to live for the hope of it all

how the tables turn. today was other worldly. we spent a lot of time together. we went to have lunch, we walked in pretty streets, then movie, then dinner. This kind of freedom and proximity with him is very strange. strange in a good way. we dont talk much. that is kind of off. i felt this weird feeling after the movie. it was a very different movie-psychological thriller. horror, sci-fi. weird in the sense that it was quiet and as if he was hesitating to tell me that we leave to our homes. he was sleepy and was lost? but we still could talk and vibe. idk i was feeling the closeness so much that i didnt know what to do with it. this is a different dynamic altogether. slow burn? i dont know. i am not sure about wanting to kiss him. i would very much like for us to be jus friends. he wont be a match for me and being physical would just be so bad for our friendship. yeah so that was that. did i feel good? yes i did. maybe i felt a bit off about spending a lot. i spent for me. and but he spent on food. somewhere there is equality. yes he spent on auto and and food. yes, money should be the last thing concerning me. yeah he is a calm person. no sense of urgency and just there was a lot of closeness in the theatre as well. his looks, his hesitation. calmness all of it was all so cute. i will remember this day. a sweet day.a very mundane and a boring day. a very cute day. yes i did feel weird about the silence and it was okay. we talked a few things

finds unproblematic scenes problematic.