what a web you've spun

   ⸺   syscourse & opinions.

i feel like the occurrence of different parts in a system having different opinions on hot topics in syscourse not often talked about.

eg, i collectively identify as anti-endo as a strictly disordered system, but i have some parts who are endo-neutral, and a small handful who are pro-endo.

obviously, it's fine if you prefer to work towards functional multiplicity, but in order to be healthy as a person with a CDD there are some recovery steps that need to be taken regardless of what your actual goal is.

trying to prevent fusion or integration, actively celebrating splitting, and refusing to source separate, are all inherently unhealthy behaviors because they inhibit integration. of course it doesn't get better overnight, but the first step is to actually try to heal.

there's also the fact that child alters, aka 'littles,' aren't actual children, and there is a distinction (at least for myself and many people i've spoken to) between a child alter and a perpetually regressed alter.

i find the concept of 'willogenic,' purposefully created systems to be rather insulting.

you have no idea what it's like to suffer and struggle in this particular way. you have no idea how hard it is to lack a sense of identity. you do not get to compare yourself to the people who do.

i'm not talking about endos, i'm specifically speaking about anti-endo CDD spaces.

i don't think people are consciously faking, and i certainly don't think any of them have malicious intent, but i do think they are mistaken about what is causing their symptoms. DID is not an 'alter disorder,' it is a dissociative disorder with close proximity to PTSD. it's not just having alters, it is also depersonalization, derealization, and flashbacks to traumatic events.