Hymns to the Wolf in Man

“I don’t paint pretty pictures, I don’t write mushy love notes, I don’t want someone to gush to me about how they think I am everything they ever wanted. I want a connection. I want the mental stimulation that finding someone, who understands everything I actually am, can bring.

I use song lyrics (or quotes or many other things) written by others to help communicate emotion. Symbols are also values as they communicate a message without having to use a bunch of words. Verbal expression of feelings is difficult because I’m almost self conscious about it. It’s vocabulary I’m not used to using, and I witness others (feelers) using it in excess. I don’t want you to think I’m just throwing words around.

A relationship is an investment. I can decide quickly who will work out and who will not. I make quick judgments, and once I decide on the one who will work, I am invested. If I know a relationship is done with, I cut emotion quickly.

Try to stick to the plans we’ve made. I get disappointed when things don’t go according to plan. If we are going out on a Friday night, and we decided on pizza, I can deal with switching to Chinese. Just don’t call me Thursday afternoon and tell me you have to reschedule. If I actually like you, I would have been looking forward to it. (If I was relieved you canceled, it’s not going to work out with us anyway).

I am more sensitive than you think. I take critique well. I don’t take your criticism well. You are important and so is your opinion. You do have the ability to hurt my feelings.

Although I prefer peace, I don’t bend to make peace; I can get stubborn. I like to come to a win/win solution for us both. Loose ends bother me. I will never be coy about bringing up issues. Empathy is difficult because I can be self centered. Knowing I hurt you hurts me, but I also need to know why what I did hurt you. It has to make sense to me. If I love you, I am direct with you because I want things to get worked out. Bottom line: fixing the problem, and fixing it quickly, is the goal.

I collect info over time and make general observations. If I accuse you of something and you ask for specifics, I have a hard time recalling exacts. I know something happened, I just don’t remember the trivial (to me) details. Once I generalize, I toss the details. If I do remember details, it means something is terribly wrong.”