alone."

"No, I don't wanna."

Is he a kid or something? He raised his hand and just before it touches you in any way, someone grabs his wrist. Another hand was placed on top of your shoulder. "Please. She said she feels uncomfortable. If a lady doesn't want it, then don't force yourself on her." your eyes widened in surprise as you looked back. Ah. Umemiya Hajime smiled at Kuzuhaya Rikio.

The only thing that you noticed were how empty his precious blue eyes are right now. The usual glimmer wasn't visible and smile wasn't genuine at all. Now that's what you call rare. "Oh, I just wanted to place my hand on her shoulder. How would you know if this makes her uncomfortable? What is she? Your property or what?" Kuzuhaya tilted his head slightly to the side.

"No, of course not. You misunderstood me." Umemiya chuckled. "Women are no toys. They're no one's property. But in this case, I just know [name] better than you. She doesn't look comfortable at all around you, you know?"

"Right." Kuzuhaya frees himself from Umemiya's grasp. "Mister know it all is speaking. Bla bla bla."

"Please. I'm still being polite." the smile didn't falter.

"Uh huh—"

"Kuzuhaya-san. Now you're just being plain rude." you took Umemiya's hand and turned your back to him. "Please leave me, yeah? You're annoying me. No wonder why you have no friends."

"Hah, [lastname]-chan!"

You sighed as you began to speed up your pace while leading Umemiya, leaving your classmate frozen on spot. "Didn't I say, you don't need to pick me up?" you whispered and left the school grounds with him. "I could have sorted it out myself. I noticed you seemed off today because of him. That's why I thought it would be better if you didn't pick me up."

"..."

He didn't anwer. You halted in your steps, then turning to him swiftly. Umemiya blankly stared at the ground, not even a sound left his lips. "Are you listening?" you asked, your one hand laid on your hip. This question seemed to get him out of the thoughts as he finally looked you into the eyes while blinking. You still waited for an answer.

But suddenly he grabbed your wrist and pulled you in for a hug, his arms wrapping around your torso as he buried his face in your neck. "W-What's wrong?" you stuttered, surprised by his sudden actions. But he only took a breath, taking in your familiar, sweet scent, feeling your warmth in his arms. He doesn't need eyes to know you're here. He couldn't be happier.

"The moment we were apart today was the moment I began to pray. Pray to god that he won't take you from me." he whispered.

"You're... You're exaggerating." you're a bit speechless, knowing that he wouldn't lie if it's about god and praying. He would never lie about that. But praying to god because you were at school with some other dude?

"Am I now?" he chuckled with a light smile. "He just gave me bad vibes."

"Yeah, right." you sighed out. "He did... Thank you for picking me up, I guess."

"No need to thank me. It's my job."

"Your job?" now you let out a light chuckle. "Your job to protect me, right..."

"Uh huh."

"Now. Let go."

"Please let me hug you longer. Those hours without you were suffocating."

How many times did you sigh today? Now add another one. You closed your eyes and leaned against him. Your arms find themselves around him. His body warmth was the only one you loved. You hummed as his hand gently caressed the back of your head, following your hair to the tip of it. His scent engulfed your nose. It was your shampoo. But it smelled different from you. A lot better.

"Know what I noticed?"

"Hmm?"

"I never craved attention, until I tasted of yours."

- NAN0KA [ july 1st, 2024 ]

But seems like you caught a cold. Or worse, fever. It's so hot under your blanket and the wet towel over your forehead was also warm. It's also cold. Very cold. And at the same time it's so hot. You knitted your eyebrows slightly at this unpleasant feeling. Right now, you felt helpless. Helpless enough that you want to break down again and cry. But you can't even cry properly.

If you're being honest. This must be the worst experience ever. Worst day ever. Your mouth and throat feels like a dry desert. However, you don't even know where your bottle of water is. You can't even move. How are you going to drink? Are you going to die? By being too dehydrated? This is the worst experience ever. "W-Wa...er." you can't even say the word water right. You're going insane.

"H-Ha- me." your eyes began to burn again as you wanted to toss and turn around, yet you don't have any power to. The last word you're going to say in this life is definitely Hajime.

You're going to die.

It took all your efforts to turn your head to the side and first thing you noticed were flowers in a vase on top of your nightstand. You're pretty sure you did not put those outstanding flowers in such a hideous-looking vase. Suddenly the door was slammed open and you watched how your childhood friend comes through your door with a beautiful pink apron.

"Oh, [name]-chan is already awake!" he smiles brightly and walked towards your bed. "I cooked your favorite, Okayu!" It wasn't your favorite, but you quite like it.

With that he placed the dish on your nightstand and sat on the edge of your bed. "How are you feeling?" Umemiya asked while gently laying his hand against your forehead. "Hmm... You still have high fever. But luckily, your fever reduced!" he helps you sit up by putting his arm under your back before making sure you're sitting comfortable. "You should get more often sick, then I can take care of you!"

"..." you glared at him. Actually- you tried. It's still hard for you, because you're a sick person right now. If you weren't, then you'd definitely punch him.

