Let it go.
βLet it goβ she said, as though it were an item I was hoarding.Β
Let it go as if I were holding on to it..as though I wanted it.Β
Itβs a memory of an experience I lived. I do not want it. I would love to let it go. There is just one problem: Iβm not holding on to it. It is holding on to me!
I was in an abusive relationship. My ex husband, the abuser is ever present in my life as we have a child.
Every time my daughter says βI wish mommy and daddy were still together, I am reminded of why weβre not. I get the comfortable task of explaining to my daughter through her tears that mommy and daddy canβt be together while trying not to make daddy sound bad. Because thatβs her dad I am talking about. She loves him and anything negative about him, no matter how true, would only hurt her.
Daddy was horrible to Mommy. Mommy ran to a shelter to escape because there was no way in hell I was going to let you grow up in an environment where you thought this was acceptable! I was not letting you see him treat me that way so that when someone came along treating you that way you would tolerate it! Hell no!
But I donβt give her the details, theyβre painful. Theyβre even more painful to relive than they are to hear about.
So at night, when my daughter is in tears because her parents are not together and I am left trying to comfort her I will just βlet it goβ as you suggested.
Every time I am at an award ceremony or a school event where Iβm alone watching this amazing childβs achievements and I have no one to experience it with me, I will just βLet it go.β
Every time I miss work to care for her while she is ill, with no supplemental income, no assistance and no childcare, I will just βlet it go.β
Since the man who abused me is still in my life as a result of having a child with him, itβs real easy to let it go.. every time I have to talk to him, see him, be nice to him, despite everything he put me throughβ¦ I will let it goβ¦
Thatβs some sound advice! You sure are smart. Way to be a problem solver.
The best part of all of this is that she wasnβt part of the conversation, nor was she invited to it, and the topic wasnβt even about anything she told me to let go of. She inserted herself and forced the topic direction.
Sometimes women are the biggest obstacle to a better future for other women.
