⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️

I'm tired, so fucking tired. But not the tired that goes away after I sleep, not the kind of tired that ever goes away. I'm the kind of tired that sits in your bones, the kind that makes your feet feel like lead. My fingers want to scratch until they find the tired, they want to break and pull until the tired is gone but it never will be. It will always be there much like a shadow.

I’m distant but it’s not cute or mysterious; I really want to be closer to people but it’s hard

BODY I HATE THIS BODY

I hate myself for letting someone have this much power over me. For letting myself fall this hard. Allowing myself to become this broken. It hurts so fucking bad and its my own fault.

The thought that I could’ve been living a happy life right now will forever haunt me. I’ve missed so many chances, there are so many memories I didn’t get to make. I didn’t get to meet so many people, couldn’t attend so many events. I have wasted so many nights overthinking and wasn’t able to fully enjoy the few happy moments I was given. There is so much potential in me I will never get to use, so many paths I’ll never be able to walk. There was a chance of me being happy and it was ripped out of my hands, right in front of my eyes.

Why can’t I just feel happy? Why can’t I just feel beautiful? Why can’t I just be okay?