"I'm just kidding!" he chuckled jokingly. He wasn't joking.

You panted heavily while using your arm as a support to sit up. It felt like your body has no bones and would only consist of organs and meat. You could easily puke out everything you've eaten the past days. "I should let you sleep more, shouldn't I?" his voice was laced with worry. "But you haven't eaten yesterday. You slept through the day. What should I do?"

"...water." a single word left your lips and your mouth was dry again.

"Yeah, you're right!" he nods his head motivated and grabbed the bottle of water next to your bed before opening it and helping you drink.

Never in your seventeen years of living have you drunk your water so quickly. You coughed as soon as the bottle left your lips. He chuckled and patted your back gently. And it got worse, because your stomach began to growl. Now you really can die out of embarrassment. "Wanna eat?" he asked enthusiastic and smiled brightly. His great cooking isn't going to waste before it's getting cold!

"Mhm..." you nodded weakly and leaned against the wall.

As he took the spoon into his hand, your eyes wandered to the dish. Okayu was an easy dish to make. You only need to simmer the rice in a pot with water until it disintegrates. And because the rice is tender, soft, and easily digestible, it is considered a healing food in Japan. You typically serve okayu to people who are recovering from sickness. "You love okayu, right?" he asked.

Quietly, you hummed and then opened your mouth to welcome the spoon he was holding. "I did everything the recipe told me to do." he explained, while you listend. The warm and comforting rice that should soothe the body and restore energy tasted not good. Gosh. Now you're crying again. You felt the tears building up at the corner in your eyes as you narrowed them slightly.

"[name]?!" his eyes widened and he immediately placed it to the side. "Why are you crying? Is it that good?"

It's actually quite unsavory. And you're crying because it's that bad. Not even you can create such outrageous dish and you couldn't even cook properly without looking at the instructions every second. "It's... bad." you muttered, the tears are flowing, gliding down your rosy cheeks. "R-Really... bad." you never imagined you would cry because of food. But here you are, looking down at the rice porridge.

"Oh. I should've tasted first!" now you're giving him a reason to cry with you as he sulked slightly. "Go to sleep while I'll cook something better, okay?"

Umemiya really looked upset about his own dish as he stood up quickly to walk out of the room, only for you to reach out for him, grabbing his shirt successfully. If you move one more muscle, you really are going to die. You breathed out. "It's so bad... that it's good again." you're just saying nonsense. It's bad. Bad bad. No one can save it anymore.

He stood still, looking at you. And not even a second passed as his face lit up. "It's not that bad, right?!" he beamed, sitting down on tue edge of your bed again while holding the spoon up again. Oh it's hard for you to say anything bad again. Even though it's your honest opinion. He began to feed you again with a spoon full of Okayu.

You're so tired and it felt like you're going to die. But it's fine, because you're full. Full of his very 'delicious' dish. And to your surprise, you didn't feel as weak as before. It works like magic, doesn't it? Medicine always tastes bad, so you suppose it's not that bad. "How did it even end up that bad? What happend?" he asked, getting you out of your thoughts, as placed the bowl on your nightstand.

"Needed ideas to draw." you gave him a short explanation, closing your eyes tiredly.

"And then?" seems like it wasn't enough.

"Found a bunny on a small hill. When I got a picture..." you paused and breathed out. It's even tiring to talk. "I stood up, slipped and rolled down. Lost my camera."

At that he frowned. "You lost the camera? Isn't very special to you?" he looked pretty worried.

"It is. But I won't risk it to get it..." you layed down on your bed again. "Camera hanging on that one branch."

"But the pictures... You really wanna give up?" he sulked. "You didn't even send me our picture!"

"Yeah yeah, you baby." you coughed a bit. "Let's talk about it later. I wanna sleep."

"Aww!" he smiles again and he covers you with your blanket, getting your face closer. "Goodnight kisses to sleep better?"

"No, get away from me before you also catch a cold."

"I don't mind getting sick if I can kiss you." he forms his lips to kiss lips, only for you to push him away with your hand against his face.

"Good night. Or noon. I don't know what to say." he glanced down to you, leaning the weight of his head against your hand. "Don't die on me and get better, yeah? We're going to have so much fun the next days. As an apology for not taking care of you." this time, his smile was rather sadder than the others as he grabbed your wrist gently, placing soft kisses on your palm down to your inner wrist.

"Yeah, yeah..." you rolled your eyes and turned your head away, letting him hold your hand a bit longer. How does your face even get redder? You already have fever, now it's getting hotter and hotter.

The grip around your wrist gets tighter, not enough to hurt you in any way.

"...thank you for taking care of me right now. I'm not sure what would have happend to me if you weren't there—" you coughed again. This is killing you.

"Oh, [name]. You wouldn't want to know what would happen to me if you aren't here anymore." he chuckles. "I probably would have gone insane by now. And that would be one of the less serious things."

"You think way too much of me."

"No, no. I think too little of you."

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

　Despite the tiredness in your body, you stayed awake the whole time. You silently eyed the cloudy sky until the shining, warm sun swapped places with the calm, quiet moon. There was no way you could fall asleep after Umemiya walked out of your bedroom. You listened how he washed the dishes, without breaking anything to your luck, cleaned your apartment and then opening the door and leaving you alone in your room.

You thought he would make a quick shopping or visit kotoha to also check up on her or maybe greet the town— You don't know. During the time he was out, you layed on your bed with eyes wide open to watch the sky, not noticing it was night already. Your window was also open, letting the cold breeze of wind float around the room while you searched comfort under your blanket.

'It's getting lonely.' is the only thought that's lingering in your mind. 'Why do I even care? I'm most of the time alone.' you sighed and closed your eyes, trying your hardest to fall asleep. 'Hajime won't come again, right? He doesn't even have keys.' you yawned. A slight smile forms on your lips. You do miss his company. He's the only thing that's loud in your life. But you don't mind, because sometimes you're bored of the quiet life.

And he makes everyday exciting.

Suddenly, you heard someone having trouble putting the keys in the door. They even had trouble taking of their shoes, what a funny burglar. You turned your head to the open door and waited for the next sound. The person sneaked around your apartment and when they reached your door, you turned your head as fast as possible and as quietly as possible. They peeked in, you think.

"Awh... I had hopes to wish her good night."

Ah. It was Umemiya.

"I'm awake, dummy." you whispered and faced his direction again. "Where were you?"

If only you could see him. It's so dark. And a bit creepy. The moonlight only shines down on your side of the room while the other half was dark. You heard his steps how he came closer and the first thing you saw, was a familiar camera in his hands. Your eyes widened at that. "Did you... Did you searched for the camera as you left?" now you were speechless as you stared him in shock.

"Yeah! And I found it! Actually, I already knew where it was. I only tried to climb up the small hill. Scratch that. The hill wasn't small at all." he showed you his brightest smile.

Even though the moon is out and shines down at the both of you now, his smile resembles the sun, blinding your vision slightly. You avoided his smile, as your gaze went down as soon as you noticed his dirty cheek. Oh. His shirt was a bit ripped. His usual slicked-back, white hair was messy. And his clothes were stained with soil. "...how many tries did it take you?" you asked in a soft whisper voice.

"Hmm, don't know. Maybe over twenty." it definitely was over thirty— fourty times.

"Why?" you let out an exasperated sigh and shut your eyes, needing a while to process his not so smart actions.

"Uh, because you hold it dear to you?"

Your eyes immediately opened again as you looked at him again, speechless once again. He never fails to make you speechless. "Didn't I told you it isn't worth to risk it, or did I forget to tell you? Just look at you." you shook your head in disagreement. "You're all dirty and your clothes are ragged up." you furrowed your eyebrows in frustration. Even if you're sick, you can't take off your eyes of him.

"But it's still a small price to pay."

"No—"

"Yes. You have a lot of memories on it. And pictures of me. You can draw them instead of searching motives to paint." he smiles again and sat down on the floor, not daring to touch your bed, knowing you hate germs.

"..." you stared at him and sighed once again. You have no more things to discuss with him.

"Can I get the picture now as a reward?"

"Of course... I intended to send you those photos anyway."

"Nice!" he beams.

You turned your whole body to him and looked made room for him and lift the blanket, offering him to lay down beside you. While he was staring. The longer he stared, the more uncomfortable you got. "Come on. My arm is getting tired." you whispered impatiently and furrowed your eyebrows. Your cheeks fired up a bit. You're glad you have a weak fever. Otherwise he would notice it.

"I'm dirty."

"And? You got the camera... for me. And..." you trailed off. "And i'm a bit cold, okay? Now hurry up."

Not wasting another second he begins to grin, taking off his jacket before crawling into your bed beside you. "You're the sweetest, [name]! I kinda hope you get more often sick! Then I can take care of you again and maybe sleep beside you for the night." he told you excited, his blue eyes are shining. "I don't mind! I could even stay by your side everyday. You know how boring my life is without you?"

Oh he doesn't know how boring your life would be.

"Uh-huh." you hummed, closing your eyes. Maybe now you can sleep.

"Let's take care of your flowers tomorrow, okay? I haven't seen them for like years!" he rambles. Not again.

"Yes, yes..." you nodded at the sound of his voice.

Even though he's a little loud, you can fall asleep anytime. Without a single worry. Why? Maybe because you felt safe around him. You don't know.

"[name]?"

"Mmh?"

"I saw the paintings you drew. Love 'em. Can I have some?"

You turned your back to him, your ears got warm.

"Can I hug you?" he chuckles.

"If you sleep now." you sighed, slightly embarrassed.

"Okay, I promise." his arms wrapped around your waist.

"..."

"Can we do this more often?"

"You just promised me to sleep."

"Sorry. I'm so happy. I'll shut my mouth now. Good night."

"Night."

You're going to die because of embarrassment. What are you thinking?

- NAN0KA [ june 28th, 2024 ]

I honestly think umemiya can cook. but ngl the thought that he makes horrible dishes, makes my day.

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